Consequences
Part One
Author: Kinkyhobbit
Pairing: References to EW/DM
Genre: RPS
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none.
Disclaimer: I made it all up. As far as I know, this never
ever happened.
Summary: Elijah finds himself seated next to a priest on
a flight back to LA after finishing filming Try
Seventeen.
Elijah had settled in with
his Discman on, even though other passengers were still boarding. The seat next
to him was empty and he kind of hoped it stayed that way. Sometimes it was nice
not to have to talk to anybody.
He caught a movement
out of the corner of his eye and glanced up to see a small man in a dark suit
talking to the stewardess. The man finished speaking and turned, and Elijah
felt his heart skip when he saw the white collar.
He’d never quite
understood why priests made him nervous. Maybe it was because you never really
saw that many of them around. Even
growing up, priests were intrinsically linked to churches, places which he
found a bit frightening. It had been
years now since he’d been inside a church.
He just didn’t feel he needed to go anymore. Now he’d probably only see priests for
weddings and funerals.
He glanced up again as
the priest sat down beside him. Their eyes met and they both smiled at each
other. Elijah noted how young the man
looked, probably early thirties at most.
He wondered what made people choose to become priests. He’d never felt strong enough in his own
faith to make such a commitment and it involved giving up so much, at least as
far as the Catholic priesthood was concerned.
He had a fleeting image of Billy in a frock and smiled to himself.
He looked back out the
window, enjoying his music. He knew the
drill, so he already had his seatbelt on and didn’t pay much attention to the
stewardess doing her safety demonstration.
Refreshments were
brought around not long after takeoff.
He took a coffee, smiling when the stewardess called him Mr Wood. He almost caught the priest’s eye again but
quickly looked out the window. He was
not in the mood to be sociable today, there was too much to think about. In fact, just the thought of having too much
to think about made him feel sick.
Franka. She was a very strong, determined person.
Frighteningly so. The sort of person who
saw something she wanted and just took it, regardless of the consequences. Sometimes he wished he was like that, but not
when it came to people. He usually found
himself worrying about others’ feelings.
Usually.
Well I fucked up this time, he thought to himself.
He tried to remember everything that had happened, how he’d gotten in so
deep so fast. He was used to flirting
without strings. He was used to physical
affection. He knew where the line was
usually drawn, and his friends did too.
He realised too late that she didn’t.
How could he expect her to? So
one minute they’re getting along like great mates, the next she’s kissing him
in the back of the taxi and feeling him up.
It was so unexpected
that he just didn’t know how to react, and ended up letting his guard down
without knowing it. Then he was back in
familiar territory, the female co-star who was more than that in real
life. It was a buzz, it was exciting,
and he’d needed the familiarity. Making
anything other than Lord of the Rings was still kind of strange. Familiarity was good, and then she was
practically on top of him and they were still in the taxi, and he stopped
thinking entirely.
That was the problem,
really. He hadn’t started thinking again
until they were nearly finished filming.
There had been moments when his mind had put its hand up, but he knew the
question it was going to ask and ignored it every time. He swallowed, forcing
himself to face the truth: he’d deliberately stopped himself from thinking
about it because even though he was enjoying it, he knew it was wrong. He’d
figured if he could avoid acknowledging that, he could avoid dealing with the
consequences.
The consequences were
waiting for him back in LA.
He finished his cold
coffee. The CD had finished and he
thought about getting another one out, but it didn’t really matter. He wasn’t really listening. He pushed play again and thought briefly of
having a nap. He was tired despite the
coffee. He lay back and closed his eyes.
All he could see was
Franka and Dom.
He sighed again. It was no use. He just still really didn’t want to think
about it. About Dom. He remembered the phone conversations they’d
had, usually two or three times a week because that was all he could
manage. At first they were long
conversations, the sort where he’d be listening and suddenly feel there was
nothing else in the universe except Dom’s disembodied voice. Then he had a real sense of the fragile
nature of the connection and the distance that separated them. He cried often after hanging up.
