|
My Journal
 |
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Well, I'm about three weeks from surgery, so I thought I better get my journal going before it's too late! PRE-OP Friday, September 14, 2001 I went for my pre-op dietary meeting yesterday night at St. Mary's education center. It was pretty informative. There were probably 35 to 40 people there, and the dietician was OK. She seemed a bit rushed though. But, she did cover the basics and I learned a lot about what I can eat post-op, how we have to go through different food stages (clear liquids, creamy liquids, pureed, etc.). She also talked about different vitamins we'll have to take, protein supplements, etc. Although, she suggested a protein supplement called GeniSoy (a soy-based supplement) but Faye (the leader of the support group) said to stay away from soy. I was sort of confused. I think I'm going to follow the suggestions of Faye because she's had the surgery and knows what she's talking about. How did I meet the leader of the support group, you ask? Well, I'm getting there. :o) After the dietary meeting was over, the support group had their monthly meeting. That was incredible! The room was absolutely packed. Some people were even standing near the back because the seats were all taken. The support group meets the second Thursday of every month, and during each meeting, they have a motivational speaker (This meeting, it was a personal trainer.) and a success story. Faye called it something else, but I can't remember what she called it. Basically, a member of the group who has had surgery stands up and tells her/his weight loss story. I also met a lady who had lost 160 pounds in 10 months. 10 months!! She was only 10 pounds from her goal, and she looked so good! She said her hair was still falling out though, and that worried me. I know it's only hair, but I like mine and want to keep as much of it as I can! Anyway, I also met another post-op (She was seven weeks out and had lost 45 pounds so far). She was cool, too. The support group funds itself by selling the vitamins and protein supplement we need to take. Faye said they work with a pharmacist who makes the vitamins specially for gastric bypass patients. You can break open the vitamin capsule and sprinkle it on hot or cold cereal, in a drink, etc., if you have trouble swallowing pills. Most multi-vitamins can't do that. How could I forget the most important thing???!!! I met Lori face to face for the first time last night! She was about 20 minutes late to the dietary meeting (LOL), but we got along really well and went out to the Olive Garden for dinner afterwards. That was probably the most fun part of the evening. haha! We got there sort of late, and were handed one of those vibrating, light-up things that they set off to let you know when your table is ready. Sounds pretty normal, right? Well, I'd like to add that we were the only people in the lobby, and our name was the only one on the waiting list, OK. So, about five minutes later, our pager thingy goes off and we're taken to the non-smoking section and there are only like three or four other tables that are full. The place was, for all intents and purposes, dead! But, the food and the service were excellent. Except for when our waitress spilled a huge pile of black pepper on the carpet when she was filling the pepper shaker. Ah, what an evening! It was good though. :)
Thursday, September 20, 2001 I had all my pre-op tests yesterday...abdominal ultrasound, chest x-ray, bloodwork, paperwork, physical and EKG. I haven't gotten the results of them yet (except for the ultrasound...the tech. told me everything looks good) and I'm a little worried. Number 1, I'm worried about my chest x-ray. I smoked up until a couple weeks ago, and what if my x-ray turns out bad? Same goes for my blood gasses. What if I don't have enough oxygen in my blood?? AAAHHH!!! I need to calm down. Also yesterday, Lori and I went to our Behavior Modification class. Um, well I can't think of any words to describe that. The instructor (a nurse who used to work with gastric bypass patients) was...different. He was very funny and did a good job explaining things but he was a very odd bird. I learned a lot though, about how to avoid stress, and if you can't avoid it, how to calm down and de-stress yourself, I guess. Afterwards, Lori and I went out to eat at Lone Star and pigged out again. I haven't had steak that good since I can remember! I'm really going to miss that sort of thing after surgery, but I'd rather be healthy and thin and have to give up a few things than unhealthy and fat and miserable. Well, I don't know...I guess we can eat steak, but I've heard red meat is very difficult for our bodies to digest. Not this steak though...I could have cut it with a fork. :) BTW...the fact that I'm having surgery still hasn't hit yet. I have my psych. evaluation tomorrow, so maybe the therapist will knock some sense into me!
September 21, 2001 I tell you what...the excitement never ends around here! I had my psychiatric evaluation today, and I passed with flying colors. Woo hoo! I was nervous for no reason...the lady who evaluated me was extremely friendly, although she did stare a lot. Even after I had finished talking, she still maintained eye contact for another two to three seconds. Freaky. Anyway, one more thing I don't have to worry about. She said I make a great candidate. :) But (yeah, there's always a but) I do have one little thing to worry about. A nurse from my surgeon's office called today to tell me I have H. Pylori (the bacteria that's responsible for gastrointestinal ulcers). Yuck yuck blech yuck! For the next 10 days, I'll be taking 2000 mg. of amoxicillin, 1000 mg. (I think...I can't remember the actual dosage on this one.) of Biaxin, and 40 mg. of Prilosec every day. Hopefully it'll knock this crap out of me. H. Pylori is an interesting thing to have. (Hint: Click on the highlighted H.Pylori above and read about it!!) I can not WAIT until I have surgery!!
