My Poetry
This is my poetry.. I write when I am very depressed, so be surprised if you find anything happy on this page. I have written very few happy poems. I beleive that poetry is often a window into someones soul. My poetry is very personal to me. I have only been in the same room as someone reading my poem once. I hope that you like them. I dedicate this page to every person that has hurt me. May they have found peace as I have.
Do You Know
Do you know what it's like to give someone your heart,
to give it to them in it's full entirety
To give them your love, and I mean every little ounce of it
And then to have them reach into your chest and rip it out,
and hold it in front of you, squeezing it, seeing how much they can hurt you,
or so it seems.
Do you know what it's like for your brain to tell you to let go,
but your heart tells you he might still love you,
for your heart to say wait and see, wait just a little bit longer.
My hearts tired of hurting, tired of waiting.
I want your love, but if you have to love left for me, let me go,
stop dangling my heart in front of me.
Fractured
Is what I thought we had so worthless to you that you could just throw it away like a piece of fractured china?
Sure, it needs a little glue,
but it can be saved with a little time and effort
Love was never something we lacked,
or at least, something I lacked.
I loved you since I knew I liked you.
I didn't stay in the like stage very long,
in fact, I skipped right over it.
I went from friend to love in the time of a week
To love you after a week?
How foolish could I have been?
It wasn't foolish, it was love
You felt it too, I know you did.
But now, you want to throw it all away
Pity
I loved you
I trusted you
You took my love,
and smashed it on the tiles of the cold and desolet kitchen floor.
I cried for you.
I wanted you.
You lied to me,
You wanted me back.
Jelousy
I hated you
I mourned over you
I despised you
and now
I pity you
You Suck
You suck
For lying to me
For leaving me
For Loving me
No, I suck
For trusting you
For wanting you
For Loving you
No, You suck
For making me cry
For lowering my self-esteem
For throwing me out on the pavement
And most of all,
You suck for making me blame myself.
I Knew
You went on without a word
When you knew it should have long ago been heard
The truth you thought that you conceiled
I found out when you glanced my way
I knew before you said it
I knew the horrid truth you held
I saw it in your eyes
I heard it in you voice
but you kept me hanging
by a thread
To think
And hope
And wish
And dread
I knew the truth before you said it
But why couldn't you have hid it better?
Because, you see, I loved you till the very end
Untitled
It's just a trial
A time, then a smile
smiling doesn't heal the wounds
It makes you feel lost and abused
The hurt thats deep
within our souls
can not be cured with simple smiles and hellos
Things that happen in seconds
Take lifetimes to heal
Untitled
Shame and disgrace
Shown clearly on the face
of the one who is never to blame
It happens once
Twice
and more
seeming like an endless store
of shame and disgrace
which will forever more
be in the heart and soul
of the one who is never to blame
Dreams
You took away my childhood
You took away my dreams
You made me understand that things are never as they seem
I smiled when you told me to
I said the words you fed into my mouth
You gave me lies and wasted dreams
And fears of all that I could see
I trusted no one, not even myself
And now I don't know who I am
Hope
Life is young
Death is old
We smile a lot though we are told
That death be near
And though we fear
We still pray
And hope for a better day
Myself
Inside I cry
Only to do the things that I am supposed to do
With each little step
Of my beating heart
I can feel me slowly tearing apart
I am losing myself
I'm not sure what to do
Because I'm slowly losing all the things important to me, too.
Untitled
Your smiling front
Hides a darkened secret
I look at you and see a smile
I look in your eyes and see darkened denial
A life seeming so perfect
Is so far from true
Life isn't always good,
Life isn't always bad,
Sometimes life is just life.
I wonder about a lot of things.
Am I really happy, or am I just not sad?
Do I talk because I have something to say, or nothing at all?
Do I strive to achieve because I want to, or because I think it is expected of me?
You tell me.
Did God find me, or did I find Him? Or maybe, did we just meet in the middle?
Did my faith in God make me strong, or did His faith in me give me strength?
Did the Lord give me what I asked for, or did I ask for what He already planned to give me?
You tell me.
Will my love ever be enough?
Will me witness ever be wise enough?
Will my faith ever be strong enough?
I can never give enough. I will never be enough. I have nothing that could ever repay Him for the price He paid for me, for the love that He gives to me.
And I will never be enough.
But He'll tell me.
Beauty
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
and not only skin deep
but why do so many beholders
think beauty is anorexic and sad?
