Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've ready a mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin,
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in the flap!
You're safe in Hands (though I have none!)
For I am the Hogwarts sorting Hat!

"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts
Teach us something please,
Wheather we be old and bald
Or young with scabby knees,
Our heads could do with filling
With some interesting stuff,
For now they're bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,
So teach us things worth knowing,
Bring back what we've forgot,
Just do your best, we'll do the rest,
And learn until out brains all rot.

"His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad
his hair as black as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine he's really divine,
the boy who conquered the dark lord."