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Sarsparilla Vanilla — Profile

Name:  Sarsparilla

Location:  London UK
Birthday:  22 July, 1921


I write too much.
I have four blogs. I was nominated as the biggest comment whore on Bitchfest. I liked being nominated, cos I was a comments whore.
I read a lot. I'm just emerging from a five month boycott of alcohol and music. (Nov archives)
I'm fairly obsessive about movies. My favourite movie at the moment is Amores Perros.
I'm also a lesbian. Doesn't that make me part of a hyper exclusive lesbo-blogger's secret clique? No? Oh go on, then, I'll still be a lesbian anyway.

I live in a beigeious basement flat in Sarf East London, near Penge, and near where I work. (Feb archives)
I own a flat in East London, that I'm trying to sell, but despite it being gorgeous and in an area that looks like Bloomsbury, nobody wants to buy it. (advert)
In the meantime, all my books, pictures, music, vids, clothes and everything are stuck in a storage unit in Hackney. So far, I've not needed to go open the unit to get anything, which makes me question why I need it.

The people I mention on the blog:
Malice: my fickle hot water heater.
Pink Nasty: my ugly secondhand sofa.
Duch: best mate, highly strung, spends her time juggling sugar daddies and cradle snatchees, would do anything for anyone, struggling writer, temp works in Harley Street, and let me do her job for a while last summer. (Aug archives)
jatb: oldest mate. Yeah, she's 87 next birthday. Scrubs up well for an old girl. She had a blog, but gave it up. We went to middle school, senior school and uni together. Lives in NW London and re-inks the grouting on her bathroom tiles for fun, inbetween marathon training, swimming and cycling. Has the largest book collection of anyone I know who didn't do a lit degree.
fmc: okay, she's another oldest mate. Me and jatb and fmc went to school together aged 11. And they no longer speak, which gives me free rein to stir things up enormously. Not really. Is always going on about how shit London is, so I guess it's logical that she's left London and gone to live with a Nice Chap in Swansea. She'll be back...
Harv: lives in Hamburg with his boyf, where he does terribly corporate things. Makes me take spy photos of Uncle Ben's rice, then never tells me why.
Toulouse: lives in Paris, where he writes successful tomes on French architecture, tries to be an opera buff, while simultaneously holding onto the the largest eighties record colleciton I've ever seen, and hangs about in the Marais, giving come hither looks. He's the only person whose word I'd take as final on any subject, but god help me if he ever found that out. We met at uni. Childhood friend of Tybalt. His ex is Coriander.
Melons: old uni friend, and the best at literary bullshitting without even having read the novel. Long ago ex of Toulouse, landlady of Tybalt, cousin of AFC Winbledon legend Lettuce.
Yidaho: bonkers net obsessive with whom I go to weirdo internet meets and go dancing. If we're out on the razz, with alarming regularity you can find us pissing ourselves with laughter at some joke that's not even funny in Balans at 3am. See you there, and mine's a woo woo. Lives in Surrey, but still, we forgive her for that. Owner of two blogs to date.
Tess / Jaynair: ohhhh, they're in lurve, it's so sweeeeet. Ickle puppies in fields full of buttercups. Blog owners, also, I know these two from trying to pick both of them up on the internet (they weren't interested). Tess lives in Belfast, Jaynair lives in York. You can see a certain tension in that.
Martin / Dave / Looby / Janice / Pete Connolly / Tris / N/C: people I talk crap to on e-mail a lot, and once a month get pissed with. And talk more crap to. Some of them have blogs now. Quelle surprise.
Tybalt: ex-girlfriend who is the bane of my existence because she seems to be preventing my flat in E3 from selling properly. Ran off to Australia for three months on my money, made me wait eternally for her to come back, dumped me within six day's flat, then gave out to all my mates that it was my fault. I harbour some resentment from this experience.
Derby / Krystal: ex-colleagues who disappear on Buddhist retreats then come back and give me Zen advice on my life. Which always works, incidentally. Derby left London to go live in Buxton and roam the Pennines dangerously. Krystal lives just down the road from my SE London flat, and makes me Greek smorgasbords or lets me do my washing at frequent intervals.
Sue, aka Suprnovr: my sister. Lives in Cambridge with Circe, and puts up with me turning up three hours late whenever she visits London. Sue doesn't have sound on her computer, so if I get annoyed with her, I do an audio blog. hehe.
Rose Maddur, aka Minsk: Swedish mate from uni - ex-photographer, polymath who always had the best bod in the sauna.
Frosty, Diminutive, HippyBoss and Peachykeenyboy: all people I work with. I try not to mention work ever on the blog, but I generally fail if nothing much is happening anywhere else.
Cheesy: ex-ex girlf. Whom I barely ever mention.
BogusLandlady: my gorgeous lovely landlady, who is absolutely the nicest most sorted landlady I've ever had. She's renting her flat to me while I can't stand to stay on in the one I'm selling. But I thought she was bogus, at first, cos I couldn't believe her flat really existed. She telleth the truth - but she did put Pink Nasty in the flat, She swears I can burn the thing, but I haven't tested her on it yet.
Lemonpillows / Sarah / Creepy Lesbo: other lezza bloggers whom I don't know in the slightest but frequently end up emailing my sexual fantasies to. Lemonpillows is, of course, as you all know, THE sexiest lesbian blogger in the universe,, Never been nominated for any awards because she's just too good for them. She's my hero *sigh* Er, yeah.
Clytemnestra: she gets to post here occasionally. But not often.
Byron: someone I shagged when I was 17.
Brian / Bryony: Various people I shagged after that point - Malcolm, Andrew, Jo, Jeff, Andy, Cheesy, Robin, Tybalt, Various Completely Forgettable Strangers. But definitely not the people I knew as a teenager who really were called Brian and Bryony. I just robbed their identity, not their innocence.

Blogs: I read all the blogs I link to. Yeah, I'm that sad. I do read real fast, though.
I prefer caustic comments to slurping sucky up comments.
I hate bloggers who think the internetweb is there for to be loved. It's there for porn and for libel. We are not happy campers.
I reserve the right to be snarky on your blog comments. God knows, someone has to tell the truth occasionally.
I don't give a shit if you don't like me. Who are you, anyway?

Sense of purpose:
I am writing this blog for no reason, and on July 22 2004, it will disappear.


Well, apart from standing on street corners trying to supplement my measly salary, which does take up a lot of time (popular as I am), I enjoy breeding ferrets, collecting fungi samples and skipping through cornfields in my dainty pink tutu.
Oh do fuck off, none of this is interesting.

Blog Created:  Sunday, 20 July 2003
Last Updated:  Friday, 31 December 2004 - 12:01 AM GMT
Blog Entries:  480

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