It's going to be like that mirror all over again
Topic: School
Every year there is an adult daycare center near where I live that puts on a cake auction. Businesses in the area donate cakes with incentives (gift certificates, etc) and people bid. The money goes to the center.

Being that I'm a culinary student, my class obviously donates 2 cakes every year. Well, lucky me, Miss Tennessee is like, spearheading the whole thing.

So help me God, if she makes a cake that looks like a dildo I'll strangle her.

She's picked out this horrible monster of a cake. Like 4 layers, I shit you not. Uh, she does know we have to transport this motherfucker right??

I tried to give my input, I was shot down. So, fuck her I say. I hope she makes it and the Goddamn thing falls over.

Tick tock, all you've got is time
Topic: Me
I find that my biological clock has been ticking particularly loud as of late. That's no good.

I can't live on jellybeans, but I'll certainly try
Topic: Me
So it's that time of year. Easter. Let's remember the real meaning of this holiday. We need to take time to stop and think about the incredible, awe-inspiring, humbling experience that is Easter. That is of course..

JELLYBEANS.

Rather than eating a normal, healthy meal, I just dine on jellybeans for as long as they are in my presence. I'm addicted. They're little pellets of fruity goodness. Especially the Starburst variety.

When I put them in my mouth it's like I step out of my body and am watching from across the room. I'm watching myself and wanting to scream, "Stop it! Stop it! Stop! What are you doing?!" I see it happening and can't stop myself. I know I shouldn't eat them. I know where it will end. And I don't care. Which I know totally makes me sound melodramatic.

I hate bodily fluids, but I have no qualms about scooping my vomit out of the shower drain and flushing it down the toilet. That's a problem. And again, I don't care. There was a period that I did. There was a period where I wanted to get better. But it has become such a huge part of who I am and what I do that I am afraid to be me without it. I don't know who I am without it. I CAN'T be me without it.

Wow, that's kind of a downer. This started out being happy. Weird how one's mind wanders.

Oh how I love thee
Topic: I was just thinking
I love Oasis. I had forgotten how imporant they were to me, but have recently rediscovered my love of them.

If the recipe calls for vaginal secretion, find another place to eat
Topic: Work
So today was orientation for my internship. How many times would you imagine a culinary intern would have to write "vaginal secretion" during orientation?

The answer is two.

I know it was a general employee orientation (at an assisted living facility...which is why bodily fluids came into play), but honestly if the place you're eating at has a problem with vaginal secretions in the kitchen, I'd eat elsewhere.