[life vs. school] 4.27.00 And so this is it?? We are now the graduating class of what year!! I have been in school for 16 years - practically all of my life... and now I am supposed to go where?? Harldy believeable! Why is it that we students and 'leaders of tomorrow' can be suddenly cast into 'the real world' after living for sooooo long in a school system?? Don't get me wrong - just because we go to school does not mean that we are oblivious or inexperienced with 'the real world'. Not by any means! Because there are many of us who have been doing just that in our everyday struggle to balance school, meetings, jobs, bills, peers, our social obligations, and of course our minds! We know the meaning of 'the real world' from the tender age of 5 whether you realize it or not... maybe even earlier! But how can we suddenly know what to do with our lives? There is no magic day when it suddenly becomes evident what you want to be... How can we know if all we know is a school system? How can we know for sure that when we bubbled in 'Computer Science' as a major that it would be all we ever imagined.... Even if you get all A's - how do you abruptly apply all your institutional knowledge from McClough's 5th edition to a career on May 6th because somebody told you you're free to go?? How? Just a thought....

[shallow azz people] 5.04.00 I want to know what the deal is with people that can't have an actual conversation when you want to talk about something real. I mean I'm in college and learning all these vocab words for what?!? But let's talk about who's man I saw at the mall, or what we're wearing to the party tonight - and you have a mouthful to add! What's the matter with discussing some things that actually matter.... Don't get me wrong - I like talking about some things that are just entertaining. But why get all depressed when it comes time to talk about something we need to learn from?? It's called elevation! Just a thought....

[professional lunchs] 6.05.00 Okay, so let's think about these things - office luncheons! Aaaah yes... 6 foot sandwiches, cute little triangled sandwhich pieces, fruits, meat and cheese, pretzels, onion bagels, and soda!! Yes... The fine foods that the wonderful professional people eat all the time! Or is it??.... Of course it's not! It's 12:00 and people are hungry!! We don't want cheese and meat on a stick! We don't want grapes and cottage cheese. We want ribs! We want lasagna!! We want a wine cooler even! But for some reason, the beautiful people don't eat these kinds of decrepid foods at 'professional luncheons'. Nooo - it wouldn't be right! Because then we would all have mustard and BBQ sauce dripping down our chins while trying to kiss some professional butt! Well I say, if that's what we're there to do - at least make the butt taste good!! Throw some hot sauce on a wing... then we'll be talkin!! But nooo.... it would be unprofessional. It's a luncheon - where people just come to talk and network over onion bagels. ONION bagels! We have to TALK to people holding ONION bagels!! I'll never understand this mix and mingle thing over a six foot sandwich staring at me, saying, "Eat me all!" No - I won't do that! I'll just grab a plate of two grapes, stale cookies, some cheese, and onion bagels. Then proceed to introduce myself to everyone in the room and babble about my career objectives and who I know and who they know... All while my stomach is grumbling so loud that I'm sure it has introduced itself to everyone else in the room also! I just don't get these professional luncheons.... Does anyone?? Just a thought....

[gettin a job] 10.04.00 Okay, let's address this now... I'm not bitter, but I'm sure people have been in a situation when they're trying to find a job and just can't. The whole process is straining and to the point where the objective is totally missed! You want to find a job. You want a job that you like. You want to learn. You want to make money! In your quest for all these things, someone, somewhere is looking for you too hopefully. But just how long will it take for this someone to find you? You go on interviews and try to remember all those bullshit tips about first impressions and interview etiquette. You have so much going through your mind that you almost forget how to sit down in a chair! 'Does my resume speak for me?' 'Did I wear the right clothes?' 'Did I sound formal enough on the phone?' 'Did I call back too soon?' 'Do I seem desperate?' 'Do I have enough to even offer them?!'....Fuck it!! In the midst of all these thoughts - you remember that you are just a person. And that - guess what?? The interviewer is just a person too! They are not omnipotent, all-knowing monsters on the other end of the line or the other side of the desk! You realize that they need you just as much as you need them! Let's switch seats and interview them! If they can't even return an email or a phone call, while you sweat bullets or bite your nails off waiting for a response - then, MAYBE - just MAYBE... you don't want them SOB's! Why are you worried about being unprofessional - when that is what they are?! Just a thought...

[quality time] 10.27.00 It used to be that people wanted quality time with each other... Now - people just need QT with their computers! When you come in from work, and throw down your bags, what's the first thing you do?? Check the mail? Check your answering machine? Open the fridge? NO! You check your email! And visit your homepage guestbook to see if anyone has signed it! And don't tell me you don't! Because if you're reading this now, that means you have set aside some QT with your computer... And you know it's especially true if you and your computer are on a first name basis... (Mine is named BIG BLUE. He pimps me all the time!) It has become so bad, that you lose track of time and find people annoying. You even wish they'd get their own computer just so they could leave you alone... It's time my people!! Time to spend some QT with your computer... And time with all your other inanimate objects too! The TV, the remote, the fridge, the bed, everything! Isn't it?? Just a thought...

[the mad engine starter] 11.03.00 Okay, you all know this has happened to you at least three times! You're walking down the street, minding your own business, and you realize you have a wedgie! You look around... look around... No one. Cool - it's safe to pick it out. And THEN! [vrroooomm] That's right! Someone just sitting in their parked car along the road decides that now is the perfect time to start up the engine! Why!!!! You're crossin the street - jaywalking as usual. You decide to let your stomach out a lil bit as you pass in front of this red Corolla. And [vrroooomm]! The driver was just WAITING for you to notice them and decided to start the engine up right as you walked in front of their bumper! America - I emplore you - what is wrong with this people! Why must they do these things? Why are they sitting in parked cars? How long have they been sitting there? And most importantly, how long have they been WATCHING you!?! I just don't know... Do they do this to get our attention as we walk by? Was their engine incapable of starting just 2 seconds before you passed by them?? If you know the answer to any of these questions, or happen to be one of these suspicious people, please let me know why they are doing this.... Just a thought...