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Nobody Has to Know XI
Silence

by Aries

May 2005

Disclaimer: Mulder, Krycek and Scully all belong to 1013. I torment them for fun, not profit.

There are many silences.

There’s the peaceful silence that descends on a house when all the kids have gone to sleep. The lonely silence in a cemetery. The uncomfortable silence on a blind date...sweet silence, understanding silence, shocked silence...

So many silences filled Alex’s bedroom as the two men stood almost motionless, each trying to come to terms with the horror of Alex’s childhood. Grievous and confusing. Pained and apologetic.

Sable lashes lifted, and vacant, green eyes stared out into the sparkling blue afternoon sky. Still gently held in the warmth of Fox’s arms, Alex took a trembling breath.

"Go back and lie down, Fox. You need to rest at least for today."

Fox’s first reaction was to refuse. To stay put and give Alex all the comfort he could. But there was something else in him that insisted he do as he was asked, and he did. Slowly, he released his hold on the other man and made his way over to the bed. Carefully, he slid up onto the mattress and watched as Alex continued to stare out the window. The other man’s efforts to pull himself together showed in everything from his tense posture to his clenching jaw.

When he’d succeeded to his satisfaction, Alex turned around and faced the man who still watched him warily.

"You look tired. You should take a nap."

"What about you?" Fox asked softly.

"I’m okay," Alex promised in a voice equally as soft. When Fox continued to stare, he walked toward the bed and smoothed the sheet around the older man. His fingers passed over Fox’s hair, and Fox could feel them trembling in that brief contact. "I’ll be in the living room if you need anything."

Fox wanted to ask him to stay. He wanted to talk more, but something in him sensed that Alex had talked enough for now. He needed time and he needed space, and Fox let him have it without another word. He settled down against the pillows, getting an approving nod from Alex, and then the younger man left the room quietly, leaving the door cracked a bit as he exited.

Fox closed his eyes and moaned as his mind immediately began to review the things Alex had said to him.

What kind of a fucking bastard made his child do the vile things that Spender had made Alex do? There was evil in the world; pure, unadulterated evil, he’d always known it. He’d seen it, felt it. But Alex had lived with it for most of his life. It made his control issues and his inability to verbally express love more than understandable. It made Fox want to rip that decrepit old cigarette smoking son of a bitch in two.

It made him want to go out there and take Alex in his arms. Hold him and kiss him and do what he could to make all the pain, the memories disappear. That’s what a person did when the one he loved was hurting. Ordinary people did that.

No one could ever accuse them of being ordinary.

Alex sat in the quiet of the living room, staring at nothing in particular.

He’d done it. He’d told Fox what he never thought he’d tell a living soul.

Now what?

Fox had seemed so understanding, so sympathetic. But where did they go from here?

Blindly, Alex fumbled for the CD remote and turned the player on. Turning the volume down as low as it would go, he closed his eyes.

Fox awoke with a start, staring around the dark room. He swallowed breath after hard breath, telling himself that he was in Alex’s apartment, in Alex’s bed; not in the back room of The Boardroom. Convinced of that, he sat quietly, listening for any sound from the living room. Hearing nothing, he slid out of bed with a slight wince and walked to the door. There was pale light on the other side, and the barely audible strains of Tchaikovsky reached his ears. He pulled the door open and set one foot over the threshold before coming to an abrupt halt. Turning around, he retreated back into the bedroom.

Alex hovered on the outer edges of sleep but never quite reached it. The music echoed softly in his head, and his muscles slowly relaxed.

It’d been a long, long couple of days, and he didn’t know how tense he really was until he allowed his tightly wound body to rest.

His heart rate was slowing, his respiration evening out, his mind going mercifully blank.

It was a good place. He wouldn’t mind staying a while.

The feeling that he wasn’t alone infiltrated the comforting haze that had settled over him, and his lashes lifted slowly. His vision focused almost immediately on Fox, standing by the chair, watching him. He inhaled deeply, and his cock gave a hard jerk as his gaze swept over the man dressed in nothing more than one of the black thongs that Alex had bought for him, and his collar.

Fox hesitated for a moment then moved forward and slowly sank to his knees in front of Alex. The younger man watched, speechless as Fox moved between his parted knees and tentatively rubbed the sides of his thighs.

"Were you asleep?"

"No." The word came out in a hoarse whisper. "Just...resting." He didn’t know what else to say. His body reacted so strongly to the nearly naked presence, it was next to impossible for him to concentrate on anything else.

"I didn’t thank you."

Alex managed to focus his eyes on Fox’s.

"For last night," Fox explained softly. "You’re always there to pull my ass out of the fire, even when I don’t deserve you to."

"Don’t think that you deserved for Shane to do that to you."

"I behaved like a child, rebelling when I couldn’t have what I wanted."

"I hurt you," Alex reasoned, reaching out to stroke the older man’s hair. "You weren’t thinking clearly. Shane wouldn’t have been able to take advantage of you if you had been."

"I didn’t want him," Fox promised. "I could never... give myself to him." Glistening eyes stared intently at Alex, willing him to understand. "We might never have laid eyes on each other again, Alex, and it wouldn’t have mattered. "I’d only ever belong to you."

Alex took a long breath, held it then let it out slowly. And a note of resolve resonated in his voice as he spoke.

"It isn’t fair to you. You deserve better than this. You..."

Fox knew that tone. He knew exactly where Alex would be taking the conversation, and fear crept into his voice as he spoke.

"No. No, Alex. Please. Don’t. I...I don’t...don’t ask me to leave."

Alex lowered his head. "It’s the best thing for you."

"It’s not," Fox insisted softly. "The best thing for me is to be with you."

"I’ve got so much baggage, Fox," Alex said misery lacing his tone. "More than you could have ever guessed. God knows how long it’s going to take me to sort it all out, and I don’t have the right to ask you to wait around."

"I want to help," Fox croaked. "Anything I can do to help you, I’ll do."

Alex kept his gaze on his hands, folded tightly in his lap. "Even if it means spending all your spare time sitting at my feet, mostly naked and doing everything I say?"

"Yes, Alex."

Alex shook his head.

"It’s not right. I can’t use you like that. If I do, I’ll be no better than Shane."

"You can’t compare the two," Fox said, stroking Alex’s thigh. "You wouldn’t be using me. You’d be accepting the help of the man who loves you."

Alex closed his eyes and pressed his lips together, and Fox’s heart sank.

"I’m sorry. I...I didn’t mean to...to... It’s okay, Alex, really. I understand that you can’t return my feelings. It’s all right. I’m fine, I swear."

"You shouldn’t be," Alex rasped. "You deserve better. So much better."

"No," Fox gasped. Alex, please."

"I’m not trying to get rid of you," Alex promised. "I’m not cutting off contact with you. We can talk on the phone and see each other on the weekends. I just...I don’t think you staying with me is the best thing right now."

"For who?"

Alex forced himself to look up and into muddy brown eyes.

"You. You, Fox."

"Not me. It will not be good for me. I told you that. Why can’t you believe it?"

"Because I don’t think you know what’s good for you right now. All you can think about is what I’ve told you, and it’s affecting your decision making."

"No, it isn’t," Fox argued, beginning to get angry. "I’m a big boy, and I can well understand the difference between love and sympathy." He knew what he just said, and he couldn’t find it within himself to be sorry for it this time.

Closing his eyes, Alex ran his fingers through his hair. Fox waited a good long time for him to say something. When he didn’t, the older man gently squeezed his knee.

"Alex?"

Still, he said nothing. Fox waited a while longer, then he rose slowly to his feet.

"Fine, I...I guess I’ll go get dressed...then I’ll go."

Alex looked up quickly and finally found his voice.

"Fox, I...I didn’t mean for you to...you’re hurt. Let me take care of you."

"Why?" Fox asked, defeat and profound sadness edging his tone. "You’re hurt. You won’t let me take care of you."

He turned around and walked into the bedroom, leaving Alex staring after him and consumed with pain.

The sharp ring of the doorbell startled him. It took him until the next ring to get up, then he slowly trudged to the door.

C.J.’s smile fell away from his face as the door swung open, and the morose features of his friend greeted him.

"Shit. What now?"

When Alex didn’t answer, he began the third degree.

"Did you talk to him? Did you tell him what the hell’s been eating at you? You didn’t, did you? Jesus, Alex..."

"I told him," Alex mumbled then turned and walked away.

"And what?" C.J. followed the other man inside and closed the door. "You don’t look any better than you did. What happened?"

Alex said nothing.

"Where is he?"

"Bedroom."

"Is he asleep?"

"No. He’s changing."

"Into..."

"His clothes. He’s leaving."

"Leaving. Why the hell’s he leaving?"

Nothing.

"Ah, Christ." With that, C.J. whirled around and headed into the bedroom, where he found Fox buttoning his shirt.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Where’d you come from?" Fox asked, not looking up at the other man.

"I just got here. Now answer my question. Alex is out there with a face a mile long. Where are you going?"

"Home."

Why?"

"He wants me to."

"Did he tell you that?"

"Yes."

"I don’t believe it."

"He doesn’t want my help. He wants me to leave."

"Your help. Did he really tell you what his problem was?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And it’s horrible. It’s terrible, and I wanted to stay and comfort him and help him however I can. He doesn’t want me to."

C.J.’s eyes widened. "Is...is he all right? He’s not sick or anything, is he?"

"No."

"Jeez. You scared me for a minute. So, why doesn’t he want you to stay? Has he told you?"

"He says it isn’t fair to me."

"What isn’t fair?"

"That I should hang around indefinitely, doing whatever it took to help him over his problem, and he wouldn’t know when or even if he’d ever be able to return my feelings."

"Christ," C.J. whispered. "Fox...I have no idea what this horrible problem of Alex’s is, but I do know this...he does return your feelings."

Fox lifted his head and looked at the other man.

"He loves you," C.J. said matter of factly. "He can’t say it, he can’t even admit it to himself, but believe me, he does. You didn’t see the state he was in this last time you left him. He was a mess. And you didn’t see the rage in his eyes when he went to the Board Room to deal with Shane and his friends. Or the tenderness or the worry when he was taking care of you. Believe me, Fox; he loves you."

Fox sank heavily onto the bed and buried his fingers in his hair.

"You can have all that stuff without love. I think he cares a lot for me but...it doesn’t matter. He wants me to leave."

"Because he loves you, and he’s trying to be unselfish. Don’t go, Fox. You stay right here and fight for what you want...what you both want."

"What if you’re wrong?" Fox whispered.

"Me? Wrong? Not a chance in hell."

There was silence for a while, then Fox turned an apprehensive gaze up to C.J.’s face.

"You really think he loves me?"

"There’s not a doubt in my mind. The day’s gonna come, Fox, when he’s able to recognize and understand it, and he won’t be afraid. But he needs you. No matter how long the road might be, he needs you to be there to walk it with him."

"I agree with you, C.J.," Fox murmured. "It’s Alex who doesn’t see it that way."

"Put your foot down," C.J. encouraged. "You tell him you’re not going a damn place, and he’s just going to have to live with that."

"I don’t know," Fox whispered. "I don’t know how he’d react if I really asserted myself. Without going into too much detail, control is a very big issue with him...I don’t know what else to do but what he wants."

"But he doesn’t want this, Fox," C.J. insisted. "I know he doesn’t. He’ll be miserable as hell if you go. You will be too. Don’t do it. Please stay with him."

Alex heard the door to his bedroom swish open, and he fully expected Fox to come out with C.J. But only his friend walked into the living room.

Stopping in front of Alex, C.J. looked down at the seated man.

"Don’t fuck this one up, please?"

Alex lifted his eyes to C.J.’s and stared in silence. C.J. backed away slowly then turned and headed for the door.

"I’ll see you later."

And then he was gone.

Alex’s eyes went from the door to the hall.

What the hell did C.J. mean by that?

Why the hell didn’t you ask him

While he contemplated picking up the phone, his bedroom door opened, and Fox came out, fully clothed. But instead of moving toward the door, he walked over to where Alex sat. He hesitated a moment then carefully lowered himself to the sofa. He let a few moments of silence pass, then he spoke softly but with resolve.

"I’m not walking out on you. So, unless you’re prepared to throw me out bodily, get used to it."

"C.J. needs a good ass-kicking," Alex murmured, then he looked up at the other man. "What did he say to you?"

"He just helped me make up my mind to do what it was I wanted to do in the first place. I’m staying. And I’m going to help you through this."

"Fox." A whisper. A plea. Fox stood firm.

"No."

Alex closed his eyes and lowered his head.

Fox slid down to his knees in front of the disturbed man.

"...Would you like some breakfast? I can make you something." His submissive demeanor had returned.

"I’m not hungry," Alex murmured then lifted his gaze to Fox’s face. "You’re really not leaving."

Fox shook his head then lowered his eyes.

"No, Alex."

Slowly, Alex leaned forward until his head touched Fox’s. The two remained frozen in that position for several minutes before Alex sighed softly and bestowed a tender kiss on Fox’s forehead. He rose to his feet and held his hand out to the older man, pulling him up. With Fox’s hand enclosed in his, Alex moved into the kitchen and sat him in a chair.

