Coven Craft II: If you decide that widening the circle is for you, there are many great resources to help you. This lesson is by no means a how-to guide to start a coven, but may help a little.
Reading Materials:
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You've decided, or if you haven't decided, bear with me and pretend that
you've decided, to start a coven. As a Second Circle Member, who has not yet
completed the Second Circle, you can teach what you know: The First Circle. In a
few months, you will have completed the Second Circle, and maybe started work
toward the Third, and you'll be able to teach the Second. (I will tell you now
that you can't complete the Third Circle with online work alone, but because of
the elders of the Third Circle Crisis-we only have a few- a protocol for
completing the 3rd circle with little Physical contact with other UEW members
has been created and will be discussed at the end of these lessons.) The core
realization of teaching, the thing you should realize first before beginning is
WHY. A teacher should never be teaching for personal gain, but that being said,
teaching has an inherent level of narcissism. I can't tell you how wonderful it
feels to see your words come out of someone else's head attached to "I
believe." It would, in fact, be deliriously pleasurable to hear only that,
and make us all egomaniacal gits, but you'll probably also hear your words taken
by someone else, misrepresented or worse by them, and spat back at you, so we
remain at least partially humble. So teaching, but not for personal gain, is a
problematic thing, because teaching gets us many gains; it crystallizes our
personal beliefs, shows us other points of view, gains us a body of friends and
folk who may be depended on for emergencies and gets our legacy, our words,
passed down to another generation. What UEW member doesn't know it was founded
by the late Jayne Tomas, that The Affirmation of Acknowledgement was the product
of my Third Circle Great work, etc? We are a legacy tradition, and our members
show the hand of their teachers in their ways of speech and their metaphors. I
would be lying to say that having your words passed down to another is not a
gain. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I hoped that 20 years from now the
result of my having more UEW students than the other priestesses was that I had
2000 second-generation students, enough to keep UEW running long after I was
gone, even if the other priests and priestesses give up or take no students.
So, that being said, when I say you shouldn't be teaching for personal gain, I
mean you shouldn't be teaching to have more students than anyone else, to be in
a position of power, for favors or for money. Getting that out of the way, I'd
like to tell you what my teacher told me, basically, that teaching others Wicca
is the most rewarding (and occasionally taxing) thing you can do. If you don't
teach others, not even your children, you should still be a teacher by example.
Remember as a religious minority, you may well speak for all other Wiccans in
your action to others, whether you want to or not.
With that introduction out of the way, the question becomes "How do we
teach?"
The easy answer is that we teach by forming small groups, online and off, and
sharing our knowledge with those people. The only problem with that, and this is
a problem I personally have with CFFN, is that the best way to learn Wicca is by
living it, by having a teacher who makes it a one-on one experience for you, and
tailors the teaching to what is going on in your life. I learned this way, my
teacher learned this way, and many of my offline students have learned this way.
Replicating this living Wiccan education is difficult online, and it's one of
the places where CFFN has failed in the past.
In an attempt to remedy this we've established a mentoring system. If you don't
currently have a mentor, please request one from me or Phoenix at this point, as
mentoring another is helpful for this lesson.
Now here is the work part. Imagine the WORST moment in your life up to this
point. Analyze (you can do this on paper, or in your head) how the Five Points
of Wiccan Belief, and the knowledge and history you know now, could've affected
that situation, or your feeling in it. Could anyone have said ANYTHING to make
it better? To make you work through it better? I'm not talking about pure pity
or just commiserating, although those are occasionally called for. The lesson
you have to learn here, and it is often through introspection, is how to teach
without being a teacher, but being a friend, and how to know and when to use
something as a learning experience, and when to just be a friend.
Take note, here, because I don't usually talk about Christianity in a purely
negative light, but this is the flaw of evangelism... the belief that you get
them when they are down. You preach to the hurt, the confused, the grieving, and
tell them your God will make it better if you just "give it up" to
him. NOTHING is so easy to heed when you're feeling miserable as the call to
come and suffer together. As Wiccans we will always have the temptation when
someone comes to us feeling they've lost their faith, to try to establish our
relationship with the divine in them. It is not our job, as teachers or friends,
to find that faith for them, but to get them to a place where they are capable
of finding it themselves.
A friend of mine teaches Tantra, and he is constantly telling people who are
convinced that they "can't" do things, that it is "your body, it
is natural, if you listen to it, things will work," and, to a degree, this
is what I am trying to instill in you as prospective teachers, only not with
your bodies, but with your emotions. Grief, fear, sorrow, hopelessness, joy,
bliss, confusion and dedication are all natural parts of your life, natural
reactions to things that go on, and you need to NOT be afraid of these things.
EVERY emotion, especially the ones you "don't get," are lessons.
