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Saturday, 11 October 2003


I forgot: the sequel to this. The girl didn't kill herself, and I don't think she's going to now. I asked her what stopped her, and apparently I had telephoned her mother to explain why she was not home on time, so her mum wouldn't worry. I'd said all this on an answerphone message. Poor kid tells me next day she'd played the message over and over again, and as a consequence, hadn't done anything stupid.
It's incredible how much of what we do for each other is down to chance.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 5:08 PM BST
Updated: Saturday, 11 October 2003 5:09 PM BST
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the whingeing retrouve

My head really really hurts today. Drinking didn't help much.
Thanks to the sage advice of many friends who undertook to calm my fury, I managed to rant, rave, scream and shout, but not to be violent. Which is good.
Ex-DH isn't a demon, in fact I get the impression it's all partly a delaying tactic, to be honest. But I've waited around for ten weeks, now, painful as it might be, I need a result. She finally agreed that her continuing to live here isn't the best idea in the world.
Sounds like either I get a lodger to stay living here, or I move out. I'll try the former, but it might not be possible. A solicitor is required. I'll get onto that.
So, I stayed in bed till four. Then ex-DH went to stay with Duch, today, to spare my feelings. She looked awful, she'd been crying all day, I think. I lent her the car to get her stuff there, but refused to come with her.
After that, I mostly cried a lot. At last.
It's like being a bit player in some awful melodrama. Well, two awful melodramas: the one where I desperately try to hang on to a place to live, as if that's the most important thing. The other where someone I love desperately goes away and I miss her.
Oh dear. Everything makes me cry now. Perhaps that's a good thing. My sister pointed out who'd want to be *good* at breaking up with someone?
I have to apologise to hundreds of people today for being embarrassing - getting them out of bed to scream at them down the phone, etc. How humiliating. I don't know why I'm blogging this, or blogging at all. I guess your mind returns to bad things on impulse, tries to make things safe for you, so you can think about painful stuff without the same gut wrenching feeling.
I had intended to go clubbing in SW London with yidaho tonight, but I think crying in a club is possibly even sadder than crying all the time at home. The house seems empty and scary now. Be careful what you wish for, eh?

If I could have anything in the world, right now, it'd be her. Maybe I needed her not to be here to have space to think about that.

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Am drowning misery, till it rattles and dies. Go away.

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Friday, 10 October 2003

Divorce Me 3

She wants One Hundred and Ninety Thousand pounds from me.

Three hundred and Sixteen Thousand US dollars.
Two hundred and Seventy Thousand Euros.
Equal to Eight hundred and Fifty One ounces of gold.

Plus the money for the furniture.

I couldn't find the exchange rate for pieces of silver.
To put that into perspective, she wants me to get a mortgage that is seven times my salary (despite the outstanding court judgements against me). And then to spend the next fifty years of my life paying for the mistake of having trusted her.

This is 'fair.' It will allow her to give up work, and to extend the appetite for travel which the 8 weeks in Australia I paid for whetted.

I've never even conceived that a person could segue into money grabbing usurer so quickly.

Do all this, and pay for the food, Vanessa.

If this is the deal, boy do I stand to take me some well-deserved slaps out of it.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 7:03 AM BST
Updated: Friday, 10 October 2003 7:25 AM BST
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Thursday, 9 October 2003


Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Sounds of the neighbours giggling, barely perceptible over the violin parts in Arvo Part's 'Tabula Rasa'

I spent an hour today persuading an under-age rape victim not to kill herself. After, I did my duty and reported the case to the relevant authorities, who asked me for my 'professional opinion' as to whether I thought she was likely to top herself tonight, or if she might well wait until tomorrow. What did I estimate were her chances? Drawing upon my vast reserves of training to recognise and deal with such eventualities (approximately nought years of hard training, leading to nil qualification), I guesstimated that she would not die until tomorrow. And Derren Frigging Brown thinks he takes risks.
That surely cured me of this week's furious temper tantrums for a while - that and varying my drive home along the longer, scenic route.
At sunset, I drove across Blackheath, through the village, through the middle of Greenwich royal park (it's ok, you're allowed to -- not doing a Michael Douglas just yet), past the Naval Colleges, the Royal Observatory and through Greenwich itself, scanning the restaurants looking for somewhere to take my colleagues out for a meal, because they covered my stuff okay while I was off sick.
It was pretty, the parks, the architecture, the town market centres, the Thames, the ships and the view of Docklands beyond, all of it, and it calmed me down no end. Pay it forward, indeed.

