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Bonnie at 3 years old
Bonnie in her 20's
Memories graphic
Bonnie at 6 months old

The Way We Were

Memories light the corner of my mind. Misty water color memories Of the way we were. Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind, Smiles we gave to one another For the way we were. Can it be that it was all so simple then, Or has time rewritten every line? If we had the chance to do it all again, Tell me? would we? could we? Memories may be beautiful and yet, What's too painful to remember We simply choose to forget. So it's the laughter We will remember, Whenever we remember The way we were; The way we were.

Bonnie in Kindergarden

I remember when: My daughter would ride her bike back and forth to grammar school. One day, when she came home from school about a half-hour late, I asked where she had been. She said "Oh Mom, I am sorry that I'm so late, but I came home the back alley way, and when I got to the middle of the alley a flock of ducks started to cross in front of me. I just could not get through until they finished passing." I asked why it took so long and she responded with "You know, ducks are pretty slow".

Bonnie did not particularly like one of her babysitters and could not understand her because she spoke another language. She was very young then, about 2nd grade, and she decided she was going to run away. She woke up in the middle of the night, went in and woke up one of her younger brothers and told him that they were running away. He did not know what was going on and told her that he was not running away anywhere with her. Now that she did not have a partner in crime, she just decided to give it up and went back to bed.
The children's father was very strict. We had gotten a divorce about a year after my youngest was born. Every summer my three children would visit their father and older brother for a few weeks. Like everyone else, they did not like certain foods. That did not matter to their father, who insisted they eat everything that was put on their plate. Bonnie's brother hated fish, and this one particular evening they had catfish for dinner. He sat at that table for hours after everyone finished, with that fish on his plate. Finally Bonnie walked past him, picked up his fish, stuck it in her pocket, and then flushed it down the toilet.  
One day I received a phone call at work (this was just one of hundreds). It was from a neighbor, who was telling me that my son got burnt very badly. I rushed home to take him to the doctors, but it was not until we got back home that I heard and saw how this terrible thing happened. My daughter decided to make candles, just like her older brother did, but the candle wax spilled and the kitchen caught on fire. Her younger brother put the fire out and received 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his hand.

Then there was the time that Bonnie called me at work and said "Mu eeggtt mu tttng coott". I said "What!" And she repeated the same thing again, only slower, as if that would help. I finally got it , and once again I was rushing home this time to get my daughter to a dentist, because she had her tongue caught in her braces.



From a very young age my daughter was very spiritual, in the sense that she would see spirits. She claimed that her girlfriends mother would make things fly around the house. There were a number of times she would ask if someone died in her room, which I did not know the answer to. Now and then she would see an elderly lady sitting at the foot of her bed. I think it was my grandmother, who named Bonnie Jean, then died just before she was born. On this one particular evening, Bonnie proclaimed that a spirit told her that she was going to die the next day at 11:00am. So, Bonnie and I stayed awake all night talking and keeping each other strong and when 11:00 rolled around and she was still alive, she decided she was tired and went to bed, just like it never happened.


One time Bonnie was arrested for trying to operate a call girl service. Now it did not go past me that she was going out all dressed up every evening. I asked her why she was so dresses up, and she said that IBM hired her to go to the airport and meet important businessmen, and take them out to a nice dinner. I hated to tell her that I did not believe her because there were so many stories and I did not think they could all be false. How wrong I was. Life with Bonnie just never seemed to get any easier, not for her or for me, but of course, I loved my baby girl very much.

Bonnie kept herself away from me for many years and when we finally made up with each other, we lived in different states. We were able to visit each other and became closer than I ever prayed for. On one trip out to Texas from California she hit a deer. Well as the story goes, she was afraid that she killed it, so she pulled the car over to check on it. She thought it was hurt and put it in her two-door car to take it to get help. Bonnie got back in the car and as she was driving down the highway the deer came to, and wanted to get out of the car. At this point I can not even imagine what was going on in that car. Well she pulled over, opened the door, and the deer jumped out and ran. Knowing my daughter, I had no doubt that she some how got that deer into the car and was absolutely sick about hitting it. She was definitely a lover of all animals and of all nature.



Less than two years before she died, her older brother hung himself. Bonnie came out to Texas for the funeral. She had already reconnected with me, but was still trying to reconnect with the rest of the family. She did not reconnect with him before he died, but I heard that as soon as she got to Heaven she straightened him out. I guess the last time all my kids were together was when my baby son had his terrible car accident. He looked so bad that Bonnie almost fainted when she saw him. I will never have to worry about getting all my kids together again, for one day we will all be together in Heaven.


The last time I saw my daughter, one year ago this month of September, we definitely had a good time together. My daughter, granddaughter and I went to a psychic to have our past lives read. We wanted to find out if we had spent other lives together. We had, and we will be spending more lives together. How wonderful the miracle of life is. It is so painful to see anything happen to your children. Your heart just splits apart when they die.
Waking skies - at sunrise Every sunset too Seems to be - bringing me Memories of you Here and there - every where Scenes that we once knew And they all - just recall Memories of you Your face beams - in my dreams (In) Spite of all I do Everything - seems to bring Memories of you

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