Mood:  happy

Last night I made myself a pretty new pillow. Yeah, I may be a nerd, but it?s more of a symbol than a place to put my head. Today, which is my ex?s birthday and less than a week before Christmas, I have finally finished what was going to be one of his gifts. It?s a needlepoint oriental character with the phrase ?Happiness? stitched below it. It?s framed in black satin to make it a pillow, an idea his mom gave me over the summer. And even though we broke up when it was less than halfway done, I made it a point to finish it. I?m not putting my time into making happiness for him anymore, I?m working toward happiness for myself. And just to make sure I never get sappy and decide to give it to him, I made the back of the pillow pink.
:-D

Christmas really is less than a week away. I can hardly believe it. As horrible as this may sound, I really don?t like Christmas very much. I?d be perfectly happy just going to the candlelight Christmas Eve service at church, sleeping in Christmas morning, and spending the day helping my mom fix a big dinner. Ham, potatoes, wine? That?s all I want. Everyone seems so artificially happy these days. Once upon a time I loved someone so much that buying things he?d like was just an instinct. No lists, no obligations, just giving out of pure joy. How many people can say that this time of year? People running through the malls with steely determination written across their tired faces? people cutting each other off for the sake of a parking spot ten feet closer (even though they?ll all be resolving to get in shape two weeks from now)? Is that the product of love? Not just romantic love, but any true love. I know that love can make people crazy, but love should also bring out the best in people. Christmas, as far as I can tell, does not exhibit people at their best. We give thanks to God for his incredible love by blessing each other with all the greed we can muster.

Happy holidays.