I suddenly felt better for having acted my way through all of last night (dutiful reasonable ex-girlfriend role), for having been someone there, then, able to help that kid, and for having nothing worse to worry about than my own hurt feelings.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 8:34 PM BST
Updated: Thursday, 9 October 2003 8:51 PM BST
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blogtanian, prince and consumer of blogs

Now Playing: the cutesy iddle puddacat is snoring

Now that's weird. I definitely did visit Makky's blog this afternoon and read everything I could. When I saw tonight she'd left a comment on my blog, I had a trace memory of making wanky comments, and assumed that's why she'd visited here. Just checked back on Makky's blog ... no comments left by me!

Strangeness indeed.

So, of course, wanting cyberspace to be neat, I left a wanky comment.

Other news:
Lemonpillows was the first ever victim of a flashblog yesterday. Go congratulate her, and never ever partake of this sort of nonsense yourself.
And the Blog Iceberg is my new favouritest concept.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 12:53 AM BST
Updated: Thursday, 9 October 2003 12:54 AM BST
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Wednesday, 8 October 2003

Diagnosis: over-charged Splenetic Sourness, characterised by Malodorous Humours

Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: the sound of my nose running, against a backdrop of Sigur Ros

Reasons not to go to work today:
I overslept.
I feel crappy.
I can't get more than five hours sleep a night, and no I haven't tried the Vodka Method yet.
I can't even remember what today's schedule at work is.
I can attempt to get a doctor's appointment again, and ask for hard mentaller's drugs. (No? You don't think I'm a mentallist? Sigh.)

It's something like one doctor per 2000 patients on the NHS in London, and where I live in East London, if you're not a pikey slag with 18 screaming kids covered in cigarette stub sores, you'll never get seen by anyone qualified. But I still need a sick certificate for last week, so I have to make attempt number 7 to get into the place.
In fact, the service is so shit that a while ago, I gave up and had no doctor for a year or two (the old doctor closed his practise and threw all the records away. Without telling me. Yes, I know that's not what they're supposed to do, but you try telling that to the overstuffed dragonish matrons who work the reception areas ... "don't you take that tone with me, missy" is a direct quote.) Didn't notice any difference at all in not having a doctor - it's no more difficult to get an appointment with a doctor who doesn't exist, after all - but then switched |genericjob| and 'doctor's details' is another of those official type things, like next of kin, that they rather worryingly require from you.
[I don't see what it has to do with standing around and being obstructive all day (which is basically what I'm paid for). If you take too much time off and get formal warnings, they only ever believe their doc, not yours, and their doc is waaaay easier to fool. Ooops, giving too much away?]

So anyway, I signed up to a new doctor. First time I went in, I was sick with flu, and underwent the usual barrage of unhelpful barked instructions. They didn't notice the breaking into a cold sweat, and when I began the pre-fainting sway, I got "what's wrong with you?!"'t you supposed to tell me?
Usually, though, it's simply a matter of not allowing you an appointment for the next four years minimum. I used to love receptionists' seething inexpressible hatred when you fix them with a steely eye and calmly say 'emergency'. However, that's a little unfair, so I don't do it anymore, I try to play by their game and their rules.

I stubbed my toe. It keeps bleeding. When can I see a doctor.
You want a nurse.
I want a doctor. When can I see him.
Sigh. Four weeks from now. (This line shortened by sixteen minutes to save bandwidth.)

Nowadays, if it's serious, I just give up on a five hour block of time and go straight to a hospital emergency room with my stubbed toe. The ones with a million red signs outside warning that if you waste their expensive time and resources with something your GP could have dealt with, they'll take legal action. But five hours sat in bits of blood, vom and pee next to a nice old mad tramp who thinks you're Satan is a lot shorter than five weeks of trying to remember that you stubbed your toe.
But you can't get a sick cert from a hospital A&E.