From his seat, Fox watched Alex go to the refrigerator and remove the eggs and a carton of milk.

"But y...you said you weren’t hungry."

"I’m not, really. But maybe by the time I’m done cooking, I will be. And even if I’m not...what about you?"

"I’d have waited until you were hungry."

Alex drew his lower lip into his mouth and paused for a moment before beginning to crack the eggs into a bowl.

"Alex, can I...would you let me do the cooking?" Fox asked from his seat.

"No," Alex said gently. "You stay put...how do you feel?"

"I’m okay. Sore, but that’s all. Perfectly capable of doing the cooking or...or anything else you’d like."

Alex set the milk down and walked over to the table. Pulling up a chair, he sat in front of the other man.

"You’re not my slave, Fox. I don’t expect you to wear any of the stuff I’d bought. No thongs, no collar. I don’t expect you to be at my beck and call. You don’t have to cook for me or serve my meals or...you know...make yourself available to me..."

"What if I want to?" Fox asked quietly, lifting his eyes to Alex’s.

"You had...asked me about having a more equal relationship."

"I was just curious to know how you would feel about it. It didn’t mean that it was what I wanted. I might someday. Might. But I might not. I don’t know. What I do know is that right now I want to be what you need. Anything you need. I need to be. Please let me."

"Fox..."

"Don’t tell me it’s not fair. How can it not be fair to me if it’s what I need too?"

Alex had no answer for it.

"I loved doing things to please you. It made me feel good. Effective. If you want to be fair to me, don’t take that away. And don’t deny that at least for the foreseeable future, you need the security of being in control."

He would have to pick a psychologist to get involved with.

Alex lowered his head for a long minute, and when he lifted it, he looked Fox in the eye and gave the older man a sad trace of a smile.

"You are hotter than hell in that stuff I bought you."

Fox returned the smile.

"What would you like me to put on?"

"Whatever you’re most comfortable wearing. You know, until all the soreness goes away."

Fox nodded and rose from his seat, followed by Alex. He turned and got only a few steps away before Alex called softly to him. He turned back and stopped a scant few inches from the other man.

Alex gently slipped an arm around Fox’s waist and pulled his lover against him. Cupping Fox’s cheek with his palm, he brushed their lips together before settling in for a sweet and all too brief kiss. When Alex pulled away, Fox dropped his head to the younger man’s shoulder, rubbing his cheek against it before pulling out of his loosened embrace and leaving the kitchen. Alex took a deep, steadying breath then turned to tend to breakfast.

"You’ve reached Fox Mulder. Leave a message."

"Dammit."

Scully disconnected and dropped the phone down on her sofa. She’d been calling Mulder all weekend and had yet to reach him. Even the two trips to his apartment were fruitless.

Where the hell had he gone?

Though she was still plenty worried, suspicion was starting to creep in, and she just couldn’t stop herself from wondering if Alex Krycek had anything to do with her partner’s disappearance.

"They’re done," she told herself. "They’re done. There’s gotta be something else."

Then her thoughts went to that Shane character who had been so interested in Mulder a couple of days ago.

What if they’d hooked up? It was possible. Mulder had been missing Krycek, and he could very well have been vulnerable to a charming, good looking man, which Shane had certainly been.

"God, would he?"

With a man he didn’t know?

Why not? If he could sleep with Alex Krycek, he could sleep with anybody.

Okay. But spend the weekend with him?

The worry returned.

Picking up her phone and keys, she quickly left her apartment.

Fox set his fork down and looked up at Alex. The younger man had finished his breakfast minutes before and had been sitting quietly, watching him. Amber-flecked eyes rose to meet emerald green, and Fox trembled in the intensity of his lover’s stare.

"It was good," he said, his voice rasping softly. "Would you like me to clean up?"

"....No."

Fox waited.

Alex reached across the table and slipped his index finger under Fox’s hand. The other man lightly curled his fingers around it and rose to his feet after Alex, following the other man out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. There, Alex piled the pillows up on the still unmade bed and propped himself against them. He pulled Fox down, directing the other man to straddle his hips.

Sitting astride his lover, Fox kept his eyes averted as Alex reached up and traced the top line of his collar.

"I need you to do something for me."

Fox lifted his eyes to Alex’s.

"Anything."

"Don’t immerse yourself so deeply in this that you begin to lose yourself. You’re too special. I...like who you are," Alex murmured, stroking his hand down the older man’s bare chest.

Fox looked up through his lashes. "Even the part of me that doesn’t behave?"

"Even that part," Alex answered in a soft, sweet tone. His knuckles brushed over Fox’s awakening cock, nestled in the soft, velvety pouch of the thong he wore, and the other man emitted a small whimper. "Your stubbornness, your combativeness are part of who you are." Fox arched against Alex’s hand as he gently kneaded the growing bulge. "And I wouldn’t change any of it...any more than I’d change all those sexy little noises you make when I touch you."

Fox tilted his head back, and his eyes fluttered closed. It had been far too long since he’d had the other man’s hands on him, and he was drowning in need. Panting softly through parted lips, he rocked his hips back and forth, unconsciously asking for more.

Alex stared through heavy lashes, utterly overwhelmed by the stunning beauty of the man straddling him. The thought that he’d come very close to watching Fox walk out his door this morning twisted his insides, and he silently thanked C.J. for popping in just in time to meddle once again.

Fox let out a breathless moan as Alex squeezed him a bit harder, and he jerked against the younger man’s hand. It jarred Alex back to awareness, and he loosened his grip. Again stroking the other man gently, Alex fixed a smoky gaze on him.

"Not yet, baby. It’s been a while since we’ve been together. Let’s take our time and enjoy it, all right?"

Fox took two audible breaths before his eyes slitted open, and he nodded. When he spoke, his voice came out in a raspy whisper.

"Yes, Alex."

The man stacking chairs stopped and looked up as a band of bright light illuminated the club then disappeared. A well dressed redhead entered and walked slowly through the maze of tables, looking around. He watched her for a moment then spoke up, visibly startling her.

"What can I do for you?"

Scully looked in the man’s direction and stopped walking.

"I’m looking for someone."

The man straightened up and gave her a smile.

"Someone in particular, or will I do?"

"I’m looking for Shane," she said, ignoring the second part of his question.

"Shane."

"Yes. You know him?"

"’Course I do. But uh...Shane ain’t been around last couple of days."

"Do you know where he is?" Scully asked, dreading the answer.

The man chuckled. "Had his ass kicked good the other night."

"...And that’s funny?"

"He had it coming."

"You don’t sound like a fan."

"Gee, no?" The man shrugged. "Guy’s an asshole. He thinks he can get away with anything ‘cause he...sorry; you a friend of his?"

"No, I’m actually looking for a friend of mine who might possibly have been in his company over the last couple of days."

"What does your friend look like?"

"Tall. Good looking. Hazel eyes, medium brown hair, prominent nose..."

The man pointed to his face. "Sexy little mole about here? Mouth that looks like it was made to suck....uh...nice mouth?"

Scully shifted from one foot to the other. "Yeah, I...I guess so."

"He was the reason Shane got the shit beat out of him."

"I don’t understand." And she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

"Shane and two of his friends took him in the back for a little of his special brand of fun and..."

"What does that mean?" Scully interrupted.

"Like I said, Shane’s an asshole. He’s smooth, he’s good looking...well, he was before the other night. Anyway, because he was so good looking, he got more than his share of tail. But he uh...he plays hard if you get my meaning. He would have done a real number on your friend if it wasn’t that some guys saw them together and got the information back to his boyfriend."

"Whose boyfriend?"

"Your friend’s." He saw the confused frown turn to one of angry disbelief, and he smiled again. "Oops. Did I let you in on some big secret?"

"Apparently. This boyfriend. What’s he look like?"

The man moaned softly. "Tall with laser green eyes. Dark. Dangerous. Sexy as all hell."

Scully took a moment to compose herself and gather her thoughts.

"What happened?"

"Well, like I said, Shane and his cronies took your friend in the back, and a while later, the dark one showed up. He cut Shane’s three hundred pound guard down then went in after his man. He beat Shane and his friends down, bundled your friend up and took him out the back. Haven’t seen any of them since."

"Dammit. Was Mul...was my friend all right?"

The man shrugged. "I heard that Shane had been able to play with him a little bit before his boyfriend got here, but I don’t know how much damage he’d actually done."

"God. And you don’t know where they went?"

"No idea."

"These people. The ones who let the...boyfriend...know what was going on...do you know who any of them were?"

"One’s name was Lucas. He comes in here sometimes. That’s all I know."

"Lucas. Lucas...I don’t know that name. Can you describe any of them?"

"Lucas is blonde. Average height, blue eyes. One was tall and bald...buff...the other..."

"C.J."

"Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s his name. It rang a bell as soon as you said it."

"Thank you," Scully breathed, spinning around and heading quickly toward the door.

"Yeah, okay," the man called after the retreating woman. "Come back and see me sometime."

Blinking in the bright light of day, Scully practically ran to her car. Minutes later, she was pulling up in front of the club that C.J., Alex, and even Mulder had hung out at. She burst through the door and made a beeline for the bar.

"Is C.J. here?" she called out to the man who was in the middle of hanging some glasses.

"Not until later," the man said. "You wanna leave a message?"

"Where’s Alex?"

The man began to laugh. "Are you nuts? What makes you think I’d..."

Before he could finish, Scully shoved her badge in his face.

"Because you don’t want to have to explain to your boss why this place is crawling with federal agents tonight, do you?"

"No. No, I don’t. Uh..."

"His address," Scully demanded. "I know you must have it around here somewhere."

"I...I don’t...I’ll have to look for it."

"Then look for it."

Ten minutes later, clutching a slip of paper with Alex’s address on it, Scully tore out of the club and headed out in search of her partner.

Fox lay beneath Alex, drowning in bliss as his lover pushed into him at an increasingly frantic pace. His fingers dug into Alex shoulders, neck arched against the younger man’s demanding mouth. Each powerful thrust pulled a sharp gasp from him, and his cock ached for release. Before he could voice his need, Alex shoved a hand between them and wrapped it around the lengthy shaft. A gurgling cry made its way past his lips, and he tensed, squeezing Alex’s cock tightly.

"Mmmh. Ah, shit," Alex growled as Fox’s muscles contracted around him. "Yeah. Mmmmm, yeah. Again," he panted. "Do it again." He pumped his lover’s cock as he drove into the tightening passage, and in a blinding few seconds, one man came, followed by the other.

Alex collapsed on top of Fox with a long groan, and his cock fell out of its warm haven. He lay motionless until he felt the slow glide of Fox’s fingers through his hair. He lifted his head slightly and trained a weary, satisfied gaze on the other man. An equally satiated stare met his, and Fox gave him a sweet smile.

"I missed you," the older man whispered, and Alex returned the smile and reached out to caress his cheek.

"I missed you too. Please understand why I almost let you leave earlier."

Fox lowered his eyes. "I do." When they lifted again, his heart began to thump wildly.

Alex hadn’t said anything, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. He lowered his head, brushing the tip of his nose against Fox’s before moving in for a slow, deep kiss. As his tongue slipped into the other man’s mouth, the doorbell sounded. Alex broke the kiss and stared down at Fox.

"I’m gonna kill ‘im."

Fox smiled despite his irritation at the interruption.

"How do you know it’s C.J.?"

"Nobody else comes here."

"But he’s already been here once today."

The bell rang again.

"I know. I think I’m gonna have to sit him down and have a little discussion with him after I kill him." Alex kissed Fox soundly before boosting himself to his feet. He pulled his jeans on and ran his fingers through Fox’s hair. "Stay put. I’ll be right back."

Emitting a contented purr, Fox snuggled down into the pillows and waited while Alex left to deal with his overzealous friend.

The bell rang once more before Alex reached the door. Undoing the lock, he threw the door open.

"C.J., you and I gotta..." The words died in his throat, and the line of his gaze dropped about a foot to the angry woman in the hall.

"Scully."

"Good guess, Krycek. Where’s Mulder?"

"How did you find out where I live?"

"Wasn’t that hard. I’ll ask again. Where’s Mulder? Don’t bother to deny that he’s here. I know he is."

"He’s here," Alex said nonchalantly, his cool back in place. "In the bedroom."

Scully slipped past him and looked around.

"Mulder. Mulder!"

Fox bolted into a sitting position and listened.

It couldn’t be. It...it wasn’t her.

"Mulder!"

"Shit." He jumped out of bed, looking for something to put on. Picking up the thong, he let it drop immediately, thinking better of that idea. "Shit!" He ran into the bathroom, wrapped a towel around his waist and hurried into the living room. Before he could get a word out, Scully approached, firing questions at him.

"Mulder, what the hell are you doing here? What happened to you this weekend? Are you all right? Why are you here?" She stopped long enough to notice his injured nipple, and her eyes flew up to his face.

"Scully..."

"What the hell happened? Did someone do that to you? Was it that Shane?"

Fox paused, clearly taken aback by the question.

"What do you know about Shane?"

"I know you were with him. What did he do to you?"

Fox’s gaze went to Alex.

"Alex...is it okay if I talk to her?"

