..blurred..
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: WOW-Christian WOW worship.Open The Eyes Of My Heart
i still rmb vividly of the sermon i heard over the radio abt joseph n his brothers.very touching.n cld hear god speaking to me thru this story.tt god for it.

today's econs test was sucky.i really hate myself for changing answers,not trusting myself on MCQ ans and listening to brandon's answer.arghs...until li shan n i got the wrg answers cos we COPIED amongst ourselves..while marrilyn n christine copy the other side.lols..felt damn bad.arghs!!!gna kill bradon on monday!hahahahs.he's nice larhs let us copy.lols.hahahas.oh well jus hope i pass this test cos its damn tricky and etc.argghs..muz mug harder for the exam..cos i wont know my marks cos i"ll be back in HK when the scripts are released.!arhgs...
GOD BLESS ME!!!!!!

looked thru her past blogs and her frensters.can see they are doing well.happy for them.though we arent frens or wadever anymore.do feel happy for them.as long as no trouble comes knocking to my doors i'm more than happy.actually wad happened?i cant rmb..n wont want to rmb.happy wid my life now.
i've everything i want and need.i wont be greedy to ask for more..

been really upset for days,weeks,etc.haven gotten over him.really i wished i was granted another chance.really wished i cld have done things better n etc.but i guess its jus all too late.
i wont blame god or anyone for this miserable state i'm in.i've only myself to blame.i dont know why is is so stubborn n hard on me.i really dont know..am i really tt bad not to consider another chance?
i do understand he needs time off to study n etc..
i guess i've been really selfish all these time while n not sparing a tot for him.i really wish i can make things up for him.maybe when he's back.

though i knew him a really short period time.i really felt loved,cared,etc.god,u know how i felt through out the whole time.really n u knew i dint mean it..sighs.
he tried his best to give in to mi even when he knows i'm in the wrg n i wanna win..i guess this kinda mind set n attitude has to go diana..i some how feel tt i havent spent enough time with him to know him better..cos i was busy working..all i tot was working n working..cos i had a promise to myself is tt i have to work hard to go back to use my pay to buy uncle stephen dinner after working for so long!owe him too much.n a good dinner for my mom's bday on the 24th.n i needed to save all cash for the upcoming hk trip cos this trip is entirely on my own.spent like 1700++on driving..sighs! i mean if i were to tell him due to this,i mite be afraid of him thinking funny tot,maybe say its not his business etc.maybe he wld,maybe i wont.i duuno..tts why i kept everything to myself. n continued to work..

all the time i was with him..i really felt blessed.cos i knew god gave mi sumone tt i really wanted n searching for all these 4 yrs.it sounds dumb to say 4 yrs.i've been really searching hard for someone for the past 4 yrs..though there was michael etc..n not forgetting ying.been thru alot n etc.i duuno.though those i really figured wad i wanted n wad i needed.its jus the attitude mus go..
cos if not i wont have any good days or etc..coming to me anymore..n killing ,affecting those ple ard mi.i really dont know..

if i was given a 2nd chance,i wld make things even better than b4..cos this time im not on my own,god is wid me...really..sighs.god im really hoping that everything would be fine..cos i really dont want to lose a guy like him...really..sighs..

i dont know wat to say....or am i toking rubbish?...i'm really lost without him....

Another Day........
Now Playing: lene marlin "another day"
Lie to me, say that you need me
That's what I wanna hear
That is what, what makes me happy
Hoping you'll be near
All this time, how could I know
Within these walls, I can feel you

Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love

You must think, how can this be
You don't really know me
I can't tell, this ain't the time
You'll never be mine
What can I say, something 'bout my life
I just lost again

Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love

Always have to move on,
To leave it all behind
Go along with time

Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love

1st day of Sept
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: korean drama -beautiful days - ya sok-
1st day of another mth.
so much to say.so much to think.
sighs.

met up wif ksheng today.he's still as tall as ever.
n i'm like a dwarf beside him.arghs.this is bad bad!
hahas.pls shrink?lols.
he's still so bubbly!hehehs..like the way he is..hahas he n michael sumhow really tok the same!duuno y oso...

