"Close But Not Quite" Monster Movies

 

There are a lot of giant monster movies, but also a lot of movies that feature giant monsters and yet are not themselves giant monster movies. Well, at least according to my definition. Although these types of movies don't warrant a full monster movie review, I might as well give a quick one. Also, for most of the time, if the monster in the movie is "monstrous" enough, they will get a full-fledged stat page themselves. Essentially in this section I give a few thoughts on all those movies that are close to, but not quite, a monster movie (or in the very least, movies that I don’t feel like spending much time on).

 

 Aliens (1986)

Rating: *****

Synopsis/Review: It took a while for a sequel of Alien to come out, seven years in fact. The next came out after six years and then the fourth came out five years later. Notice a pattern? Well of the four, my personal favorite is Aliens, due partially because of the ending, which features Ripley in a loading machine battling the massive Queen Alien. That particular type of Alien was also in the two sequels, but only for brief cameos where it didn't do any monstrous things at all (like getting it's head bitten to pieces three minutes after it appears). This movie is also great due to its terrific special effects, really fun action scenes, and a classic series of events. Carrying a big gun into a nest of dangerous creatures would not be the same without this movie. Notable rip-offs include "Carnosaur II" and "Godzilla vs. Destoroyah". Only problem this movie has is the gigantic slew of F-words.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it's Rated R

Monster in Movie: Queen Alien

 

 Anaconda (1997)

Rating: **

Synopsis/Review: Giant killer computer-generated snakes in a B-Movie style part. Even though it's not suppose to be good, it still is bad. The special effects aren't too great either. The people run around in the jungle doing stupid things while a fake looking and acting snake slithers about. It has it's moments, but it's still a bad movie for a bad movie. The only scary part is that they thought the movie would sell.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it features simply an overgrown version of real creature

Monsters in Movie: Giant Anaconda

 

 Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

Rating: ****1/2

Synopsis/Review: One of the better Disney movies. Why? Because there is no darn musical scenes! Basically it's about a WWI era underwater expedition to the legendary city of Atlantis. Things don't go so well as their impossibly large sub gets blasted by a giant robot lobster (dubbed the Leviathan). They meet more death and destruction before they finally get there (yes, death and destruction in a Disney movie), and finally get to Atlantis to meet the locals. Well certain members of the team try to run off with Atlantis's power source while other members fight back using flying mechanical fishes. More people are killed in the process, but the main character good guys survive. One of the few Disney movies where people dying is the norm. Still, it is filled with quirky animation and an overload of humor. Quite fun to watch and it has some cool looking scenery. Makes for an action packed animated adventure.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it's a cartoon

Monsters in Movie: Leviathan (by CDZ), Guardian Robot Things

 

 Atragon (1963)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: Yep, it’s the original movie that pits a giant flying submarine with a drill known as the "Gotengo" pitted up against everyone’s favorite extra-long sea dragon, Manda. Unfortunately that part is rather short. Most of the movie centers around a surprisingly complex plot of a Japanese captain/engineer who still thinks it’s WWII, his long-abandoned daughter, a couple of photographers, and the numerous super-powered agents of the Mu Empire, an undersea kingdom that wants to take over the land. Although the plot can get pretty deep at times, it perhaps is a little to complex for it’s own good because certain subjects are brought up and never seen again. Massive holes aside, it still maintains an overall entertaining movie that keeps you interested even through the slow parts. The massive war between Mu and Earth’s forces is disappointingly short, but they did a good job with the effects on it. You get massive earthquakes, random explosions, over-powered ray beams that wipe out whole fleets, and the Gotengo wiping out the whole empire by itself. All-in-all, its a pretty good Japanese sci-fi movie with good production values and a bunch of nifty ideas scattered throughout it. A lot of stuff is "just plain cool", and testament to that is the anime remake, "Super Atragon", and the heavy influence on "Godzilla: Final Wars".

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the daikaiju only appears for a short time and is not the main focus of the movie

Monsters in Movie: Manda

 

 Carnosaur (1993)

Rating: ****1/2

Synopsis/Review: Dinosaur movie portraying them the way it was meant: vicious killers that tear living beings apart and splatter blood everywhere! This movie has blood and gore flying everywhere, limbs and heads being ripped off, and chest cavities being opened all the time! And somehow, the carnage is kind of fun. Even more fun is that the thing doing the goring is a guy in a really bad velociraptor suit! Also featured is a tyrannosaurus puppet, which in the end gets it's intestines ripped up by a little truck thing with a claw near the end. Has a screwball plot holding it together, involving women giving birth to dinosaur eggs due to a genetically created disease. And those guys in fire retardant suits shooting people with machine guns really adds to the dark, morbid, almost hypnotically insane feel of the thing. Also features the creepiest chicken scenes in movie history!