If beauty isn't only skin deep,
why do so many only talk to the "beautiful people"?
Beauty is within the heart,
and can only truly be found there.
Beauty is not my hair
or my clothes
or how my body is shaped
My beauty is my brain, thoughts, hopes, dreams, ideas,
and every other thing that is me.
Maybe my eyes are to big
Maybe my hairs the wrong color
Maybe my waist is to large,
and my feet are to small
Maybe me skin isn't clear
and my teeth aren't pure white
But my head is full of ideas
my plate is brimming with talent
my book is written with love
and my eyes sparkle with dreams,
but beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Which beauty do you behold?
Maybe
Life isn't always what we want it to be.
Sometimes we cry,
over silly things, it always seems.
Sometimes we hide it,
deep inside
buried,
so no one sees it
so no one knows where to look.
Sometimes we never get that one phone call,
the one that we waited hours for, patiently, hoping.
Maybe sometimes I cried
because I loved you,
Maybe sometimes you loved me because I cried.
Maybe I love you's didn't come enough, from either end.
Maybe I didn't talk to you enough.
Maybe you never really listened.
Maybe this poem will never be finished.
Maybe you'll never read it.
Maybe you'll never want to.
Maybe maybe isn't good enough.
Maybe I’m not,
good enough, that is.
Maybe it's 2:30, and I really want to talk to you,
but I can't, because, after all, it's 2:30.
Maybe I love you in spite of all my maybe’s.
Maybe you love me, too.
Maybe
Quiet Voices
Quiet voices
speaking in the night,
silently, frightfully
whispering words of regret,
together yet alone,
gripping fear,
but holding on
holding to the truth
the need
the desire
with all that we have given,
and all that they may take
the truth is still alive
grasping for a breath
for a chance to see
to speak
to live
and the quiet voices will continue
always in the cover of night
Forgotten
Feelings hidden deep inside
truths with lies beneath them
for there is nothing else
the words tumble through my mind
without reason or understanding
without thought of hope or change
the lives that we have led slop slowly from us
to the place of unreachable happiness
to the place of horror and dread
Forgotten wishes of the lives that we once had
unravel slowly as the time drifts by
drifting always, never ceasing
bringing us closer to the end
Despair
A need to realize
a chance to see the fear
hidden deep within your eyes
to see the want and the desire
slowly followed by hope and then despair
broken hearted, left to be
you never seemed to care for me
as time slipped by you were soon to see
that love was what you wanted from me
you wanted a love that I couldn’t give
you wanted my time and my heart
but you could give nothing to me
an “I love you” was all I needed
all I wanted was you
you played with me and used me
hiding me away for only you to see
for only you to use
you toyed with my emotions
and then left me to be
you threw me out
broken hearted in the snow
to cry and shout at the bitter cold
Death
As light above
shines down below
the war of ages
rages in my soul
with life so dark
and death so bright
I take my life
and say goodnight
Songs of Life
The songs of life are crying
as darkness is breaking through
with cries of fear around us
death of all
is coming true
so why not make it easy
kill us all before
the silent song of death
comes knocking at our door
Hidden
This is not the truth.
The truth is something,
Hidden deep inside,
on the outside of our understanding
that we keep to ourselves and deny
denying so much that our lies soon become truths
and the truths just a memory
a memory of forgotten times
and lost dreams
of perfect worlds in party dresses.
Nothing is as is it seems,
as we all to soon realize
for this is not the truth,
just a mirage in the scheme of our lives
Accidents
I don’t enjoy being hurt
by you
by your accidents
You never seemed to understand
that all I wanted was love
your love
I wasn’t mad at you
I missed you
all of you
I missed what you are and what we were
What I had I didn’t know
until you left
when I couldn’t bring myself to say hello
Couldn’t bother with your time
to even recognize the feelings
that I gave to you
that you took for granted
Love
Love,
broken love
we smashed it on the ground
like a forgotten dream.
Truth,
misunderstood truth
we didn't comprehend it
we never really tried.
A promise,
made from love
splashed with blood
we didn't want it
we didn't understand it
we threw it away
rejected
but it still stands.
Love
a never ending love
Truth
an unforgettable truth
A promise,
given to us for all eternity,
sealed with blood,
made with love,
true.
Information on me!
Information on me, the flute loving band geek!
Tips on Playing the Flute
A Page About Friends
Poetry and Quotes and Stories
Points to Ponder
My View on the World Today
My Family Page
My main page!