Admittedly, the lesson may be that you have a problem, like depression, and you
need treatment of some sort. Even depression is a lesson, though. Accepting that
your emotions may be influenced by a chemical imbalance and taking steps to
correct that imbalance, either chemically or by doing activities, like talking
therapies, that cause your body to alter the chemical imbalance, is a huge step.
For me, finding out that my constant tiredness was caused by environmental
allergies was such a lesson, and I won't lie and say I just accepted being on
allergy drugs the rest of my life, I fought it, I skipped my meds and then one
day, when I was particularly miserable, I GOT the lesson. I made the decision
that I could take the drugs and hope that a better cure came along, or I could
stay miserable. If you haven't gotten this one lesson yet in all you've learned,
let me inform:
The Gods Don't Want You To Be Miserable
Back to teaching, however... As a teacher, you have to balance your own
introspection, using self-turned thought to examine the lessons your emotions
and the world are teaching, and guiding the introspection of your students so
that they can do the same thing. You need to work on your internal dialog in
such a way that you can share with others the technique for doing so. This is
where your coven, mentoring or just imagining yourself in a teaching capacity,
comes in handy.
Reflective learning is the process of explaining something to someone and having
them repeat it in their own words. Take aside the person you are mentoring, a
student or someone newer in CFFN than you, and ask them how they carry on an
internal dialog. If they do a good job at it, in their estimation, use
reflective expression to make sure you understand their internal dialog
methodology, then think how some of their techniques might help you. If they do
not feel successful, try to express what works for you, and guide them toward a
better internal dialog.
With this minor experience, you can see the benefit of a coven. This discussion,
on a bigger level, helps everyone involved understand themselves better. More
than a group doing rituals together, a coven is a group of people building upon
each other for strength and improvement. The mandatory reading materials at the
top of this document discuss group dynamics, something important to be grounded
in if you intend to teach, but, truth be told, I just spent several hundred
words to give you a simple piece of advice you saw on the first day as a member
of CFFN, if you looked.
A Coven is a group of friends. Friends who share a religion and choose to work
together. If you choose to lead these friends, your first job is to be an equal
friend to all of them. You do this first by knowing yourself and secondly by
helping them know themselves. In order to lead well you have to KNOW yourself,
your craft, your tradition, your goals, and your dreams, you have to have the
WILL to stand up for each member of the group and for the group as an entity,
all the while never giving up your goals or forgetting to do what keeps you
functional, you have to be willing to DARE to take the leadership stance when
needed, or give it up when needed, you need to be ready to refer out to experts
when things are beyond you, you need to be ready to contact a more experienced
priest or priestess when you need them, and have the means and desire to stay in
contact with your peers; and in all of this you have to be SILENT about those
things taken in confidence, speaking only in general terms to those whose help
you need, and not getting involved in side taking.
To Know, To Dare, To Will, To be Silent, is the watch phrase of the magus and
the priestess, the teacher and the confidante. If you can understand and balance
this watch phrase with your personal needs, no books or websites or teachers can
help you be a better leader, because you've mastered it already. If, like the
rest of us, you're just trying your damnedest, and you're willing to try to fill
in your faults as you grow and help others grow, I've taught you all I can in
this format.
Because of the limitations of the format, I ask that you email me personally at
my "free-time" email address, Katabasis@cuew.org with your thoughts on
what a good leader is and where you feel weak in this regard. As your priestess,
it's my job to help develop you into a good leader if that's what you want. If
time permits, having come this far, I'd like it if you took the time to help
with the other students. Start a pod, lead a chat, teach something to the group.
Feel free to email me with your suggestions on how CFFN could be better and what
YOU need to feel complete about your studies. As one of the few advanced second
circle students in CFFN, I am willing to take the time to give you what you need
to grow beyond CFFN at this point. Let's make it personal.
When you feel you're ready, and after you've touched base with me at least once
about your potential leadership role, feel free to move on to the next lesson.
You are not required to take a leadership role, but I am required to make you
ready for one, should you ever feel that need.
-Kat
This is one of those lessons that wish with all my heart things were still the way they were over at CFFN. I do believe that is a fault of mine - looking into the past a little too often. For those of you who are not aware... I've been taking offline classes at my local metaphysical store, Sacred Traditions. Great place, it really is. Auroramane and Rachel are two of the most influential women I've ever met along this path.
I've made a lot of friends and contacts over the years, this is truth. Some of my best friends were made by way of having "bad" contacts introduce us. It's funny how that works in the end. Rhys Brinley, Stone Bryson, LadyHawke (wherever that blessed young woman is now, she made a difference in a difficult time in my life), they are some of the greatest friends I've made online. Kandice, Sundancer, Wapasha Dreamdancer, Rose, Meg and many others I've met offline, they too have made big differences in my life.