"What the hell are you asking him for?" Scully fumed. "And take that damned thing off!"

What damned...the collar. He’d forgotten about that. Ah, crap.

"Scully, listen..." Fox stopped then turned back to Alex. "Alex?"

Ignoring the scowling woman, Alex stepped around her and really ticked her off by brushing a soft kiss across the other man’s lips.

"I’ll be in the bedroom. Will you be all right?"

"Yes, Alex."

Without a second look at Scully, Alex retreated into the bedroom, leaving them alone. Not waiting for Scully to get started again, Fox went first.

"I was going to explain everything to you on Monday," he promised. "I just needed some time..."

"Time to what?" Scully asked. "And please, Mulder, for Christ’s sake, take that thing off and go put some clothes on. I can’t even look at you like this."

"All right, Scully. Look...I...I’ll be right back."

Mulder hurried from the room, leaving Scully to look around the spacious apartment. She hadn’t been quite sure of what she’d expected, but it damn sure wasn’t this. She walked further into the living room, taking in the incredibly high end furnishings and electronics, and she shook her head.

"I don’t even want to know."

She ran her hand along the back of a leather chair and was astounded by its softness.

The bastard was big on comfort, that was for sure.

"Best of everything."

She turned and looked in the direction that Mulder had gone.

Why couldn’t he see that he was just another possession?

Alex looked up as the bedroom door opened, and Fox crept in.

"What happened? Is she gone?"

"No," Fox croaked. "She uh...she won’t talk to me like this. I came to put something on. Is it okay?"

Alex stood up and went over to the dresser, pulling out some clothes. He handed them to Fox, who dropped the towel and quickly slipped into the jeans and t-shirt. When the older man didn’t immediately leave, Alex cocked his head curiously.

"Is there something else?"

"She wants me to..." Fox looked down at the floor. "...To take my collar off."

Alex drew an even breath. "Do you want to?"

"...No. But...but she won’t even look at me if I’m wearing it."

Alex nodded, sensing the conflict in Fox. "You need to talk to her. If that means taking the collar off, then go ahead."

"But..."

"It’s okay," Alex murmured. "Take it off."

Fox hesitated for a moment then lifted his hands to the buckle. They paused then curled into fists, and he let out a frustrated sigh. Alex stepped forward, and gently pulled Fox to him. Depositing a tender kiss on the other man’s lips, he reached up and undid the collar. "It’s all right," he whispered. "It’s enough to know that you want to wear it."

Frowning, Fox looked down at the strip of leather now dangling from his lover’s fingers.

"Go on," Alex coaxed. "You don’t want to leave her simmering out there for too long, do you?"

"No, I...I guess not." Yet, he didn’t move.

"What is it?" Alex asked softly.

"I’m just...guess I’m really not up for getting yelled at."

Alex stroked the side of Fox’s head. "If you don’t want to do this, I can go ask her to leave."

"I just need a minute."

"You sure?"

"I have to deal with this," Fox resolved. "The longer I wait, the worse it’ll be." He gave Alex a hint of a smile. "Besides, she hates you enough already. I wouldn’t want to give her any more reason."

The two men stood quietly, Fox wrapped in the warm comfort of Alex’s arms, then he reluctantly pulled away and went out to meet his doom.

The minute Fox shut the door behind him, Alex spun around and picked up the phone. Viciously jabbing at the numbers, he waited only a few seconds before someone picked up on the other end.

"Tell me you didn’t tell Scully where I live."

"Huh? ...Alex?"

"Yeah, Alex. Did you give her my address?"

"Who? That little redheaded chick? Hell no! I haven’t even seen her."

"Well, she’s here."

"You’re shittin’ me. What’s she want?"

"My head on a stick...Fox in a straightjacket..."

"Where is she that you’re talking to me so freely? Where are you?"

"I’m in my bedroom. She’s out in the living room. Fox just went out there to talk to her. Somehow she found out about all the stuff that went down this weekend, and she’s out for blood."

"Well, if she knows everything that happened, she should be thanking you, not looking to kill you."

"Fox is here, C.J. With me. That’s all Scully’ll ever need to want me dead. It didn’t help that he came out of the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and his collar.

"Ohhh, shit."

"Uh huh."

"So, they’re still talking? Can you hear anything?"

"No. Which means things are either very calm, which is good, or she’s killed him."

"Nah," C.J. said, only half-joking. "If she’d killed him, she’d have come after you already."

Alex sighed. "I’m gonna give it about ten minutes. If I still don’t hear anything, I’m going to poke my head out and see what’s going on."

"Just be careful." C.J. paused for a moment then changed the subject. "So...he was wearing a towel and his collar, huh? Guess that means you got things settled."

"He’s staying," Alex murmured. "I should kick your ass for interfering yet again, but...I...I didn’t want him to leave. I just thought it would be best for him. I was thinking about him."

"Well, that’s sweet Alex, but a little misguided. It’s clear to me and should be to you too, that what’s best for him and you, is to be together."

Alex closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

"I just don’t want to hurt him."

"I know you don’t, buddy."

"Buddy."

"Sure. We’re buddies."

"Who told you we’re buddies?"

"You can stop the gruff act," C.J. teased. "I know you’re really a pussycat."

"You’re pushing your luck, y’know?" Alex asked, putting soft menace in his tone. C.J. wasn’t buying it.

"Forget it, Alex. I’ve seen you with Fox, remember? I know there’s a sweetheart under all that vinegar."

"You’re not Fox," Alex reminded the other man.

"Aww, that’s sweet. You’re saving all your schmoop for one man."

Alex sighed in exasperation. "Are you looking for an ass kicking?"

"What, you didn’t whoop enough butts the other night? I heard Shane really looks like shit, by the way."

"He’s lucky he’s alive," Alex rumbled, real anger now evident in his tone.

"I know. You jacked him up so bad though, he’ll probably never be able to show his face anywhere again. For somebody as vain as he is, that’s a better punishment. Well, I’m gonna go now. I’m having Mick over for lunch, and he should be here soon. You make sure that little redheaded harpy hasn’t done any permanent injury to your baby, and I’ll see you later."

Alex hung up and sat quietly ruminating for a moment before propelling himself off the bed and creeping over to the door to listen.

Fox finished his story, and Scully stood with her back to him for a second longer before turning slowly.

"Sssso...you’re telling me that Krycek rode in on his white charger, slew the evil Shane dragon, swept you up in his arms and carried you off to his penthouse, where he’s been tenderly caring for you ever since."

"A bit over dramatic, Scully, but yes," Fox answered.

Scully sighed and ran her hands over her face. "Let me see your wounds."

Fox backed away. "I’m okay. Alex has been taking good care of me."

"Mulder, unless Krycek can produce a medical degree, I want to check them out for myself."

Fox remained at a distance.

"For God’s sake, Mulder, there isn’t an inch of you I haven’t seen before. Now drop your damn pants."

In the bedroom, Alex heard the rather loudly uttered command, and a soft growl rolled in his throat. He quickly checked his rising anger, telling himself that it was completely unwarranted. Scully was Fox’s partner and a medical doctor. Her concern was for his physical well being. It was a good thing that she was checking him out.

Alex took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

There. Better.

"I don’t understand, Mulder. How could you let anyone do this to you? This had to hurt like hell."

There was a murmur from Fox too soft for Alex to hear, then Scully spoke again.

"Is it very tender?"

"Oww!"

"Guess so."

Alex’s composure began to crack, and he laced his fingers together, squeezing until his knuckles showed white.

She was.... touching him.

Oh, God. Get a fucking grip, would you?

He forced himself to loosen his fingers and walk away from the door. Fox would be fine. If Scully started screaming and acting like a lunatic, he’d hear that, and he’d go in and toss her out on her little ass.

Taking slow, even breaths, he made himself comfortable on his bed then, stroking Fox’s collar over his cheek, he stared at the door and waited.

"So...how did this happen, Mulder?" Scully asked when she finished checking him over. "How did you end up back with him... again? I mean okay, he busted into that club and saved you from really getting messed up, but is that reason enough to fall back into bed with him? What’s changed since that day you showed up at my apartment looking like the world had come to an end?"

"A lot, Scully," Fox answered softly. "I understand now why Alex said what he’d said to me."

"Oh. Had a good reason for breaking your heart, did he?"

"...Yes."

"I’m dying to hear."

Fox shook his head. "I can’t tell you."

"What’s the big secret?"

"It’s...it’s deeply personal for him, Scully. Please just trust me and believe that he was doing what he thought was best."

"Mmm hmm. But now everything is just peachy."

"No. Not by a long shot. The difference is, now I know what’s going on. I understand. He needs me, Scully...and I’m going to stay."

"Stay. Here?"

Fox answered with resounding silence.

Scully heaved a long sigh. "I know how pointless it is to try and reason with you when you’re like this."

"Like what?"

"When you get all...’man on a mission’ on me. Just answer me this. What exactly does he need you for?"

Fox shrugged. "To be here for him."

"Here for him to....slap a dog collar on you and treat you like his damn slave? Tie you up and...and do whatever disgusting things he does to you? How’s that helping him other than in the obvious way?"

"You don’t get it, Scully."

"By all means, Mulder, explain it to me."

"I told you; it’s personal."

"He’s got you snookered, Mulder. He’s faking whatever issue it is you think he has."

"For what purpose?"

"To use you! To humiliate and degrade you. It’s fun to him, Mulder. He’s having himself a hell of a good time at your expense."

"No."

"Yes." Scully closed her eyes and tipped her head back, taking a moment to regroup. She refocused on Fox and spoke calmly. "You’re going to get hurt, Mulder. Again. Don’t let him hurt you again."

"He doesn’t want to hurt me, Scully. He wanted me to leave so I wouldn’t get hurt."

"Mmmmbut you wouldn’t go."

Fox shook his head.

"Because he needs you. To help him resolve some deeply personal issue."

"Scully, listen." Fox lowered his head. "Just...go home. I’m all right. I’ll be all right. I’ll see you at work tomorrow."

Scully ran her hands up over her face and through her hair. "Without the collar, okay?" When Fox said nothing, she turned and headed for the door. He followed at a distance and joined her at the exit.

"I can’t believe I’m leaving you here," Scully sighed.

"You don’t have a choice," Fox said softly, then he reached out to stroke her hair. "I appreciate your concern, Scully. You’re a better friend than I probably deserve."

Scully stared for a moment. "I know you think you don’t have to, but be on your guard, Mulder. Please. Don’t let Krycek take what’s left of your soul." With that, she opened the door and walked away. Fox watched her until she was gone from his sight, then he shut the door and turned and moved without hesitation toward Alex’s bedroom. Quietly, he turned the knob and crept in, his eyes finding Alex stretched out on his bed, fingers closed loosely around the black collar, which was lying on his chest.

Sable lashes lifted, and Alex stared as Fox moved halfway into the room and stopped. With Alex’s eyes on him, he slowly undressed, neatly placing his clothing on the chair.

Lifting himself off of the bed, Alex approached Fox and studied him closely. Finding what he was looking for in the warm depths of his lover’s eyes, he lifted his hands to Fox’s throat, gently refastening the collar. When that was done, one hand rose to the older man’s cheek, caressing it tenderly, while the other dropped to his pants, undoing the button.

Fox drew an audible breath, and his heart began to pound double time as he listened to the metal hiss of Alex’s zipper. The younger man’s fingers raked through his hair, closing in the golden brown strands, and he was gently pulled down to his knees. He watched through glazed eyes as Alex freed his cock. He breathed in its scent, felt its heat on his lips as Alex brushed them with the head. Carefully, almost timidly, he touched his tongue to the velvety skin.

Alex let Fox’s tongue wander over him for a few seconds before he moved away. Hand wrapped around the base of the shaft, he rubbed his cock over the older man’s chin then the side of his face, and he shuddered slightly at the sensation of his lover’s stubble against the sensitive skin.

"She doesn’t understand, does she?"

Eyes fluttering, Fox nuzzled the rigid organ. "No, Alex."

Alex allowed Fox to suck briefly at the head then withdrew and continued to rub it over his face.

"Did you...tell her what we talked about?"

"No, Alex."

The younger man drew a deep breath, and when he let it out, there was a slight tremor to it.

"Fox."

Golden-brown lashes lifted, and Fox stared up into Alex eyes.

"I..." He brushed his cock over Fox’s lower lip as he licked at his own. "...I n-need this. Need you to..." Words failed him then, but there was no need for such communication. Fox knew what he needed, and he did his best to provide it.

Slowly, Alex’s lashes drifted down over his eyes as Fox gently took his cock into his mouth. One hand stroked over the surface of his lover’s hair, and he whispered sweet obscenities into the air.

Gingerly, Fox sucked on the head of Alex’s cock as he carefully grasped the shaft and began to slide his hand along its length. Alex’s fingers clenched in the silky strands of the older man’s hair, and he moaned softly as his head fell back.

"She thinks I’m using you," he whispered roughly. "...Maybe I am."

Fox pulled away with a soft sucking sound and looked up at Alex through his lashes.

"It’s all right."

Alex lifted his head and looked down at the man at his feet. "No. No, it..."

