MW Current Events, Page 20

Mr. Wonderful Explains Current Events

05/08/01: Why New Yorker's Live in Fear !
05/07/01: Space Tourist, JPL Scientist !
05/03/01: Meth OK by Libertarian's
04/27/01: Liberal's Hide Assets from View
04/24/01: PT Cruiser Bolts to Bow-Tie !
04/20/01: Baby Smasher, Shocking !
04/17/01: Hefner, a Moral Man ?
04/09/01: Bush Stung by Sting !
04/03/01: Chinese Shot U.S. Spy Plane !
May 8th, 2001: Why New Yorker's Live in Fear !
I was already pissed off the other night when Sam Waterson's character on Law and Order whined that if the New York Attorney's Office did not prosecute an accused woman under the Sullivan Law (which effectively denies handgun ownership to most New York City residents) ". . . we'd have nine million armed citizens!" So? In Arizona most anyone may purchase and openly carry a firearm and we have over five million citizens. What was the writer implying? That if a law-abiding citizen owns a gun he's going to go off randomly shooting people? And if that wasn't enough to set me off, I then read in the Page Six column of May 7th, 2001, "The gun lobby (was) at its looniest" when it "declared that The Holocaust occurred largely as a result of gun control." Nazi Soldier-Friend of LiberalsUnderstand that apparently these journalists believe that if the victims of Nazi atrocities had been armed it would have made no difference to Hitler's thugs tasked to round them up! Recall when the Occupational, Safety and Health Administration proposed a regulation that all home offices were to be inspected and brought up to OSHA standards? All posturing aside, what do you imagine immediately convinced these safety-Nazis to halt their blitzkrieg on the family home? You don't actually believe it was a phone and letter writing campaign to legislators in D.C., do you? I believe it was the fact, that since the majority of federal government employees, while wielding incredible power over us mere taxpayer-citizens, are individually, the most lackadaisical, spineless, pension loving sops taken to hiding 735 page law books stacked to the ceiling, closed and locked steel doors with peep holes. That being the case, OSHA management was understandably scared spitless that an American, exercising his Second Amendment right to firearm ownership, might accidentally or purposely injure an OSHA employee sent from the Great Washington in order to inspect and certify business safety conducted from within his or her very own home! Minimum NYC Door Lock arrangementI propose to let the citizens of New York City, who so very much detest and distrust private firearm ownership, abdicate forever the right to keep and bear arms, thereby ceding gun ownership to the street gangs, the Mafia, the drug dealers, the police (who only occasionally perforate unarmed individuals with fusillades of .45 caliber slugs or who sometimes find the genuine need to ram toilet plunger handles up a suspect's rectum) and the federal government (who a mere six decades ago, using 'racial profiling' rounded up and corralled tens of thousands of honest, innocent, law abiding American citizens of Japanese decent into concentration camps.) I say, let these sad citizens of one of the most 'cosmopolitan' communities ever to grace this planet, continue to tremble in fear while trudging down their garbage strewn and dog-turd ladened streets and while riding the dirty, filthy, crowded subways and while strolling in the park and then ending their day only to spend their nights hiding behind their on-the-take baseball bat toting doormen or silly security entry buzzers and triple locked doors armed with only crayons, orange-tipped toy pistols and knives made of Jello!
May 7th, 2001: "Space Tourist" is Former JPL Scientist !
I've held back on this entry because I wanted to hear for myself how the cable and network media were reporting on Dennis Tito. He's been titled as the first 'Space Tourist' and a millionaire with money to burn. But what you haven't heard is that he worked as an engineer at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab and in 1964 was a crucial element on satellite missions to both Mars and Venus. (Missions that succeeded.) Richard Hoagland related this time-line to me, " . . . It was approximately thirty nine years from the Wright Brother's flight to Lindberg crossing the Atlantic.I.S.S. It was approximately thirty years from Lindberg's crossing to Man landing on the moon . . . " and now it is thirty two years later and who is flying in outer space? Only NASA. If our terrestrial air transport network had developed at this pace we'd all still be riding urine scented cars of Amtrak! Why is the commercialization of space so far behind the curve? Mr. Hoagland speculates that by keeping outer space its exclusive domain, this enables NASA, its employees and contractors, to continue to harvest profits on a scale which would make power, oil and tobacco executives blanch in shame. Not only did NASA pull every political string and attach every possible restriction (whether it passed the laugh test or not) to Tito's visit to the $95 billion I.S.S., but prior to the launch of his Russian supplied space vehicle, every single computer on the International Space Station 'crashed' and (according to Mr. Hoagland) had its hard drive reformatted or strangely enough physically removed, packed-up and space-shuttled back to Earth! We believe the perjuriously labeled 'Space Tourist,' Mr. Tito, as an independently wealthy former JPL engineer, would be in a rare position to peak inside the three decades old cocoon of mystery and peril that NASA, our government and the space community has shielded space travel in. A peak, which these entities were committed to blind at all costs.