September 24, 2001 Today I had my final class before surgery...the nursing class. It was pretty good. The nurse that held the class was very funny. :) She explained to us about the drugs we'd be getting after surgery, how to get in and out of bed easily, about the different drains and I.V.s we'd have in us...stuff like that. I'm not really getting nervous yet, though. Lori and I were talking over dinner, and the few times I've been a teensy nervous, it was because of the changes I've have to make after surgery...not the surgery itself. She's more nervous about the actual surgical procedure. I'm still sticking to my prediction of when it'll hit: On the O.R. table. I'm NOT going to freak out. I'm NOT going to freak out. :)
Thursday, September 27, 2001 OK, nothing major to report today, just that I've noticed myself eating a lot more recently. Not necessarily since I found out I was approved for surgery, but I mean RECENTLY recently. (I gained 9 pounds from the date of my surgical consult. to the day of my physical. Did I already mention that?) I've also been eating things that I know I'll probably never get to eat again, like chocolate. And lots of it. Today for lunch, I had an OK lunch...BLT with fries. No big deal, right? Well after lunch, I ate about 8 or 9 pieces of chocolate for dessert. Uhh...well it was good! And they were little!! Oh, I also gave one them them to a co-worker, so that's one less than I thought I had eaten. So NYAH! :P I also found out today that my sister is actually worried about me and my upcoming surgery. She's worried 1) that something bad will happen during surgery, and 2) that I don't know what I'm getting myself into (food wise) and that I'm going to freak out afterwards when I want a double with cheese from Wendy's and can't have one. I mean, not RIGHT after surgery, but on down the road whenever I get hungry for one, ya know? I put her mind at ease though, when I told her I was all prepared, blah blah blah. We also discussed how it hasn't quite "hit" me yet, and she brought up a very good point...it might be the tegretol I'm taking. I take it for seizures, but it's also used for treating bi-polar (manic depressive) disorder. That might explain why I don't really care or worry about anything. That sounds horrible. Let me try to explain. :o) It's not that I don't care or worry...I do...I care about a lot of things, and worry about things often, but not to the extent that other people do. Tegretol sort of smooths out the nerves and calms people down (that's why it's used for manic depressives), and it tends to make one not worry so much, if that makes sense. Plus, I seemed not to have inherited the "worrying" gene, like everyone else in my family has. They're some of the worrying-est people I think I've ever met, honest to God! Me, well I just sit back, relax and realize that worrying doesn't do any good, and nine times out of 10, things work out for the better (which is true). :o) That's all I have to report tonight. Nothing thrilling, I know. Actually, this entry wasn't particularly weight loss surgery related either. Oh well. :P
Tuesday, October 2, 2001 Breeeaaathe in, breeeaaathe out. I just have to remember to take deep breaths and it'll be alright. :) You really have to watch Lori though... Earlier today I told her I was a little nervous, and she had me doing lamaze/labor breathing. lol! Seriously, I'm doing OK for the most part. I just have to realize that I'm not doing this alone. I have friends who are having surgery on the same day as me (Hi RB!), a day after me (Lori! YEAAH!), and a week or so after me (Michelle), and then there's the awesome support group that Commonwealth Surgeons has, so it's all good. Speaking of Michelle, she has a cool website (with kick a$$ graphics and pictures) that you need to check out. The link to her page is on the main page of this site. Very nice page! Today has been a fun day. I tried tried TRIED to get caught up at work so I wouldn't leave a bunch of stuff for other people to do while I was out, but of course that didn't work. :o) I did get a lot accomplished, but not all I wanted to. Also this evening as I was walking out the door, someone who works in a different section from me stopped me and said, "So I understand you won't be with us for a couple weeks. Out on medical leave?" (He wasn't being smart about it...he's a really nice guy and was genuinely concerned it seemed.) I asked him who told him, and at first he didn't want to say, but I got it out of him eventually. :o) I'm good at that sort of thing. lol Anyway, a secretary in his section told him. Keep in mind this woman is not a coworker of mine. I mean, we work at the same office, but in different sections. I really wouldn't consider her a friend...We speak casually, but it's usually not more than a "hello" as we're passing each other down the hall. Anyway, apparently she somehow found out I was going to be out on medical leave and is telling people. I don't know how many people she's told so far...just the one guy that I know of, but she has a rather large mouth, so who knows how far it'll spread before it's all said and done. Probably throughout the whole office. >:o| So far, I've told only a handful of people at work that I'll be out. I've told four people exactly WHY I'll be out (gave them specifics about the surgery) and I know that none of them would ever say anything to anyone about it. As far as telling other people, I've told three other people that I'll be out having surgery. One is my immediate supervisor. He'd never say anything to anyone because...well, he just wouldn't. He's not that type of guy...very by-the-book, private, workaholic type of person. He's cool though. Probably the best supervisor/boss I've ever had. :) The other two are who I'm pointing the finger at. One is our benefits administrator (the person who I initially went to to tell her I was going to be out, I was going to have to go on short term disability, blah blah blah.) She's a known gossip. And all her little friends upstairs in the administration department hang on to every word she says like she's quoting scripture. It's SICKENING! The other suspect is our division administrative assistant. I've heard plenty of gossip that's started from around her section. I hear something about someone and I'll ask the person who told me, "Where'd you hear that?" and nine times out of then, that person'll say, "Oh, I heard it from XXXXXX." (The adm. assistant) I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. Maybe it's my shot nerves just acting up on me. Probably not though...I truly am angry about this. But, I definitely have more important things to worry about than a bunch of gossips. I'm gonna be crossing over onto the other side tomorrow. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!! I won't be writing again until I've crossed over, so goodnight journal!! POST-OP
Sunday, October 28, 2001 Oh My God. Do you have ANY idea how mad I am right now? AAAAAHHHHHH!! I just wrote about an hour's worth of updates in my journal and the computer freaked out on me and didn't save it! I'll write the update again tomorrow, but for right now, I have to get to bed because tomorrow is my first day back at work. Ugh! :( Anyway, I'm doing fine and I'll update tomorrow.