"It’s fine," Fox repeated, kissing a spot a couple of inches below Alex’s navel. "I want you to use me for whatever you need." He saw the turbulent mix of anguish and desire swirling in the other man’s eyes, and the ache in his heart matched the one in his cock. "I know I’m more to you than just an available warm body."

"You are," Alex croaked. "You...you are,"

Fox blinked back the hot sting of tears then took a deep breath and slowly swallowed as much of Alex’s cock as he could. Alex softly sobbed his name and stood trembling, fighting to remain on his feet while Fox lovingly attended to him.

"God...oh, God," Alex breathed, his fingers raking restlessly through Fox’s hair. "Baby...m-mmm...my Fox..." His mouth fell open on a long groan as Fox gripped his cock, pumping as he sucked harder. "Don’t...God...don’t stop...don’t...n-nhhh...don’t..."

A gush of warm semen hit the back of Fox’s throat, and he choked it down. Above him, Alex jerked and moaned as he emptied himself into his lover’s mouth, then he went still. Fox felt the strength seep out of him, and he rose to his feet, breathing deeply to quell the tiny threat of his stomach’s revolt as he guided Alex over to the bed. He laid Alex back then settled in beside him, nestling into his warmth.

Several seconds passed, and Fox felt the soft flutter of Alex’s fingers in his hair.

"You okay?"

The words came in the barest of whispers, and Fox nodded, stroking the younger man’s chest.

"Yes, Alex." Fox lifted his head and looked down at the other man. "Are you all right?"

Alex drew in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. "I thought my head was going to explode."

Fox offered his lover a shy smile. "Is that good?"

Alex nodded and lifted a hand to weakly pet Fox’s head. "Better than good."

Fox lowered his gaze. "I’m not really..." He paused, unsure of what he wanted to say. "...confident...about...oral sex. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of men who were better at it."

"If you mean more experienced, yeah," Alex admitted. "But none...not one ever made me feel the way you do. Not even close." He pulled Fox into his arms. "Don’t ever feel insecure about what you give me. Don’t wonder if you’re good enough." He tightened his hold. "Don’t ever wonder that."

The quiet stretched out for several minutes, then Fox lifted his head and looked down at Alex.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Alex nodded.

"Those boys you talked about...the ones you were raised with at the orphanage...do you know what happened to any of them?"

"No." Alex sighed softly. "I thought about trying to track them down a million times. But then I’d think about actually finding some of them. I’d always imagine them to be well adjusted, upstanding guys with wives and kids and a...lawn."

Fox had to smile. "A lawn?"

Alex shrugged. "Isn’t that what normal people do on the weekends? Mow their lawns?"

"Had a lawn as a kid. Mowed it plenty. It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be."

Alex stared past Fox’s face. "Still...I kinda thought it’d be nice to have a house with a lawn someday."

"...And a wife and kids?"

It was Alex’s turn to smile. "Not exactly."

"...You’ve never tried to find them."

"No. I can’t."

"Why not?"

"What would I tell all those accountants and doctors about myself? I don’t think they’d be especially thrilled about having their kids call a gay, ex-triple agent/assassin with enough baggage to put American Tourister out of business, Uncle Alex."

"You don’t know that they’ve all become accountants and doctors," Fox chastised softly. "And even if that’s so, you don’t know that they wouldn’t want you around. You were what that bastard made you."

"Even you don’t believe that entirely, do you, Fox?" Alex asked sadly. "I had a choice. I could’ve run away or at least tried. "I could’ve absolutely refused even if it meant being beaten within an inch of my life and locked in that cellar until the end of time."

"It’s easy to look back now and say that you should have done x, y and z. But back then...while it was happening to you...could you rationalize as well?"

Alex offered no response.

"You were a child," Fox whispered. "And you were abused in the most horrible ways. They ravaged your body and your mind. They took your childhood and your innocence. Every last one of them deserved to die for what they did to you. I’d kill them myself if I could."

Sable lashes lifted, and Alex trained a desolate stare on the other man.

"Don’t say that."

"I mean it."

"...I know you do."

Fox lowered his head and said nothing more. Only a gentle hand on his cheek brought his attention back to Alex’s face.

"It isn’t an easy thing...accepting such extreme devotion when everything inside me tells me that I’ve done nothing to deserve it. When I’m so afraid that I’ll...you’ve been hurt so much already."

Fox nuzzled the hand at his cheek. "You know...despite all that they’d done to you, ultimately, those bastards failed to break you. They may be battered and in need of a little care, but your heart and your soul are still intact."

"How do you know that?" Alex asked in a voice so soft it was almost inaudible.

"There’s a softness about you," Fox answered "...in your eyes...your voice. A softness that wouldn’t be there if they’d been completely destroyed."

"Softness," Alex repeated. "Don’t you know that Alex Krycek has never displayed an ounce of softness in his life?"

Fox smiled. "Doesn’t Alex Krycek know that he’s a different person since he got mixed up with Fox Mulder?"

Alex stared up at the other man for a long while, then his hand began to move, brushing gently over Fox’s chin and his mouth then down his throat. Feather-light fingers wandered over his chest and circled the uninjured nipple, and Fox closed his eyes, moaning softly at the intimate caress.

"Yeah. He knows."

Gently, he rolled Fox beneath him and made love to the older man until they both collapsed in an exhausted heap some forty-five minutes later. It was mid-afternoon before they rose and showered and wandered into the kitchen for something to eat. As they settled down in the living room with their meal, Alex’s phone rang.

Sighing loudly, he reached across Fox’s lap for the receiver. Checking the number, he groaned and jerked the phone to his ear.

"Yes, C.J."

"Everything cool?"

"Yes."

"Good. Up for some company?"

"Haven’t you been here already today?"

"Yeah. So? Can’t I come back?"

"No."

"Aww, c’mon, Alex. I wanna introduce you to Mick."

"Met him."

"No, you haven’t. Not really. I want to formally introduce my man to the my best friend."

"Well, why don’t you go do that and leave me alone?"

"Ha ha. I’m talking about you, and you know it."

"When the hell did I become your best buddy?"

Figuring out the gist of the conversation, Fox smirked and took a bite out of his sandwich.

"Are we going to go through this again? Come on, man. I already told him that he was going to get to meet you and Fox."

"You shouldn’t have done that."

"Why not?"

"We’re busy."

"Alex..."

Hearing his name, Alex looked toward Fox, and his tone gentled. "You siding with him?"

Fox lowered his head, nuzzling his lover’s shoulder. "Be nice, ‘kay?"

Alex grumbled softly and turned his attention back to the caller. "Fine. You can come over for a little while."

C.J. chuckled into the phone. "He’s got you wrapped around his little finger, doesn’t he?"

"Shut up, C.J., or I’ll change my mind."

"Okay, okay. We’ll be there soon."

Alex hung up and gave his smiling lover a blank stare.

"He coming over?"

"They. C.J. and his boyfriend."

Fox nodded. "I’d like to be able to thank them both. I mean, I...I thanked C.J., but not his boyfriend...Mick, right?"

"Yeah."

"I’d like to see Lucas at some point too. I know he was part of your little rescue operation."

"Yeah." Alex petted the head resting against his shoulder. "He’s a little guy, but he’s got balls of granite." He sighed softly. "I actually owe them all a big thank you, too." He kissed Fox’s forehead. "If they hadn’t been there, God knows what would have happened to you." He tightened his hold on the other man. "I don’t even wanna think about it."

Fox was silent for a moment, then he lifted his head and looked at the younger man.

"When are they coming?"

"Soon, I guess."

"Maybe I...should I go put something on?"

"Yeah," Alex answered softly. "Go ahead."

"What do you want me to wear?"

"You’d probably be most comfortable in something loose. Why don’t you just throw on my robe?"

Fox smiled at the thought of wearing something of Alex’s.

"Okay. Be right back."

Fox lifted himself from the sofa and moved quietly into the bedroom. He reappeared a couple of minutes later wrapped in Alex’s black silk robe.

"Looks good on you," Alex murmured, pulling Fox against him and lightly stroking the other man’s back "Very sexy."

"Anybody’d look good in silk this expensive," Fox countered, lowering his eyes.

"No, not just anybody," Alex argued, sifting his fingers through the older man’s hair. "Feels good against your skin, doesn’t it?"

Fox nodded. "Like your sheets. I never felt anything so decadent."

Alex gave the other man a trace of a smile. "I grew up surrounded by wealth but never really got to experience it firsthand. When I started to accrue my own wealth, I...I wanted to have the best of whatever money could buy. My life was an emotional void, and I guess I tried to fill up whatever was left of it with expensive stuff. Figured if I couldn’t be happy, I could at least be comfortable." He hugged Fox tightly. "Never occurred to me that one day I could have a shot at being both."

Fox clung to Alex, eyes closed, and he imagined that one day was now. And all the things that had hurt the younger man so deeply were a distant memory. And they were happy. And Alex loved him.Consciously. Openly.

But now was now. And one day seemed years away.

The couple pulled up in front of the high rise, and the passenger in the car looked up at the building, whistling softly.

"He lives here? Daaaaamn. I must be doing something wrong."

C. J. smiled and parked the car.

"Wait until you see the inside."

The two left the car and walked into the building.

"So, let me get this straight. He’s rich...because he’s gotta be to live here, and yet he hangs out at an S&M club and even takes the occasional client or two?"

C.J. shrugged and smiled. "Every boy’s gotta have a hobby."

Mick laughed softly, and the two boarded the elevator that would take them to the top floor.

The couple reclined on the sofa, Fox’s back to Alex’s chest, the older man purring contentedly as his lover stroked and kissed him.

"Know what I’m thinking right now?" Alex asked, the husky words vibrating against the back of Fox’s neck. Fox smiled.

"Is it dirty?"

Alex emitted a low moan as his hand brushed over Fox’s silk covered crotch. "Oh, yeah. Wanna hear?"

Before Fox could answer, the doorbell rang.

"Shit," Alex muttered soflty then gave the growing erection a gentle squeeze. "Ten minutes; just long enough to say hi and thanks, and then they’re out of here."

Before Fox could respond, Alex got up and stalked toward the door. He threw the door open and, staring at the smiling faces of the couple in the hall, he flat out informed them of their time limit.

"You got ten minutes."

C.J. shook his head and entered with Mick in tow.

"Is that any way to talk to guests? Hey, Fox. How’re you feeling?"

"All right," Fox answered quietly, giving C.J. and Mick a hint of a smile.

"Fox, Alex, this is Mick," C.J. announced proudly, slipping an arm around the other man’s waist.

"Hey," Mick said, lifting a hand in greeting.

"Good to meet you," Fox said, rising to shake Mick’s hand. "And thank you for the other night. Don’t know of too many people who’d help a total stranger the way you did."

Mick shrugged. "Heard so much about you from C.J. that I kinda feel like I know you. And even if I didn’t...people like that Shane can’t be allowed to get away with the sick stuff they do."

Fox’s gaze lowered to the floor as he recalled the events of that night. Alex approached from behind and wound an arm around him. The younger man coaxed him back to the sofa, motioning to C.J. and Mick with his free hand to sit. The two dropped into the chairs opposite the couch and watched smiling as Fox curled against Alex and dropped his head to the other man’s shoulder.

"I wanna thank you too," Alex said to Mick as he hugged Fox to him. "I didn’t get to do that before."

Mick nodded. "I’m glad I could help." He grinned. I’m a bit of a romantic sap, and seeing you together after all I know you’ve been through...it does my heart good."

"So...what was all the ten minutes baloney about?" C.J. asked as if he couldn’t guess.

Alex emitted an audible sigh. "As usual, C.J., your timing is impeccable. He slipped a hand under Fox’s chin and lifted. Focussing a sultry gaze on the older man, he continued to speak to his friend. "We were busy......weren’t we, Fox?"

"Yes, Alex," Fox breathed softly then submitted to a long, tender kiss.

"They’re so hot," Mick whispered to C.J. who, grinning from ear to ear, nodded in agreement.

Alex broke the kiss but stayed close enough to drag his tongue across Fox’s lower lip. The older man whimpered and pressed closer, and Mick sighed.

"Very, very hot." He looked toward C.J. "Think we should go and leave them alone?"

C.J. folded his hands over his chest. "Maybe if we’re quiet enough, they’ll forget we’re here and give us a free show."

"Forget it, asshole."

"Awww," C.J. pouted at Alex. "You’re no fun."

"Whatever," Alex mumbled then dragged his attention away from Fox. "I’m sure you boys can entertain yourselves well enough. You don’t need any extracurricular stimulation."

C.J. grunted good naturedly, then he had an idea.

"Hey. How about we all have dinner together some time?"

"We all?"

"Yeah. The four of us."

"You mean like a double date?" Alex droned. "Gosh, Wally, what about the Beav?"

C.J. chuckled. "The Beav?"

"Yeah. Lucas. If we’re going to go out, I’d like to invite him," Alex said, surprising C.J. with his willingness to socialize with them. "I’ll treat you all to dinner...it’s the least I can do to show my appreciation for your help."

C.J. gave his friend a wide grin. "Never let it be said that I turned down a free meal. You got it. Name the time and the place, and we’ll be there."