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it's Rated R, and deserves it (younger audience NOT recommended)

Monsters in Movie: Velociraptor, Tyrannosaurus

 

 Carnosaur II (1995)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: The dinosaur carnage continues! Not as much as the last movie, but the red stuff still spatters everywhere. The plot is simple: a group of technicians go to some sort of kinda-secret government facility to fix a "computer problem", and instead fine a single young survivor, an eminent nuclear meltdown, and a whole lot'a raptors. Unlike the original "Carnosaur", this one is just for fun, and basically just show a lot of scenes of people dying and raptors getting blown up. There are a few ideas that are actually taken directly from "Aliens", particular the part with the helicopter getting blown up, the explosive sacrifice of two characters, and the final battle with the T-Rex. A thoroughly enjoyable simple little movie with very cheap special effects, but cheap aint bad.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it's Rated R

Monsters in Movie: Velociraptors, Tyrannosaurus

 

 Carnosaur III (1996)

Rating: ***1/2

Synopsis/Review: The first one was dark and moody, the second one was action-filled, and this one is, well, just plain silly. It is practically a comedy, with more jokes then gore scenes! It does not take itself seriously in the least. It starts out with some surprisingly good explosive scenes with people shooting at each other, but soon goes into "Hey is that a dinosaur... aaiiee!" mode. After many, many, joking glips from that one character (played by the same guy from the last movie, even though it's different characters), it gets to the showdown in the bowls of a ship. It's a fun silly movie with some pretty good action scenes throughout, but there is not much of a plot holding it together. Mindless dribble, but not all that bad mindless dribble. Good wrap-up for the "pathetic dinosaur horror movie" series.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it's Rated R

Monsters in Movie: Velociraptors, Tyrannosaurus

 

 Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: Also known jokingly as "Jaws 5", it's a movie about great white sharks eating people in a secret ocean laboratory. Experiments are done with the sharks' brains, and they are genetically altered to be super-smart, which is a very "smart" idea. They trash the place, get loose, and eat the characters at random. You never know who will get eaten next, or when. Even the big-name actors aren't safe! It has a pretty good plot and pretty good scenes of body parts floating around and getting munched. Action packed shark movie with descent CGI sums it up.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it's Rated R

Monsters in Movie: Super-intelligent sharks

 

 Dragonheart (1996)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: Using that new fangled thing known as CGI, a movie was made featuring a big dragon that sounded like Sean Connery. The result was a pretty good movie with great special effects and a fairly deep and good plot (if I little screwy at times). There are some pretty darn spectacular moments in this movie, and Draco the dragon was done very good. My vote for the best dragon movie made so far. Still far from perfect, though, but a good movie as a whole. It's not a monster movie, but a medieval fantasy, and the dragon acts more like a human than a creature.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the monster plays a "human" role

Monster in Movie: Draco

 

 Dragonheart: A New Beginning (2000)

Rating: ***

Synopsis/Review: Although the original Dragonheart movie was a big budget blockbuster type that was fun for all ages, the sequel was a direct-to-video kids' movie. Not a bad video children's flick, though. Still has those great special effects, if toned down a touch. The plot is simple, and has a lot of lame elements to it, but the kiddies won't notice. It's a nice sequel that's not as good as the original and it definitely is not the best movie ever made but it's still not bad. Makes for a good rental for dragon fans.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the monsters play a "human" role, lack of destruction

Monsters in Movie: Drake, Gryffin

 

 Dungeons and Dragons (2000)

Rating: *** 1/2

Synopsis/Review: D&D is a popular RPG, but it took a long time to make a movie based on it. When they finally did, they kind of did a low-budget version due to the probable fact that they spent all their money on that cool dragon war scene at the end. So it wasn't as good as it could have been. Still not a bad movie, though. Not enough like D&D and more like a goofy fantasy story, but the plot is still pretty good despite the holes (the DVD version fixes that, kind of). Even though it has a couple cool dragon scenes, outside the beginning and end, they don't appear at all. Not really about Dragons and even less about Dungeons.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the dragons don't appear throughout movie

Monsters in Movie: Red Dragons, Gold Dragons

 

 Evolution (2001)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: An action/adventure/sci-fi/thriller/horror/comedy made by the same guy that made the "Ghostbusters", which pretty much tells you what to expect. While running around in a humorous matter, the plucky cast of average citizens turned heroes meet up with a rapidly evolving life-form from space. What starts as a slimy thing of sorts turns into a bunch of different things up the evolutionary tree, from giant bugs to flying dragons to ape-like creatures and finally ending up back to the beginning with an absolutely huge aboeba-like thing. As the characters run around the town in Arizona trying to figure out what is going on with all these things, the movie shows it’s variety with scenes ranging from legitimately scary to action-packed. Dominantly though, despite all the typical sci-fi stuff, it’s a lovable comedy. Recommended for anybody who likes these "stick a bunch of genres in a blender" sorts of movies.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the only monster to be "giant" makes only a brief appearance at the end

Monster in Movie: a wide variety of creatures, Giant Amoeba

 

 Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956)

