She Knows--Lila's Scroll
Nothing exciting ever happens around here. I can't believe I actually felt that way before SHE came back. Now, I feel so stupid feeling that way.
I was so glad to see Gabrielle return home, but she wasn't happy. Not happy at all. And there was something very different about her. I couldn't put my finger on it for the longest time. At first, I just thought it was because it had been so long since we'd seen each other. She had been traveling the countryside with Xena, and maybe she had simply outgrown the quiet life of Potodeia. I was used to long giggling talks with her, but despite the fact that we shared our old bedroom, she wasn't around much, and we talked very little.
Is it possible to miss your sister even more when she was actually there? I don't know. It felt that way. I tried hard to coax some tales of her adventures with Xena from her, but she didn't want to share. She disappeared during the day for long stretches of time, and was gone even longer at night. I tried to follow her, but she moved almost like a ghost, so quietly and quickly that I lost her trail. She was there for a week before I realized I hadn't once seen her sleep.
Then SHE came, and the puzzle began to play itself out. I had, of course, wondered if Xena and Gabrielle had some kind of "falling out", but seeing them together again, I realized that wasn't the case. Gabrielle told me she would be leaving with Xena soon, and wanted to go for a walk. Sure, now she wants to talk, but I thought Xena's appearance might have inspired her to share some secret with me.
Things happened so quickly. Xena seemed just as she always had, but I realized even more than ever that Gabrielle was acting strangely. I would have sworn I felt her pull me onto that hunk of bridge before she jumped to safety herself. Why would my own sister do that? But then all I could feel was the sensation of falling, and being jerked in midair, and I looked up into the bluest eyes I had ever seen.
I was scared to death. I briefly thought I was going to die, but Xena's words and looks of encouragement kept me from believing that. Gods, I never realized how beautiful she was! I finally managed to grip her hand, and then she was pulling me to safety, her arms giving me a slight squeeze before she released me.
"Thank you," I managed to squeak. "Thank you for saving me!"
She just shrugged nonchalantly and told me to hurry home, my family would be worried about me. I did as she said, but I couldn't get the feelings of her arms around me out of my head.
Gabrielle was the one who filled me on as to what was happening, but I had a hard time following her. The Gabrielle I thought was my sister, gone weird, was actually an imposter, her daughter from a violent encounter that never should have happened. I begged her to tell me what had happened in the barn to bring it all to an end, but she didn't want to talk about it. I saw Xena dragging two large bundles from the barn and off into the woods, but Gabrielle insisted I stay in the house and not see where Xena took them.
Joxer was the name of the man who had arrived with Xena. He was handsome in an endearing sort of way, and I could tell Mother and Father liked him a lot. He took my hand and said something to me about "Any sister of Gabrielle's is a sister of mine," and I realized he might be a chance to learn more about my sister and Xena. Besides, he was sort of cute. When it came time for dinner, I was sort of pleased to see Mother had set his place next to mine.
"What about Xena?" Gabrielle asked. "Where is she going to sit?" I realized then, that there was only room for five around the table.
"She'll eat in the woods, won't she?" my father said sarcastically. "Surely she wouldn't sit at a table to eat."
"Stop it, Father," I heard myself say, and Gabrielle and Mother stared at me in surprise. "Xena is our friend, and you know it. She'll eat here with us."
We all exchanged heated words, and I could see Gabrielle getting visibly upset. "I'll be back later," she declared, and then she was leaving the house, leaving me and Joxer to face my angry parents.
"I've seen Xena eat at a table a lot of times," Joxer was saying.
We convinced my father, and then mother told Joxer and I to go find Xena and Gabrielle and bring them back to eat. Relieved, we left, and Joxer told me they'd more than likely to be in the woods.
I tried to get him to tell me about Xena, as my curiosity was really aroused now. He kept changing the subject to my sister, though, about how wonderful she was at this or that. I realized then that he was smitten by Gabrielle, and immediately, any interest in him cooled considerably. How could I ever be sure he wasn't interested in me just because I was Gabrielle's sister?
We caught up with them in the woods, and they were just standing there, as if they were expecting our appearance. Gabrielle had a strange look on her face, one that I had seen only one time before, and I searched my memory to remember what it was. It came to me then…I had seen it a few months before Xena had first come to Potodeia. My sister had dreams of being a bard, and had told my parents she was going to spend the night with her friend Arianis. Later, she confessed to me that she had actually gone to Demaius, which was a village a few hours north of Potodeia. She had entered a bard's contest there, and had lost, but felt she had learned volumes. Our parents had never found out, but for a couple days, Gabrielle had that same look on her face. That look of uncomfortable guilt.
Joxer was quite a talker, and I found myself listening and responding to him over the dinner table. Xena was always so quiet, and Gabrielle didn't have much to say either, so it was easy to talk with Joxer. My parents liked him too, and I know my Mother was thinking he would be a welcome suitor to one of us. Whether or not it was Gabrielle or myself, I wasn't sure.
After dinner, Xena disappeared again, and I wasn't surprised when Gabrielle excused herself as well. Joxer wanted to go for a walk with me, and as I didn't want to be left alone with my parents, I agreed. This time, he wanted to talk about me, and I found myself answering his questions eagerly. He really was cute.
I was already in bed when Gabrielle returned. "Did you have a nice talk?" I asked her, as she stripped off her skirt and blouse.
"Mm hmmm." She had a secret smile on her face, that I couldn't quite decipher. "How about you and Joxer?"
"Yes, he's a fascinating man."
Gabrielle laughed outright then, and I felt myself taking offense at that. "What's so funny?" I demanded. "Joxer is a fine warrior."
