In December 1999, Needid choose my page and me as Survivor of the month. I would like to thank Needid for this precious gift. I am very honored! However, I have asked Needid promision to dedicate this award to all the Survivors who have experienced RA/SRA. This award is for me a proof that breaking the silence is possible and that they lied, people believe!
It has been a couple of years since I created this webpage. I have had a lot of reactions on this page. Many were encouraging, but every now and then someone takes the time to write me to "stop lying and start living" as some one wrote me. I really want to say that it is because of those people, the ones who find it all unbelievable, that SRA continues from generation on generation.
The first 26 years of my life were filled with torture and abuse.
The man who I had to call father was a high priest in a satanic cult. The woman who I had to call mother was a member of the same cult. To bring honor to Satan, they used and abused little childeren. It is unbelievable. I know that the world wants to close their eyes. I know that it is easier to deny that SRA exist. I know it is easier to make me a liar or diagnose me with the False Memory Syndrom. But this time I have to stand up for myself. I have to tell. I have to cry, I have to grieve.
If you want to close your eyes, just go ahead and close this page but I will talk. I will break the promise I made to keep silent. I will tell so I can start to find my Inner Peace.
People ask me what the reason is for people to get involved with cult activity. Now I am not in that environment anymore I think it has a lot to do with control. It might even be an excuse to hurt other people. For example, my father was also involved in child-prostitution and pornography. It seems to go hand in hand with cult activity. However, I have cult-alters, they really didn't know any better than the cult way was the normal and only way to live your life. They were never taught that there are different options, they never were given a choice. Slowly, with the help of our therapist and the support people in our lives, especially my partner, they learn that there are other ways, easier ways, and choices. Since SRA is going on from generation to generation, it is of course possible that people involved in cults really don't know any better. I was lucky, I was offered a way out of the cult and have found the help and support needed to stay out of the hands of the cult. Not everyone has that option.
I want to warn you before you decide to read my pages. They are not pretty because my life wasn't pretty. You will read some of the terror and torture I had to go through. Some pages are horrible. If you decide to read them, make sure you are in a safe place.
My Childhood My Future
What is SRA More about DID
Interview I have given Books about SRA & DID Links to other RA/SRA sites
Eating Disorders Join Inner Peace after RA/SRA Webrings I've joined
my Guestbook! |
Sign my Guestbook!