Rating: ****1/2

Synopsis/Review: Definitely one of my favorite B-Movies. Plenty of ludicrously moments pop up in this movie, rather it be absurdly inaccurate technobable or common sense leaping off a cliff, and for the most part it fits my personal sense of humor quite nicely. Along with the silly moments is some legitimately great special effects created by Ray Harryhausen, which you’ve probably noticed my obsession with his work by now. The way the flying saucers buzz around is terrifically done, very entertaining, and provides for some nice dramatic angles. A real visual joy to behold. Still, with it’s insanely low budget, there are plenty of (usually laughable) shortcuts made throughout the movie, especially in the use of stock footage (but at least they know how to pick good stock footage). The plot itself handles the introduction of flying saucers well, but one interesting note is that the "evil" space aliens really aren’t that bad. They land near a military base but before they can say "I come in peace" people start shooting at them. It seems as if every attempt to make a peaceful resolution fails due to human stubbornness in their excessive drive to blow up the saucers. They succeed, and rather entertainingly as well, but one can’t help but wonder if the whole war was pointless. Deep inner thoughts aside, the movie generally is a light little excursion into sci-fi goodness, with plenty of classic campy action to watch in amazement whilst laughing at the silliness that comes up now and again (like that whole screwed-up frame-of-time thing). Actually this movie is quite influential in it’s state of typical 50’s alien invasion movie with plenty of obvious references from movies such as "Independance Day" and "Mars Attacks!", not to mention a bunch of movies that Toho put out. Overall, "Earth vs. The Flying Saucers" is a low-budget B-Movie classic that puts a smile on my face from start to finish.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it’s not

Monster in Movie: flying saucers

 

 Fantastic Dinosaurs of the Movies (1990)

Rating: **

Synopsis/Review: A fantastic collection of old movie trailers of (mostly) dinosaur-type movies. Of course their definition of "dinosaur" is extremely weak; mostly it’s on old sci-fi movies that usual feature attacks by aliens or huge creatures or various flights of fancy. Along with the pile of movie trailers there is also an old documentary on "The Golden Voyage of Sinbad", which features clips from other movies that Ray Harryhausen has done special effects on. The trailers themselves provide some light entertainment as you enjoy the absolute silliness as they over-exaggerate how "spectacular" the movie is (including taglines such as "Like Nothing You’ve Ever Seen Before!", "Fantastic Beyond Comprehension!", or "This Was the Day That Engulfed the World in Terror!"). Also good for picking out what campy old B-Movie you want to check out next.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it’s not actually a movie.

Monster in Movie: a whole lot of ‘em!

 

 First Men in the Moon (1964)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: Made just prior to the actual moon landings, the movie tends to get a fairly accurate depiction of a trip to the moon, except it’s an international team in this case. As they are wandering around they happen to find a flag already there. Apparently somebody beat them to it, all the way back in 1899. Thanks to a flashback the movie delves into good ol’ Victorian-Era sci-fi, showing how they got there using nothing but a metal ball, some diving suits, and a substance akin to "flubber". Now of course when they get there they find themselves some underground tunnels and your usual race of moonmen. Like it’s 1902 counterpart ("A Trip to the Moon", based on Verne’s work as opposed to this one, based on Wells), the movie tends to often dwell into a ludicrous brand of humor as all these silly events occur to some very eccentric characters. The movie flows pretty well and provides plenty of entertainment for fans of campy (and classic) science fiction. Complementing this is some great special effects made under Ray Harryhausen, who does his usual high level of craftsmanship. Although most of the aliens are just kids in suits, a few are done via stop-motion, and there’s even a nice battle between them and a "moon-cow". Overall this is typical sci-fi flare with some atypical twists and a streak of humor, providing for a good movie overall.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the alien "monster" isn't the main subject of the movie

Monster in Movie: moon cow

 

 Flesh Gordon (1974)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: Essentially a softcore pornographic film that's a parody of the old "Flash Gordon" series. Although there perhaps isn't enough sexual action as some viewers would like (a lot had to be taken out for legal reasons), it does succeed in the humor section quite nicely. The story goes that the ruler of Planet Porno, Emperor Wang, decides to take over the Earth out of spite by using a "Sex Ray" to, erm, immobilize humanity. The only one man enough to be immune to the effects is Flesh Gordon, who along with girlfriend Dale Ardent and Professor Flexi-Jerkoff, goes to Planet Porno to stop the evil plans. Among the many dangers on the planet are some well-done stop-motion creatures. If it wasn't for the ludicrous nature of the whole thing, this could actually be mistaken for a really good action/adventure movie. The fight with the Beetleman is perhaps the best legitimate special effects action scene in the movie, but the battle with God Porno at the end takes the cake due to sheer hilarity. Overall this is a pretty silly movie that has a number of surprisingly good elements to it, and recommended to anybody who doesn't mind a little nudity and sex references.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the giant monster is not the main focus of the movie, it's rated X

Monster in Movie: Penisaurus, Beetleman, God Porno

 

