Amateur Competitions | Pro-Am Competitions | Shows | Musings | Skater's Toilets! (LOL!) | My Figure Skating Nesting Dolls

Home Figure Skating Life Experiences Writing	This thread was a memorable gem from FSW, and I just wanted to keep it for posterity (or in the words of my 5th grade teacher, not "posterior!" LOL!).
	Dave Barry’s column on Sunday featured an extended discussion of his unhappiness with the "low flown" toilets mandated by congress ("official motto: 100 Senators, 435 Representatives, and No Clues." He says that now he’s feeling pretty darned proud of his country because of his new toilet. He got this new toilet after a plumbing company, Varsity 2000, conducted tests. Varsity built a lab and, "in its quest for the ultimate small toilet, the Tara Lipinski of toilets -- Varsity pushed the criteria even further, straining each model to its limits." Dave went on to say, "It must have been exciting: six toilets, pushing the envelope, going head to head I don’t even want to think about it."    Well, we laughed. But then the thoughts started. If that is the Tara Lipinski of toilets (winning the flushing gold) what about some other plumbing endorsements? The Elvis Stojko Toilet: It’s functional, compact and strictly a urinal, because Elvis doesn’t have an ounce of femininity in him. The Surya Bonaly Toilet: What can I say? Did you really think that it would abide by the 1.6 gallon per flush limit? The Krylova and Ovsyannikov Toilet: it better be in a soundproofed room, because the dramatics and theatrics when it flushes are way over the top. Oh - it also only comes in one color - silver. The Bourne & Kraatz Toilet: It’s fast, follows the rules, but never seems to get the Consumer Reports credit it deserves. Go figure. The Pasha & Platov Toilet: Very sexy design and boy does that water twizzle around - but what’s this? It looks just like the Oksana (that criminal!) toilet. The Michelle Kwan Toilet: Impeccable design, quiet, understated and greatly admired, even if it didn’t win first place in the flushing contest. (And what is it with all this focus on flushing? Why doesn’t it get the credit it deserves for doing so well everything else a toilet is supposed to do?) The Canadian Ladies Toilet: The Canadian Skating Federation wouldn’t allow its toilet to be sent in for testing because it hadn’t performed consistently enough in other tests. (Secretly, they’ve thought of stealing the design for the Michelle Kwan toilet, because that’s the one they really want.) Barb Kostanick
	Sasha Cohen toilet: It would be a vision of loveliness in anyone’s bathroom. Dainty and delicate as a porcelain doll. Warning, This little flusher is still under development and has the occasional glitch. It should develop into the nearly perfect compact model. Jim D.
	The Pasha Toilet: Engaged & full of s*** SHARPIE
	Dorothy Hamill toilet: Became very popular 25 years ago when it was ranked #1 by consumers. Even today, the line and grace of this toilet are enduring and considered a classic. bearpaw
	Kurt Browning toilet: this toilet is extremely versatile and goes with virtually any decor, although it does seem to function best in either soft, romantic modes, or funky, flashy environs. The flushing mechanism experienced a short period of glitches, but has rebounded to win professional flushing competitions the past 3 years, along with recently renovated quad-flushing capabilities...this is one toilet that just seems to get better with age! Lee
	Naomi Nari Nam toilet - Has a quality toward it that seems to "draw" people to it over less interesting models. It is very inconsistent in the flushing job, but is still in heavy development and will come out as a strong toilet. Sarah Hughes toilet - It is an incredibly consistent and proficient in the flushing job. Unfortunately, the toilet was very ugly, drawing people away from it. The astounding improvement in this years' model has gained it many new fans. Matt Savoie toilet - Generally, this toilet does a wonderful flushing job and seems unflappable, even in the big toilet championships. It has a subtle, interesting artistic quality, but often so subtle that it is overlooked. Kacie
	The Julia Soldatova Toilet - Overall decent performance and presentation, although sometimes criticized for swirling about aimlessly for four minutes and its gaudy flesh/pink/green floral print covers. Production has been delayed due to the relocation of its home factory from Russia to Belarus icyboid

Sign My Guestbook

View My Guestbook