Then Franka happened,
and after that the phone calls felt strange.
He found himself wanting to hang up sooner, because talking to Dom made
his mind put up its hand again. He’d
started choking up every time he said “I love you”, and Dom being such a
sweetheart thought it was because he missed him. Dom was so trusting. He cried after hanging up then, too.
He wanted to cry now,
and bit his lip and swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making him
wince.
The crew were bringing
around food. Usually food was his friend
but not today. He felt sick and didn’t
want to eat, so he smiled and shook his head, and resumed looking out the
window.
Franka was very…well,
she didn’t take no for an answer. He
hadn’t spoken to Mandy much outside filming, but he had overheard her at the
wrap party joking about him being under Franka’s thumb already. Even Mandy had noticed how much control
Franka had. That made him uncomfortable.
And of course, with
filming finished, the usual questions has arisen and his mind had been
determined to make him think about them.
What happens next, will we stay in touch, will we see each other again
and when. In short, is this a
relationship, or is it just a bit of fun.
Having that hanging over their heads had made for an odd last few days.
He knew it would make
no difference to Dom. It was already too
late. Dom had asked him more than once
who he hung out with after filming.
Stupidly, he’d said “a few people” and no names. Changed the subject. He felt like he was lying already. Whether it was a fling or something more,
he’d felt it significant enough to lie about.
That fact would not be lost on Dom.
His Discman suddenly
cut out. He frowned and pushed the play button. It whirred and cut out again.
He sighed. Flat batteries…damn. And of course he didn’t have any fresh
ones. He almost took out the earphones
but then stopped himself. Having them in
was a great way to avoid conversation.
He sat with the silent Discman in his lap, looking out the window and
scowling at the clouds.
He looked at his
watch, noting grimly he was halfway home. He was biting his lip as he looked at
the clouds – big fluffy white cheerful clouds, damn them – when he felt a light
touch on his arm.
“Excuse me,” said a
friendly voice.
He turned and the
priest smiled at him. He realised he
still had the earphones in and removed them.
“Aren’t you Elijah
Wood? You were Frodo in Lord of the
Rings?”
He smiled and tried
not to think of the dozens of times he’d had this conversation. He wasn’t
really in the mood, but on the positive side it was nice to avoid thinking
unpleasant thoughts.
“Yes, I was.”
“I grew up with those
books. You were perfect.”
He smiled. “Thank
you.”
There was an awkward
moment, and then the priest said softly, “Are you allright?”
He almost lied. He opened his mouth and almost said “yes, I’m
fine”. But his eyes found that collar
again and he remembered something else about priests: it’s their job to
listen.
He hadn’t talked to a
priest for years, he hadn’t been to church for ages. He didn’t agree with what the Church said on
a lot of important things. He knew what
that priest would say about his relationship with Dom. He knew all these things, but realised only
after the priest’s expression changed that he was already shaking his
head. He heard himself say “no, I’m
not”.
The priest shifted in
his seat, leaning against it so they were facing each other.
“You always seem such
a happy person. I’ve never seen a
picture of you where there hasn’t been at least a hint of a smile on your
face.”
“Well, I am usually,
but…I’ve just finished filming a new movie and things happened which probably
shouldn’t have, and I don’t know what to do.”
Christ, he realised. I’m going to tell him everything.
“What sort of things?”
“A girl.”
The priest
smiled. “Another actor?”
“Yes.”
“So why is it a bad
thing?”
Elijah took a deep
breath. “Because, Father…there was
already someone else.”
“Oh, I see.”
Elijah swallowed,
biting his lip again.
“For a moment I
thought you were going to hit me with something new. I’m almost disappointed,” said
the priest, smiling. He winked in response to Elijah’s look, and became
serious. “So is this a new relationship,
or was it just a casual fling?”
Elijah suddenly felt
very awkward, and wondered if it had been a bad idea to start this
conversation. “Does that make a
difference?”
