chapter 5

Jeff opened the door to the room next to Leah’s bedroom. He didn’t turn the light on as the curtains where open and the moonlight filled the room. He looked to the cot that sat in the middle of the room. The mobile still hung over it, the light reflecting on the little mirrors. He walked over to it and ran his hand along the side of the cot. More tears slid down his cheeks as he remembered what he and Leah had lost. He looked into the cot and saw the teddy he had as a baby. He slowly picked it up and looked at it before holding it close to his chest. He held it as he looked around the rest of the room, the baby blue he and Leah had painted on the wall. The border that went around that he and Leah had chosen. The teddy bear print light shade Leah had wanted for the room. A little bookcase sat by the wall, half filled with little story books, some new that he and Leah had chosen and Gil and Leah’s parents had given some to them.

A little chest of draws sat next to it that contained all the baby clothes in it. They knew it was a boy and they had bought so many clothes as they waited the arrival of the baby. Over on the other side of the room sat the buggy and stroller they had bought, a car seat and other various items they thought they might need.

Jeff felt his heart rip as he looked around and thought what could have been.

“I haven’t been in here ever since they day we broke up.” Leah said as she walked into the dim room. She walked over to where Jeff stood. “I’m sorry Jeff.”

“Why?” He said turning to her.

“Because I killed our baby.”

“No! You didn’t. Please don’t say that.”

“It’s true Jeff. I did. I’m sorry.”

“No baby. You didn’t do it. It was an accident. You couldn’t stop that car hitting you.”

“You told me not to drive and I did.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t blame yourself. I should have been here with you.”

“You were working.”

“But you were having my baby. I should have been here looking after you. I’m sorry.”

“Jeff, this is my fault, it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t of driven the car, if I hadn’t of listened to Trish then none of this would be like this and we wouldn’t be apart. I’m sorry.” Leah said bowing her head. Jeff placed the teddy back in the cot. He walked over to Leah so he stood close to Leah.

Being in their baby’s room seemed to calm them both. Neither wanted to fight or argue. Both just felt the sadness they had held up for the past nine months since they lost the baby let out.  Leah knew she didn’t want to be in the room but some how being there made her see the side of Jeff she loved. Nobody except the people close to him got to see it. Leah knew him to well and she knew what he was thinking.

“You want me to answer your question?” She said looking into his eyes.

“Yes.”

Leah paused. “Yes, I do still love you. How could I ever stop? I was angry and hurt and selfish but I never stopped loving you. I was blinded by lies. But now...it all seems clear. I just need to know something…”

“Anything.”

“Can you forgive me?”

“Yes baby. I can. As long as you forgive me.”

“You did nothing wrong Jeff.”

“I accused you and Shannon.”

“Yeh well…your forgiven.” Leah said as she pressed her body up against Jeff’s. His hands moved around her waist and he pulled her body tight against him. Leah wrapped her arms around the back of Jeff’s neck. Leah looked up and she could see the love shining in Jeff’s eyes. She knew it was reflected in her eyes.

Slowly Jeff ran his hands up her sides and cupped her face in his hands. He held her face lightly as he lowered his head to her level. Lightly he brushed his lips over hers. Leah felt her legs turn to jelly at the slightest touch. Jeff replaced his lips lightly over hers. Leah kissed Jeff back and used her hands on the back of his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss. Jeff’s hands moved from Leah’s face to in her hair. He traced Leah’s lips with his tongue and she gladly gave him entrance to her mouth.

After six months of being apart Leah and Jeff felt a passion so strong it was overwhelming. Leah slowly began to suck on Jeff’s tongue. Making him moan into her mouth.

After a few minutes the couple pulled apart. Leah dropped her head onto Jeff’s chest. She was out of breath and she felt like she was going to faint. Jeff held her tightly before picking her up and carrying her from the room. He took her back into Leah’s bedroom and placed her on the bed. Leah was wearing jeans and a baby t-shirt as she hadn’t undressed before going to bed. So, she took her jeans of and slid under the covers whilst Jeff stripped down to his boxers and got into the bed beside her. He moved close to her and she lay half on him half of him as he held her tightly. Leah placed one arm behind Jeff’s neck and the other rested on his chest.

“I love you Leah.”

“I love you too.” Leah said snuggling closer to Jeff.

“One day we will have a baby. And this time, I promise you I will be by your side. I’m never going to lose you again Leah. Never.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Leah said placing a kiss on Jeff’s chest.

Leah closed her eyes and she listened to Jeff breath, the steady rhythm sending her to sleep.

Jeff could only smile. He had the woman he wanted back in his arms. He rolled his head over to one side on the pillow and looked at the alarm clock. 4:59.

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