 Forbidden Planet (1956)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: Certainly a classic among sci-fi movies, one where the influences on latter works such as Star Trek and Star Wars are difficult to ignore. A group of military-types (led by Leslie Nielsen) cruising the galaxy in a flying saucer go to a research outpost on a distant planet only to find that the only survivors are one scientist and his daughter. Also on this planet is the unforgettable "Robby The Robot" (who contrary to the poster is a good robot with a sarcastic streak) and a rather nasty invisible "monster" that causes quite a bit of trouble. For the most part the movie is filled with a lot of really good ideas, a nice streak of humor, and some "great for their time" special effects, but unfortunately it’s all placed in a movie that is annoyingly slow-paced. Basically you have to watch the characters wander around in rather awkward for most of the movie before the pace picks up near the end. There’s an interesting twist to the whole story that I won’t spoil for you (unless you read the monster bio), and because it gets better as it goes on audiences that bear through the boring bits will be quite rewarded. An overall good spaced-based sci-fi movie that defines the genre.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: although the monster is perhaps the main focus of the movie it doesn't appear very much

Monsters in Movie: Id Monster

 

 Godzilla the Series - The Monster Wars Trilogy (1998)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: Probably the best three episodes of the Saturday morning cartoon show based on "Godzilla" (1998). Due to their interconnection, it actually serves fairly well as a stand-alone "movie", although anybody who hasn’t watched or read up on the show would probably be confused as to what the heck is going on. It still provides plenty of entertainment as space aliens, with their arsenal of flying ships and mind-controlled giant monsters, try to conquer the planet by destroying as many famous landmarks as possible. Also features Godzilla having some fairly impressive battles against various creatures, including a cyborg version of the original Godzilla from the movie. The plucky human characters also do their part to save the world with lucky circumstances. Overall a fairly entertaining series of cartoon episodes, even if the story isn’t very original. Recommended for anybody that wants to "sample" the now canceled show.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it’s not actually a movie, it’s a cartoon TV series

Monster in Movie: GTS Godzilla, Crustaceous Rex, El Gusano, Queen Bee, Cryptocleidus, Giant African Bat, King Cobra, Cyber-Godzilla

 

 Ghostbusters (1984)

Rating: ****1/2

Synopsis/Review: I've liked the Ghostbuster stuff ever since I was a little kid. It always was "cool" how these guys ran around blasting strange-looking ghosts all the time. Originally a comic book, the idea was picked up and turned into a highly successful movie. It had great special effects for the time, and although it seems to lack "ghostbusting" scenes (there was only one), it's still a great movie. Funny, entertaining, and filled with good ideas. The sequel was pretty good to. Now the question is why is there a ghost movie in a monster movie section. Well, the reason is that gigantic "thing" that pops up and attacks New York City near the end. That of course would be the silly but somehow scary idea of a giant monster made out of marshmallow! The good old Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is in this, and it's a cool brief scene to. Does not make it a giant monster movie though, because that five-minute cameo is the only giant monster part of the movie. Still, it's a great part.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the monster is not the main subject of the movie

Monster in Movie: The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

 

 Jaws (1975)

Rating: ****1/2

Synopsis/Review: The original classic shark attack movie! Big bad shark attacks swimmers and small boats, usually with somehow great effect for just a mechanical rubber thing! Has a terrific plot and a lot of suspenseful moments. It does make sharks look like powerful creatures, but also as the bad guys, which is not a good thing when real sharks suffer. Spawned three sequels, none of which I care about.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: sharks are real

Monster in Movie: Great White Shark

 

 Komodo (1999)

Rating: ***1/2

Synopsis/Review: Thrills, chills, and spill arise as giant 15 foot komodo dragons get loose on an island off the coast of Florida/Georgia/South Carolina (your choice)! The special effects are from the same guys as the ones from "Jurassic Park", and so the komodos look pretty dang good. The CGI is good and the animatronics are even better! The script is from the same guys that did Anaconda, and so the plot aint so great. It goes on like a psychological drama for a long time, but latter on the characters just change their attitudes to go from one effects scene to the next. It also ends up being a slow-paced movie. Still, it gets you in that mindset where you feel as if you are really being chased by giant lizards, and when they finally do pop out to scare you, they are convincing. Only problems are the absent back-plot and the parts where you see what happens AFTER a komodo attack and not DURING it. It appears to be a movie they planned to put out on the big screen, but ended up going strait to the small screen for some reason. What that reason is I don't know, because it's not really all that bad of a movie. It could have been better, but it's not bad. Best komodo dragon horror movie ever!

