Quiet Heart
Part Two
Author: Kinkyhobbit
Pairing: EW/DM
Genre: RPS
Rating: R
Warnings: References to nasty sex. Bit of swearing,
nothing to write home about.
Disclaimer: I’m not responsible for these people, which is
probably good considering what I keep putting them through. Luckily for them, I
made it all up.
Summary: Elijah decides he needs to get away and see
someone he can talk to.
We can't go on tearing each other apart
And if we
did, would we still go on?
The Hummingbirds
Viggo was flying home
to
It wasn’t even ten in
the morning. When things were better, he’d have stayed in bed, they both would
have. Stayed in and cuddled until mid-afternoon. Now they were both up, trying
to avoid each other. Dom was already in the shower.
He decided to call
Viggo.
“About what you said
last night…I’d really like to talk to you.”
“Sure, Lij.”
Elijah swallowed and
his fingers shifted nervously on the receiver.
“Are you okay? Have
you two had a fight?”
“No, no, just…I need
to talk to you.”
“Did you want to talk
now?” Viggo asked.
“No,” he sighed.
“Viggo…can I come and see you?”
“Well, I’m going back
to
“I know, I mean…can I
come and stay with you? In
He heard Viggo’s soft
laugh. “Well what good will that be? How can you talk to me then?”
“I mean, I just need
somewhere to get away. I won’t be in your face all the time.”
Viggo paused. “Is Dom
okay?”
“He’ll be okay.”
“Put him on.”
“I can’t, he’s in the
shower.”
“Does he know you want
to go away?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t want to get
the blame if you two don’t sort things out.”
“It's too far gone to
be anyone else's fault but mine, Viggo.”
“Elijah, I'm not going
to tell you what to do. If you really need to get out of the house, fine. But
as long as you know what you're doing.”
“Viggo, I really,
really need to…to…I gotta talk to someone about all this,” his voice wavered
and he swallowed hard. “I can talk to you. Everyone else…everyone’s judging me,
I know it. You don’t.”
There was an awkward
but thankfully short silence.
Viggo sighed. “It’s
okay, come whenever you want to. Come today. I don’t know if you’ll get a seat
on my flight, but give it a try. Otherwise get whatever you can and come
whenever you want. Henry is away until next week, so it will be just the two of
us. Stay a few days, we’ll relax and talk, it will be good for you.”
“Yeah?” Elijah bit his
lip, hopeful.
“Yes. I mean it. Come
today.”
“Thanks Viggo,” he
said softly.
He hung up and then
rang to book a ticket. Any airline, some time today. Lucky for him
He headed to the
bedroom, dragging out a bag to throw some clothes in, just enough for a few
days. He was packing when Dom came out of the bathroom. Dom stood in the
doorway, silent and staring, then sat on the bed and simply watched.
“Where are you going?”
he asked eventually.
“Just…away for a few
days. I’ll call you.”
“You’re going to
Viggo’s.”
Elijah’s hands paused
just above his bag, holding a shirt, before placing it inside. “Yeah.”
“You weren’t going to
tell me.”
“Does it matter where
I’m going?”
Dom shook his head in disbelief.
“Yes it fucking does, actually.”
Dom watched him in silence for a few minutes.
“So…when did I become
one of them?”
“Who?”
“Just another person
you fuck because they’re there.”
Elijah just stood
there, fingers moving awkwardly on the socks he was holding. He closed his
eyes. “It’s not like that.”
“You think?”
“Sblomie-”
“We only ever do it when we’re angry. It’s never about love anymore.”
Elijah slowly put the
socks down and stepped towards him, reaching out to stroke his cheek. He bent down
and pressed his trembling lips to Dom’s, not moving, just holding them together
for the longest moment.
When they finally
separated Dom looked away. Elijah took his face in his hands and went to kiss
him again, but Dom pushed him away and stood up, leaving the room without
looking back.
Elijah continued
packing, throwing things into the bag as hard as he could, packing his
bitterness with his clothes.
They didn’t speak for
the rest of the morning, until Elijah went to leave. He was just about to open
the front door when Dom’s voice stopped him.
“If you leave now, I
won’t be here when you come back.”
His fingers were just
touching the doorknob. His hand was trembling, and he grasped the knob to stop
it.
“I mean it, Liji. Not
this time. Not any more.”
“Sblomie, we need a
break.”
“This isn’t a break.
You go over there and you’ll fucking end up sleeping with him. He wants you,
Lij, and you fucking know it.”
“It’s not like that,”
Elijah whispered.