What was the point of that? To make mention of leaders that I've admired, whether they were good or bad. Two men I met ages ago, are very charismatic leaders. They had big dreams and big expectations for changing the world around them. But they weren't good leaders in the end. Why is that?
The first man freaked me out after a while though. He's charismatic,
intelligent and passionately dedicated to his path. Good qualities,
yes. But he was a predator. He introduced me to my friend,
LadyHawke, and after she and I got closer in our friendship and started sharing
things we've learned and things that were starting off "warning" bells
about this man, we learned how dangerous he could be. Not that he did
anything... well, that's debatable. Many of my friends warned him away
from me. We learned that
"Wicca Boy" (as he was not nicely referred to) was after one thing,
and one thing alone - power and sex. As much as he could get.
Needless to say, I dropped off the face of the planet and stayed low on the
pagan radar for a long time because of that. I was young when all this
happened, and open to influence, new to my path and unsure of myself. I
made mistakes and trusted someone much too quickly.
Years passed, and I began to grow in my path, and ventured cautiously into the pagan community once again. This time armed with more caution and more knowledge. I met another man, this one was extremely intelligent and very passionate about a great many things. He also was charismatic and had Big Goals for our community. He wished to change the face of paganism across America. Many of the things he said I agreed with. Together with 9 others, we set out to make our changes, to make something "new". It was a good dream. We all thought so. I firmly believe that our group had some of the most intelligent pagans I've ever known. They are the most amazing people I've ever met.
But after a time, we realized what this man was after. Power. He wanted to have absolute power over others and did whatever he could to get it. I was the youngest of the group, but even I noticed little things here and there. Like how he'd throw a fit whenever someone, anyone - it didn't matter who it was - had an opinion that differed from his own. I've always believed in the right to agree to disagree, but this man went crazy about that concept. He would throw tantrums, kick people out of our group left and right and pick fights with people all over the place because it had to be his way or the high way. Not good qualities to say the least. He was wishy-washy too. First it was to destroy Christianity - not something I agreed with at all. Then he wanted to destroy paganism - another thing I disagreed with - powerfully. Needless to say, I have stopped communicating with him. I have no room in my life for dangerous people like that. I say dangerous because he's one of those people you must really keep an eye on, because he is a loose cannon, capable of going any way in order to achieve whatever it is that he wants.
Here's why I admire Auroramane and Rachel so much, they are warm people, who care about others, and are passionate about their choice of religious path. Not that they are perfect, not by a long shot. Auroramane sometimes procrastinates, and has been known to be forgetful, but she has a lot of wisdom. She hasn't been just talking the talk. She's been walking this path for almost 25 years. She doesn't expect people to hang on her every word and to take what she says as gospel truth. She has told me time and time again, that what she teaches is what she knows, something that is done right here in CUEW - teach only what you know. I've gone to Auroramane many times with all sorts of questions, and she answers them as best as she can, and helps me find the answers within myself.
Rachel is much the same way. A warm, generous and very knowledgeable woman, she is skilled with the pendulum, and is an excellent herbalist (I highly recommend any of her products at Scent by Spirit.), I dearly respect both of these women. There have been many times that I've gone into the store, not to shop, but to just talk. It's really a great thing.
The purpose of that whole babbling session was to outline some of the things I admire and some of the things I dislike about leaders. Auroramane and Rachel don't consider themselves great leaders, but I do. The two men described above do consider themselves great leaders, but I don't believe they are. I hope when I become a leader, I have some of the qualities that I deeply respect: generosity, caring, selflessness, passion, charisma, patience and wisdom.
I believe that I have a few of those qualities now, I am a caring and passionate person, and I've been told that I have more charisma than I know what to do with. I have this "gift" of when giving speeches I tend to never write them out beforehand. I go up with an outline of what I want to say, and open my mouth. I know that I always wind up saying what needs to be said, and one of my classmates at college once told me, that he finds that whenever I am speaking he is drawn to what I have to say. I suppose it's a big egotistical of me to say it, but I think that I am a gifted speaker.
I do tend to lack patience at times, and I do have a tendency to be selfish as well. I suppose these are things that I have to work on as I grow, but then again, everyone can be selfish from time to time. I am also on the lazy side, and can procrastinate with the best of them, and sometimes my expectations from others can be a little too high for most to handle. It may be that I am young and idealistic, or something else. These are things that I've noticed about myself and that I know I need to work on.
For being young, I've experienced many things. I guess I can say I have a lot of wisdom for my years. I don't know if I'm ready to be a leader yet, but then again, I don't know if I'll ever know that for a fact. Does anyone know, really, the exact moment that they're ready to get out there and just lead? Maybe I just need to do that - get out there and lead. Get out there and teach others what I've learned, get out and pass on the joy and completeness that I've found when I heard the voices of the gods calling to me on the wind. It's something that I'll find out for myself soon enough.
~ Ravenna Angelline
