The Question
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Give often, and Give today
Who gives a fuck?

Happy
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Happy and Sad
Paid bills. Drank.... Smoked..... Don't even feel guilty. Well, Yeah I do. A little bit. 4 Days. Not bad.
Bills are paid. Warner does not hate me. At least I don't think so. I tried to piss her off but she was to big about it. Damn I like the people I work with. Sometimes I coulsd just cry. And I am. That feels damn good too. I must be a huge ass.

Still in there
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Mr Gardner, also no sex and only breath through your nose.
Worked a double last night. 16 hours in the bubble. Still not smoking, not drinking, eating right. made black bean soup the night before last. I'm in there folks, but have to run to get to work. More later.

Damn I wan't a SMOKE
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: It's always somethin
What a day. 24 hours with no smokes. No booze. The food was OK. Breakfast: one serving of oatmeal with a banana and a glass of carrot juice. Lunch: a pear and a lettuce salad with croutons, carrots, celery, and blue cheese dressing. Dinner was supposed to be potato soup but we need to do some more shopping so we ended up going to the Chinese place by Save-a-Lot. Not as good as the Imperial Garden but a change.


I exchanged Merry's gift, an MP3 player that did not work. The new one works better but is still fucked up. Sometimes when you turn it off you can't turn it back on unless you remove and re-insert the battery. No costumer service today and I'm debating if I should return this this one and just get a different brand.


I went to exchange my vest Mom gave me but there was not much there in my size that I wanted esp. in light of the incredibly small amount of money used. She is a great shopper but it was a close out item so only store credit. At least a gal that worked there said they had new stock coming in soon. Maybe I'll have enough time to go all the way out to the Lansing Mall someday and take advantage of it.


Wild news from Rhonda. She had a breast augmentation. She is getting married in the spring. Why bother, I ask? But she said she has wanted one for a long time. I always thought she was great looking even though she was flat as a board.


Merry's back is still hurtin and with my being on edge from the fucked up MP3 player, horsing around at the Lansing Mall and nicotine withdrawal. We were at odds some of the day . Things should be better tomorrow.


I should get Mom's thank you card from Merry out on Tuesday. No mail today and I forgot to send it last week.

It's Christmas
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: 12 hours to a new life
Christmas is finally here. All the presents are wrapped and my check book is practically empty. Merry has the prime rib in the oven and we will be feasting. I expect to see. Molly, Logan, possibly Molly's friend Lauren, June, Rusty, and maybe Jessica and Ellis.

Yesterday was not as I expected it, or was it? Merry's back had improved although she was still quite sore. I had at least 9 different cakes of all descriptions in the trunk of my car waiting to be delivered when we met Logan and Molly at Darb's. A real bonus was seeing Larry and Judy there. I had actually seen them earlier at Meijers and they said they would hold a table for us. All of us including Molly's friend Lauren, who had been kicked out of her house and a nice friend of Judy's, who's name I can't remember and I feel real shitty about that because she was a really nice person, were there also. The buffet was not bad and included some very tasty items even if it was all the caliber of bar food. Perhaps I had to much Bushmills over the day but I was not feeling my best and it went way downhill for me when I went out to the parking lot with Logan to the vehicle, a Bravada of Tina's that they had arrived in, to change the flat tire, in the rain, and all I could think was it was always something. That damn tire should not have been flat. I take care of my car. It's irresponsible to drive a vehicle with a tire with a slow leak. But there ya go. In my mind I think I know what is right and what is wrong and I let the anger and indignation seep into my brain. Merry was cool about it and I was able to take a nap when we got home. I was in my funky shit , piss , fuck mood when I got up but managed to get some chores done and wrap presents and was feeling better around 1 AM.

Like most people I have been waiting for Christmas but will be relieved when it's finally over. On top of that As of midnight I will be changing my eating habits. Will stop smoking and drinking entirely, and will be gradually working out more and more. This profound lifestyle change is partly why I have been updating this blog so frequently. I believe no thought is complete unless articulated in some way. Talking, writing, drawing a picture. It helps complete the thought process about any given issue. And I plan on having no end of issues with this radical change in my life.

I'm not sure if any one ever reads this but, Merry Christmas to all.

The day is getting so very very close
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: I'll smash you meeses to pieces
Santa IS Comin to this Town , DUDEI learned some time ago that when someone ask for a particular item for Christmas item you should not try to substitute that item for even something that is virtually identical. For example, Logan requested a Microsoft Wheel Mouse Optical.

This item is actually inexpensive and perhaps one of the most popular human interface devices around. At first I told him that I probably had one in my box-o-parts that I have in my office as I prefer to use a marble Mouse.

May I add that the Microsoft Trackball Explorer is a superior Mouse. But I Digress. According to Logan the Microsoft Wheel Mouse Optical is the superior Mouse, enabling you to move the cursor with untouched accuracy with no continued movement after stopping especially in the intense and competitive world of on line gaming. I dig out the optical Mouse that is in the box-o-parts and discover 1. It does not say Microsoft on the item, in fact no brand name is anywhere on the Mouse and the made in China sticker is the only evidence of anything.2.