saw so many ple at the comp fair.alvin still selling his cameras.i guess he've been doing tt for yrs..hahahas..lols* saw adeline selling computer.hahahas..damn funny..

saw my god brother..after so long!damn..dint see his brother.*my elder god brother* dint see him for a LONG time arghss!!!missed him..all the late nite mahjong days..taking my dad's fav car for a spin ..
those were the days..now he's married.to be a faithful husband.really wonder how he manage to settle down..reallY!typical play boy.making his mom all worried abt his life..etc..well now he's got brenda my god sister in law?is tt wad u call tt?lols.sigh gee.time flies!!!
28th sept my godbrother-kaiting will be off to cambridge to study.wish him all the best!


tmr's econs test..dint really touch..hahahas.i'm super dead!lols.hahahas..oh well..toking to darryl now..he's hella craze over auzzie brands..from industries to tsubi to wadever!!darryl stop!hahahas ure tempting me..to shop.arghs..not fair,not fair.best thing he has the gucci dog-tag tt i always wanted...stupid..!!!!
really counting down to HK....2 and 1/2 wks..

hope my daddy's fine.=)

stresss
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: another song from STAIRWAYS TO HEAVEN OST
really loVEd the SBS Korean Drama Stairways to HEaven!the story line again i muz stress..iTS GOOD
cos u have alot of mix emotions watching tt..hehes..
n choi ji won is damn hOT!hahahas she's pretty!!hehes.

jus had a econs revision mcq..my goodness.i realised i dint study the rest.cos i jus focused on the long question...arhgs..DIANA!!!!wadd are u doing..hahahs...oh well.jus studied a little n my dear fren tan kwangsheng called.!hahahas.

gee toking abt ksheng,its been hella long since i last spoke to him,caught up wid him.everyones busy i guess..it was really nice toking to him again!
the army etc..made him his life more busy,more kanchong more etc..glad to hear tt he's preparing for his upcoming army race.god bless him!hahahas...
i think i muz becum less naggy if not i"ll end up like him n michael...lols..hahahas..
oh well.really hope to see him soon!!

sighs.alot happened these 2 days.dont wanna mention it.all i can say in wadever times mus thx god,mus pray!n i'm going hang on tight with god.cos i'm gg to kp my faith STRONG.i wont let him go.cos i really need him to teach,guide me in life n i know he will create miracles!n continue to bless me!hehes=)

exercise?
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Ave Maira(Rebecca Luker) -Stairways To Heaven OST
finally i put on my track shoes and run...n etc..hahahas..gEE!hahahas its been 2 yrs since i last ran...
3yrs since i last ran for comp etc..
gee..time flies!!!!!!!!

missed those days running to the physio...getting treated with different doc..n having big problems wid mr leslie over the claims etc..haahas.*stupid*
the days where we cheered from the josephians all the way to the victorians..hahahas..(cos most of them ended up in vjc lols*) seeing them cry and feeling happy for them..seeing how their team unite as one..WAY TO GO!!!!!
those training days @ NIE when i did my first 3ple jump n long jump,hitting the first qualifying mark during training....those were really those days..
really wished can exprience it once more..sighs..
TURN BACK TIME!!!arhgs...
looking back at all these ..are jus memories..memories ..memories..tt i wld jus sit back and have a gd laugh at it...hehes..=)

this is the start of the week..a long long wk ahead.Friday's the econs test.sighs.SO MUCH to study arghs!!!n muz complete Operation Management's assignment.sighs!!!
plus gotta work.really looking forward for my next driving lesson!!cos its AUTO CAR>.whahahahas=Ppx

god pls watch over me during the wk .

sch's starteddddd
Mood:  energetic
heehhs sch's started...
all the stress..all the assignments are BACK!
arghs!!!!!god help me!!!see me through..

next fri econs test.4 solid chapters.
managed to study the essay qnts only...the MCQ are
still hanging there..hahahas~...
i think ill continue tmr...