I did try the doctor's surgery last week, when I was more visibly ill than today:
visit one: the surgery is closed.
visit two: the surgery does not take bookings at this time.
visit three: you missed the earlier time, for when the surgery does not need a booking. We only take booked appointments now. No, we have no appointments for you to book.
visit four: it's our two hour long lunch hour. We've pulled down a riot-shutter.
visit five: we've switched our phonelines over to the fax machine. If you're really honestly sick, you'll find a way around this.
visit six: we've decided not to open our evening or weekend surgeries any more. Go away.

Given that I haven't even gained access to the building with any effectiveness yet, the chances look bleak. I've still got to grapple with the dangers posed by Sixteen Year Old Illiterate Receptionist, then make my way up to the battle against the forces of Dragon On Phone, and finally wage war against the Angry Dragon Patently In Love With Doctor Who Wants Him All For Her Sad Frosty Self.
But wait! I spent two days as a doctor's receptionist in Harley Street this summer. What hypocrisy! I chased one paying customer away for being late. Where do I fit into this easy, disgruntled sarcastic diatribe?
Dragon Who Doesn't Give A Fuck.
I'm going back to bed.

Sleepwatch: 5 hours.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 9:09 AM BST
Updated: Wednesday, 8 October 2003 9:25 AM BST
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Tuesday, 7 October 2003


Mood:  down
Now Playing: Norah Jones, Coldplay, MOR indulgent stuff

Best quote of yesterday, from someone I work with:
"Maaaaan, while you were off, we was livin' The Life!"

In a fortnight's time, I get a week's holiday. Thank christ.

Tomorrow, Harvardboy is coming over from Hamburg, so I'll be socialising with him and the ex-DH in the evening. Despite having spent years pointing out to each other that they've known each other longest, he has emailed me to let me know I shan't be automatically dropped. Which was considerate of him, but my current cynicism is so deeply ingrained by now, that I wonder what prompted it. As Vic pointed out, perhaps she intends to sell me half her friends?
Am making real attempts to not allow my sourfaced critical negative nature emerge in public till Thursday. Or Zero Hour, as I've been referring to it.

Sleepwatch: 4.5 hours

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Vanessa/Female/31-35. Lives in United Kingdom/London/East London/Bow, speaks English and German. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection. And likes Literature / Movies/Food / Eating / Drinking.
This is my blogchalk:
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This page graced by sarsparilla at 6:37 PM BST
Updated: Tuesday, 7 October 2003 7:05 PM BST
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Monday, 6 October 2003

Diagnosis: barely suppressed rage

Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Frank Sinatra

Last night I got a break from acting as five hour trampoline for two insane cats who don't quite fit onto a single bed. (Apparently sleeping in the washing basket is quite the in-thing today, if you're a cat.)
You'd have thought this meant I get more sleep? No bloody chance. Took till 3am to get some shut eye, then all of that was wasted on weird nightmares. Which in itself would merely be irritating, but no; my nightmares would have to be bloody transparent even to a retard who spotted a flashcard titled 'Freud' in 1976.
Context: although splitting up with my ex-girlfriend, I've been doing my best to be reasonable. This involves being aloof when the waterworks start, not slagging her off to my friends, and being scrupulous about not blogging anything which would leave either of us feeling bad**.
The downside of being reasonable, as Briar pointed out yesterday, is the ensuing feelings of barely suppressed, simmering, near-homicidal rage.

Anyway, so last night I spent the twilight hours visualising limbs being torn apart (John Irving: 'The Fourth Hand' - not at all recommended), then continued the theme into the zzz-hours, with REM functions that involved me standing in front of a terrorist planted time-bomb.
My response to this obvious position of moral authority was to slowly and carefully kill in cold blood six potential bomb -defusers (is defusers a word?). I shot them one by one, and watched them scream and twist as they died.
When two were left, whimpering and crawling to get away, I quite deliberately, and without justification set off a semtex charge against my chest, exploding the incendiary device I was guarding, and killing everything within several miles.
[innocent girly face] Gee, I wonder what that dream means? [ end innocent girly face ]

I think I had better find some more rational way to express the anger I patently can't avoid feeling, before the cats find a premature end.

** I think we can safely say this phase is ending.

Sleepwatch: 3 hours.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 8:14 PM BST
Updated: Monday, 6 October 2003 10:28 PM BST
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Divorce Me 2

"I'll sell you my half of the furniture."

