Home. About me. /Journal/ Dream. Nothing. Contacts. Demonology. WhiteCure.
Old Journal
Old Journal cont.
Old Journal cont..
I stole a light bulb for my car from Wal*Mart. That's
I wish there were some where I could go to take music
I'm depressed.
Today, today...not sure what I'm doing today.
I'm confused. I'm depressed.
I think tomorrow I'm getting my tattoo, an upsidedown
I love Kristina more than anything in the world.
I'm still confused as to what I am going to do with my life. I don't know
'What will I be in 20 more years? I don't really fucking care!'
I wish I were a better guitar player. I'm alot better than I used to be,
If world peace only cost 69 cents, I'd go buy myself a snickers instead
Go buy some flags, to stick on your car
If some blacks of jews, moved in next door, I wouldn't walk down my street anymore
Go kill some blacks, or burn some jews
-coming to a dumpster near you
I wrote another song the other day. Well, music. Er, I guess I
Happy 14 months to Kris and I, I love you forever.
I dont know what I'm doing with myself. I finished my song for steve,
I am bored. Maladroit paramour
Nothing is new, really. I guess life is ok right now. I get paid today.
Why do some people feel they are better than others?
2:27:am:Tuesday:8:19:03
wonder how long it will last this time. At any rate, I
suppose for now I AM back. Currently I'm updating and
fixing up the site, and soon, maybe even tonight,
there will be a new corner for my band, Lesbian Date
Rape. Good night for now.
But, I do know that it wasn't a bad day.
Right now I'm sitting here with Kristina, waiting
for a file to finish downloading. Earlier we were
at the theater to pick up Bob, and across the
street was this really drunk man listening to
headphones. He was yelling along with the music,
and when some of our group went to talk with him,
he claimed he was jesus.
all for tonight.
stuck in traffic. Some fucking tourists got into a
car accident and blocked up the bypass. Stupid
fucks. Anyway, after that I went and we did laundry.
While waiting I went to cumbies and got a $ scratch
ticket. I won $10 and so we got drinks and stuff.
After that we walked around some more, until it was
done. Fuck, I guess then we came home and I
passed out. Woke up around 11 and went to pick
Bob up, his car is in the shop so I agreed to get
him at work. Then we came home and now I'm
getting ready to go have some sex. I just
finished making updates to the LDR section of
the site. So, for now good night.
I missed being friends. Now we are talking
again. Also, I kind of attempted to talk to Cassy.
She was away, so maybe I'll try again when I have
time. Anyways, I'm only on right now cause
I have to work tonight. Fucking job. But, it
could be a good night. Possibly a great night.
*sigh*
I feel about alot of things. I've been filed with
depression. I hate having a lack of talent. I really hate
myself alot. Anyways, last night we watched bowling
for columbine. I feel that everyone should have to
watch that movie at least once. It was so fucking true
about how much and WHY this country sucks. Why
this country is so fucking violent. I am so utterly sick
inside from living here. So repulsed. I can't wait for
Kristina to graduate. We ARE leaving this country.
At least to Canada.
theory classes. I would really love to understand
music to its fullest. Right now thought I guess I need
to worry about where I'm going to get my rent money
for next month. I quit my job last night, fucking assholes.
They cut my hours because it was apparently too
slow, but then the next morning our fearless leader
hired a new person. I swear to go he doesn't know
what hes doing. So, I'm hoping that tomorrow I will
get hired at Brookestone like I'm supposed to. If not, I
might be in trouble. I'm sure either way I'll figure
somthing out. I have a lot of things to think about, a lot.
slit my throat. I didn't get the job at
Brookestone, so now I don't know what I'm going to
do. Er. Anyways, I have a few applications to
fill out later today. Last night me and Kris went
to my dad's for a cook out. I had already
eaten, so I didn't eat much. And she, of course,
is a vegan so all she ate was a piece of
corn on the cob. Heh.
Hopefully I'll find a job. Depending on what Bob's
doing, I think we may be recording some
music. He wrote another 5 or 6 songs, I swear he's
a fucking machine. Anyways, I'm going to go
now. Until tonight...
come back to me, for I was born in love with thee so why should fate
stand in between?'
american flag.