Friday, November 2, 2001 In my last entry, I said I'd write the next day, but obviously I didn't. Oopsa. :) I'm very bad about not doing things I say I'll do. Nothing much happening today. I'm at work now, so I don't have time to update my journal with my whole story of surgery, recovery, etc., but I do want to tell you that my stomach is freaking out on me. It started the day I came back to work (Oct. 29). Mid-morning, I developed a crampy, uncomfortable pain in my upper abdomen, just below my breast bone. The pain sort of came and went...really no rhyme or reason. It did go away temporarily after I ate, but came back about five minutes after I finished eating. That lasted Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. By Thursday morning, the pain was back, but it was...different. It was more pinching than cramping and as the morning progressed, it moved lower down into my abdomen, near my belly button. I walked around a little that morning and by the time I got to CVS to get a few things, it felt like moderately bad gas pains in my intestines. I got back to my office and sort of got busy working on something else, and by lunch time, I realized, "Hey...it doesn't hurt any more!!" Weird stuff I tell ya! Anyway, now I'm feeling pretty good. I was a little freaked out yesterday though. I was running late for work, so I skipped breakfast. I got here and realized I hadn't brought anything for lunch. There are plenty of places downtown to eat, but none of them have fat free cottage cheese or mushy canned vegetables, ya know? So, I went to CVS and was looking for something...ANYTHING...to eat and found the protein bar section. I spent a good 15-20 minutes looking through their selection, and finally found one that has 1.5 grams of fat and 3 grams of sugars. I called the nutrition hotline number on the back because there were some ingredients listed on the wrapper that sounded like types of sugar, but I'd never heard of them. The lady I spoke with told me that they are natural sugars (but not cane sugar) that are modified so that they're easier to digest and they're gentler on the digestive tract. Alright...I'm in business now! So, I ate part of the bar for breakfast, part for lunch and now I'm eating it for lunch again today. So far, I've gotten three meals out of a 1.75 oz. protein bar! LOL I don't know what it is...I think it's a combination of me not really wanting to eat in the first place, and also, I think when I eat the bar, it must expand in my stomach or something. But, needless to say it went down well and agreed with me, so I'm happy. :) Time to get back to work. I'll hopefully write more sometime this weekend.
Friday, November 9, 2001 I figured it was about time I write about my hospital experience. :) I arrived for my surgery at 6:00 a.m. and was almost immediately taken to a small room where patients and their family can wait. I wasn't there for even five minutes when a lady called me back. I wasn't too nervous really up until that point. As soon as she called me back, I sort of broke down and cried a little and hugged my sister goodbye. The lady told me to use the bathroom if I needed to (which I did) and then led me to a curtained area where I changed into my hospital gown (too small, of course) and a hair net/shower cap thing and some booties. A very nice nurse came in and started the I.V. in my left hand and asked me a couple questions (Are you allergic to anything, did you have anything to eat after midnight? etc.) She got my I.V. going, then a short while later the anesthesiologist came in and asked me more questions (Pretty much the same thing the nurse asked me). He wrote went and got some drugs (not sure what kind) and put them into my I.V. I started to get sort of sleepy/woozy shortly thereafter, then another lady came in and asked me MORE questions (I can't remember what at this point because I was sort of out of it.), then more people came in one by one (people who were going to be in the O.R. with me) and introduced themselves. Another anesthesiologist came in and told me he was going to start my central line in my neck and that I might feel a little stick (which I didn't because I was totally loopy on whatever medicine it was that they had given me earlier and I slept through the whole thing). The next thing I know, I'm in the O.R. and someone was telling me they were going to put my arms out at my sides and fasten them down, but not to worry. Then, I remember someone saying something like, "No, it'll work better if they're close to her sides", and they put my arms flush with my sides. The next thing I remember was sort of half waking up in the recovery area and croaking out that I needed something to drink. Someone brought me some ice chips and oh my God were they good! My throat was SO hoarse and I was dying of thirst. The next thing I know, I was being wheeled into my room and situated in a very strange position called "reverse trendelenburg". It wasn't uncomfortable, but I remember almost sliding out of the bed because it was at such a high angle (My head was elevated and my feet were near the ground.) and there wasn't much of a foot board on the bed for me to rest my feet. I saw my sister and Steve (her boyfriend) and I'm not sure if they were there when I got there or if they showed up after I got to my room. Keep in mind I have absolutely no idea what kind of time frame all this occured in...it could have been minutes or it could have been hours. My mom called and I thanked her very much for the flowers she sent. Then a co-worker showed up and we talked a little while. (About what, I can't remember.) The nurse came in and she and my sister