Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 10:04 AM BST

Same thing happened to me this week, muscle pains, shaking, and the obligatory visit to the toilet every 30 minutes, I didn't have any fever though. After 2 nights and 1 day it went away without taking any pills. The best thing is to sleep it off, relax, drink a cup of tea with honey and don't stress yourself (forget about your worries, pull out the telephonecord), anyway I wish you a speedy recovery.
Tom

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 12:35 PM BST

Good idea - < goes to put honey into tea >

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 1:10 PM BST

Who's a blog addict?? Blogging with a fever! You top all the hardy British explorers - Scott, Malory nothing on you:-) Get well soon!

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 7:37 PM BST

Even my addled brain can see I need more nutrients to survive, and I have to do something to keep awake while the vitamins are boiling away in the pan. (chickensoup is disgusting when you can't taste anything.) Point taken, though, it does seem even madder than usual.

Whappen to web-frog? Did you break it for him?

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 8:10 PM BST

no - riddip! web frog is down with the flu in sympathy, (undergoing technical difficulties) Will be back after rest and recuperation

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 8:19 PM BST

I thought you might have whacked him upside the head with it. Glad to hear my need for amusing stories about penises will soon be sated.

(oh dear, I'm babbling)

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 8:45 PM BST

LOL@Katharine Hepburn on speed - I can't think of KH without remembering the French & Saunders 'Oscars' sketch from too many years ago. Hope you're feeling better soon. I may join you in shaking through the evening - 100 Scariest Moments is due to start in twenty minutes on C4 and I am all alone. Eek!

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 9:00 PM BST

Seriously - at 1am I was trying to check the instructions on a bottle of Night Nurse to see how much more I could take, but I couldn't get my hand to shake any less than 1 inch variation. Ended up just stuffing a load more in my gob, without reading it.

100 scariest moments, eh? Might watch that if I can find a comfy blanky.

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 9:46 PM BST

What you need is a really hot toddy. Recipe as follows........
Take a big pot mug and stick a blob of whisky in it, then put a small (very small) amount of piping hot water. Shove some more whisky in, then get a teaspoonful of honey, more whisky then follows. Whack in a spray of Worcestershire sauce followed by a top up of whisky. Take a cherry (that has been gently marinating in whisky) and plop into the mixture. If there is any space left in the mug - top right up with the whisky - to the very, very top.

Before you stick the stopper back in the bottle, best take a quick medicinal swig - just for good luck.

Retire to bed and drink - coma kicks in, by the time you come round the flu will have gone.... it works for me!

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 10:04 PM BST

That's hilarious! You mean just drink a pint of whisky with a cherry and some heated ice, really!

I found sleeping for 24 hours made me feel lots better. I have some gin and some Icelandic schnapps in the fridge, but never keep whiskey in the house, for reasons detailed here.

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 10:49 PM BST

Alternatively have some flat lemondae in the house and drink it hot. I find microwaves suitable for this form of heating. This may help the sore throat and stop you feeling so unwell. However, it may not - no legal action please!

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 11:01 PM BST

Oh, NC!

Is that N?

Cool!

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 11:14 PM BST

I'm obviously a naive innocent who's never really tried to poison herself in truly creative ways, unlike the freakydeeks who comment on my blog.

Microwaved lemo??????!!!!

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 11:19 PM BST

< slaps forehead hard >

Doh!

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 11:44 PM BST

Yay I am a freakydeek!

However microwaved lemonade does work sometimes. Takes a few sips to get used to the taste of hot slightly sparkling lemon flavoured stuff. I have also found that an ice lolly made by Iceland (pikey... yes), called Jelly Lolly's are fantastically fallic. If you have strawberry flavoured ones, and suck the end they become quite flaccid and incredibly like an un excited penis. Which was a joy in my state of upset tummy and on-set of tonsillitus (bless children). I played with it for an extraordinary length of time before biting the end off!

Saturday, 25 October 2003 - 11:57 PM BST

You are scary lady.

I am taking your comments to my lawyers, pronto.

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 12:38 AM BST

Don't listen to those scary witches.. what you need is half an onion and three tablespoons of brown sugar. Place onion in a glass (or orange-stained plastic, if you're pikey-inclined) bowl, sliced-side down, sprinkle with brown sugar, cover with clingfilm (or place unclean cat's saucer on top), open bottle of red and watch contents of glass bowl 'ferment' whilst working way down bottle. Repeat until bottle is empty. Tip contents of glass bowl in bin (inside the empty pizza box on the doorstep). Huzzah!

Didn't watch 100 pants-stain moments. Was it good?

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 1:05 AM BST

No, it was shite - they decided to show 50 clever clever arty moments from arty clever clever scary things - not even just from films, interspersed with too much Adam and Joe.

However, after that I watched a re-run of I Know What You Did Last Summer, during which I mostly lusted after the hairs on Sarah Michelle Gellar's forearms, or abstractly wondering what it looks like when she and Freddie Prinze have sex, or stared distractedly at Jennifer Love Hewitt's huge bazookas... till the cat started attacking me from nowhere in the middle of the scariest scenes, half frightening me to death.

When the hell is Hallowe'en, anyway?

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 1:26 AM BST

Wow, didn't know SMG was in "I Know What You Did...", it was that long ago I watched it. Ahh, so I'd have been safe to watch then, damn. I even opened a courage-boosting bottle of plonk, but still wimped out. I blame the cats doing their freakish 'stare-at-nothing' thing.

Hallowe'en is four days after the the bin-bag-donning kids start knocking on your door, usually.

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 2:06 AM BST

It's nowhere near Guy Fawkes day, yet the gunpowder explosion sounds are at approximately five minute intervals here in E3, already. I doubt I'd be able to hear a doorbell with that racket going on.

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 9:22 AM BST

Which law am I alleged to have contravened?

Am I being libellous?
Contradictory to Advertising Laws?
Sexist?
Racist?

Impressed that my/our blog is being submitted to another solicitor though, makes it just that bit more special ??

Does that mean that you will be scouring other sites for any material contained in them that may be considered offensive? Good Luck.

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 11:17 AM GMT

Are you sure it's not just the DTs?

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 11:26 AM GMT

Cheeky bloody bugger.

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 11:27 AM GMT

Errr, I dunno. Everyone else is threatening to sue your blog, I just wanted to be in on the party.... :-O

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 11:44 AM GMT

oh! Thats alright then.

Welcome on the bandwagon Vanessa :)

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 11:04 AM GMT

Now I have to troll football newsgroups, right?

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 11:27 AM GMT

Yup whilst complaining about the inequality of disability, and constantly reminding people that you are disabled and you have a son on a tv reality show.

Got that?
Good....
Off you go!

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 12:06 PM GMT

Do I have to 'swing' also?

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 12:31 PM GMT

Forgot about that.

You should be in full car key swapping/partner swapping mode whilst you troll Newgroups/Forums infact any medium.

Remember to limp or speak with a defect (something that would stereotypically label you as disabled) make extreme unfounded comments and have many user names and claim that they are your extended family and that you have no knowledge of them being in your house - but then again you don't look over their shoulder ALL the time.

Finally get yourself on the Salon today at 2pm.

Got those instructions?

Go do your thing!

Sunday, 26 October 2003 - 5:49 PM GMT

LOL @ you two!