Site hosted by Build your free website today!
« October 2003 »
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31
Wednesday, 1 October 2003

Food cures all evil

Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: slurping, gobbling, ice-creamy sounds

Gawd bless my yesterday-self. My whining, self-pitying, gratuitous self. Because in the gaps between attention seeking, and melancholy, I spent four - yes, four! - hours logging onto Tesco online and ordering groceries.
This means I had to crawl out of my stinking pit by lunchtime, to accept the delivery. Even better, I had to actually shower - a great service to humanity and the other beings who have to inhabit my airspace (mostly feline, but you never know).

Brushing my teeth and commiserating on the hard life I lead, I noticed that my lips are chafed. Strange. Was I attacking my own lips in the night, in a furious search for solace? Or did the bloody cat have at me with her claws when I missed the alarm again?

Aaaaaaaaanyway, as lemonpillows says, by this morning I had no memory whatsoever of what I'd ordered, just that it had taken four long, infuriating hours to do it, and that it had cost a bomb. Oh, and that I'd been drunkenly upbraided by ex-DH for not ordering her favourite brand of toothpaste (Bad Mexican Maid: but stuff it, when she pays for any of the food she eats, she can claim priority in toothpaste branding). Cue about eighty bulging carrier bags and one Nice Man who didn't mind carrying them up to the third floor ("it's my job miss" - bloody hell, the whole concept of 'uncomplaining' was enough to shock me from my stupor - I hadn't even tried The Ankle Excuse).

And --- praise --- benedicite --- gramercy to my Sick Self: I'd ordered everything a Sick Person could possibly require. No, not that sort of Sick!

Nine bottles of very expensive wine (shameful!);
Eighty-two sadbastardreadymeals (including five variants of Ocean Pie);
Four pots of ice cream (three low fat, one B&J Cookies n Cream, currently sinking into an insatiable hollow) (ie. my face);
Deep Heat anaesthetising sprain spray (yay! just in case there really was a sprain, which, dammit, there is) (Note to self: do not spray on face, even if depressed);
A billion English apples (that's the sort of thing I always presume will make me healthy - conveniently forgetting you have to eat them as well)
Great toast-making bread, crumpets, choccy biccies;
Quaker oats (so I can imagine a warm orange glow from the 1970s, protecting me from harm);
Every type of continental cheese I can eat (none of which would go into a fondue, but hell, I can work my way up) (sorry to Dave for the frequent references to cheese of late!);
Eggs! For the frying of! With Beans! and Toast!
Some German salami (to enable me to make my favourite salami and grilled feta sandwich, yay).
Now I am one happy bunny.

And what's more, listing these gustatory delights has knocked the blog entry where my girlfriend dumped me from the front page. So life does go on.

CNPS: 20
I weigh: 68.4kg (lemme see how much I can gain by tonight... hehehe)
The Gender Genie algorithm still says my blog is male. Dammit!!!!

This page graced by sarsparilla at 3:22 PM BST
Updated: Wednesday, 1 October 2003 4:22 PM BST
Post Comment | View Comments (20) | Permalink | Share This Post

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 4:58 PM BST

Name: yidaho

My blog is male, too, despite trying five different blog entries, meanie genie.

CNPS: You found 20, or still looking for 20?

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 5:05 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

@#%$! you, you're right. I'm at CNPS 19. Ack. Coises!

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 5:20 PM BST

Name: Looby
Home Page:

I was disappointed that t came out male for mine as well, although it classifies "the" as male though, which is a bit of an in-built bias to the results coming out male.

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 5:25 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Although the words 'his', 'him', 'actually', and 'because' are female, which should really compensate. If I had a boyfriend, I'm sure The Whingeing would incorporate many such words.

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 5:51 PM BST



Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 6:43 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Now that's what I call Cheating Properly.

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 7:45 PM BST

Name: lemonpillows
Home Page:

I come out as male, too...

What did I say in reference to Tescos, by the way? Has escaped my memory.. (or am I missing something?)

And how come you've got to 19 already??? I'm still looking for number 15! Saw bloody loads of em while looking for 13... but none since.. bugger!

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 8:03 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

You didn't, you just always say "aaaanyway,"!

19 was a sodding @#%$! to find - I had to resort to cheating and go to Essex to spot personalised plates for both 16 and 19....

Hey how come angelfire doesn't think buggery is swearing. I think references to sodomy should count as classically rude.

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 8:34 PM BST

Name: yidaho
Home Page:

Can you remember *where* in Essex, exactly? I've been stuck on 19 for weeks now.. even a round trip to Brighton, including a slow crawl to the top floor of the NCP in West Street, yielded no results.

Does Angelfire put those "@#%$!"s in itself? Clever fuckers!

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 8:37 PM BST

Name: yidaho
Home Page:

or The Best Cheating in The World... EVER... Volume VI (DJ Beanie Genie Remix Feat. Alah Din MC)

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 9:39 PM BST

Name: Tess

Pah, 19s and 20s? I have been stuck on 10 for about 3 bloody weeks. Chris says going to a numberplate place is cheating, so I had to back to 1 and start all over again in August.

I want to do my shopping online now - does the wee man charge much extra to put the food in the cupboards?

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 9:42 PM BST

Name: Tess

LMAO! Just a @#%$!.

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 9:47 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Drive round any country lane in Ezzex (preferably ones that radiate out from Chigwell) at rush hour on a Friday, and you get loads. It's not as much cheating as what Tess does.

Interesting that angelfire censors @#%$! but not @#%$!. Someone wasn't expecting a gangbang, perhaps.

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 10:34 PM BST

Name: tess

See now I'm worried cos I don't know if he wants a shag or a @#%$!, I couold be persuaded to do one, but never the other - not with someone else anyway

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 10:37 PM BST

Name: tess

Ewwwww, so he does want a @#%$!. A joint @#%$!? Minger. Did you do it with him?

Wednesday, 1 October 2003 - 11:10 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

I don't know what you mean? With the Nice Tesco Delivery Man? I only @#%$! @#%$! @#%$! @#%$! --- I certainly didn't @#%$! @#%$! @#%$! @#%$!. I'm a nice girl, me.

Thursday, 2 October 2003 - 1:47 AM BST

Name: Martin Sewell
Home Page:

Tesco online is dangerous. After I'd stopped drinking, but whilst I was still single I bought '1 Boutet Champagne 750ml 6|75cl' to put in the fridge "just in case someone popped round". It's still there now.

Thursday, 2 October 2003 - 1:58 AM BST

Name: Vanessa

@#%$!! Dave and I have popped round, and not a sniff of it.

Although, come to think of it, we did ask you to stand and wait outside, before arriving and leaving in the same twenty seconds.

Thursday, 2 October 2003 - 2:59 AM BST

Name: Martin Sewell
Home Page:

I thought you drank Guinness! ;-)

Thursday, 2 October 2003 - 1:27 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Foiled again!

I seem to remember drinking bitter, Stella and dodgy warm white wine on the last few outings.

View Latest Entries