It is a USB port device. Damn He said nothing about USB or PS2. Now What? I also find a USB to PS2 adapter and on the adapter clearly imprinted on it is Microsoft. I plug it in and the computer recognizes it as Microsoft. Hooray!!!. Not so fast there buckaroo. After a conversation with Logan he indicates it can't be a Microsoft Mouse. He claims there are no substitutes. OK I resign myself to spending the paltry sum at Miejers when I swing by that morning to pick up 102 dollars worth of Prime rib the Merry had charged the butcher to trim up for her and have ready. No such luck. Although the most popular Mouse, Logitech rules the computer accessory isle. No problem. I will go to my preferred place of computer and computer accessory items, Discount PC. I go in the store and I see numerous mice. Most are discounted with some off brands . We are talking bins and bins of used and new Mice including some fancy ones in their boxes on the shelf Logitech, OBS, Kensington, Think Accessories, and more. One Microsoft Mouse on the shelf. Microsoft Wheel Mouse Optical, CORDLESS.I call Logan and he exclaims No it's got to have the cord. FINE. A clerk ask me if he can help me. I indicate what I'm looking for. He pulls a Logitech optical Mouse out of a used bin and says this works exactly the same and for 5 bucks you can't beat the price. I tell him that I specifically need the Microsoft item. He rolls his eyes and says Listen here. You slap a Microsoft sticker on this bad boy and he wont know the difference , trust me. But I know better. I've been there. I received the look alike item, the just as good item in the past. He probably is right but it's not the same. I consider going to Comp USA or Circuit City. Clear across town. But First I'm thinking Target. Close by and they might have what I need and Office Max is just a few doors down. I roll into Target confident that the worlds most popular Mouse is there. I find the accessories shelf. Logiteck, Kensington, OBS and there, there it is. Microsoft Wheel Mouse Optical, but damn it's some souped up version with wheel controls beyond the norm, the Microsoft Comfort Optical Mouse 3000, but Hey! it is Microsoft, with the cord.

And still under 20 bucks. I purchase the item knowing full well Logan will be happy and confident in this Mouse. Nothing is Easy it seems.

Merry has injured her back. She is moving very slow with much pain in her face and a short temper. This is not good. She works the closing shift tomorrow and I was expecting her to help get the house in order as well as cook up a 16 lb. rib roast. She ingest Motrins and a Vicodin so she can sleep. Fortunately her doctor can see her this morning at 11:15.

I must have spent hours wrapping presents. I had forgotten how clumsy I am at wrapping . There really wasn't that many but thank god that's done. What looks better than a Christmas Tree? One that has presents crammed under it, That's What.

The Final Shopping Run
Now Playing: Ok What Now?
Including today, only 3 days to Christmas. But wait, there is life after Christmas. That cold reminder came this morning when Lt. Smith called me to see if I was available for overtime the day after. After a brief exchange with Merry, I decided I might as well, since she will most likely be working also. I called but the OT had been snatched up already by Tenniswood. But the following day was open, so there ya go. My vacation ends on day early and my work week is already going to be a straight seven in a row.
The laundry was massive and actually continues although I have moved on. The clothes are done, now to the Scooby couch covers, as we may have an overnighter or two depending on how much prime rib June or Rusty consumes. That is one comfortable futon.


Soon I will be going to Keen's. Merry pointed out Monday that they have the Heartwood Creek collection of assorted carved wooden Holiday figures and on sale.


I also need to get her some nice gloves, and I don't know what the hell else. Perhaps some clothes? And a trip to Miejer to get the prime rib which should be trimmed by now as well as the 37 lb. bag of Fit and Trim for the beast which was not in stock yesterday. I will also cruise to find assorted stocking stuffers for the masses.
That reminds me, Chipper has a card from June I need to place in his mailbox along with a card from us.
Well, better get a move on.

Christmas is a comin
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: The laundry that will not die
Finally had the opportunity to see my little girl yesterday. Wish the circumstances had been better but I think she will be OK. We went to Darb's and had spicey chicken wings and pizza. Very tasty.
I'm looking forward to seeing June, and Rusty and Logan and his girlfriend Gina, as well as Molly over the Christmas Holiday.
Was able to order a new HMO card this morning as mine was spirited away by Chinese people when I was in the emergency room last week.
What's on the agenda today? Well since I was with my beautiful daughter unMy Songexpectantly It is the same.
LAUNDRY, LAUNDRY, and more LAUNDRY.

A slow but satisfying morning
Mood:  chillin'
It's 1111. Palindromic, like Merry's age.
I have read the entire paper, mostly in the bathtub enjoying the solitude of the morning after driving Merry to work. Her suggestion, so that she won't spend to much time hanging out afterwards.
Her birthday went well. Morning opening of presents, then a meal at BigBoy. Stuffed we retired for a long nap. After which I had a haircut and she shopped at Keen's. Afterwards we went to the Jar for a snootful, and lost wages to KENO, and then off to Corey's for Italian subs, Rubens, and the delicious rum tort from Roma Bakery I had picked up that morning. We shared with the waitress and bartender and shift manager Tony, I think that was his name. Then stopped back by the Jar to share the same with Deb and the waitress.
Stuffed like sausages we slept deeply. Me dreaming of laying around with a band as it warmed up then performed at a dark indeterminate venue. Another band came by and was it seems better in some way. The dream continued with me getting into a steel tube with explosives inside, helping to determine the usefulness of the new unexplained aircraft. I adamantly refused to do it a second time but others were willing as I listened to the rather muffled report of the explosion after the end of the tube was sealed. The person emerged, none the worse for wear as we watched the large and strange aircraft fly over us.
Perhaps it was the corned beef. Maybe the pepperoncinis.
Todays list, laundry, laundry then more laundry.

Shhhhhhhhhhh
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: The day, it's a comin
Can't sleep. Took a nice long tubby but I normally get up this early. Been sleeping since early evening when I finally pooped out from partyin so early in the day.
This new day will bring Merry's Birthday. I'll be having my cholesterol checked this morning and will pick up Merry's rum cake from Roma Bakery. Being hungry may have something to do with my aversion to sleep, and thoughts of veggie subs and pizza as the idea of reducing my cholesterol prompts me to reconsider my diet as well as the memory of the great shape I was in when I was working out hard and eating right years gone by.Vegweb