grabbed the sheet I was lying on and sort of hoisted me up higher on the bed (because I was still sliding downward). My friend from work left, then my sister and Steve left a while later. After everyone left, I asked the nurse if she could put a sign or something on the door that I didn't want any more visitors. I was SO tired and all I wanted to do was rest. A little while later, my good friend from work, Tonya, stopped by and saw the sign and asked the nurse if she could come see me. The nurse asked me and I told her no, that I wasn't up to having visitors, so Tonya left. I really wanted to see her, but I was still so drowsy from the anesthesia that I wasn't in my right mind I guess. I'M SOOOOO SORRY TONYA!!! (She still won't let me live that one down!) Tonya brought me a people magazine and an absolutely gorgeous dozen yellow roses. The next day when I realized what she'd done, I felt so guilty. :( I still do. I remember not being in too much pain from the actual surgery, but the gas was HORRID. And I do mean horrid. It wasn't so much painful as it was extremely uncomfortable. (I should mention that this wasn't intestinal gas pain...this was from the gas they filled my abdominal cavity with during surgery so they could see everything inside me clearly.) No matter what I did, I just couldn't get comfortable. Of course, I couldn't do much of anything...I was sort of stuck on my back. :) But I did try to change the position of my arms and legs and that didn't help. I think I might have drifted in and out of sleep because the next thing I remember, it was dark and a nurse had come in to check on me and I begged her to help me change positions or something because I was so uncomfortable. Well God bless her and the other nurse helping her because they found me a recliner from somewhere and helped me into it. Ahhh! Talk about heaven. After that, they gave me a sugar free popsicle (almost as good as getting out of that damned bed!) and I ate it and drifted off to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and was in a little pain and the nurse came in and gave me a shot of morphine. As soon as I started drifting off, I couldn't breathe. It was like I had a pile of lead on my chest...I absolutely could not take in a deep breath. I called to my roommate who wasn't in her bed, so she didn't hear me. I couldn't reach the call button for the nurse because I was in the recliner and the call button was way over on the other side of the bed, so I started screaming my head off. Keep in mind I was still extremely hoarse, so I have no idea how loud I was, but at the time, I thought I must have been yelling loud enough for people half way around the world to hear me! After having nobody come to check on me, and being scared to death that I was going to suffocate, I gradually tried to slow my breathing down enough to get in enough air to breathe and I guess it worked because I ended up dozing off again. The basic stuff happened the rest of the night...nurses coming in and taking my blood pressure, changing my I.V. bags, etc. The next day, I woke up and my day shift nurse asked me if I wanted to get up and walk. I told her sure, so she said she'd come in and help me wash up. Well, she DIDN'T help me wash up...I had to wash myself! Probably the most enjoyable thing about the whole hospital stay were the wash cloth/baby wipe things they had. They're like really really thick baby wipes that are soaked with some sort of cleanser, and the nurses put them in the microwave to heat them up. They were SO nice. Anyway, I ended up sitting myself up in the recliner and washing my arms, chest, stomach, etc. the best I could. I couldn't bend down to reach my legs, but that was OK I suppose. I had so many I.V. lines and my catheter and all that stuff that I was lucky I didn't get myself into a tangled mess. :) Anyway, the nurse came back and when I was done, she helped me to my feet and walked a lap around the floor with me. I went back to my room after one lap and sat back down and she hooked the compression booties back onto my feet. (I forgot...whenever I wasn't walking, I had these little shoe things on my feet that would squeeze my feet every couple seconds to keep my blood flowing.) I started off the morning with my breakfast (YUCK) of really nasty, bland broth, sf jello, apple juice and coffee. I could take only a few sips of the juice and coffee, and ate a tiny spoonful of the jello, and that was it. When lunch rolled around, they gave me the same thing only the broth was a different flavor, and I had grape juice. Same thing...only a few tiny sips. I waited the rest of the day for Lori to come in, but it took her forever! I remember telling at least two nurses the day before that I wanted to make sure she and I would be room mates, and they assured me we would be. Well come to find out, Lori HADN'T been scheduled to be in the same room with me. Thankfully she told someone before she went in for her surgery and that person straightened everything out. Anyway, I'm getting off track here. I'm sure this is getting confusing. :) About lunch time, my room mate left, so I had the room to myself. I didn't do much except walk and sort of half-assed watched TV. My sister and Steve showed up in the afternoon and we visited and talked a while. We walked a couple laps around the floor (Every nurse I talked with assured me that was the only way to get rid of the gas pains, so I walked as much as I could. It didn't seem to help much though. But, I was bored and so I walked.) Dr. Harrington showed up a while later and asked how I was doing. I told him fine, and asked how the surgery went. He said there were no