“Who are you trying to
convince?”
Elijah opened the
door.
“I know you'll sleep
with him.”
Elijah stopped,
turning to stare at him. “How can you say that?”
“Because he wants
you.” Dom smiled a sad, resigned smile. “He wants you, and you can't say no.”
Dom didn’t go out
after Elijah left. He loitered about the house, making a pathetic attempt at
tidying which involved picking things up and carrying them around aimlessly
until he forgot why he had them, and then putting them down somewhere else. He
annoyed Deborah a little, just following her around her house while she did
things, talking at her about nothing in particular. Elijah had fed her some
story about going to Viggo’s to be part of some photographic project he was
working on. She’d eventually just looked at him and asked him what was wrong,
and all he’d said was “I’m having a really crap day”. If only.
He’d tried to phone
Billy, but he was out. Dom tried not to sound like a dumped boyfriend when he
left a message, and was certain he failed miserably. Now he’d given up and was
sitting on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table, sipping a beer at six in
the evening and watching the dust dance in the last of the sunlight.
Dom tried to think of
a million reasons not to call Viggo. What would he say? Are you fucking him? Will
you? Do you love him? Can you possibly love him as much as I do?
He knew Viggo liked
Elijah, a lot. He knew if Viggo got the slightest idea they were breaking up,
then something would probably happen.
He stopped at that
thought, his breath catching in his throat. If Viggo got that idea, it would be
his own fault. He was the one who said he wouldn't be here when Elijah got
back. He closed his eyes, trying to push the thought away. Fuck, I've basically
told him it's over.
“Fuck!” he said out
loud, then shook his head and sniffed miserably. “Fucking cunt,” he muttered.
He swigged his beer
and tried to think of what to do next.
The first time Elijah
had slept with someone else, he'd felt betrayed. Angry and upset, too. Same
again the next time. The time after that was different. He heard the latest
rumour and went out to a club, full of anger. He picked up the first cute guy
who blinked twice at him and fucked his brains out. Then he spent the next day
crying and feeling angry at both himself and Elijah. The time in between
storming around the house glaring at the furniture was spent hugging himself on
the sofa or the bed, listening for the key in the door.
And it had only been a
fucking rumour. A rumour! At least, that's what Elijah said. Dom believed him
at the time, but now…he wondered, though after slipping himself he understood
why Elijah would come home guilty and ashamed, unable to speak, just wanting to
hold and kiss him instead. He knew, because he felt the same. He hadn’t thought
that fucking somebody else would make them miss each other more, but that’s how
it worked, at first.
Gradually that
changed. The rumours divided them more and more, whether they were true or not.
He loved Elijah, but it was getting harder and harder to forgive him each time.
He never knew, ever, exactly what was going on until Elijah got home. Until he
could see his face and look into his eyes. Until that point, he could never be
sure if Elijah was keeping anything from him. Now he didn't know what to
believe, he only knew their relationship was possibly as fucked as it could
get. It certainly wasn’t the kind of loving relationship they used to have.
The last time they had
sex was four days ago. They’d been fighting in the car on the way home over
something so trivial and stupid he couldn’t even remember what it was. They got
in the house and no sooner had he closed the door than Elijah had him shoved
against it, grinding against him hard, pulling angrily at his clothes. He’d
resisted but not much, only enough to make Elijah work for it. He’d gritted his
teeth and welcomed the hard, painful thrusts inside him as his fingers dug into
the wood of the door and his knuckles went white. Welcomed it, because he knew
it was all he was going to get and it was better than nothing.
And now it looked like
it might be over, because he’d finally opened his big mouth and said something
he’d wanted to say many times before. He’d wanted to, so why did he feel so
shitty about having finally said it?
Because, he
though to himself, I still love him.
That made everything
hurt a hundred times more.
He swallowed and
forced down the panic and nausea inside him. Viggo was a friend they both
loved. A bloody friend. Surely…he didn’t want to think about it.
But he'd said it. He said
he wouldn't be here. If Elijah fucked Viggo, it wasn't necessarily Elijah's
fault. Not this time, not if he thought it was over.
“We’re in a mess,” he
said softly, closing his eyes and lying back on the sofa. The state he was in,
he'd simply be relieved if Elijah came home at all.
Elijah hadn’t called.
There was no message on the answering machine. Dom resisted the urge to phone
him. He grabbed another beer from the fridge. The sun went down and he didn’t
care. He kept drinking until he couldn’t even think anymore, and passed out on
the sofa.
Kinkyhobbit 2002
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