“Yes and no. It’s still wrong, from my point of view, but
it makes a difference with regard to what your next step will be.”
“That’s what I’m
thinking about.”
“So is it?”
Elijah sighed. “I don’t know.”
“How significant is
this existing relationship?”
“Significant.”
“Does this other
person know?”
Elijah shook his
head.
“Hmm.”
There was silence
while they both thought for a moment.
“It must have been
very hard being away from your hobbit friends,” the priest said suddenly.
Elijah met his gaze,
surprised at the change of subject. The
priest raised his eyebrows. “Oh, you
don’t think priests watch television or read magazines? We’re not monks, you know. Not these days.”
Elijah laughed
softly. “I know that, Father.”
“Some of them have
moved to LA now, haven’t they? You’re
all so affectionate, and clearly very close.
It must be painful being away from them for any length of time.”
Elijah blushed as he
realised the priest hadn’t really been changing the subject after all. He wondered if the priest actually realised
that.
“You don’t strike me
as someone who would make such a mistake, Elijah.”
Elijah laughed
slightly bitterly. “Sometimes I wish I
could meet other people’s expectations.”
“What about your own
expectations?”
He closed his eyes,
nodding. He took a deep breath but
couldn’t think of anything to say. Then
the priest touched his arm again and he felt tears well up and spill down his
cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he
sniffed.
“It’s allright,”
replied the priest softly. “It’s nothing
to be ashamed of.”
The priest gently
squeezed his arm and let him compose himself.
He was determined not to have a sobbing fit now, so he sat there with
his head down and the priest’s hand resting on his arm, breathing slowly and
calming himself down.
All he could think of
was Dom.
“I guess…I’ll talk to
him when I get home.”
“Who?”
Oops. He swallowed and met the priest’s gaze.
The priest simply
smiled at him. “I’m not going to ask you
to tell me.”
Elijah sniffed and
wiped his face with the heel of his hand.
“It’s a sin anyway, right Father?” he said cynically.
“As a priest it’s my
job to say ‘yes, it is’. To uphold the values determined by His Holiness in
“What do you think?”
“I think love finds
its own way.”
Elijah smiled
wryly. “That’s a pretty radical view for
a Catholic priest.”
“When your work brings
many different people to your door, you see love in many different forms. But it’s still love. That’s undeniable.”
“Still…”
The priest
sighed. “Still, there are other sins you
have to worry about.”
Elijah met his gaze,
then looked away. “Yes.”
“Being
unfaithful. Being untruthful,” said the
priest. He tilted his head
slightly. “When you lie to a loved one,
who do you betray?”
Elijah swallowed but
didn’t answer.
“Yourself? Or the other person?”
Elijah swallowed
again. “Both?” he said quietly.
The priest
nodded. “Yes. And, you betray God,
because you are turning your back on what God has given you.”
Elijah chewed his lip.
“You know what you
have to do.”
“Yeah.”
The seatbelt light
went on. They were coming in to
land. The priest straightened up in his
seat and left Elijah to his own thoughts.
As the plane touched
down Elijah made up his mind. He didn’t
speak until the priest stood to leave the plane, then a thought struck him.
“Father,” he said
suddenly, a slight smile on his face.
“What’s a priest doing in first class?
Wouldn’t you want to be with the rest of the flock?”
The priest met
Elijah’s smile, bent down and whispered “I got upgraded. One of the perks of the job.”
They both laughed a
little, and then the priest’s face became serious again. “Think about what we talked about.”
Elijah bit his lip and
nodded. He stood, picked up his bag, and they left the plane. Just inside the lounge, in view of the
waiting crowd, the priest stopped him.
“Is he meeting you?”
“Yes.”
“Good luck then.”
Elijah smiled. “Thank you, Father.”
They shook hands, and
went their separate ways. Elijah saw
Dom’s face and felt his heart start racing.
There was something there, something not quite right. Perhaps
he knows, thought Elijah. Rumours
are hard to avoid. Here goes…
Kinkyhobbit 2002
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