surprises, and everything went fine. My sister asked him why I was so late getting to my room (My surgery was at 7:30 a.m. and I didn't get to my room until after 4:00 p.m.) and he said the surgery took a while longer than he expected because he had some new people working in the O.R. with him, but that everything went well. He left, then after dinner (it was dark at that point, but I don't remember what time) Lori was wheeled in to the room and set up in her bed. She was in the reverse trendelenburg position too, but her bed was much newer and nicer than mine, and actually had a foot board where she could brace her feet! I asked her how she felt and she said OK, but she was totally out of it and I'm sure she was tired, so I went back to my chair and rested. My sister and Steve left at that point. Several times through the night, I'd ask the nurse for shots of morphine and every time she gave me one, I'd drift off, then wake up gasping again. I didn't get any rest that second night in the hospital, so I pretty much walked off and on all night long. After a while, I realized it was the morphine making my breathing difficult, so I stopped asking for it. The next morning, they started me on the CIB. Same diet as before, only instead of the broth, I had a CIB. I made the mistake of sipping the CIB then sipping the juice and I felt sort of nauseous. I figured everything was liquid, so I could drink them alternately. According to Dr. Harrington, the CIB is considered a solid, and that's why I was nauseous. The nurse came in and helped Lori up and helped her bathe herself with those awesome wash cloth things and made her comfortable, etc. She asked me if I needed help, but I was feeling better (The gas pains were going away, thank God!) and I could move around a little easier, so I bathed myself. She also gave me a clean hospital gown to wear, which the nurse the day before hadn't! She and the night shift nurse I had the night before were totally awesome. Now THEY were good nurses! Anyway, I think I spent most of the second day walking the halls and waiting for Dr. H to come by so I could get the hell out of there! Lori and I chatted and took walks together and I was *ahem* nice enough to let her sit in MY recliner because hers was uncomfortable. hehe ;) Late in the morning, I asked the nurse if they could take the I.V. out of my hand (it wasn't really doing anything because all the fluids and medicines they were giving me were going through my central line) so she removed it. A little while later, I asked if she could remove my catheter too, and a nurse came in and removed that for me too. I was so glad to have that damn thing out! Even though I didn't have to pee, it still felt like I did, and it was very annoying. Lori, however, had hers out the very next day after surgery! I'm still wondering if I had crappy nursing care because I have an HMO. hehe just kidding :) Around 2:00 p.m., my sister showed up, and shortly after that, Dr. H came by and asked how I was feeling. He asked me if I had passed gas yet (which I hadn't), so he ordered a suppository for me. WHEEE! lol So, the nurse I had the day before (the not very good one) brought it in and asked if I needed help. I wasn't about to ask her for a damn thing since she hadn't helped me the day before, so I said no thank you, and took it into the bathroom with me and put it in myself. You want to talk about a contortion act! It took me a while, but I got everything straightened out, and came back out and waited for it to work. And waited, and waited and waited. I kept having these false alarms where I felt like I had to pass gas or go to the bathroom or something, so I'd totter off to the bathroom, but nothing happened. My sis and I walked a couple laps and then sat down and waited. FINALLY, about 4:30 p.m. lo and behold, I FARTED!!! It was one of those silent ones, but it came out and I made sure the nurse knew what I'd done. Lori's and my nurse came back in and removed my central line, and the other nurse went and got the discharge papers and got everything set up for me to leave. In the mean time, my dinner arrived (strawberry CIB, the foulest stuff on the face of this earth) and I choked down one or two sips of that. The discharge nurse came back and told me I needed to drink more and I promised her I'd drink some at home, so she gave me my instructions and my prescriptions and we finally left! Before I forget, when I put on my clothes to leave, they were skin tight! I was so full of the I.V. fluids, that I was bloated beyond belief! I stayed with my sister the first two weeks after surgery, so we had to drive an hour to her house. It wasn't too bad. The only thing I didn't like was that I had so many flowers, I had to keep a vase on the floor between my feet and two vases of them on my lap, so I wasn't really sitting in a comfortable position, but it still wasn't bad. I've read where people say the ride home is hellish, every bump they hit hurts them, etc., but I was fine. The first couple days at my sister's house, I did nothing but sleep off and on in the recliner, take short walks and drink my CIB. I was supposed to be getting in four of them a day (HA HA Yeah right!) but I wasn't doing very well with that. By the third day I was so sick of them I would almost break down in tears every time it was time to drink one. Well, there's more to add, but I'm tired and ready to go to bed. I'll write more later!
November 27, 2001 I know I need to finish writing about my hospital/recovery experience, but I don't have time right now. :( I just wanted to say that as of November 26, 2001 (roughly 7 weeks post-op), I've lost 54 pounds! WOO HOO!!
