On this Site
The 12 Steps from a Buddhist Perspective
Taking Refuge as a Higher Power
Admitting When We Are Wrong While Refraining from Blaming Others
Replacing Shoulds with Healthier Self-Talk
Handling Others' Projections of Character Defects We Actually Have
The Unbearable Cuteness of Consumer Addiction
Being the Best versus Doing my Best
Should I Be Ashamed of Myself? Powerlessness and Unmanageability as Manipulation
Moral Inventory with Self-Love
The Process of Awakening to a Non-Defensive Self
I have started this web page because I aspire to share some of the experience, strength, and hope in the writing I have done on my own recovery journey. One of the greatest obstacles to my sharing these writings has been that all my opportunities for sharing thus far have occurred in venues where I am known to my audience. I cannot disentangle my aspirations to help others from my ego's desire to get credit for being a good person. Sometimes I go ahead and share these kinds of writings in public forums, anyway - but always with some misgivings about my potentially abusing them to present myself in a certain way that I want others to see me. Really, seeing me should not be the point: if there is any truth or help in what I have to say here, "take only what works for you and leave the rest."
Embarking upon a recovery path, I discovered that the language of traditional 12-step programs did not work for me in some ways. In fact, significant portions of the wording played into my sickness and abuse of a victim role in a way that seemed not to follow the spirit or intent that I sensed behind the steps as a whole program of recovery. The first thing I did was rewrite the 12 Steps from a Buddhist perspective of starting where I am, with compassion and gentleness for myself and others. I wanted to communicate that humility comes not from being hard on ourselves, but from forgiving ourselves whenever we screw up just as much as anybody else.
My wish is to move from ego, or self-justification, to the aspiration that all of us be free from the suffering that results from our attempts to justify ourselves.
Please Read These Important Disclaimers:
It is a 12 Step Tradition not to have any opinion on "outside issues" such as religion or spirituality. Therefore, I wish to emphasize that all the writings on this site are my own personal experiences in recovery, and do not reflect the views of any 12 Step program or group.
Further, the ads that make this a free site are not endorsed by any 12 Step program, nor by me personally. It is another 12 Step Tradition that groups be self-supporting, and not take contributions from outside sources. Therefore, visitors to this site should note that I am using this ad-supported site to air my personal opinions on the recovery process, and not those of any 12 Step program or group. Moreover, as I have no control over any of the ads that appear on this site, I state no opinion on the material that appears in any of them.
