From: MrGullo@aol.com | Block address
Date: Wed, 12 Apr 2000 19:23:33 EDT
Subject: (no subject)
To: mail@theslapper.com
Mike-
Howdy. I attached a zip file to this email. In this zip file, I have included three pictures and 10 unfunny jokes. Remember, the jokes are unfunny.
--juan
Q: How many British vollyball players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six
A nun, a priest, and Billy Idol walk into a bar. The three member of this odd group form a huddle next to the bar. They whisper in each other's ears for five minutes, then they order three Budweisers. When the confused bartender asked why they were whispering, the priest responded, "We had to decide what we wanted to drink."
A man who is in the hospital having an in-growing toenail removed is meeting with his doctor after the surgery. "How'm I doing?" he asks the doctor.
"Well," the doctor replies, "I've got bad news and good news. The bad news is that you've got brain cancer."
"I can't believe it Doc, I've got brain cancer! What's the good news?"
"Your in-growing toenail is gone."
Q: What's the difference between a dead lawyer laying in the middle of the street and a dead plumber laying in the middle of the street?
A: The dead lawyer doesn't have fecal matter all over his work boots.
Q: Why did all the little boys in Jeremy's fourth grade class spend every lunch period beating him up and spitting in his hair?
A: Because he was different.
Two lumberjacks are competing in a tree cutting contest. Lumberjack Timmy, last year's tree cutting contest winner, was bragging to the press before the contest. "I'm going to cut down so many trees in today's tree cutting contest, that there won't be any trees left on the whole mountain." The press, eager for controversy, immediately flocked to Timmy's opponent, Lumberjack Jacques.
"Lumberjack Jacques, what is your response to Lumberjack Timmy's comments from earlier today?" asked a reporter.
Lumberjack Jacques responded curtly, "I don't care what Timmy said because he is an asshole."
Q: Why did the minority cross the road?
A: To buy a turnip.
Q: What is long, hard, and holds up telephone wires?
A: A phone pole
An Irishman, an Italian, and a Jew are all shipwrecked on a desert island. One day a fancy bottle washes up on shore and the Jew brings it to the others, who promptly open it. A genie appears and speaks, "Thank you for freeing me from this bottle. As a reward, I grant you men three wishes."
The Italian goes first, "I wishah I was back in a Italy, eating pasta ." The Italian is immediately returned to Palermo, were he eats pasta.
The Irishman speaks next, "I wish I was back in Dublin, having a Pint at the pub." The Irishman immediately returned to Dublin, were he drinks a Pint at the pub.
The Jew goes last and says, "I wish I was back home in Boca Raton, having a nice glass of Manishevitts." The genie blinks and the Jew is back in Boca Raton, having a nice glass of Manishevitts.
Q: What do the Challenger Astronauts, President Richard Nixon, and Mark Twain have in common?
A: They are all dead.
This link leads back to The Slapper.
