California love edition.

The Slapper
Big Pimpin'


He's your muthafuckin conscience.

Welcome to "The Slapper."
We are not listed on NASDAQ.
Click here if you hate gerbils.

Do you think Dr. Dre is right to sue Napster?
Yes. I think Napster is engaging in widespread copyright infringement.
No. I think the free distribution of information includes music files such as MP3s.
Fuck that shit. He oughta bust a cap in they ass.
Fuck that shit. Dre be frontin'.
What the hell is a Napster?
I think Dr. Dre should get back together with Ed Lover and do Yo! MTV Raps.

We have got up in the face of playa haters since October 1999.

Email us, beeeyitch:

mail@theslapper.com

Drop joints in the guest book.
Or see what others have said.

Link sausage available here.
See this page the way Jesus would want it.

Click below to spend G's:

BRAND FFFREAKIN' NEW!!!
Fire the Lawyers
Dylan Fulmer thinks Aggy bonfire victims' parents are right not to sue.

Intro to Oswego
Pete Kelleher continues to talk about Upstate New York for our edification.

SLIGHTLY MOLDY
An Email from John Gullo
"I attached a zip file to this email. In this zip file, I have included three pictures and 10 unfunny jokes. Remember, the jokes are unfunny."

understatement
The Slapper's new brother e-zine.

OPINION
There Will Come Soft Rains
Pete Kelleher proposes a sane, healthy way to combat mosquito-borne encephalitis while slurping enough coffee to roil the guts of a lesser man.

Jealous Again
Mike Hogan reviews the work of two authors so good they made him want to crawl under a rock and die

ARTS
Jesus Christ Stupidstar
A scorching review of Broadway's lamest new musical.

Art Student Confidential
"Donald Beachler is successful because he figured out the most complicated and expensive way to make a stupid image, which is exactly what the art world wants and needs to carry on it's supreme decadence and corruption...."

Grand Reissue
"Filmed three years before the outbreak of World War II, Grand Illusion conceives of war as little more than a game played among gentlemen.

John Hogan Defends Midnite Vultures
"The important thing to pay attention to on Midnite Vultures is the lyrics, because therein the 'meaning,' or 'joke,' lies. A mistake that is easy to make is to listen to the music, not hear the words, and assume that Beck has simply become a nerd...."

SPORTS
Wrestling Lowdown: Taz Mania
The return of a Slapper institution--with a new and mysterious author!

Remembering "Pistol Pete"
"Bird I liked simply because he was a Celtic and a tough competitor, but Pete Maravich bordered on mystical...."

Wilde Bitch on Sports
Some really important sports news that you're going to care a lot about...

PLUS
The 100 Lamest Bands of All Time
This list is guaranteed to piss you off.

A Resurrected Guide to Malt Liquor
"Magnum--This is the most condensed, painful 40 ounces of liquid ever created. It is dangerous, ugly, poison, and will make you ask for your mommy shortly after you step out bed with her, just after having gotten to 'know her.'"...

Detective Grande
Who stole that painting from Mike and Kristen's hallway?

All articles and writings on this site 1999-2000 by the authors.

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