You'll what? You'll .... what?

You'll fucking what?

This page graced by sarsparilla at 8:01 PM BST
Updated: Monday, 6 October 2003 8:28 PM BST
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Sunday, 5 October 2003

Things I wish I'd not said

(inspired by Looby's list of things he wished he *had* said, here are this month's things I wish I hadn't)

1.) (Being chatted up by gorgeous woman:)
GW: "I remember you, you have really long legs and you dance. Been dancing lately?"
Me: "Yes."
GW: "One syllable answers. Not good."
Me: "Oh."

2.) "The Chapman brothers might be as good as Goya one day. [...] Oh okay, alright, yes, you're right they're talentless and disgusting then. [...] Yeah, they're so over."

3.) "I liked Don Alfonso. I thought he had morals."

4.) (to a Trinidadian friend) "I've decided Trinidadian women are all high maintenance. Don't you agree?"

5.) (to people I don't really know, who had told me Alex Parks had won Fame Academy) "You fucking bastards."

6.) "okay, I'll take the cats."

7.) "I've been a c@#t all summer"

8.) "Your mate over there, has she got some sort of fucking problem? Miserable cow. [...] Oh, your Best Mate? Oh. No, no, she's lovely. Really."

9.) (on being asked if I'd done any dusting at all this summer) "Are you trying to feel fucking superior or something?"

10.) "When are you going to move out?"

11.) (talking to someone I manage about a senior manager) "FFS, stupid bitch. What's the difference? Premenstrual old hag."
(How do you spell m-i-s-j-u-d-g-e-d, again?)

This page graced by sarsparilla at 8:47 PM BST
Updated: Monday, 6 October 2003 8:46 PM BST
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Moral: don't blog drunk.

Sleepwatch: 11 [desperate, sweaty, gasping, dehydrated, twisting] hours.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 4:32 PM BST
Updated: Monday, 6 October 2003 10:31 PM BST
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shocking email indiscretion

Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Shampoo on channel 5

I would normally be polite and circumspect about these things, but tonight I got home to unexpected email from people I think are ace, but loopy. An admirable place to be. I can only subscribe to mild dislocation from reality, myself. (shyah! right!) Here's the famed Lettuce's recommendations for an awful/worthy blog:
"Before I look at those, I think you should see this. It is thoroughly bad, so naturally I thought of you. URL deleted for being too serious and worthy
hell, you probably saw it years ago. Never mind. I have to blame this on you, I was very deliberately avoiding the whole blog thing until I became a casual reader of yours (not too sure about the beige/poo combo by the way) (Gotta agree with you there!) and was going to send you one I came across at the weekend - was googling for something and found this really well written diary which reminded me of you and my mate Dave. I also found a reference to myself in it which was just a little freaky. So, I was going to send it to you both, but it was mostly about football so I thought you'd get pissed off, being the only person I know who has attempted to confiscate a football by neatly drop kicking it onto an elevated railway line."
Well, I think that's fully deserved criticism, particularly about the poo, which I welcome back onto the front page. And I'm sure I didn't mean to drop kick the football onto the main line at Elephant and Castle.
Here's what DerbyshireDeviant said:
"[I] was also been a cunt during the summer all part and parcel of been memebers of the cunt club and if you've got to be a cunt you've got to be a cunt and thats all there is to it.HOORAY FOR CUNTS"
Now I know why I'm so messed up. Rah for strange friends!

This page graced by sarsparilla at 1:02 AM BST
Updated: Sunday, 5 October 2003 8:17 PM BST
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Saturday, 4 October 2003

Pop Quiz of the Damned

Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Moira Jane's Cafe

Had bizarre zombie-infested nightmares, and woke up to find a cat staring at me.
The zombies were after me because I didn't know enough French, German or Physics, and right before they munched my face, they were going to take all my qualifications away. Thanks christ Vic knew some Physics, or I'd never have survived the test.
I haven't studied French, Physics or German since I was sixteen. But I've had nightmares where everything goes wrong and I lose my degree because I haven't studied them hard enough before. Perhaps at some deep level of my id, I retain some basic, chthonic knowledge that I haven't done any French, German or Physics homework for sixteen years. This, surely, could not go unpunished.