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: komodo dragons are real

Monster in Movie: Giant Komodo Dragons

 

 Lake Placid (1999)

Rating: ***

Synopsis/Review: Movie about a giant crocodile somehow living in Lake Placid, New York. Supposedly it's a real crocodile species, but I have yet to hear anything on a so-called "Asian Crocodile" (and I watch Animal Planet all the time). Still, it's a somehow good concept, and is done quite well. Only problem is that the big croc only pops up for five seconds every once in a while, with a good but boring plot used for filler. Not a bad movie, but definitely not good either. Good for a few kicks if you have a fast forward button.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it features an overgrown version of real creature, Rated R

Monster in Movie: Giant Crocodile

 

 Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Move (1995)

Rating: **1/2

Synopsis/Review: For those that do not know, Power Rangers is a particular Saturday-morning kids’ show produced with footage from various Japanese-made "sentai" shows. The result is a combination of giant monster battles, kung-fu fighting, and mindless repetitive plots. Surprisingly the show has ran for well over a decade despite it’s generally poor production values and a format that wears thin after watching only a few episodes. Admittedly I used to watch the show when it first came out, and even was talked into watching the movie version when it came to theaters. The thing about the movie is that it is what I consider to be the best single piece of Power Rangers ever made, which really isn’t saying much. It has the best plot, the best special effects, and the best overall entertainment value of the series, and so if you were to ever watch anything based on Power Rangers, the movie would be it. It gives you a good sampling of what the series is, puts the rangers in believably dangerous situations, and gives the rangers some nifty animal-based zoids to play around with in order to sell toys. Now as long as you don’t expect the movie to be good, you’ll be somewhat entertained. There is another Power Rangers movie called "Turbo" or something, but I don’t care enough to bother watching it.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the zords are not monsters but are elaborate human-controlled machines

Monster in Movie: zords, Megazord

 

 The Mysterians (1957)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: One of the older sci-fi movies that Toho made, back in the day when they were just figuring out what cliché’s they plan to use in the coming decades. You have alien visitors who want to conquer the world (starting with Tokyo) who have the habit of pretending their friendly first, as well as wearing funky clothing. You also have some prototype weaponry, including the predecessor to laser tanks and an airship that could be the predecessor of the "Gotengo" from Atragon. You also have a giant robot trashing stuff and getting shot at, shown near the beginning of the movie (and only there). The stuff with Moquera (the giant ‘bot) is very dramatically done and often surreal, providing some beautiful and awe-inspiring scenes. Well, they would be good if Moquera didn’t look so dog-gone silly! It looks like they just stuck some metal parts on some poor guy and had him walk around, adding some extremely pathetic-looking ray weaponry latter. It also has a silly little spinning antenna on top. In fact this mixed opinion of very good and laughably stupid continues after Moguera falls down. We get an all-out war between the Myserians and the Earthlings, with plenty of explosive devices, ray guns, tanks, jets, and other cool toys. Holding this sci-fi wonder together is a somewhat decent plot involving politicians and scientists doing their duties of talking pointlessly and blabbing about how science is a noble cause, respectively. Overall it’s a really great poorly done movie, fun to laugh at the silliness while you watch the fireworks.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: "monster" is actually an elaborate alien weapon and only has a small part and is not the main focus

Monsters in Movie: Moguera

 

 Mysterious Island (1961)

Rating: ***1/2

Synopsis/Review: Another one of those movies featuring giant stop-motion creatures and other special effects under the lead of the master of the genre, Ray Harryhausen. This one is based on the work of Jules Vern. Some POW’s escape from a confederacy base during the Civil War by using a balloon. Well things don’t go so well so they end up on a "Mysterious Island", populated by giant creatures of all sorts. Turns out Captain Nemo is behind everything, but he doesn’t reveal himself until after they do the whole "Gilligan’s Island" routine. To be fair though, this movie features a well-crafted plot that, although slow at times, keeps you entertained with a lot of new twists. Also features a visual feast in the form of scenery, both real and fabricated, as well as some highly-detailed stop-motion work. Although the random battles against giant beast are entertaining, most of the characters tend to forget about them fast. The true plot revolves around survival and the plan to escape before the volcano erupts, and not on the creatures themselves, which are mostly a part of the scenery. Still, it’s a great adventure story overall, but they really should have turned down the blaringly loud music.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: most "monsters" are simply overgrown versions of real creatures, the creatures are not the main "conflict"

Monsters in Movie: Giant Crab, Giant Bee, Phororhacos, Giant Nautiloid

 

 Python (2000)

Rating: **

Synopsis/Review: Strange experiments yields a giant snake that eats and decapitates random people in a small town. Eventually a small band of people go on a ill-conceived plan to take it out. Simple movie with a simple concept and one very fake-looking CGI snake. Not much to it but it’s good for an occasional laugh. Descent B-Movie.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it’s Rated R

Monster in Movie: Giant Python

 

 Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

Rating: ***

Synopsis/Review: Known by some to be the worst movie ever made, but really that’s not actually the case due to it being hilariously entertaining. Tons of campy mistakes and ludicrous dialogue hide a plot that, in all actuality, isn’t really that bad in it’s efforts to poke fun at the stupidity of humanity. Not exactly a monster movie, but still entertaining in the same way as you watch people scream in horror at exceedingly slow-moving zombies. Also features flying saucers buzzing around the world. Perhaps a bit slow-paced at times but it’s still a fun movie to laugh at and laugh with.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: there are no giant monsters