"Next week sometime," Alex answered, pausing to think. "Saturday. Give Fox enough time to feel better," he said, stroking his lover’s hair.

"Okay, great." C.J. turned to his companion. "That okay with you, babe?"

"Sure," Mick smiled. "That’s very kind of you, Alex, thank you."

"Thank you," Alex murmured then sighed heavily as he turned adoring eyes on Fox. Fox met his gaze for a moment then lowered his eyes as Alex pulled him in for a tender kiss on his forehead.

"God, they’re sweet," Mick moaned, then he reached over and tapped C.J.’s arm. "C’mon, C. Let’s leave them alone."

The couple rose to leave, and Alex got up followed by Fox.

"It was great meeting you," Mick said, reaching out to shake Fox’s hand. "I’m so glad you’re okay."

"If it weren’t for you guys, I might not be," Fox said softly, lowering his gaze. "Thank you again."

The couple turned to leave, then C.J. spun around quickly.

"Almost forgot. You need Lucas’ number, Alex?"

"Oh, yeah. Uh..." He looked in his general vicinity for something to write with. Finding nothing, he finally turned to Fox. "You got it, Fox?"

Fox nodded. "Go ahead, C.J."

"You don’t want to write it down?"

"I’ll remember it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay..."

Fox memorized the number as C.J. recited it, then he and Mick took their leave.

"Mick seems really nice," Fox said as Alex led him back to the sofa. "C.J.’s really gone on him."

"You could tell that from the fifteen minutes that they were here?" Alex asked, dropping down and pulling Fox onto his lap.

"The vibe was so intense I could feel it."

"Yeah?" Alex asked softly then arched upward. "Can you feel that?"

Fox grinned and wiggled against his lover’s growing erection. "It’s hard."

"Mmm hmm. And getting harder. What’re you gonna do with it?"

Fox’s eyes closed, and he snuggled up against the younger man. "Anything you want me to."

Alex was silent for several seconds, only the minute sounds of his breathing reaching Fox’s ears. Then his hand stole into the opening of Fox’s borrowed robe.

"Take this off," he murmured. "Then go get some lube. When you come back, take off my pants."

Fox moved to do as he was told, and when he had Alex naked from the waist down, Alex gently grasped his cock and pulled him forward.

"Down. Face me."

Fox straddled the younger man’s legs, trembling as he waited.

"Are you cold?"

Fox shook his head. "No...n-no, Alex."

Alex pulled Fox in for a long, thorough kiss and several brief ones before finally releasing him. His hands rose to Fox’s chest, traveling in a leisurely pace over the smooth skin. Avoiding the injured nipple, he paid special attention to the other, caressing and teasing it into a tight bud. Fox’s head dropped, and he moaned softly, and then Alex circled the nipple that Shane had pierced. He watched his thumb make a lazy circle around the still swollen nub, and he felt anger begin to bubble up in his chest.

"I should’ve killed him," he said softly.

"You did enough damage to him," Fox breathed, shifting so that his cock nudged Alex’s. Both men groaned, and then Alex shook his head.

"He doesn’t deserve to live." His gaze lifted to Fox’s. "He could’ve done so much worse to you if Lucas hadn’t seen you there. But...but he never would have gotten his hands on you at all if I hadn’t driven you away. What happened to you is my fault."

"No. No, Alex. Please stop thinking that way."

"It’s true," Alex said, letting his hands fall away from Fox’s chest. The reality of it began to truly sink in, and the pain closed his eyes. "I’ve fucked up so much and so often, I don’t know how you can possibly...I...I don’t know why you want to be with me."

Fox stared for a long moment then leaned forward and silently lowered his head to Alex’s shoulder as his fingers traced the length of the younger man’s cock.

"God," Alex whispered as he laid his cheek against Fox’s head. "But I’m glad that you do." Fox’s hand closed around the solid muscle and stroked gently, and Alex moaned, hugging the older man to him. "I need you to be with me. I can’t help it. I can’t..."

A hard whimper sounded in Fox’s throat as Alex suddenly pushed him away. Panting, he watched Alex snatch up the lube and quickly slap some of the cool gel onto his cock, then he was jerked into a searing kiss. As he fed on the plush lips, Alex coaxed Fox onto his cock and groaned into the other man’s mouth when he felt himself being enveloped in tight warmth. He began to buck instantly, pushing himself as deeply inside Fox as he could get.

There was no slowing things down. No time for sweet caresses or teasing pauses. He couldn’t. His increasingly frantic movements pushed Fox into a matching frenzy, and he began to thrash against the younger man, sobbing wildly as the head of Alex’s cock nudged his prostate again and again.

Alex tore his mouth away from Fox’s, gasping for breath as he gripped the older man’s cock and began to jerk it quickly.

Groaning through gritted teeth, Fox began to shudder, then he tensed, shooting streams of semen onto the front of Alex’s shirt. His muscles tightening around Alex’s cock drove the younger man to his own orgasm, his hoarse sobs vibrating the air around them.

When both men finished, Fox fell forward, collapsing against Alex’s chest. Slowly, the other man lifted his arms and wrapped them around Fox, weakly petting the golden brown head nestled against his shoulder.

"I’ll be with you as long as you need me," Fox whispered after a long silence. "As long as you want me."

Eyes closed, Alex thudded joyfully, painfully as he absorbed his lover’s words. "As long as I want you," he repeated softly. "I won’t ever hold you to that, Fox. If you ever feel that you can’t do this and you need to go, I’ll understand."

Fox slumped a bit in Alex’s arms, and the younger man drew back to look into his eyes.

"What is it?"

Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, Fox shook his head.

"Tell me," Alex demanded softly.

"I don’t...I don’t want you to understand. I..."

Alex waited but Fox said no more.

"Fox."

"Nevermind. I...it was nothing."

"It wasn’t nothing," Alex insisted. "I want to know what you were going to say." He dug down deep and made his next words sound like a firm order. "Fox, tell me."

Golden-brown lashes fluttered, and Fox dropped his head.

"I...I want you to want me to stay. No matter what. I want you to need me that much."

"So much that I completely disregard what you need?" Alex brushed his fingers through Fox’s hair. "I can’t do that to you."

"But this isn’t about me," Fox whispered.

"Is that why you didn’t want to tell me what you felt?"

Fox nodded.

"You’re wrong," Alex said. "This is just as much about you as it is me. If I didn’t feel that way, you’d be out of your fucking mind if you didn’t put as much distance between us as possible, and fast." He sighed softly. "I want you, Fox. I’ve told you that. I need you. More than I’ve ever needed anyone. You know that too. But I can’t let that need hold you prisoner."

Fox stared for a moment then slowly sank into Alex’s arms.

"What if I want to be your prisoner?"

Alex hugged the older man to him. "What the hell am I going to do with you?" he breathed.

"Anything you want." Fox snuggled closer to Alex. "Just ...don’t try to make me leave....please?"

Alex’s fingers clenched in the back of Fox’s shirt. His eyes slipped shut as he rubbed his cheek against the older man’s head.

"I don’t think I have a choice any more," he murmured. He sat stroking Fox’s back for a long while, then the other man lifted his head and looked him in the eye.

"Remember what we were talking about before C.J. and Mick got here?"

A few seconds of silence followed while Alex thought, then he gave Fox a hint of a smile.

"Yeah."

Sparkling eyes hid behind a sweep of golden-brown lashes.

"Was it really dirty?"

"Filthy." Alex gently pushed the older man off of his lap and took his hand. Tugging him toward the bedroom, he began to grin. "Come into the bedroom, and I’ll tell you about it..."

"Come in, Alex.....well, don’t you look nice today? Did you wear those nice new clothes just for me? You’re a good-looking boy; has anyone ever told you that? When you grow up, you’re going to be a heart-breaker........come in, come in..........that’s a boy. Now, take off those nice pants and bend over the arm of that chair..."

A soft whimper rose from the rumpled pillows, and Alex frowned in his sleep.

"...Yes....ohhhhh, yes. Wonderful. Just....do you love me, Alex? Tell me...tell me you love me..."

"No...n-no..." Alex sat bolt upright, eyes wide. When he realized where he was, he closed his eyes and drew a deep, unsteady breath. Then his eyes flew open again, and he looked down at the spot beside him. Before he could wonder where Fox was, he heard the toilet flush. He lay back and listened to the water run, then a few seconds later the bathroom door opened, and Fox crept back into the room. Alex closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe normally. When Fox was again settled beside him, his eyes opened, and he lay staring up at the ceiling until he fell asleep several hours later.

Cerulean eyes watched as for two hours now, the man at the desk stared through the file in his hands.

"Okay, Mulder. What the hell’s going on?"

Fox looked up at his partner and shrugged. "What d’you mean?"

"I mean, you’ve been looking at the same file for damn near two hours now. What’s eating you?"

"Nothing."

"Don’t hand me that. You walked in here this morning with a long face, and despite your lukewarm assurances to the contrary, I know something’s wrong. Did Krycek do something to you?"

"Scully, I told you everything’s fine."

"And you really expect me to believe that. He did something, Mulder. I know he did something."

"He didn’t do anything, Scully."

"Fine. But something is wrong.. Tell me."

Fox shook his head and looked down at his desk.

"Mulder." Scully let out a long sigh. I promise...no judgements, no yelling. I’m your friend. If something is wrong, you can tell me. Come on. Get it off your chest."

Fox chewed at his lower lip for a while, then he looked up at his partner, sadness filling his eyes.

"I can’t tell you what’s wrong because I don’t know what’s wrong. Alex was very quiet this morning. Very withdrawn. He said he didn’t sleep well, but..."

Scully raised her eyebrows. "But? You don’t believe that?"

One shoulder lifted then dropped. "He might have had trouble sleeping, but I don’t think that’s all there is to it."

"Has this got something to do with that very personal problem of his?" Scully asked sounding more suspicious than sympathetic.

"I think so."

"Why don’t you just ask him?"

"I thought it’d be best to give him time to work it out on his own."

"What if he’s still in the same mood tonight? You gonna say something then?"

Fox nodded. "I don’t want him to be brooding all night." He paused for a moment, staring into space, then he shook his head. "I...I don’t know what happened. We had a good night. I thought he slept well... I did. And then this morning, he was so pensive. And..."

"And what?"

"I don’t know, I...maybe I’m just imagining it."

"Imagining what, Mulder?"

"He seemed...distant."

Scully rubbed her forehead then took a deep breath.

"Mulder...please. Please, for God’s sake, please. If he’s in a mood tonight and won’t talk to you about it or whatever...I want you to give some serious consideration to getting the hell out of there."

Fox shook his head. "No. No, Scully."

"Why do you want to do this to yourself? Whatever this big issue of his is, it’s making you unhappy too."

"I’m not unhappy," Fox argued softly. "I’m just a little confused about the change in Alex’s mood. I’m sure he’ll be fine by the time I get home tonight."

"...Home. Are you talking about your apartment? Or are you calling his place home now?"

"Home is where he is."

"That’s very cliche, Mulder."

"I don’t care what it is. It’s my honest feeling."

"I believe you’re sincere," Scully sighed. "I don’t know, Mulder, I...I just don’t think he deserves such sincerity. Or loyalty...or anything good from you." Her voice lowered. "Look at the kind of life he has you living. It’s...it’s...appalling."

"You don’t understand," Fox whispered. "I don’t expect you to. Just know it’s what I want."

Scully said nothing, and Fox lowered his head.

"I’m sorry if you’re disappointed in me. I’m...I’m sorry if I turned out to be someone you don’t feel you know any more. But I’ve only just begun to feel as though I know me. Really. For the first time."

"Well, that’s...that’s...great...for you," Scully said, measuring each word. "I just...I...God, Mulder, I just don’t know what to say to you about this."

"Don’t say anything," Fox murmured. "Just try and respect my feelings, okay?"

"Why aren’t you worried about Krycek respecting you? Because I sure as hell don’t see that he does, Mulder. Not with him treating you like...like..." She coudn’t find the words, and that was fine because the expression on her face said it all.

"It’s not disgusting, Scully," Fox whispered, lowering his head. "You just...you don’t understand."

"Can you explain it to me so that I do understand?" Scully asked.

"To understand, Scully, you need to totally open your mind," Fox said. "I don’t think you can do that."

"You’re my best friend, Mulder. Closer to me than either of my brothers." Scully approached her partner’s desk and pulled up a chair. Settling into it, she folded her hands in her lap, focusing an earnest stare on him. "I want to try."

Alex slid the milk carton into its place in the refrigerator and shut the door. As he turned to store the grocery bags, he heard the front door open. Instead of going out to meet Fox, he continued with his task, waiting. More than ten minutes later, Fox entered, wearing the clothing he found on the bed.

"I’m sorry I’m late," he murmured, eyeing Alex warily. "Scully wanted to talk, and..."

"What should you have done when you relaized you were going to be late?" Alex asked softly, shutting the broom closet door then turning his gaze to Fox for the first time.

"I should have called."

"Why didn’t you?"

Fox took one step forward then stopped. "Scully wanted to talk. She wanted to understand. Really...understand. And I...I think she does. She listened to me, Alex. She really listened, and she promised to lay off. It was such a good conversation, I guess I was afraid to interrupt it."