December 4, 2001 Well well well. Guess who. Yes, I'm FINALLY updating my journal. :o) Not that there's really much to update, but it's been a while, so I thought, "What the heck." I weighed myself today (like I do every Tuesday morning) and found that I've lost 60 pounds so far. Not too shabby for two months post-op. ;o) I've also been getting a lot of stares at work. People who I don't see every day have been passing me in the halls and I smile, say hello and keep walking. Nine times out of ten, I'll turn my head around as I'm still walking and lo and behold, they've turned around too to take a second glance. Ha ha! Then there are the obvious people who know me well and comment all the time on how great I'm looking, etc. I can tell I've lost weight simply by the way I feel, the amount of energy I have and definitely by how my clothes are fitting, but I don't "see" it when I look in the mirror. I might think, "Yeah, my ankles are looking thinner, I think." but it's not blatantly obvious to me like it seems to be for everyone else. I guess because I'm me. I have a feeling no matter how much weight I lose, I'm always going to see a fat person. I was bad this past weekend. Very, very bad. :( See, I found out the hard way that I don't dump. Not at all. Not on anything I've tried so far, anyway. I'm not going around snacking on different, bad-for-me foods, but occasionally the urge sinks in and I'll try something. This past weekend, for example, I was at my sister's house visiting, and she had a candy bar that she bought the day before. This is no ordinary candy bar...no way. This thing was HUGE and it was "honey crunch" or something like that. It turned out to be very similar to a Nestle Crunch bar, only the crunchy bits weren't the same as a Crunch bar...they were filled with honey. OH MY GOD. I had just a teeny taste of it, and about 30 minutes went by with no nausea, sweating, chills, diarrhea...the typical dumping symptoms, so I had another, slightly bigger bite. And another. And another. It was absolutely horrible. I mean, the candy was fantabulous! But the feelings of guilt afterwards were overwhelming. I felt SO BAD for eating that candy. Over the course of that weekend (Sat. and Sun.) I ate probably the equivalent to a regular size Hershey bar. Then...THEN as I was walking out the door on my way home, I had a small slice of Entenmannn's raspberry danish. Nope, still no dumping. I fell asleep that night just KNOWING that I'd gained weight. Like I said earlier, I always weigh myself on Tuesdays, but you can bet your sweet butt that I was weighing myself first thing Monday morning! Anyway, I ended up losing another pound over the weekend, but I still have to wonder had I not eaten all the candy (Which, I forgot to add, I washed down with 2% milk right after I ate it.), I might have lost more. The truly strange thing is, I didn't want the candy...it was there and I just, well, I just ate it. I'm still a little freaked out because I think this is the beginning of my old eating habits creeping back up on me. :( But, I've been good so far this week, so I'm not going to stress over it. I just won't do it again. I also need to seriously work on my exercising. I've been so horrible about that. Ever since that one episode a couple weeks ago when my stomach started hurting and I was bright red and felt sick while walking on the treadmill, I've been sort of freaked about doing it again. Now I'm able to take bigger sips of water and feel really good, so maybe I'll try it again tomorrow before work. It'll definitely wake me up and get me ready for the day. :o) That's about all that's going on now, so I'm gonna wrap this up. Hope everyone is doing well.
December 26, 2001 Merry (late) Christmas! I just got in from the airport from visiting my mom, and I'm exhausted. I just wanted to say that as of today, December 26, 2001 (about a week shy of three months post-op) I've lost 77 pounds!! I was even reallllly bad on this trip. I ate fudge (just a teeny piece), a slice of birthday cake (also a small piece. At least, much smaller than I would have eaten pre-op!), a frosting rose from the top of the cake (bad me!) and a couple other things. Of course I didn't eat all this in one sitting, but I did eat it, and boy was it good! Except for when I ate the cake. It was good, but about 20 minutes after I ate it, I had to go to bed. I just had this all over "blah" feeling. No other way to describe it. Anyway, I won't be doing that again any time in the near future. I know this is short, but I need sleep!!
January 9, 2002 HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Better late than never, right? :-D I figured it had been long enough since my last update, so I decided to write some. I had my three month follow-up appointment today. It was supposed to be on Jan. 3, but we were snowed in. LOL I've lost a total of 90 pounds so far. I also had bloodwork done today, but I won't get the results of that until next Tuesday. I'm very faithful about taking my vitamins, so I hope all goes well with that. I asked the nurse practitioner about deficiencies, and she said if I'm taking my vitamins, I should be OK. She did say I might have a small protein deficiency, though. But I think that's sort of to be expected. I've also gone from a size 26/28 to an 18. Woo hoo! A coworker gave me several outfits of hers today that don't fit anymore, and they're all size 18. I was a little skeptical at first, but decided to take them anyway. I got home and tried them on, and except for one dress, they all fit!! I was so excited, I couldn't sit still. :-D I haven't taken my measurements recently, so I have no idea where I am in that respect. I REALLY need to get a tape measure. I'm interested to see where I stand as far as that goes. Not much going on here, so I'm gonna head out. Hope all have a good night!