Monster in Movie: Ghouls and Flying Saucers

 

 Q: The Winged Serpent (1982)

Rating: ***

Synopsis/Review: In many ways, this is a remake of sorts of "The Giant Claw" due to it’s similar concept (giant bird-like thing flies around New York City and tries to hatch an egg sort of movie). The difference is the plot behind it, the fact that few people can see the thing (it hides in the sun or something stupid like that), and the occasional bit of uncalled for gore (decapitations, living human sacrifices, dead bodies with their flesh ripped off, stuff like that). There essentially three stories going on at once in this movie, with the occasional interaction. Most of the time they focus on a down-on-his-luck common criminal that gets a big break when he stumbles upon the nest, and for some reason nobody is smart enough to figure out where the nest is so he happens to be the only one that knows about it. The other story is about a New York City cop that manages to figure out what’s going on with the whole "human sacrifice" bit and how it connects with the giant bird-thing flying around, and of course nobody believes him. The third story is the people who are working to bring back their "god", Quetzalcoatl, through their various methods so that they can... er... well they never really explained why they wanted a giant bird-thing to come back but they do it anyways. Really with all these storylines the movie gets a little messed up and it’s hard to figure out just what’s going on because the whole thing isn’t pieced together fairly well. The whole random events thing may be interpreted as a design to reflect the chaos of real life, but really it just ends up kind of boring while you wait for the occasional brief glimpse of "Q" itself. The saving grace is that those brief scenes are done well, with some good stop motion work and a nice selection of very beautiful scenery above the city. The final battle atop the Chrysler Building is the highlight of the movie, despite the unrealistic use of sub-machine guns to bring it down (somehow raining bullets down on the busy streets just doesn’t seem safe or smart). However, before that you really don’t get much "monster action" and overall the whole thing feels like a disappointment. It could have been a lot better, but granted, it could have been a lot worse.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it's rated R

Monsters in Movie: Quetzalcoatl

 

 The Relic (1997)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: The generally concept of the movie is a bunch of mysterious happenings occurring at a Chicago museum after a certain crate arrives from South America. Most viewers predict pretty fast that it’s a giant monster on the loose and it’s pretty easy to figure out what it is, but it’s still fun to watch the characters fumble around with the big "mystery". Pretty good acting found in a very nice visual setting, dramatically set with a variety of lighting conditions. The monster itself is very well done; on of the most believable realistic-appearing monsters of any movie. The final battle with it is pretty good as well. An overall good movie if you can stand watching people’s brains get eaten.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it’s Rated R for violence and gore

Monster in Movie: Kothoga

 

 Robocop (1987)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: The first and best of the Robocop movies. Alex Murphy was a reasonably normal policeman in Detroit until he is shot up badly, dies, and is transformed into a crime-fighting cyborg. Generally this means he walks around like a heavy robot while blasting bad-guys with his nifty gun and having enemy fire ping off him. Still, the action scenes are quite enjoyable and well done. Has a moody and dramatic atmosphere to the whole thing with great music backing it up. A bit of a quirk is that there is some dark humor style fake commercials strewn throughout the movie. The main weapon going against Robocop is a huge walking robot with some really big guns. ED 209 was realized via stop-motion animation, and although the effects aren't the best around, they get the job done. Although cartoony, ED 209 does make for a pretty cool scene when bullets start flying and things get blasted to pieces. Senseless violence at it's best!

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: its Rated R

Monster in Movie: ED 209

 

 Robocop 2 (1990)

Rating: ***1/2

Synopsis/Review: The sequel to Robocop for some reason dumps the dark dramatic atmosphere and instead ends up more like an action/comedy. During his adventures Robocop does various things such as ramming himself into a moving van, smashing a guy's head into a video game known as "Bad Dudes vs. Dragonninja", getting chopped to pieces, being reprogrammed to be happy and cheerful while killing people, and finally to battle his own sequel, Robocop2. Most of the thing seems to be an anti-drug movie, which makes sense during a time when not only where kids told not to do drugs, but to go right ahead and watch rated R movies. The end sequences where Robocop battles the stop-motion Robocop2 was done quite good. Action packed and with pretty good effects. All in all it's an unfortunately silly but still fun and action packed movie.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: it's Rated R, "monster" is really a human cyborg

Monster in Movie: Robocop2

 

 Robocop 3 (1993)

Rating: **1/2

Synopsis/Review: Of the three main Robocop movies, this one is by far the worse. The budget is much lower, the plot is much more pathetic, and the thing was made in a hurry (it was originally finished in 1991 but Orion went bankrupt). The special effects aren't that bad, just not as many as before. ED 209 makes a brief cameo appearance, and that's about it for the stop motion. The first two movies where filmed in Dallas and Houston, respectively, and this one was made in Atlanta, Georgia. Unlike the first two movies, this one is a bit less Detroit-looking for some reason. All in all it's a fairly bad movie with a few good parts thrown in. Although not the best Robocop movies have to offer, it does end the trilogy nicely.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: only features a brief appearance by robot monster