May 3rd, 2001: Libertarian's Say Speed is Okay !
The other day here in Phoenix, we witnessed an hour's police chase of a crazed felonious bitch who had truck-jacked some poor fool's F150 Ford. This damsel in need of her distemper shots pushed the pickup until it was skating on the wheel rims, ending up in a parking lot of a senior-care home that she was employed at, and holing herself up in the kitchen. Note the background of this message. Click to visit! This mad-dog dame was correctly put out of her misery by Phoenix Police Department officers as she pointed her Sig-Sauer® at the seniors. Later that evening, as I forced Mrs. Wonderful to watch the chase scene on the news, I learned that this woman was the mother of eight children and four months pregnant at the time of her perforation by Phoenix PD. (I can guarantee you that those eight children were not the result of any less than eight different fathers.) When I heard the news reader report that the deceased was wanted for "theft of mail matter." I immediately yelped at my spouse, "She's a speed freak!" Which was confirmed just an instant later when the five speakers of my Sanford & Son surround sound system rumbled with the words, ". . . meth addict." Having just completed eighteen months on a federal grand jury I knew that if a person was stealing mail ("theft of mail matter") that that person had most likely also chosen to become addicted to methamphetamines (speed). For mail theft holds an uncanny attraction for 'meth-heads'. And sadly, when these disturbed individuals are committing harmful acts while under the influence, the only way to deal with them is to put them down like a sick animal. Oh, by the way, Libertarians would allow 'meth' to be an over the counter drug available to anyone. Imagine that.

April 27th, 2001: Liberals Hide Assets & Actions with Attorneys & Security!
Sen. Hillary Clinton in Vietnam I understand that Senator Clinton had a large soiree at her neo-Nazi, I mean, neo-Georgian Embassy Row manse Wednesday night. However, even to her Marxist sycophants certain areas of the home were closed off, as Senator Diane Feinstein noted, "There was someone standing at the living room door, which said to me, 'Do not enter.' " The Actress OprahAnd over at Proof-that-racism-is-dead-in-America, the O Corporation, headed by the weeping Winfrey, we discover lawyers obscuring the truth. If you wish to write for "O, The Oprah Magazine" you must sign a contract that makes laboring on the ultra-secret WWII Manhattan Project seem like a trip to the Maricopa County Fair, witness: ". . . obligated to keep confidential and never disclose . . . confirm or deny the veracity of any statement or comment concerning Oprah Winfrey . . ." Man, that's one paranoid liberal bitch! But doncha know? The way Hillary and Oprah operate is the way all liberal-socialists, who have been tossed into the public arena, must function to continue to receive accolades from their well meaning, but pitifully ignorant supporters. Sometimes, like former Democrat Senator Bob Kerrey, these passionate liberals are even able to bury more than the evidence of purloined sofas or back stage bitch fits.

April 24th, 2001: PT Cruiser Designer Bolts to the Bow Tie !
Bryan Nesbitt Over at Yahoo! News we read that thirty five year old Bryan Nesbitt, exterior designer of the wildly popular PT Cruiser, has left der Fatherland to relocate at the 100% red blooded, beef eating, pride of America, General Motors Corporation. In recent communications with Mr. Nesbitt, your Mr. Wonderful had detected severe discontent and I privately predicted he would soon be leaving Daimler-Chrysler which has been blitzkrieged by its' German owners replacing American management with hand-picked Hun's. Being 50% German, your Mr. Wonderful predicted this inevitability shortly after discovering Mercedes held 51% of the newly merged Daimler-Chrysler Corporation.

