Broken Hearts

As I walked down the hallways, I could hear the machines humming. Nurses walking around checking things, expecting something to happen. It was like everyone was waiting as the minutes and hours passed until the inevitable. It made me sick. How could people live like that? Of course not everyone gets to see the next light of day.

All of us were at her bedside. Two were holding her hand and the rest filling in around.

‘ God.. it’s not fair… Why does it have to be this way? Why am I always the one to blame?’

I was so upset and mad at Nick for the awful things he said about me. I had to get out of there. My eyes were filled with tears. I just couldn't believe he said what he did.

‘How dare he! Why is he doing this, especially after all I did for him?’ I thought.

All these questions flooded my mind. Finally, I decided that I wanted out and to never talk to him again. I dried my tears and headed to the door.

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Nick ran to find me. He looked down every hall. Finally, he came to a hall with the exit door.

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As I was pushing on the door, a hand grabbed my wrist. I turned with my tear filled eyes and saw Nick standing there.

"Wait"

"Why? So you can blame me for something else? … Let go of me… “

" What? No, Just hear me out ok?", dropping my wrist.

“Why the hell should I? “

“Because, I have something to tell you”

“What, more hurtful words? Just leave me alone”

“Brie, listen. I’m sorry about what you heard earlier. I didn’t really mean it. I.. I’m just so angry and worried about Brian. I had to blow off some steam and I guess I wasn’t thinking straight. I had to blame someone for this shit. Kevin made me realize that I was blaming the wrong one”

"It hurt that you thought that this was all my fault, especially after all I did. If I didn’t do what I did, Brian might have been dead before now. And you stand there and blame me for this? That’s so unfair, not to mention, cruel. When something bad happens, you can't just go around and blame anyone or anything. You’re not the only one who’s hurting right now. People have feelings...I have feelings, damnit!”

“ I know. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I swear….”

“Am I supposed to believe that? I’ve been hurt enough in this life as it is… and I don’t need you adding to it. “

He was taken aback. That was a blow he wasn’t expecting. He ran a hand through his hair.

‘That hurt. As long as I’ve known her, is she trying to tell me something? Or was it just of out anger?’ he thought but now was not the time to ask

“Look, I’m sorry. I really am. …. Can you ever forgive me?"

It was a few minutes before I said anything. I sighed.

“ I suppose. I..I guess we can all get a little irrational sometimes when these things happen. But… don’t do it again…..Let’s get back to the guys. I am sure that they need our prayers and support”

"Ok" and we walked back together.

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Later on that night, Nick wanted to talk to me and could not find me. He thought maybe that I had left, since I was still a little mad at him. He asked the others if they had seen me. They all started to look for me. They looked in the most obvious places for me but didn't find me. Then Nick entered the second little waiting room nearby and found me lying asleep on the couch. He walked over and covered me with a blanket he found and told me goodnight. While he was putting a blanket over me, the rest of the guys arrived and were looking in. Nick saw them when he turned to leave and put a finger to his lips, telling them to be quiet.

When they got out of there, Nick looked back at me.

‘She looks so damn beautiful when she's sleeping.’

"So I guess that's where she's been hiding for a while."

" Well, since she's been up since we started filming early yesterday morning til tonight, I'd say she needs it." Kevin chimed in a sarcastic/irritated voice. "Besides, she has put up with a lot since Brian's accident." They all agreed.