n yesh! i missed e SBS drama..stairway to heaven.my all time favourite!!!!!!!!!!the story line is gd...
the venue of the plc where is screened..LOTTE WORLD>.gosh!!!!my favourite....!!dying to go there...all the rides..the ice skating...roller coaster....horse rides...aww****..better stop..before i"ll start sulking why im still stuck in the poor singapore..hehehes...

but nvm!gg hk disneyland next mth!muahahahahahah~

its been a week....
Mood:  blue
its been a week.....since the squabbles..the shoutings..the everything...sighs..
and nth seems to be happening...
nvm..i"ll continue to pray and hope for a mircale to happen.....n kp tt faith in god going...
cant doubt god's faith...

had dinner with aunt sophia n mummie today...it was gr8..hahah we sat @ the hK care @ upper east coast road for 5hrs!!8.25 -1230am oDdImagine tt.gee,the adults can tok ALOT...had lots of sharing..n prayer..thank god for the time of sharing..
listened alot..and learnt alot...
best thing..aunt sophia taught me a declaration prayer!hahahahhas~yeahs..so funnn!!hehehes.

gee...the past wk..rushing n rushing of HR assignment..gna break down..~next wk is rushing n rushing or OM>..which i know nuts abt..god save me..

through out the wk,i saw god's grace,god's works..in my life..n i thank god for tt..
n i drew closer back to the lord..thanks to all tt happen n my favourite books,daily pslams and the purpose driven life...i"ll nv forget those books...


yawn**

sighs..sighs..sighs..
Mood:  sad
sighs.its been the 4th day in the row tt we've been screaming and quarrel..sighs.i duno when is this every gg to end.....

sumtimes i wished thing dint happend tt way..i dint do alot of things.sighs.but i know they are all too late..he totally hates me to the core..the words i dun like u anymore..i dun have feelings for u anymore...i dun wanna tok to u anymore..it really did hurt me alot.sighs...i duno..i made a fool of myself infront of him by crying ...n crying...like a cry baby..sighs..duuno....the words he said were very hurting.n all..duuno..sighs.god...help me...
i really dont want this to end with him....really..cos he's really a special guy...to me..

i tried to say i'm sry.it looks like its not working.i dunno...god..hELP me...i duuno wadd else can i say..i cant slp for nites.......i duuno...he wnt back on his word...sighs.i really dunoo..god,can u pls enlighten me??cos i really dont wanna lose a guy like him..........sumone hus hard to replace....

im hoping n praying for a miracle to happen....
i think i better slp............

my b'day !~
Mood:  bright
happy bday to myself ..happy bday to myself..
yawns* having 2 sessions of driving..really regret booking so many sessions..hahahas..cos this yr i'm having bday with my darling!hehes.wonder wadd 's his plans..

had keith to buy me stupid wan tan mee n many other junk food.i was damn full n slpy when it came to my 2nd session of driving..hahahas...the teacher gave me extra stamp for my test routes..hahahs..for bday..n let mi off early cos i told him i had a impt aptmt!hahahas...thank you sir!hehes..

darling wanted to go sentosa to tann..etc..but i dint want to..cos its like so hot!!!!!!n i'm trying to avoid the sun to get fairer..lols..n i'm not a beach person..cos jus dont like it..duuno why..hehes.mad bah...since he cant decide where to go n getting all stressed up plus frustrated on where to go..i decided to stick on his plan..since he wanted to go..n i dont want to see him unhappy..cos i will be unhappy!i"ll do wadever to make him happy cos i really want him to be happy!!!hehes so i"ll be off to sentosa ltr..hahaha

really wonder wadds he present for me..muahahahas.

gee i really love him to the MAX!!!!!

finally found!
Mood:  happy
i'm so happy!i've found the love of my life!he's name is jireh!hahahas..damn happy!!gg bonkers..lols

finally!after searching high n low for the past for 4yrs!yes!god thank you!!im really happy.

gee i cant slp..tts why i'm writing this blog though im really dead tired...hehes
but its worth!eheshs.cant wait to see him tmr...n i would nv want to say goodbye to him cos i dont want to lose him..not even on the fone will i ever wanna say goodbye..ehehs..*so bad rite?*