"That’s no excuse for not calling."

Fox stared, surprised at Alex’s response. "I...I’m sorry."

"Don’t let it happen again."

Fox’s gaze dropped to the floor.

This was not the reaction he’d expected at all. Yes, he realized later that he should have called home, but this... chilled response...he had no idea what to make of it or how to react. He stood quiet and still as Alex moved past him and began preparing for dinner.

Five minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen.

Fox remained in the same spot, almost motionless. Only his eyes followed Alex as the other man worked in silence.

What the hell was going on? Why was Alex acting like this? He had to know. He couldn’t take this, he couldn’t...

"Alex?"

"Be quiet, Fox."

But...

Alex turned and pointed to the far corner of the kitchen.

"Go stand over there and don’t say anything. When I want to hear from you, I’ll let you know."

Fox obeyed the soft command after a very brief hesitation. He stood there trembling slightly as he tried to wrap his mind around all that had happened since this morning, and he couldn’t. He didn’t get it.

What the hell happened? Why was Alex behaving this way? They’d had such a good night. Alex had done things to him that...and then they had fallen asleep hours later and blissfully exhausted, Alex coiled possessively around his body.

His eyes closed at the memory. It had been so perfect. So good. He should have awakened this morning to lingering kisses and loving touches, but instead he opened his eyes to an empty, cold bed. Alex had barely spoken ten words to him in the hour and a half before he’d left for work, hardly looked at him even, and when he walked out the door, it was to nothing more than a soft, flat goodbye. No kiss, no hug, no smile. And now this.

Reviewing every waking moment from last night to now, Fox tried to figure it out. Tears of frustration spiked his lashes, and he pressed his lips together to keep any sound from escaping.

I don’t know, I just don’t get it.

He swiped at his eyes with the back of one hand and forced himself to breathe normally. Whatever Alex wanted, whatever the reason was that he was behaving like this, Fox would go along with it. Sooner or later he’d find out what was wrong, and then he could try and fix it.

Yeah. Until then, just take it easy. Don’t ask questions, do whatever he wants, and everything’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine.

He remained in his corner until the light dinner was finished; fifty-five minutes total, and then he moved slowly over to a chair at the kitchen table and sat down when instructed. Alex served his meal, plated some food for himself and, without a word, took his food and left the room.

Fox stared down at his plate long after his dinner had gone cold, trying to decipher Alex’s bizarre mood. So long that Alex had finished his meal and had come back into the kitchen with his half-empty plate. The younger man glanced at Fox’s uneaten dinner as he passed then empited his leavings into the disposal. Rinsing and loading his dish into the washer, he turned and leaned against the counter.

"Not hungry?"

Fox dropped his gaze.

"No...no, Alex."

There was silence for a long minute, then Alex pushed away from the counter.

"All right. Empty your plate then come into the living room." With that, he was gone, leaving Fox to do as he was told.

He didn’t know why his hands shook as he scraped the food from his plate except that something in Alex’s low, even tone suggested that he should be nervous. He completed his task quickly then crept into the living room, where Alex was sitting at one end of the sofa, legs crossed, listening to Tchaikovsky’s sixth symphony. He stopped by the coffee table and waited. And waited. For nearly twenty minutes he waited until Alex finally spoke, and then he had to strain to hear.

"Sit here by me."

Fox moved to the spot on the floor that Alex had indicated, and he lowered his head, waiting in silence.

One song faded into the next and the next, and then Fox felt the gentle touch of Alex’s hand on his head. He closed his eyes and breathed a silent sigh as the other man’s fingers stroked through his hair.

It was okay. It was going to be okay. Whatever had happened, Alex was going to get over it, and...

Alex’s fingers tightened slightly in his hair, and the soft grind of the younger man’s zipper echoed in Fox’s ears. He opened his eyes but did not lift his head. And then he was being pulled back between Alex’s legs. He turned into the younger man, and the next thing he knew, his face was being pushed into Alex’s bared crotch.

"Suck me," Alex instructed thickly. "Slow. Easy."

He shuddered as Fox’s warm breath flowed over him, and when he felt the delicate touch of the other man’s tongue, he grunted softly. "Easy," he whispered again, his fingers clenching in the golden-brown strands.

Slowly, Fox’s tongue danced over the velvety shaft, pausing here and there so he could nibble and tease. Shaking hands came up to Alex’s denim-clad thighs, stroking gently, and he nuzzled the younger man’s cock, feeling it twitch against his cheek.

Alex’s head fell back against the cushion, and his eyes rolled up in his head. The faint scratch of stubble gave way to the soft, moist warmth of Fox’s mouth, and he groaned deep in his throat.

So good. So fucking amazing. How could Fox ever be insecure about this? No one had ever made him feel this good...made him want to lose control the way his body was screaming for him to do now.

"Mmmmh..."

As slowly as Fox was moving, he knew that it wouldn’t be long before Alex was ready. And he thought that if he could make it really good...so good that Alex wouldn’t have a choice...if he could take him all the way, then...

Alex’s mouth fell open, and a hard gasp tumbled out. His hips snapped up, pushing his cock deeper down Fox’s throat, gagging the older man. Quickly, Fox backed off a bit, taking deep breaths in through his nose and forcing himself to relax. Slowly, he sank back down, determined to take all of Alex’s cock this time, and he did. Alex’s groaned appreciation of his efforts filled Fox with pride, and his head began to bob slowly up and down on the thick shaft.

Alex’s groans soon turned to frantic whimpers, and he began to squirm and buck, and Fox knew he had him. Softly, he moaned around his mouthful, sending delicious vibrations down the length of Alex’s cock.

"God," Alex panted. "Ah, fuck." He tried desperately to hold on, to retain some small shred of control, but it was impossible. One hand clutched at the sofa cushion while the other continued to clench in Fox’s hair, and he let loose with a loud cry as he exploded.

Fox choked on the first gush of semen as it hit the back of his throat, but he recovered quickly and swallowed the rest down then lovingly licked Alex clean. When he finished, he laid his head on the drained man’s thigh and listened as Alex’s labored breathing slowly returned to normal. He sat quietly, doing his best to ignore the demands of his own cock, then finally Alex spoke. And Fox’s heart sank.

"Go into my bedroom. Take...what you need and put it in the spare room."

Fox lifted his head and focused a disbelieving stare on the younger man. His mouth opened, and a soft clicking sounded in his throat before he found his voice several seconds later.

"I...Alex, I...am I being punished? Please...please tell me what I did wrong so I don’t do it any more."

Alex forced himself to look at Fox, and he steeled himself against the despondent, pleading gaze.

"Have you forgotten so soon?"

"N-no, I...but what about this morning? You were being cool to me even then. I don’t understand. I don’t...I don’t know what I did."

"Fox, are you refusing to do what I asked you to do?"

"No, Alex. But I..." Fox stopped and swallowed down the salty threat of tears. "I just don’t understand the entire reason that I’m being punished."

"Am I your master?"

Fox lowered his head and nodded. "...Yes, Alex."

"Is this not what you wanted? What you told me you needed?"

"Yes, Alex."

"Should you question your master?"

"No, Alex."

"Then go. Do what I asked."

Fox sat quietly for a moment then asked in a barely audible voice, "After that, what do you want me to do?"

"Go to bed. Tomorrow morning, before you get ready for work, come to my room. Make sure you’re slick and ready. Understand?"

"...Yes, Alex." Fox rose to his feet and, gaze still to the floor, he left the room. Alex watched him shuffle out, his insides twisting painfully.

He’s hurt. He’s confused.

He said he’d do anything, he told himself indignantly. He said he needed to, so why should he be hurt?

Closing his eyes, Alex pitched forward and put his head between his knees.

"Fuck."

"Morning, Mulder...oh, God; you look like hell."

Red-rimmed eyes looked away from Scully’s face, and Fox returned his concentration to his computer monitor.

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

Fox sighed softly and looked down at his desk. "Not much."

"From the look on your face it wasn’t for any good reasons. What happened? You didn’t find out what his problem was, did you?"

Saying nothing, Fox shook his head.

"Mulder, I can’t stand this. You look so tired and sad."

"I’m okay."

"You’re not. What happened last night?"

"He...sent me to sleep in the spare bedroom. Made me move my stuff out of his room."

"Did he say why?"

"I asked, but..."

"But what?"

"It’s...it’s n-not my place to question him."

Scully felt her blood begin to heat up. "Not your...Mulder. Do your hear yourself? Not your place. You’re a grown, independent man, not a slave."

"I’m his slave."

The words pierced Scully gut, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"It’s my choice, Scully," Fox explained, hoping she would understand. "I can walk away any time I want."

"Then why don’t you? Clearly he’s distancing himself from you. Whatever his reasons are, they’re making you miserable."

"He’s not distancing himself completely."

"Wait. Let me guess. He still wants sex. Mulder," Scully began, sadness filling her eyes. "Don’t you feel used?"

"He is shutting himself off from me emotionally, but he still needs me," Fox said, avoiding the question. "Something is wrong, and I know it’s just a matter of time before I find out what."

"But this is hurting you, Mulder. I can see it in your eyes."

Fox bowed his head. "...Yes, it hurts," he whispered. "But it’ll be okay. I just have to be patient with him. He needs patience and understanding and whatever support I can give him."

"Even if it’s only in the form of sex."

"He can get sex from anyone," Fox countered. "It’s more than that. I know it even if he doesn’t."

Scully speared her hands through her hair, clutching at the red strands in frustration.

She promised. She promised.

"Mulder," she said calmly. "Swear to me...if he hurts you...physically...swear to me you’ll get the hell out of there immediately and give this up."

"He won’t do anything to hurt me."

"Mulder..."

"I promise," Fox sighed.

"All right." Scully walked over to her desk and sat down. "Now, I suppose we ought to get some work done."

Saturday

Fox stood in front of the mirror, checking his appearance. Sure that Alex would approve, he turned to exit the spare bedroom and came to an abrupt halt. Standing in the doorway, Alex fixed an appraising stare on him. He met the youngr man’s gaze briefly before lowering his eyes and standing for inspection.

"Are you wearing the thong I laid out with the clothes?"

"Yes, Alex."

Alex approached, stopping only inches from Fox, and he leaned in, almost touching his nose to the side of the other man’s neck.

"Wear this cologne from now on." He looked at his watch and moved away. "Let’s go."

Chewing on his lower lip, Fox followed Alex out of the bedroom and to the front door. Alex switched on the lamp on the table by the door, picked up his keys, and the couple left.

"It was so nice of Alex to do this," Lucas said to C.J. as he looked around the restaurant. "And such a nice place."

"He really appreciates what we did," C.J. answered, stroking Mick’s back. "Fox means everything in the world to him."

"You should have seen them the other day," Mick sighed. "They’re so sweet together. I’ll bet Alex is still babying the hell out of him."

The subjects of their conversation entered the restaurant minutes later, and the hostess led them to their table. The wide smiles faded from all three faces as Alex stopped at the table, and Fox came to a halt at least a foot behind him, head bowed.

"Uh...hey, Alex...Fox." C.J. looked from one man to the other then back again. He didn’t know what else to say.

"Guys." Alex took his seat then looked up at Fox and motioned to the other chair. As Fox slid into his seat, Lucas and Mick exchanged glances.

"Hello, Fox," Lucas said cautiously. "How are you?"

"You can talk to them."

C.J.’s head snapped around, and he stared at Alex even as Fox lifted his head and spoke.

"I’m...I’m okay. Thank...I wanted to thank you, Lucas for what you did for me last week."

"I didn’t do much, but you’re welcome," Lucas answered. "People like Shane make my blood boil. I thought Alex was gonna kill ‘im for sure."

Fox’s gaze fell to the table, and C.J. reached over and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"You feeling okay, Fox?"

"I’m fine."

Deep frown lines creased C.J.’s brow, and before he could ask any more questions, the server arrived at the table, smiling as she surveyed the group.

"This must be my lucky night. What a handsome bunch." Her gaze fell on Fox and lingered. "Would you like to order some drinks and appetizers to start?"

His guests ordered first, then Alex asked for a glass of chenin blanc for himself, and when the server turned to ask Fox what he’d have, Alex ordered another glass for him. All eyes went to Alex, including the server’s, and he stared back at the woman.

"That’ll be all," he said evenly, and the woman nodded and bustled away. He turned his attention to the men, and three set of eyes immediately shifted to the table surface. An uncomfortable silence followed, then Mick cleared his throat.

"S-so. How ‘bout that thunderstorm last night, huh?"

"God, that rain came down in buckets, didn’t it?" Lucas added. "And the lightning. It must have been spectacular from high up, huh, Alex?"

"I didn’t notice."

"You didn’t...how could you not notice a storm like that?" Lucas turned to Fox. "How about you, Fox?"

"I watched it for a while."

The drinks and appetizers arrived, and the others dug in while Alex sipped at his wine. Only Fox touched nothing.

"Hey, Fox, aren’t you hungry?" Mick asked, really beginning to be concerned.

Fox looked up at Alex out of the corner of his eye and shook his head. "I want to save room for dinner."

