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[music:] illScarlett - lie to me
nothing new. was dragged to wild water kingdom yesterday. froze my ass off in the wavepool. saw mike...i still hate him. today im sore because of them tube things...i was trying to stay on it by using my elbows...now i cant lift my arms up.
andrew called this morining. dont remember why-11am is too early..lol. glad he called. it reminded me why i broke up with him in the first place. he was saying how he hated the pic of me on
Maja's site made me hate him more.
bastard
-fin
am i being hypnotized?
[music:] Paul Oakenfold - Hypnotized
so i broke it off with andrew on thursday. i still feel like shit about it though. but after we agreed to stay friends, somehow we also decided to be fuck buddies. in other words we're in an 'open relationship' which means that we're not technically broken up, and that were not technicaly together.
on friday he looked so upset at the movies. it broke my heart. but he denied that he was upset because of me. some part of me didn't buy that bcause somewhere during the movie he just glared me until i noticed that he was looking at me. so when i turned around to look at him, he shook hs head in disappointment. i dont know what THAT was about, but it hurt. = ( then last night i cried again, but somehow i managed to get over myself.
.
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
school in progress
well, summer school's a drag. i failed chem n i still have no clue whats going on. my average is 55%...how tragic. hopefully ill pass. thats all i can hope for. thats it. i mean i couldnt learn this shit in day school...why do they assume i can learn anyting in two weeks?
anyway, have mixed feelings about andrew...last week he pissed me off with some comments he made. it had something to do with him supposedly cheating on me. why would he say that [even though i know for a fact that it was bullshit]? talked to dave about it, says i should dump him..and that theres something up if hes actually "admitting" to infidelity. and even if it wasnt true it shows that he doesnt like or respect me much. dave has a point. but its so hard t let go. especially since -drew called tonight--i realized how much i like him. his voice comforted me. especially since i have a stupid test tomorrow ive been stressing about. anyone know what charle's law is? i know i certainly dont. so confused.
lol..natalie tripped over my chair in class... everybody laughed. poor girl.
yesterday she, emily asha, and sum other chick whose name i dont know, were forcing me to ask our sexy-25 yr old-seth green-lookalike teacher if he was single. man i dont think ive ever been more embarassed. but he knew i didnt give a shit wether hes single or not and that the rest of the group wanned to know. i love that teacher..makes me laugh...love the sarcsm too. ["chris p...chris. p. daigle" lmfao...love yer name sir..can i have that 90% now?]
lost..never been so lost
i've expected more from you.
o__O
fuck you!!!...who do you think you are?
do you even know what youre doing to me? both of you!
marky convo - [seringe through the tounge]
mark says:
woah whats with the fucked up picture
sweet ruptured light says:
lol...iunno...looks kinda kool
mark says:
wtf is wrong with you
mark says:
a bleeding tongue is cool?
mark says:
whatever i dont care, whats up?
sweet ruptured light says:
meh...n/m...just bored
sweet ruptured light says:
u?
mark says:
nadda
sweet ruptured light says:
ic
sweet ruptured light says:
lol..i love yer display pix
mark says:
sweet ruptured light says:
lol...do one w/ them cowboyhats or something
mark says:
i made a whole bunch of crazy hat pictures a long time ago
sweet ruptured light says:
o
mark says:
there probably is one with a cowboy hat
sweet ruptured light says:
lol...
sweet ruptured light says:
how ironic
sweet ruptured light says:
i guess...
mark says:
not ironic at all
mark says:
coincidence
sweet ruptured light says:
aha!...thats the word
sweet ruptured light says:
for some reason i use ironic for everything
mark says:
probably the same reason you like pictures of girls' tongues getting stabbed
sweet ruptured light says:
lol..b/c of my "morbid" ways/
sweet ruptured light says:
?
mark says:
whats morbid again? liking things to do with death?
sweet ruptured light says:
something like that
mark says:
so you like people dying?
sweet ruptured light says:
no...the way that dead bodies decompose fascinates me...dont ask why
sweet ruptured light says:
im not sure myself
mark says:
i think youre just looking for attention, but thats just me
sweet ruptured light says:
im not ....why the hell would i be looking for attention....thats too much work
sweet ruptured light says:
and besides im not like that...
mark says:
lots of people do, if youre not looking for attention, why put fucked pictures in your display and funky screen names?
sweet ruptured light says:
because i just like that shit...i dont know why i do...i just do...thats me....im a genuine person...i was never and will never be fake...you can take my word for it
mark says:
if you say so
mark says:
i guess i jsut find it hard to believe that some people are fascinated with dead bodies
sweet ruptured light says:
i dont blame u
sweet ruptured light says:
it is weird or w/e you want to say about it..
mark says:
it is to me
sweet ruptured light says:
but its not like i would enjoy watching someone get killed or some shit
mark says:
i hope not
sweet ruptured light says:
dont worry i won
sigh
what do you do when love slowly begins to take control of your life, and he's all you think about?
what do you do if you can't tell him because he doesn't feel the same?
how do you live knowing that he can't know?
rage
why is that i have to live for other people?
why the fuck do i bother trying to make people happy? why cant anyone try and make an effort to make me happy for once. fuck.
i slit my wrist today. its been a long time since i last did that. its also been a long time since i've been that angry to actually harm myself so badly.
my dad made a big deal out of me loosing his precious lead pencil. i was just like oh my god! what is wrong with this man?! arrrgghh!!! and then he just assumes that i don't do my homework. which is bullshit because i do...why i do everything slow...is another story....but he accuses me of doin other random shit other than my homework.