January 28, 2002 I had the best weekend! I FINALLY drove to No. VA and visited Lori in her new apt. (which is very nice, by the way Lori!) and we had a very good time. We went to eat at a restaurant that a couple friends suggested, and man was it good! I got two jumbo lump crabcakes that came with fries and coleslaw, but I substituted the fries for broccoli and cauliflower that had, I think, butter and garlic on it, and freshly grated romano cheese. Lori had the filet mignon, red skin mashed potatoes and mushrooms. Her dinner came with a salad (which we split) and we both had bread. Oh, and I traded her my coleslaw for her mushrooms. lol It was SO good! By the time we ate some of the salad and bread, I couldn't eat much of my crab cakes (I think I ate about half of one of them.) so I took them home with me, and they're almost as good the next day. :-D Oh, and we had coffee and split a piece of the absolute best cheesecake I have EVER had for dessert. I've also been on a plateau for the last couple weeks, but I think that it's finally been broken. WOO HOO! At least, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I was stuck at -90 pounds forever, and now I'm at -94 pounds! Go me! Then again, maybe it's not a plateau...maybe my weight loss is slowing down. Who knows. All I know is that I'm feeling GREAT and I wouldn't trade the way I feel right now for all the tea in China. :) Nothing much else going on, really. Oh, well after we went out to eat, we went bowling and then to the movies and we got some nachos. I think I ate too much of the cheese sauce, though. lol I felt kinda icky after I ate it, but I stopped when I began to feel bad, and it passed relatively quickly. I got the results of my blood work earlier last week, and I'm apparently OK...no deficiencies in anything, so that's good. :) My dang hair is still falling out though. And that's definitely NOT good. :( I hope it stops soon because I'm going to be bald soon!! Well, not really (I hope), but I have to wonder with the massive amounts that are falling out. :( Anyway, time to get back to work!
February 3, 2002 (Superbowl Sunday!) OK, so I know absolutely NOTHING about football, but I wanted to see what all the hype was about the superbowl, so I'm sort of half listening to it. I've been watching a few minutes of it off and on, and I know one thing...I LIKE football players! Woo hoo! Nothing much to report except that I FINALLY ate something that made me sick! Not that that's a good thing, but I wanted to see what it was like. I didn't do it on purpose though... I ate a piece of string cheese and followed it with about 4 or 5 potato chips. Felt fine going down, but oh boy...about a minute after I ate the last chip, I had this EXCRUTIATING pain in my chest and I just felt very very...hmm. Trying to think of a good word. I just felt sore. I tried to wait it out, but it lasted about two minutes before I couldn't take it anymore and went to the bathroom. As soon as I leaned over the toilet, up it came! I know that's gross, but hey...it happens. lol Anyway, I wasn't heaving and retching--it just sort of came up, and I felt instant relief! God what a good feeling! lol I hope I NEVER have to go through that again. Ugh. On to my weight lost so far. I weighed myself last Monday, and as of then, I'd lost 97 pounds. It's been almost a week now, so it would be really cool if I've hit the -100 lb. mark! I guess I'll find out tomorrow. :) Other than that, nothing exciting happening with me lately (as usual!). I've had a nasty cold and sinus infection this past week and haven't felt like eating AT ALL. I'm trying, but not doing too well. I can tell, too, because I've been especially tired and weak. Of course, that could be from being sick, too. lol And, hair is still falling out, although it seems to be slowing down a little (wishful thinking?). Good night, all! Wednesday, April 24, 2002 OMG...it has been SO long since I wrote in my journal. :-( What can I say...I've been out enjoying life. :-D I had my six month check-up with my surgeon's nurse practitioner, and so far I've lost 120 lb. That's a whole person!!! I was floored when I found out! Actually, it was 117.5 lb. at that time, but since then, I've lost another 2.5 lb. :-D Anyway, all my bloodwork came back PERFECT. No deficiencies, everything right on target, etc. So, needless to say, I'm a very happy camper. :-) I just can't explain how good I feel. Not necessarily physically, but mentally too. I feel like a whole new person. I'm looking better (I think) so I'm feeling better, too. I've been having my nails done, going tanning, got my hair cut, new clothes, having my eyebrows waxed...you name it, I'm doing it. :-) I must say though, that I am EXTREMELY unhappy that I don't dump. I think I mentioned that once before, but I can't say it enough. I WISH I'D DUMP!!! It's way too easy to eat cookies and candy. I'm not pigging out on them, but I wish I could avoid them all together. Oh well...c'est la vie! Anyway, that's about all that's new on this end. Hope everyone is doing well.