Another question solved: who hugs you awake from a nightmare? The droolingcat does. Awww.

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Divorce Me 1

Mood:  vegas lucky
Now Playing: Definition of Sound

So we discussed who gets the cats. And it's me! Just like that. Really surprised me. Last year, the ex-DH spent sixteen hundred pounds on dialysis for sickgrumpycat (even my cats have pseudonyms), when I wanted her put down.
And, that, ladeezangennulmen, is how I qualified as primary cat-carer. Spose while junking one prior attachment, you can junk em all.

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Friday, 3 October 2003

avoidance tactics

Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: giggling neighbours. Cripes, no music listed on here for a full week!

Crikey. All I did was post a link to a babelfishtwisted French version of the front page. Out of boredom. Bastards. You stuffed up my pretty pictures now. 260 page views. Remind me never to mark something 'Private' again.

I fully intended to go to my |genericjob| today, it would get me out of the house and give me something to conversationalise with my New Best Friends at the opera tomorrow, it would liven up my sad boring life (illustration: I spent last night piddling my pants laughing at all of Eurotrash's archived posts), and the exhaustion that |genericjob| usually induces would mean I got enough sleep tonight. (see, if I'm going out with crowds of lesbians on Saturday, the chances of me staying up till 5am Friday night, drinking myself stupid and then looking like Peggy Mitchell on a bad day are increased tenfold. My avoidance tactics are so predictable they've actually become repetitious.)
Plus, |genericwankercolleagues| might actually have been grateful.
I had at least attempted to prove my independence and sanity by walking to the corner shop for some tuna, last night (first time out of the house since Sunday), and felt distinctly unwell. It didn't help that it's Freshers week at QMW, so everybody else in the shop has New Funky Jeans, New Funky Trainers, New Funky Backpack, and makes desperately friendly eye contact for just that little bit too long. Always peps you up to wander, snot-nosed and stringy-haired into an impromptu episode of Dawsons Creek. I tried not to linger by the Pot Noodle, for fear of being sucked into an undergraduate puppy-eyed vortex. Bad enough the first time round.
So I did intend to go and work. The intention was about all that was left. I admit now that it was a bad idea to get pissed in the bath at midnight, not do any of the reading I need, piss about laughing at udate on MSN till about 2am, or to sit up playing with cats who kept fighting over bed-hogging cat-puddle formations till 3am.
The alarm went off at 4.30, ready for me to spring into the required reading. Predictable response.
Woke up again at 8am, which is the time I'm supposed to be pulling the car into the gates at |genericjob| and hastily rang in, to do the crappy 'weak as a flea' voice, not really assisted by my bloody phone zoning in and out of its near-death trance-like state. Causing me to yell in time honoured lusty fashion "can you hear me now?"
Oh well. They thanked me. I got guilts for a full ten seconds till I realised now I need a doctor's cert.

Sleepwatch: 6 hours

This page graced by sarsparilla at 9:03 AM BST
Updated: Friday, 3 October 2003 9:15 AM BST
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Thursday, 2 October 2003

Maintenant je suis un lapin malheureux

Mood:  suave
Now Playing: Not Radiohead, for sure

Private Blog for Pandy Pears.

Yidaho fried her kitten. I call that mean-spirited. Ickle puddy.

I weigh: 68.5kg.
An entire tub of Ben and Jerry's and all the fried food / custard / biscuits I can fit down the hatch = only 0.1 kg of pud. I think I inadvertently Atkinised it. Gah.

Quelle horreur! Pacman fait le sexe avec sa soeur!

This page graced by sarsparilla at 3:31 PM BST
Updated: Thursday, 2 October 2003 7:09 PM BST
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Vanessa/Female/31-35. Lives in United Kingdom/London/East London/Bow, speaks English and German. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection. And likes Literature / Movies/Food / Eating / Drinking.
This is my blogchalk:
United Kingdom, London, East London, Bow, English, German, Vanessa, Female, 31-35, Literature / Movies, Food / Eating / Drinking.

Read THIS blog:

<< # Gay Brits ? >>

Rate Me on!
the best pretty good okay pretty bad the worst help?