Monster in Movie: ED 209

 

 Robot Monster (1953)

Rating: **

Synopsis/Review: Movie apparently about a single member of an alien race wiping out all of humanity save for one family that is immune to their weapons. Basically features a guy in a gorilla suit with a diving helmet called Ro-Man chasing the Hu-Mans through the dessert and somehow managing to catch them despite moving exceedingly slow. In fact, the whole movie is exceedingly slow, but it’s fun to watch the low-budget camp. Also features a brief scene of an alligator and a monitor with fins taped on them doing the classic fighting routine, for no good reason.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: dinosaur scenes are to brief, main monster isn’t "giant"

Monster in Movie: Ro-Man, various "dinosaurs"

 

 Star Wars™ (Series)

Rating: *****/*****/*****/**/***/****

Synopsis/Review: In a nutshell, it's a sci-fi movie double trilogy about a guy named Anakin Skywalker™ who learns the ways of the Force™, turns to the Dark Side™, becomes Sith Lord™ Darth Vader™, and is brought back to good by his son, Luke Skywalker™, in a Lightsaber™ battle aboard the Death Star™. Background story is about a guy named Palpatine™ who creates a Galactic Empire™ though the Clone Wars™, and a Rebel Aliance™ forms to take him down. Also involves a lot of trademarks. Above rating is for (in order of release): "A New Hope"(Episode 4), "The Empire Strikes Back" (Ep. 5), "Return of the Jedi" (Ep. 6), "The Phantom Menace" (Ep. 1), "Attack of the Clones" (Ep. 2), and "Revenge of the Sith"(Ep. 3). Even with silly titles, the movies are generally quite good. It used to be a nice sci-fi trilogy made in the late 70's and early 80's, but they decided to make another trilogy to add to it. The new feature of computer generation didn't do much for Episode I, mainly because they used it excessively and the original trilogy still had better graphics WITHOUT CGI! However, Episode II improved on the special effects and Episode III has the best of them all. The plot of the prequal trilogy was never as good as the original trilogy, but Episode III is pretty good. The surprisingly deep storyline has become a classic, and spawned a whole bunch books, comic books, rpg games, video games, and such. A whole new galaxy was created through the use of cool special effects, terrific action scenes, and original ideas. And what's a galaxy without a slew of new creatures to inhabit it? Giant monstrous things are the norm, and the problem is that they are just the natural inhabitants. In order to be true monsters, they cannot be natural and in a natural setting, even if they are big special effects beasts. The only one I decided to make a stat page on is the rancor, mostly because I felt like it. Either way, as a whole this wide-spreading series is in a category all it's own.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the creatures are in natural settings, not main subject of movies, and don't destroy much

Monsters in Movie: acklay, aiwha, bantha, colo claw fish, dewback, fambaa, ikopi, krayt dragon, nexu, opee sea killer, rancor, reek, ronto, sando aqua monster, sarlacc, space slug. For further info go to starwars.com (great site).

 

 The Three Worlds of Gulliver (1960)

Rating: **1/2

Synopsis/Review: The last movie to be reviewed on the "Ray Harryhausen" list, mostly because there’s very little in the way of "stop-motion monsters on the rampage". We get a giant squirrel and an alligator and that’s really about it. The story is a pretty generic "Gulliver’s Travels" sort of thing, but doesn’t focus on what I like to call the "Fourth World of Gulliver". He goes to the land of small people and the land of big people and then the movie suddenly ends. Probably for the best considering how long the movie would have been if they did. For the most part the effects are pretty good, showing the scale involved nicely. You can at times almost believe that Gulliver is really walking around with people that small or being relatively small himself (well except for the gravity differentials but we won’t get into that). The plot does go surprisingly deep into the mental analogies inherent in bad politics based on someone’s social status, but mostly settles into the "Dr. Suess mentality" and ends up being a mostly cartoon-like movie best for children under the age of 10. My basic recommendation is to only seek out this movie if you’re looking for a good family flick unless you're getting it as part of a larger collection.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the "giants" are not exactly "monsters"

Monster in Movie: alligator, giant squirrel

 

 Tremors (Series)

Rating: ****/****/****/****

Synopsis/Review: My original plan was to write full reviews for each of the four movies of the tremors series, but I didn’t feel like putting in hours of work for something that can be summed up in one sentence. The movies are good, all of them, filled with wonderful camp value, nifty situations, scenes of human ingenuity, lots of monster action, a lot of good ideas thrown about, and plenty of entertainment allowing me to highly recommend these movies to anyone who likes sci-fi comedies.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: I'm lazy

Monsters in Movie: graboids

 

 Ultraman Tiga & Ultraman Dyna (1998)

