關於魂游 who's wen yau? 

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I always have difficulty in introducing and defining myself. In terms of what I have been endeavouring to do, I would describe myself as a person in search of an appropriate way to express myself and my ineffable feelings in a kaleidoscopic world of simulacra. From novel to review writing, from theatre to digital media, my path is always led by unexpected and accidental events which have changed my life at different points. 'wen yau' (literally "wandering of spirit" in Chinese) was the title of one of my prose pieces a few years ago when I was enlightened by a state of meditation while writing. Sometimes I use the romanisation of the name 'wen yau' when I publish my writing, just because certain editors found the Chinese version to be too informal and inauthentic. I was dragged into the public eye as a so-called young, rising and feminist critic among the male-dominated circle of critics in Hong Kong when a theatre review of mine stirred up a major dispute between artists and critics, which became known as the 'wen yau event'. Later I again caused controversy in a funding body which I hoped would help me to publish my book; this contained a short story challenging the inequality of male and female sexual fantasies. This was criticized as 'unhealthy' and 'immoral', and it was only with great difficulty that I obtained the funding. Whatever fate throws at me, I just try to keep my own room and my own voice in the dominant currents -- to speak the unspeakable...

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　　夏天很熱。

　　獃在房子裡，汗流浹背，一種悶氣從胸口裡湧出來，只覺全身黏黏熱熱，懶洋洋，不想說話，不想睡覺，也不想思想，全身沒氣沒力，只想一下子伏下來不動。

　　風扇開動著，發出咯咯的聲響，突然覺得這些響音一點也不吵耳，反而是一種教人安靜的節奏，將陣陣悶氣也吹散了，不說話，不睡也不想，嘴角泛起一些笑意來。

　　眼睛兒往四處看，轉了轉又合上了眼，身子開始輕起來，再張開眼睛，見到書架上一橦一疊的書，一堆一堆的雜物，與他的一張合照，更是不想動。

　　感到涼風吹來，咯咯聲響，往轉動著的風扇一看，但覺天花亂墜，眼花暸亂。視線模糊之際，眼睛半合上，笑意在嘴角滲出來，深深吸呼一口氣，一切已不在乎。

04.05.95

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《魂游》是多年前我一篇約有所得的文章。
寫作，冥想，辯證。
編輯告訴我，這名字不像樣。那隨便作個繹名好了。
好一個「魂游事件」，從此成了後現代女性主義新進藝評人。
是嗎？
一篇〈×××……〉，差點因為「不健康」，險讓書本沒資助而難產。
我只願走自己的路，給我一點空間。
只是說，說不出，不能說，沒有說的話……