Saturday, June 29, 2002 Guess what? I moved to Michigan!! I actually moved here May 20, but have been busy unpacking, looking for a job, etc., so I haven't been paying nearly as much attention to the site as I should have. I also have some very recent pictures that I need to figure out how to get up here on the page, but knowing me, I'll do something to mess it up. Maybe if I send them to Lori and ask nicely, she can do it. :-D Everything is going well on my end. I haven't found a surgeon here in Michigan yet...I'm working on that now. I have, however, weighed myself recently, and as of the beginning of June, I've lost 130 lb. 130!!! I can't believe it. I'm still amazed by this whole thing. :-) Nothing really new to report here. I do have mono. I have NO idea how I managed that one, but honestly, it really hasn't been THAT bad... I've felt a little run down, but that's about it. I thought I had strep throat, so I went to the doctor about two weeks ago and they did blood work and that's how I found out. I think they discovered it at the tail end, so I'm feeling pretty good for the most part. :-) It's late, so I'm signing off and hitting the sack. Hope everyone is doing well out there. :-) Saturday, August 30,2002 Hello! I realize it's been a while since I updated, and, quite frankly, the updates aren't too exciting, but what the hey...It's a boring old Friday night, I'm being lame and not going out, so I figured I'd better update. :-) I went to the county fair a couple weeks ago. I actually had the nerve to have the lady guess my weight! (something I'd never do when I was heavier) OMG! She guessed 170 lb.!! I was thrilled. :-D According to their scales, I actually weigh 186 lb. (A loss of about 150 lb.), soooo... Still not too bad. Of course, I don't know how accurate they are, but what the heck...I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around there. The last time I weighed myself was at the gym, and I weighed 190 lb. according to their scales. That was at the end of July, so it's quite possible I do weigh 186 lb. :-) Anyway, that's about it on my weight loss front. I can't remember if I wrote about my bloodwork in my last post (and yes, I'm feeling especially lazy tonight and I'm not about to go back and read it, lol) so I'll update you on that. I had my bloodwork done at some point at the end of June/beginning of July and everything was fine except for my iron. This is the truly strange part... Most post-op people who have problems with their iron levels have low iron. Well mine was actually high. Strange... So, my surgeon's NP told me to just cut back on the vitamins for a while. I was taking two multi-vitamins with iron a day, and she said to take just one a day for a while and that should get things worked out. Other than that, all is well and I'm still feeling great! Nothing earth-shattering going on here right now. I talked with Lori last night online for the first time in a loooooong time. Woo hoo!! She's doing well, too. If she ever updated HER journal (cough) you might know how she's doing. ;-) Just kidding Lori...you know I loves ya! Lori has actually been very busy working, so we can't be too hard on her. :-) It's late and I'm off to bed. 'Night all!
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 OMG. It has been SO long since I updated!! I've been busy busy busy, lemme tell ya! I FINALLY got a job! Woo hoo! I'm now working as a legal secretary (my chosen field) at a fairly large law firm here in Kalamazoo. This is TOTALLY different from working for the government, but in a good way. I'm actually doing what I went to school to learn to do! lol Anyway, I've been there for about 3 weeks now, and so far so good. :) Oh...OH! And I have a boyfriend now! Jeez, that sounds totally 8th grade. I'm 27 years old and I have a "boyfriend". hehe Well, what would you call him? Anyway, we met back in June online playing cards, and met in person for the first time in mid-Septemter. Things have progressed along quite nicely, tyvm. We're definitely in a steady relationship. This is very strange in a way. Most of my guy friends have been sort of like "friends with benefits", which is OK I suppose, but not what I want out of life. Anyway, I haven't told him about my surgery yet. He knows I don't eat much, and I did mention something last weekend at dinner when he asked me if I wasn't hungry about me having a very small stomach, but I let it drop at that and he didn't press for details. He's so damn cool. :-D Hmm...what else. I'm still plugging along, taking my vitamins (although I have to admit I'm not doing well at all with taking my calcium. :( For some reason I totally forget just about every day, and by the time I remember, it's time to take my second multi-vitamin and you're not supposed to take the calcium and multi-vitamins together...I think they both prohibit the other one from digesting completely or something. Who knows. The good thing is I'm very good about drinking milk and eating yogurt every day, so at least I'm getting SOME calcium. Maybe that'll be my New Year's resolution...TAKE MY CALCIUM! lol Other than that, I'm doing well on the nutrition/vitamin front. I'm overdue for my bloodwork. My one year anniversary was in October, and I didn't have insurance at the time, so I didn't have the labwork done. I'll need to schedule that for some time soon. I think if there was a deficiency somewhere I'd feel sluggish or bad or whatever, but I'm feeling pretty damn good. :) Still, that's not something I want to fart around with...I'll have it done. Honest. :) Hmm...what else. Oh yeah...It's COLD here! Since losing weight, I've become one of those women in the office who keeps a cardigan sweater on the back of her chair. lmao Those women always sort of pissed me off before surgery. I'm like, "Uh, it's like 80 degrees in here...what's SHE doing wearing a sweater?!" lol Now I know. :) I can't think of anything else going on right off the top of my head, so I'm going to wrap this up for the time being. Hope all is going well, and to those of you who just had surgery, it DOES get better, seriously. You have to trust me on this one. ;) To those of you who are doing research, GOOD LUCK TO YOU! This is going to be one of the best things you've ever done for yourself, I know it. :) 'Night all! You can also read Lori's journal by clicking riiiiight about here.
[Co-Morbs][BMI Calcultor] [Resource List] [FAQ] [Contact Us] | ||||||