"Drink your wine," Alex instructed softly, and Fox obeyed, lifting the glass to his lips.

"Hey, Alex," C.J. called in a low murmur. "Would you come to the men’s room with me?"

"You need an escort to go to the men’s room?"

"Yeah.I’ve got this phobia about public restrooms. I need someone big and strong to hold my hand." C.J. stood up. "Come on. Please?"

Alex glared at his friend for a moment then stood up. "I’ll be back," he said to Fox, briefly touching the back of the older man’s head before following C.J. toward the back of the restaurant. The minute they reached the men’s room door, C.J. whirled around to face Alex.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked in an urgent whisper as he reached behind him and threw the door open. Fortunately, the bathroom was empty, and C.J. began to pace from one end to the other. "I can’t believe what I’m seeing out there! What happened? Why are you treating him like a...a...."

"I’m giving him what he wants," Alex broke in, meeting C.J.’s shocked then disbeliving stare.

"What he wants. No. No, no, Alex. I could believe that if he didn’t look the way he does, but there’s not the tiniest hint of happiness in his eyes... or yours. This is not what either of you wants. So the questions remains. Why is it happening?"

"Don’t worry about us, C.J.," Alex said, the words taking on a warning tone. "We’re fine."

C.J. ignored him. "Fine. You go back out there and look. Really look in his eyes and tell me again that he’s fine."

No response.

"Shit, Alex, why do you keep fucking things up with him? Explain it to me so I can understand."

"You know, C.J., you’ve got this stupid notion that we’re best buddies, but I never fucking said anything to that effect. Stay the hell out of my business."

"I would if I thought you had a handle on it, but clearly you don’t. You’re screwing Fox up, you’re screwing yourself up, and for what? Some past issue that recently came back to haunt you?"

Alex simply glared.

"Tell me about it, Alex, " C.J. coaxed. "Let me try to help. I know Fox is trying, but I think he’s way too emotionally wrapped up to be effective."

"And you’re not? Buddy?" Alex sneered.

"Not so wrapped up that you can burn me the way you have Fox." C.J.’s tone softened. "He loves you so much, Alex. He aches with it, and right now you’re just...trampling the shit out of that. He’s so fucking hurt, but he’ll continued to be there...to do anything you tell him to, because it’s what you need."

Alex stood leaning against one of the two sinks, eyes to the floor.

"Are you through?"

"Not by a longshot. But we’re here for a nice dinner, so I’ll just say this for now...whatever it is that you’ve got stuck up your ass, deal with it. You’ve got a beautiful, brilliant, loyal man who loves you like no one else is ever going to. Whether you admit it or not, he means everything to you. I was there, Alex, and I saw the rage you were in the other day at the club. It had nothing to do with Shane having the gall to mess with what was yours. It had to do with him hurting your baby. Isn’t that right?"

Alex stared at the patch of floor by C.J.’s feet.

"I don’t care what you do, Alex," C.J. went on. "You can’t hide how you feel about him. In fact, the harder you try, the more obvious it becomes."

"Believe whatever the fuck you want, C.J. Just stop trying to shove your views down my throat."

"You’re a stubborn bastard. But I know what I see."

"You see nothing. He’s mine. I’m good to him. I take care of him. And yes, it pisses me off if anyone messes with him because he does belong to me."

"Why do you insist on doing this with me? I’ve seen too much, Alex, or have you forgotten that I was at your apartment after he walked out this last time? You were drunk. Drunk. You said things that night and even the next day that you can’t deny you said. This man fucks you up like nobody’s business. I can understand that that might be really hard for someone like you to admit. But hard to the point where you start running the very great risk of losing him? For good?"

"Does he look like he’s going anywhere?"

C.J. stared for a minute then walked toward the door. Hand on the knob, he faced Alex.

"You tell me, man."

Alex watched the other man walk out, but he didn’t immediately follow. Still leaning against the sink, he stared down at the floor.

Back at the table, Fox watched C.J. approach and sit down. He looked curiously in the direction of the men’s room then back at C.J.

"Where’s Alex?"

"He’ll be along," C.J. answered. "Fox, listen. I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but in my opinion, being so submissive is not going to help Alex with whatever his problem is."

"You don’t know what his problem is," Fox said softly. "What did you say to him in there?"

"I simply tried to find out what kind of drama we’re into now. And I told him he really should stop being such a dick and handle his business the right way."

"Leave him alone, C.J.," Fox pleaded more than ordered. "He doesn’t need any aggravation."

"And you don’t need to treated like an object."

"You don’t know what I need," Fox whispered.

"Listen, Fox. You and Alex are not your everyday Dom and sub. You’re too headstrong. Alex understood that, and he...wanted you so much, he was willing to make modifications to try and give you what you both needed. Now, all of a sudden, you’re going to tell me that you want to be treated like the people who walk into the dungeon and pay to be humiliated? I ain’t buyin’ it."

Mick and Lucas split their attention between the two men, listening quietly as they went back and forth.

"C.J., please. Just leave it alone. I can handle it, okay?"

C.J. opened his mouth to say more, but he caught sight of Alex approaching and decided to quit before things got out of hand.

Alex took his seat, and Fox’s head quickly lowered. Saying nothing, Alex picked up his menu and began to read. C.J. kept glancing from him to Fox, hoping something would have changed. It wasn’t until the server arrived and everyone else had ordered that Alex spoke.

"I’ll have the twelve ounce filet, medium...baked sweet potato and the house salad."

"And for your companion?" the server asked less than cordially. Alex spared her a glance then looked to Fox.

"What would you like, Fox?"

Fox’s head rose, and he gave Alex a confused look. "I...I thought..." His head went down again. "I hadn’t looked at the menu."

Alex turned his attention to the woman.

"Give us a few minutes."

As the surprised server turned to leave, Fox spoke.

"No. No, I don’t want to hold everyone’s dinner up. I’ll have what you’re having."

Then everyone had something to say.

"No, Fox, it’s okay."

"You take your time and look the menu over."

"We’re not starving to death; we can wait."

Alex nodded at the server, who was still standing there, and she smiled down at Fox.

"Take your time, honey. I’ll be back in a while."

Alex watched the woman leave, then he turned to Fox.

"Have a look at your menu, Fox, so you can be ready to order when your girlfriend comes back."

Fox’s head lifted, and he fixed a wide-eyed stare on Alex.

"I...I didn’t..."

"I was kidding," Alex explained flatly, cutting Fox off, then he nodded at the menu.

"I..." Fox looked down at the heavily embossed bill of fare, but he didn’t open it. He closed his mouth and said nothing more.

"You don’t have to have the same thing I’m having," Alex insisted quietly.

"But...I want to."

Alex studied Fox for a moment then nodded. When the server returned, the men ordered then continued to pick at their appetizers while they made small talk.

"So," Lucas began. "Where’d you and Alex meet, Fox?"

Fox glanced at Alex, but the other man said nothing. He merely lifted his glass to his lips and sipped at his wine. Fox cleared his throat softly and answered.

"Work."

"Work. Yours or his?"

"We worked together."

Everyone seemed to lean forward at once, waiting for Fox to elaborate, but he said nothing more. So C.J. pushed a bit.

"Where’d you work?"

Again Fox looked to Alex, and still he remained silent.

"We worked for the government."

"Oh! I thought maybe you’d done something before you joined the FBI. So, Alex...you were a g-man?!"

Alex gave him a blank stare.

"Damn," C.J. said, shaking his head. "I’d ask why you’re not there any more, but I’m sure you wouldn’t tell me."

"So, Fox," Lucas cut in. "You’re still in?"

"Yes."

"No shit! Really?"

Fox nodded.

Lucas chuckled. "Jeez, I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing to have an FBI agent as a friend."

"You working on any big cases?" Mick asked, enthralled.

"N-not really."

"What d’you usually investigate? Gangland murders? Drug smuggling rings?"

"Sometimes. But my area of investigation is usually quite different than that."

Now Mick was really interested.

"Yeah? Like what?"

Another glance at Alex. "Umm...paranormal type stuff."

C.J.’s eyebrows shot up. "You mean like ghosts?"

"Way cool!" Lucas squealed, leaning farther in. "Can you tell us about some of your cases?"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," C.J. interrupted. "You’re telling us there’s a section of the FB friggin’ I that deals with ghosts and ghouls?"

"And other types of unexplained phenomena."

"And Alex, you were involved in this at one time?"

Alex finally spoke.

"You sounds skeptical."

"No...well, I...I’ve never experienced anything paranormal, so I guess it’s hard to wrap my mind around it." He looked from one man to the other. "Have you ever actually seen something you couldn’t explain?"

"Plenty," Alex said, and when it was clear that was all he planned to say, C.J. turned to Fox.

"You too?"

"We could be here for a week, and it wouldn’t be enough time for me to tell you about all I’ve seen."

Lucas bounced up and down in his chair like an excited child.

"Tell us about one... please?"

I don’t know, I..." He looked at Alex, seeking permission. Alex gave him a shrug and took another sip of wine.

As Fox recounted the story of Robert Modell, the food arrived, and his friends encouraged him to continue as they ate.

"Are you serious?" Lucas asked around a mouthful of lobster ravioli. "Russian roulette?"

Fox nodded.

Lucas stared. "And you put the gun to your head and pulled the trigger. Not almost pulled the trigger. Pulled. The trigger."

"Yes."

"And you couldn’t stop yourself?"

"...No."

"That’s insane," Mick breathed. "But you resisted when he made you turn the gun on your partner."

" I was very close to pulling the trigger. If she hadn’t hit the fire alarm, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to keep from killing her."

C.J. rested his face in his hand and frowned.

"This is interesting. It seems you fought him alot harder when he tried to make you shoot Scully than when you turned the gun on yourself."

Fox shrugged.

"You had such little regard for your own life?"

Alex looked from C.J. to Fox, waiting for an answer.

"It...I guess it wasn’t something I ever thought about."

"I love to psychoanalyze people," C.J. said with a sheepish grin. "Call it a hobby. Anyway, I’d be curious to know if there were other times when you’d unnecessarily put your life in danger."

Fox lifted one shoulder and let it drop. "I guess it depends on who you talked to about that. Scully would tell you yes."

"Hmm. Why do you suppose that was?"

"You’re out of your depth, C.J.," Alex said flatly.

"What d’you mean?"

"Just what I said. You’re talking to as complex a man as you’ll ever meet. If you had the rest of your life to figure him out, you wouldn’t be able to do it."

C.J. grinned at his friend. "Really. Well, what about you, Alex?" He winked at Fox. "You got a lock on what makes him tick?"

"I know what a master needs to know about his slave."

At that, Fox’s head lowered. Mick saw the hurt in his eyes before his head went down, and he squeezed C.J.’s knee and quickly changed the subject.

"So, what other weird cases have you had, Fox?"

Still looking at the table, Fox shrugged and shook his head.

"Aww, come on, Fox," Lucas coaxed. "This is fascinating stuff."

"I...I don’t...maybe another time, okay?"

Lucas shot Mick and C.J. a concerned look, then it turned sympathetic as he looked to Fox.

"Sure, Fox. That’s okay."

The men finished their meals while Fox only picked, and when they were finished, Alex paid the bill while they chatted over the last of their coffee.

"So, what’re you guys doing tonight?" Lucas asked C.J. and Mick.

"Well, I gotta spend a couple of hours at the club. I got a few appointments I couldn’t get out of."

"Aw, man. What’re you gonna do while he’s in the dungeon, Mick?"

Mick shrugged. "Just hang out." He smirked at C.J. "Hope he’s not too tired afterward to give me a good spanking."

"Ha," C.J. murmured, anchoring his fingers in Mick’s hair and pulling him in for a deep kiss. "Never."

Mick growled softly then smiled at Lucas. "You wanna hang out with me for a while?"

"Sure!" Lucas grinned brightly. "I was dreading going home and being bored. Hey, what’re you guys doing after this?" he asked Alex. "Maybe we could all hang at the club together."

"I’m tired," Alex said softly. "We’re going home."

"Oh," Lucas whispered, looking at Fox out of the corner of his eye. "Okay, well...thanks large for dinner. It was really nice of you."

"Yeah, Alex," C.J. added. "Everything was delicious." And Mick agreed.

"You’re welcome. And thank you for your help," Alex said in the first real show of graciousness that evening. He paid the tab, and the friends walked out to the parking lot together. Mick and C.J. arm in arm, Lucas alongside C.J., and Fox walking a few paces behind Alex. As they parted company, they thanked Alex again, said goodbye to Fox, and with one last meaningful look from C.J. to Alex, everyone got into their respective cars and drove away.

Fox sat quietly, staring out the window at the passing buildings. For several blocks Alex kept his eyes on the road, but then they wandered in Fox’s direction. When the older man didn’t look back, his eyes went back to the road. A couple of minutes later, he spoke softly.

"When we get home, go to my room and undress. Wait for me there."