April 20th, 2001: Baby Smasher

April 17th, 2001: Hugh Hefner Pro-Life?
A younger Hugh Hefner disembarking his private 727 jet. Reading in the March 2001 hard-copy issue of Vanity Fair, which had, as most issues do, several well researched and well written columns, I digested an article about Playboy founder, Hugh Hefner. In the piece he reminisced about his early adult years:

. . . "in my first marriage my head was somewhere else completely. I really didn't want the children" - Christie and her brother, David . . . - "and didn't plan them, but I accepted it as simply a part of life."
In other words, the father of the 'Sexual Revolution', now three score and 15 years old, did not choose to have his own unplanned children aborted outside the United States.

In the same issue we hear from the fortyish actress Julianne Moore as she speaks of the joy of motherhood:

"I wasn't prepared for how happy it would make me - for the depth of my happiness. There's nothing better than choosing to be a parent." Moore feels so strongly about choice that she has starting working with Planned Parenthood. "Abortion has been safe and legal for 28 years, and there's a whole generation of girls who don't know their reproductive rights are threatened," She says.
Quite a contrast, eh? The amoral pig, Hugh Hefner, who later began the 'Sexual Revolution' (and most likely, the Gonorrhea Civil War and the decades long Chlamydia Conflict) like a real man, like a responsible human being, rather than murdering his own offspring, simply "accepted it as a part of life". While the unmarried, multi-millionaire, movie starlet, Julianne Moore, raised under the moral confusion and unbridled selfishness spawned by "Hef", considers the birth of a child, not a flesh and blood issue (pun intended) but, solely, a matter of today's modern American female's "reproductive rights".

April 9th, 2001: Bush Stung by Sting !
Singer Sting Over at Ananova we see British rock star, Sting, criticizing President George W. Bush for not signing onto the Kyoto Accords. (Know that these same 'Accords' consider carbon dioxide, C02, a pollutant, thereby labeling all humans as 'polluters.') Sting is dearly concerned about the fanciful danger of 'global warming.' Hmmmm . . . wasn't this the same dude whose career was only recently revived by appearing in an advertisement for Jaguar automobiles? Isn't the fossil burning internal combustion engine, under the hood of that same luxury vehicle claimed to be the biggest contributor to 'global warming'? Recall that this is the same cerebral Sting, who when rooming at the Phoenix, Arizona Ritz-Carlton, was specifically and intentionally warned to be careful crossing the eight-laned Camelback Road that lay between the hotel and the exclusive Arizona Biltmore shopping center. So how does this great intellectual proceed? He jay-walks Camelback Road and is narrowly missed by a skidding red Range Rover, a silver 740il BMW and an off-white four door International Harvester lawn care truck loaded with illegal aliens!

April 3rd, 2001: Chinese Fighter Shot U.S. Spy Plane !
Mig-21 fighter jet of the Indian A.F. Click to enlarge! EP3A U.S. Reconnaissance plane. Click to enlarge! The Taipei Times, in an April 3rd 2001, column explains exactly why the super-secret EP-3E Aires II U.S. reconnaissance aircraft landed on the Chinese Communist Island of Hainan last Sunday. The article reports that two Chinese F-8 variants of the Russian Mig-21 jet fighter were attempting to roust the propeller driven four engine U.S. spy plane from the area where the latest and greatest Russian-made Chinese battleship was undergoing sea tests. It seems the duo of F-8 Korean War vintage jet aircraft were unable to slow to the majestic velocity of the EP-3E, which resulted in one of the pair brushing the U.S. spy plane and crashing into the ocean. The surviving Chinese fighter then fired a warning burst from its twin 23mm cannons convincing the heavily damaged U.S. aircraft to land on the Chinese island of Hainan. Mr. Wonderful also understands that two or more American fighting men remain aboard the grounded EP-3E destroying code books and top secret documents and are preparing to scuttle the captured aircraft. Meanwhile, ponder this readers. If an unarmed propeller driven U.S. aircraft downs 50% of the Chinese fighters sent to intercept it, how will these same fighters fare against our carrier based American F-18's?

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