God shes loud. Today was boring. Me and Kris hung out, she stayed
the night and had the day off. Not that we did anything at all. Actually,
I got pissed off quite a bit through out the day. I blame it on my fucking
wisdom teeth that are trying to sneak their way into my mouth. They are
NOT being very discrete. I will know tomorrow if I am hired or not at 7-11.
I hope so, I hope I can start next week. It would be cool if I could have
this weekend off too, cause then I can take Lee to get her new car. Still
haven't run that plan by Kris yet, I forgot.
what is the best course of action from here. What I should be doing.
What I'll regret not doing now, later. What do I want to be? It troubles
me that I still have no plan, and don't really care much about the future.
*sigh*
On another note, it takes 3 gel tabs to make me feel oh so good.
My wisdom teeth are coming in, and fuck is it annoying. It will
cost way too much just to see the dentist for x rays and shit that
I would need before having them removed, so, I decided that $5
a week or two for pain pills isn't too bad, now that I'll be bringing
home about $400 a week. I'm gonna be getting $9 an hour cause
it's overnights.
but it's not good enough. I've been playing a minimum of an hour a
day latly. And, I've actually been practicing scales and chrods and
shit. I wish I had just taken lessons when I first got my guitar. I
would be good by now. Real good. I guess I'm not bad for teaching
myself. Still, I want to be better. I'm such a fucking child. Some one
shoot me.
extrordinarily busy life to write about how amazingly festive it has been,
sue me. I don't know whats going on in my life. I had a really fucked up
dream last night. Oh, I bet you're in suspence. You can stay that way too.
I started running. I'm going to get in shape. I'm such a fat fucking waste
of existance.
Cause I'm an american, I'm filled with greed, I'm only here to think about me
World peace isn't somthing I need, so stay the fuck away, go hug a tree
I'm an american, born to be free
Go get drunk in one of many bars
Go beat your wife, and polute your yard
We're proud to be americans?
Cause I'm an american, I'm filled with hate, with these minorities, I can't relate
Jumping the border, to get in our state, stealing our welfare, raising tax rates
I'm an america, born to hate
Lets hate everyone, different from you
Born and raised, to be so fucking stupid
Yet we're proud to be americans?
Where are you? I'm living in a dream, a fantasy. Not mine
though. A sick sick deranged person. Who else could fantasize
this as fun? Sure as fuck not me. Work is going. I wish
I were going. The russians are going. October, the first week of
October. I didn't go running today, but, I had long, good, much
needed sex, and boy are my legs tired. *sigh*
have to switch to the ldr/news section
for the rest of the shit I want to write about. To the three of you
desperatly bored, prying peeping toms who twist my arm into
writting all this shit that I write for no other reason than to aquire
your attention, to feel that maybe, to some one I'm worth some
thing, if not just passing entertainment, or some sort of motivational
uplifting self esteem android who only reminds you that you are
at least not THIS pathetic....good night.
its no cradle of filth, but I'm sure he would like it if he were alive
enough to hear it. *sigh* I'll be recording the lyrics for it soon, I took
them from a poem he had written on his site. For now, you can
listen to the music HERE
I'm so tired of all the little things. Maybe when my lease runs
out I'll move to mass. Or vermont. I won't wait for what I'm
starting to doubt is equal. I feel like shit. Kristina is so non
emotional. She is never happy. Even when she says she is,
she lies. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of everything. Everyone. I'm
wasting my fucking life in this town for what? And now I find
out that Bob doesn't plan on getting another place together,
not that he could fucking tell me or anything. I have thought
so many times about killing myself already today. I've cut, and
I'm going to do it again. Hah, wouldn't it be grand to go like
steve. I'm listening to cradle of filth you know. I want to drive
to the top of cathedral ledge and keep going. Right off the edge.
I want to paint rocks red. Everything in life is wrong. I'm done.
I am so unhappy, I want to die.
I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.
Kill me.
than twice a week, if that. It does not fit my daily habbit. Oh,
I know, you are all dissapointed....but oh well.
Me and alex figured I owe him $145. I just now understand the
'Spot Shot' commercial. Ah, I finished the song I wrote for steve.
You can download it HERE. Its
got the lyrics, and guitar-o. I think my mouse is dying. I hope not,
Its not his time yet. The snake is still full. *sigh*
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