The words sank into Fox’s brain, and he turned slightly, looking up at Alex through his lashes. A slight nod was his only response, and he turned back to the window, fixing a now unfocused gaze on the passing scenery. Minutes later, they pulled up to Alex’s building, and Fox followed Alex into the elevator. They made the ride up in silence, and when the door opened, Alex stepped out first. Fox crept along behind him and waited with his head down as Alex unlocked the door. When they entered the apartment, he went without delay to Alex’s bedroom and began to strip off his clothes.

Remaining in the living room, Alex walked over to the glass door as he undid the first couple of buttons on his shirt. Leaning against the door frame, he watched the criss- crossing headlights of passing cars, and though he was too high up for the glare to hurt his eyes, he closed them and leaned his head against the glass.

The dream hadn’t come to torment him last night. Maybe that last one was just one of those things. Maybe he wouldn’t have it again.

If you don’t, you can let him stay in your bed tomorrow night.

But Fox had been so unhappy tonight.

Yes, he knew it. He didn’t need C.J.’s stunning insight to tell him that.

And yet there was that crack about masters and slaves. There was no kindness, not even a smile. You know just the smallest show of tenderness would have been enough to comfort him. If you fuck him then send him to the spare room, you deserve to wake up tomorrow morning and find him and all his stuff gone.

Sighing heavily, he opened his eyes and watched the thinning traffic for a while longer, then turned and headed toward the bedroom. He opened the door and found Fox standing in the left hand corner of the room, eyes to the floor.

"What...what are you doing, Fox?"

"You told me to get undressed and wait for you," Fox answered in a bare whisper.

And that’s just what he’s done. No more, no less.

Sighing very softly, Alex unbuttoned and removed his shirt, draping over the chair. Fox remained in the corner, eyes to the floor as Alex finished getting undressed, and it wasn’t until the younger man got into bed and called his name that he lifted his gaze.

"Come here."

Fox shuffled over to the bed, and Alex flipped the covers back and motioned for him to get in. Carefully, Fox slid in between the sheets and sat waiting for his next instructions.

Propped against the pillows, Alex studied the older man’s profile. Thick lock of hair spilling over onto his forehead. Eyes, usually a clear, beautiful hazel, now dull, muddy brown and heavily shaded by drooping lashes. And that sinfully sexy mouth, turned down into a heartbreaking pout.

"...Are you unhappy, Fox?"

"No..." Fox cleared his throat and began again. "No, Alex."

"I don’t believe you." And he waited.

Fox gave no answer. He wasn’t being insubordinate; he simply didn’t know how to respond.

"You want to be my slave."

"Yes, Alex." No hesitation.

"But on your terms."

Fox blinked and looked up at Alex.

"I...is that how you feel? Is that why you’re unhappy with me?"

"You’re the one who seems unhappy, Fox. Because things aren’t the way you want them."

"No. No, it’s not that." He had that deer caught in the headlights look that twisted Alex’s guts. "I just...I don’t understand why..." He closed his mouth and looked down.

"Why what?"

"Why you’ve been so..." He couldn’t bring himself to finish.

"Say it."

Fox’s lower lip quivered a bit before he firmed it and made himself say the word.

"Cold."

"Is that what you feel I’ve been?"

"...Yes, Alex."

Alex waited several long seconds before he reached up and tangled his fingers in Fox’s hair. He pulled the older man down then rolled on top of him, taking his mouth in a passionate but restrained kiss. Fox’s response was immediate and welcoming, opening his mouth to the gentle, insistent push of Alex’s tongue.

He tasted like wine and rich coffee, and Fox couldn’t get enough. It had been days since Alex had kissed him, and he had begun to feel as though there would never be any intimacy between them again.

Alex moaned softly and deepened the kiss, drinking in Fox’s needy whimper. Fingers clenched in the older man’s hair, his hips began a gentle grind. Two stony erections rubbed together, and Fox gasped into Alex’s mouth and lifted his hips to gain more contact. Alex pulled out of the kiss then, and he turned a heated gaze on the man writhing beneath him.

"Is this cold?"

Struggling to control his respiration, Fox shook his head.

"No, Alex," Alex murmured into Fox’s ear before biting into the tender flesh of his throat.

A harsh gasp preceded Fox’s desperately whispered, "No, Alex," then he turned his head to the side, giving Alex better access.

Leaving a mark that was sure to last at least a week, Alex moved lower, sucking the uninjured nipple into his mouth. A strangled cry fell from Fox’s lips, and his fingers dug into Alex’s shoulders as he arched against him.

"God.....oh....mmmmh."

He’d be confused later. Right now all he wanted to do was feel. And enjoy the attention he’d missed so desperately.

Alex sucked hard, flicking his tongue rapidly over the rigid peak, and Fox cried his name, a plea for release contained in the single word. But Alex wasn’t quite finished with him. Withdrawing, he reached over, pulling open the nightstand drawer and withdrew the lube. He moved to his knees between the other man’s parted legs then helped him lift them onto his shoulders. Coating two fingers, he brushed the tips of them over Fox’s anus and watched the older man’s satisfying reaction.

Gathering up fistfuls of silk sheets, Fox squirmed and pushed against the teasing fingers. Alex worked one inside of him, and he sobbed his lover’s name, pushing hard against it.

"Don’t move."

Fox’s eyes snapped open, and he stared up at Alex, not quite believing what he’d just heard.

"And I want you to be quiet."

Was he fucking serious?

At that point, he inserted the second finger, and Fox bit down on the inside of his lip to remain silent, and he forced himself to stay still. His eyes closed to help him concentrate on his impossible task, and Alex went and made it worse by softly demanding that Fox open his eyes and look at him.

Black-green eyes zeroed in on the tortured man’s face, and Alex began to slowly finger fuck him. A light sheen of sweat broke out on Fox’s brow as he struggled against the sensations Alex’s fingers inside of him were producing. Being quiet during sex, he found, was not something he excelled at, and doing so now was murder. But he’d do it if it was what Alex wanted.

"Is it hard?" Alex asked, his tone soft and sandpaper rough. "Being quiet and still?"

"Yes..." Small whimper. "...Alex."

"Discipline, Fox. It makes me happy when you obey me."

A frown formed on Fox’s brow, and he blinked back a sudden rush of tears. He wanted to challenge the statement. Ask why, if that was so, had Alex relegated him to the spare bedroom, and why had he begun treating him like nothing more than a slave, and...and...he’d been good, he reasoned. He’d been so good...

His thoughts fragmented and were forgotten when Alex’s fingers were withdrawn and replaced by his cock. He stifled a sob and forced himself to remain motionless as Alex began to move slowly inside him. It felt so good. God, it felt so good. Alex’s hands on him, stroking, caressing. His mouth. So soft and warm. The cold void in his eyes, gone...

He could almost make himself believe that the last few days hadn’t happened. That the Alex who had surfaced during that time had been just a figment of his overly-fertile imagination. It had hurt to be made to feel like nothing special, like he didn’t matter. It...he would be Alex’s slave, happily...always. But he couldn’t take the coldness. With the exception of sex, the almost complete lack of contact. The total lack of affection. He’d been so lonely. So alone.

But he’d told Alex that he was going to stay. That he would do anything Alex wanted. Be anything he wanted if it would help Alex deal with the horrors of his past. He’d promised.

But nothing he’d done so far had seemed to help. It wasn’t until tonight that Alex seemed to have come around a bit, and Fox wasn’t entirely sure that it wasn’t due to whatever C.J. had said to him while they were in the men’s room. While he wished that C.J. had not confronted Alex, Fox had to admit that at the moment at least, he was grateful for C.J.’s interference.

Alex pushed slowly into Fox, moaning as he completed the long glide home. As he began to withdraw, his hand found the rigid length of Fox’s erection, and he stroked it gently. Fox’s lips pressed together as he struggled to keep from crying out. It was torture when everything inside of him screamed to react, but he retained a tenuous grip on his composure, and Alex rewarded him for it.

"Fox." The word came out in a shaky rush as Alex thrust harder and deeper. "It’s okay." He tightened his grip and began to pump the other man’s cock more vigorously. "Come on. Let me hear it."

Fox released a relieved, gurgling cry, and his hips snapped upward, pushing against Alex, then he quickly fell back to the bed, remembering that Alex had not given him permission to move.

"It’s all right," Alex whispered, dropping his head to nip at Fox’s ear before rasping into it, "Help me, Fox."

Fox’s mouth fell open, and a loud whimper fell out as gratefully, he wrapped his arms around Alex and began to move against him. Alex’s groan vibrated in his ear, and he rocked almost frantically against the younger man, desperate for the explosion which was now well within his reach.

Alex increased the strength of his thrusts, drawing a strangled sob from Fox as he nudged the other man’s prostate.

"That’s the spot, huh, baby?" He hit it again, and Fox came apart. A hot gush of semen coated his hand as Fox screamed and convulsed around him.

"Nnnh. Oh, yeah," Alex grunted as Fox’s muscles tightened around his cock, and he came hard, emptying himself into his lover. He finished on a long, satisfied moan, and he collapsed on top of the older man, drawing in breath after labored breath. Several minutes passed before he moved, turning onto his back with a soft sigh. Without being asked to, Fox slipped out of bed and padded into the bathroom. Alex heard the water go on, and shortly afterward, Fox returned and sat on the edge of the bed. Gingerly, he washed Alex’s spent cock, then he carried the cloth back into the bathroom.

While Fox had been washing him, Alex had watched him silently, studying his every move, drinking in his quiet beauty, and he’d wanted so much to pull Fox into his arms and kiss him senseless, but something wouldn’t let him.

When Fox once again emerged from the bathroom, the discomfort in his expression was plain. He stood by the door, not knowing what to do now.

"I...um...w-what do you..."

Alex sat up a bit and called softly to Fox. Glittering eyes looked up to the younger man’s face, and Fox waited.

"Come back to bed."

Fox hoped Alex wouldn’t hear his heart thrashing, but the closer he got to the bed, the more sure he was that it was about to pound out of his chest. He quietly slipped between the sheets and lay on his back. He was only inches from Alex, but it felt like miles. He watched as Alex reached above his head and pulled out the restraints that were still there and lay docilely as he was gently cuffed.

Lying on his side, Alex rested his head on one arm as he reached out to tenderly pet Fox’s hair.

"Are you tired?"

Fox cleared his throat. "A...a little."

Alex was quiet for a moment then spoke again.

"Tomorrow, we’ll go out to dinner, just the two of us. Would you like that?"

"Yes...yes, Alex."

"Your eyes are getting heavy."

Well, it was hard to stay alert with Alex’s hand stroking soothingly through his hair.

"Go to sleep." The words were uttered so softly that had Fox not been paying close attention, he might have missed them. Obediently, he closed his eyes, and less than fifteen minutes later, he was indeed, asleep.

Alex remained awake for a while longer, languidly combing his fingers through Fox’s hair, watching him sleep. Trying to forget the last few days and the cold way he’d treated the only man who would ever be crazy enough to love him.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you really going to let a few bad memories and a couple of nightmares get in the way of what you want?

Staring intently at the sleeping man, he sighed softly. He turned to shut the light off and, moving closer, he wound an arm around Fox and closed his eyes.

Tonight is our last night together for a while, Alex. Let’s do something special.

A deep frown creased the forehead of the slumbering man, and a soft, deep sound rumbled in his chest.

Take off your clothes.

Alex’s respiration quickened, and he rolled away from Fox and onto his back.

Do you know what this is, Alex? It’s called a dildo. Big, isn’t it? Let’s see how much of this you can take, shall we?

Alex whimpered softly in the dark stillness of his bedroom.

"No."

No. Please...

Now, Alex. Big boys don’t cry. And you’re a big boy, aren’t you? Get on your hands and knees.

"No!"

Fox’s eyes snapped open, and after a brief struggle with the restraints, he sat up. He reached blindly for the lamp and turned it on, gasping as he looked into wide, terrified eyes.

"Alex." Gently, he touched the shaking man’s arm and jumped when Alex recoiled quickly from his hand. "It’s me, Alex. It’s Fox."

Alex sat panting for a moment, staring at Fox, then he bolted out of bed. Fox watched, confused as Alex barreled around the room, gathering up clothing.

"What...what are you doing?"

Alex didn’t answer as he began throwing the things on.

"Alex, where are you going?" Fox got up and walked over to Alex, hoping he could calm the agitated man and get him to talk. "Tell me what you were dreaming about. It’s supposed to help if you talk about it."

"It was nothing," Alex rasped, jerking on his shirt and hastily doing up the buttons. "Go back to bed."

"It wasn’t nothing," Fox argued, following Alex as he headed for the door. "Alex, please." He grasped the younger man’s shoulders, and before he could turn him around, Alex spun around on his own and slammed Fox into the nearest wall.

"Don’t fucking touch me," he hissed then snatched his hands away.

Too shocked to speak, Fox watched as Alex whirled around and disappeared through the door. He stood there, back to the wall and listened to the living room door open and slam shut. He didn’t know how long he remained in that spot, staring at the floor, his mind trying to process what had happened and come up with a way to fix it. When he finally moved, he shuffled dazedly back to the bed and paused for a moment before pulling off the rumpled sheets. Discarding them into the hamper, he put on a fresh set, made the bed then dragged himself into the spare room, where he lay wide awake, staring into the darkness and listening to the silence.

End chapter eleven

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