See the books I've read on my Bookshelf at

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Political Jargon Bingo

Now Playing: freeview channel 45

I sublimate my desires by watching the Labour Party Conference (freeview channel 45! wa-heyyyy), and playing political jargon bingo. I couldn't in all honesty recommend it, but the nightmares that follow are exciting.

Card 1:
basic legal right
democratic society
justice in an unjust world
the 21st century
shoulder to shoulder

Card 2:
full defence counsel
settle for nothing less
innocent people
as it is, not as it was seen

Card 3:
freedom of choice
18 years of Tory rule
succeeded for years
sexing up

Card 4:
the Euro does not need sexing up for me
no matter what you think of Margaret Thatcher
aims of equality and opportunity
we must be realistic
not just in the UK, not just in Europe

Card 5:
er, er, er
could everyone sit down for the moment
conference I invite you to consider
i fear disastrous consequences for the whole world

Card 6:
lift three hundred million people out of poverty
it was great ....... to hear ....... that
this is crucial
getting ready and getting organised
the US would not concede

Card 7:
outward looking internationalism
UK must bear some of the blame
the courage to choose
reformed more deeply
this is a crunch time

Favourite part so far: The super-swish stylised bigscreen video speech (ie, no big hitters could be bothered to be present in person) to memorialise Michael Foot.
Camera 2 cuts to the ever less than photogenic Foot, and the old duffer isn't watching, he's intently scratching his arse.
That's what I call spin.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 2:27 AM BST
Updated: Thursday, 2 October 2003 6:24 PM BST
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Wednesday, 1 October 2003

Mission Statement

Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Late night radio phone-in

I like smelly food;
I always want a kebab after a night on the piss;
When someone tells me a problem, I try to think of a solution instead of just sympathising;
I'm pushy, and I think what I think is the right thing to think (actually, that's just as female as male, innit?);
I find irrelevant debates good fun;
I assume housewives need to escape from their lives;
Find it quite awkward to talk about girly emotional stuff;
I shudder at the pity-me culture that allows people to do what the hell they like (one person I know shagged around her fiance, married him anyway, wouldn't take her meds, spent 20 hours a day online, became totally messed in the head, lived a totally self-centred self-obsessed life whilst ignoring husband, then shagged around some more. When he finally wised up and dumped her, it was all testament to how Truly Brave A Poppet She Is. Made me want to puke.)
(Yep, there'll be no more Pity Me posts on this, Your Daily Charlatan's Blog. Thank fuck for that.)
I really don't care what other people think (PMT apart, though);
No matter how voyeuristic anyone reading this feels, I'm never going to blog the stuff that's really important;
I pick the scabs on my scalp;
There's fifty-seven varieties of ageing curry sauce in my fridge. And an onion;
I love driving, and when you're in my car, then everyone behind is a wanker, and everyone in front is a fool;
I judge people on how they look. Always;
Doing the washing seems unnecessary until the basket is more than full:
Actually, when I lived in Balham, I used to chuck my dirty washing in the spare room and buy more clothes rather than go to the launderette down the street. Eventually, even when I threw the clothes out, the room smelt too much to let out to any lodger with a human physiognomy, and I moved out, leaving the rest of the dirty laundry where it was;
I make the first move (well, unless I really really fancy someone, then I'll be all girly and terrified);
I don't want kids or a marriage or a house with a garden - a brilliant record collection is far superior;
Speaking of which, my record collection is sorted by musical style and era. I look forward to the day when I'm so bored I sort by musical influence;
I own three hi-fis, four walkmans, three TV sets, two videos, one dvd player and three computers. This does not seem an unduly large amount;
I can't be fucked opening letters if they don't look interesting;
I luuuurve a good action movie;
Phone conversations should be short, and communicate information;
I worry what beer is acceptable to drink in the pub;
If I try keeping plants, they die;
Skirts are for girls;
Going out for a few jars means I won't be back till 5am tomorrow;
I can be very very very scary if I want to be. I tend not to want to be, but knowing that makes you more confident than most girls;
I eat my steak blue.

This was originally going to be called 'Things About Me That Seem Blokeish'**, till lemonpillows messaged me on MSN and said it sounded more like a mission statement.

**That probably just reveals how little lesbians actually know about blokes....

This page graced by sarsparilla at 10:51 PM BST
Updated: Thursday, 2 October 2003 3:16 PM BST
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