chapter 4
Jeff walked up the stairs; he could hear Leah’s crying and followed the sound to her room. He watched her from the doorway. She sat on the inflatable chair that sat in the corner. Her body rocking back and forth as she sobbed. His heart felt as if someone had stabbed him. He moved to her, but as he did she got to her feet and stood face to face with him.
“I said leave Jeff!!”
“Leah…”
“NO!! All we are going to do is argue!”
“Not if you listen to reason. Please…”
“I think I have been more than reasonable! You wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me all this stuff and you expect me just to forget all that I have been through and throw myself back in your arms. Back into a world I hated! It isn’t that easy Jeff!”
“You hated?”
“Yes, I loved you but I hated you travelling, the phone calls only making me miss you more. I cried myself to sleep every night, every night I would stare at the pillow next to me, wishing you were there. Wishing you could be here and hold me, telling me that everything would be ok.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you’re living your dream, how could I? I couldn’t.”
“But I may be living my dream, but you were living a nightmare, you should have told me Lee.”
“I couldn’t!!! Can’t you see that?!”
“You told Shannon!”
“He’s my best friend Jeff.”
“And I was your boyfriend!! How do you think I felt when I found out how you felt from Shannon? Huh?! I felt like shit!!”
“I could tell him, you were never around to tell…” Leah said walking past him and she stood over by the window, she pulled the curtains back and watched the trees move in the night breeze. The garden lit by the moonlight, leaving only under the trees in darkness.
“How the hell do I know if you aren’t fucking Shannon? How do I know that when I was on the road that you and him weren’t fucking?”
“HOW DARE YOU!!!” Leah shouted going over to him and striking him hard over his left cheek with her right hand. His face whipped to the side as her hand connecting with his face. “Shannon is my friend! He has only ever been and will only ever be!!” Jeff turned his head back to Leah. He raised his hands to his cheek, rubbing it. Leah couldn’t figure out what emotion Jeff was feeling. His eyes were filled with tears. Slowly one left his eye and made a trail down his face. Leah didn’t know what to do. In all the time she and Jeff had argued, she had never hit him and he had never her. Leah dropped her head. Going back to the window she just stared down at the pool. “How can you say that? He is not only my best friend but yours too? How can you say we would cheat on you? I love…loved you too much to do that.” Jeff didn’t speak. He just continued rubbing his cheek. “When we were together you were all I needed, all I wanted. I never looked at another guy like that. You made me so happy, but at the same time so sad. I had thought about ending us…to try and get over you…but I couldn’t…I guess when Trish said those things it gave me away to get out.” Leah said as she turned back to where Jeff stood. His eyes met hers.
“This is the first place where I told you I love you. You were so scared or nervous when we came up here. I had been over earlier and placed three-dozen red roses around the room and scented candles, Champaign in a cooler by the bed. I had put red silk sheets on the bed and covered it with rose petals. I brought you up here and I played our song and we danced to it before I lay you back on the bed. We kissed for half an hour. I remember never wanting to the feelings that were flowing through me to stop. For the next two hours we made love. It was perfect. Never once did we let go of each other, we held onto each other as if without each other we would die. I held you in my arms and I told you I loved you. All I could see in your eyes was happiness. When you told me you loved me too, I was the happiest man on the planet. I held you tight as were drifted to sleep.” Jeff let himself smile at the thought of all their memories. “Do you remember that night?”
Leah wiped her eyes. “Of course I do Jeff. You were my first. You were so gentle with me. Every touch showed me how much you loved me. I thought the first time was supposed to hurt like hell, but you took everything so slow. You asked me if I was ok. You kissed me when I felt pain. And you kept asking me if I wanted you to stop. How could I forget.”
Before Jeff realised it, more tears slipped down his cheeks. Leah watched him and she let her tears wet her face. “What happened to us? Why did everything go so wrong?”
“Lies Jeff. Lies.” Leah said softly as she watched Jeff wipe his eyes and walk from the room. Leah looked out the window for a minute before she looked to her alarm clock. 4:01.
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