Rating: ***1/2

Synopsis/Review: Some have stated that I don’t like Ultraman and that’s the reason why there isn’t much Ultraman stuff on this site. Well, that’s not true at all. I really do like the Ultraman series but in order to do it justice I have to include everything, and with something like 400 episodes the process will take much more time and money then I am willing to put in. This is one of the primary reasons why I decided since the beginning that Godzilla Tower would include movie monsters only, and barely mention the rather hefty list of TV-based series. The loophole to this is that there is quite a few movies based on the Ultraman franchise, two of which were officially released on DVD here in the United States. This particular movie I’m mentioning now features both Tiga and Dyna (obviously), each of which had their own TV series (the Tiga one had a broadcast on Saturday Mornings in the U.S.), and of course the main battle involves them working together to defeat your usual giant monster. The rest of the movie is mostly about Dyna, however, and tends to focus on your usual Ultraman stuff like the team of heroes and their nifty toys going up against a number of silly-looking monsters. Now I have generally considered my Ultraman viewing experience to be akin more to a comedy then an action-adventure, and this movie succeeds greatly in that regard. I found myself cracking up throughout the movie at the laughably bad dialogue (from the thankfully horrendous dubbing), the insanely absurd events, the blatant use of cliché’s, the overly convenient plot devices (the world was saved by an action figure), and the large number of "seriously now what the heck is that suppose to mean" moments (particular the completely screwed-up baseball analogies). So-bad-it’s-good to the extreme, but deep down there is some legitimately good rubber-suited monster battles and a large quantity of better-than-average special effects. Overall this movie is quite enjoyable for fans of the genre and actually serves as good example of what Ultraman is all about. Too bad the ending was so anti-climatic and the movie as a whole was way to short to be worth the price of purchase.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the giant aliens (both the attackers and the Ultramen) play a more-or-less human role

Monsters in Movie: Ultraman Dyna, Ultraman Tiga, Death Facer, Monera Monster, Queen Monera

 

 Ultraman Gaia: The Battle in Hyperspace (1999)

Rating: ****

Synopsis/Review: The third main Ultraman in the recent series, Gaia, apparently has his own set of TV shows and movies as well and this is the one that floated over here. Trying something a little new with the "alternate realities" approach, the movie focuses on a universe much like our own where Ultraman is a popular television series in Japan. Give an obsessed kid a magical wishing ball, and what you get is Gaia being sucked into that universe. Give some not-so-nice kids the ball and some Play-Doh, and you get your usual goofy-looking world-destroying monsters that Ultraman must face. Although perhaps just a means to an end, the plot itself is actually not that bad for something that was only designed to sell toys to children. It flows well, keeps you entertained with it’s cute humor, and doesn’t confuse you with screwed up plot devices (it stays simple, yet has well-explained complexities). Although the dubbing this time around isn’t quite so laughably funny, and there isn’t quite as much stuff to poke fun at, the movie still holds it’s own with what it intended to do in the first place. Now the end result for this decent kids movie is a the massive rubber-suited monster wrestling action at the end, involving three ultra warriors going up against a monster that can split into three monsters itself. The "King of Mons", as it is called, appears to be a reference to Godzilla, with his similar appearance and beam weapon, but that’s not a bad thing considering he can trash a city just as well. There is also another monster that Ultraman Gaia fights at the beginning, but that appears to be stock footage from the show. Still, you get plenty of Ultraman junk crammed into a somewhat short movie, and although it’s probably not worth a purchase it’s still worth a rent.

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the giant aliens (Ultramen) play a more-or-less human role

Monsters in Movie: Ultraman Dyna, Ultraman Tiga, Ultraman Gaia, Biezor, King of Mons

 

 Warning From Space (1956)

Rating: *1/2

Synopsis/Review: Don’t be fooled by the giant starfish on the front cover; there is no giant monster city stomping in this movie. Yes there are people in stupid-looking costumes pretending to be aliens, but all they ever do is try to warn the world (i.e. Japan) about a large planet on a collision course with Earth. Of course this isn’t very easy to do considering the population runs away from them when seen, so the aliens disguise themselves as humans in order to get the message out. The nations of the world end up procrastinating, and so the planet to knock the planet off-course with nuclear weapons ends up not working. So now it’s up to a particular scientist to use his formula for a super-bomb to blow up the planet with he help of the aliens. Now if any of this plot seems entertaining to you, keep in mind that it'’ all in a movie that is mind-numbingly slow paced. They tend to go with the "slice of life" format, showing people doing everyday activities, which ends up being extremely boring. I nearly fell asleep watching this thing, which is odd considering I wasn’t tired. Sure, there is some decent special effects near the end (the rogue planet causes disastrous weather effects, destroying cities with wind and water), but for the most part none of this is worth it. The movie is truly bad, and not so bad it’s good, nope it’s just plain bad, even if you get it for free you still will feel ripped-off. My warning to you: don't watch this movie!

Not a Giant Monster Movie because: the "monsters" are not exactly "giant"

Monster in Movie: giant starfish-thingies

 

 

 


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