"I'm not laughing at Joxer," she reassured me, slipping into her bed. The first night back, she had demanded we had switched beds. During her absence, I had taken over hers which was closest to the window, but upon her return, she had asserted older sister's rights and had kicked me out. "I'm just happy we're all together and safe."
"I'm happy too," I relaxed, and sank down into my bed. Joxer had given me a good night kiss, and my lips still tingled from it. "Xena didn't want to sleep in here?"
My sister laughed again, and then said, "She said thanks, but she'd be more comfortable outside. You get used to it after a while."
"How come you aren't sleeping outside?"
Gabrielle pulled back the covers to climb into her own bed. "I said you get used to it. Xena likes it, but I don't think I can say that yet."
I couldn't answer…I was staring at my sister's thigh muscles as she moved to get into bed. Gods, they were so pronounced! My sister had never been athletic growing up, but I suddenly became realized at how strong and muscular she had become. Traveling with Xena had changed her in more ways than one.
"What is it?" she asked, her eyes looking slightly alarmed.
"Nothing…you just look different."
She smiled at me, and again, I was struck that there was something hidden in her expression. "I've grown up, Lila. In many ways."
I was suddenly uncomfortable with the thought, and gave her a good night, and turned over to go to sleep.
I woke up a few hours later, needing to use the chamber pot. When I started to get back into bed, I glanced over at Gabrielle's bed, and was startled to see she wasn't in it. Where was she? I thought the real Gabrielle was back, not the one who slipped away in the middle of the night.
I pulled a robe around me, before climbing out our bedroom window. My parents would kill me if they found me wandering around in the middle of the night, but my curiosity was really aroused. I had to know where my sister had gone.
I knew her favorite spot to go in the middle of the night was down by Togg's Creek, and was creeping around the barn to go check it out, when I heard a sound that made me stop cold.
I glanced around frantically, trying to ascertain where the voice was coming from, and then I heard more muted sounds, and looked up. The moon was only half full, and I immediately thought the dim light was playing tricks with my eyes. I saw a silhouette, that only could belong to Xena, arched in the window. She was leaning on her stretched arms, and oh gods, she was naked!
Like a shot, I headed straight back for our room, and the safety of my bed. My whole body was awash in feelings I couldn't identify. What had I almost seen…what was Xena doing and was that really my sister's voice I had heard? I knew a man and a woman could do those things, but two women?
I couldn't sleep, my body and brain wide awake and racing with thoughts. I felt a pulsating sensation between my thighs that I recognized from a few other instances. Bentidus had been a boy who I had been closer to than any other. He was a brazen young man, two years older than me, and had been the first to kiss me. One night, when we had been sitting on the porch together, he had caressed my breasts through my blouse, and I had felt the same throbbing between my thighs. I had been scared, but excited at the same time, but my father's appearance on the porch had stopped any future exploration. My father had yelled at him, and the next day, he was holding the hand of some other girl. I hadn't felt those sensations with anyone since.
But now…the throbbing was back, stronger than before. I was dying of curiosity to know if Xena and Gabrielle did similar things. How was it possible? Yes, Xena was stronger and a better fighter than any man I knew, but she was also curvy and shapely, and with that skirt, there was no way she could hide the extra part needed for making love. My hand lowered to that part of my body where if I were a man, I would have worn that organ, and I was amazed. My underwear was soaked.
I couldn't have wet myself, I had just used the chamber pot for crying out loud. My fingers brushed lower, and suddenly, I was aware of a whole other part of my body. Gods, my fingers felt so good on myself! I didn't know what I was doing, but I found that by stroking a certain part of my lower half, the sensations increased and radiated outward. I felt a tension start in my toes, and slowly sweep up my legs.
A sound caught my ears, and I froze when I saw a movement in our yard. I jerked my hand away, ashamed, and wrapped my fingers in the sheet to dry them as I feigned sleep. I heard Gabrielle enter our bedroom, and heard her whisper something. I couldn't make out what was being said, but I heard another voice whisper back, and there was no doubt. It was Xena's low voice. Seconds later, Gabrielle slid back into bed, and I willed myself to try to go back to sleep, ignoring the fire that had started between my thighs.
I dozed off at some point, but was still awake before Gabrielle the next day. She was laying flat on her back, snoring her head off. The sheet was half-tangled at her waist. I got up and dressed silently, and then looked at my still sleeping sister. Her hair was tangled wildly, and her mouth was open in slumber. And there were other things.
I bent in to look closely. There were marks on her body, a darkened strawberry at the top of one of her breasts, and a scratch on her right side. I could see a slight bruise on the side of her neck, and on her stomach, right above where her hair started, was another one of those strawberry marks. They were hickeys. Hickeys on her breast and very close to where her privates were located. They would be covered up by her clothing, but now, they were on display for me to see. I suddenly had an image of Xena's dark head leaning over me, those beautiful lips and white teeth closing in on my flesh and sucking, and I shivered. The dampness between my legs increased. I had to get away.
I told Mother I wasn't hungry for breakfast, and headed outside. The barn door stood half opened, and I slipped inside, calling out Xena's name. Not getting a response, I shut the door and locked it. I headed straight for the loft.
Gabrielle was just waking up when I returned to the house a half hour later. I was still a little shaky on my legs, but Mother told me to feed the chickens, and I was glad for the excuse to get away again. I don't know what had just happened to my body, but I still felt alive from sensation. I never knew how wonderful that part of me could make me feel.
Gabrielle joined me as I was putting away the last feedbag.
"Did you sleep well?" I wondered if she suspected something. "Very well. You?"
She smiled brightly. "Exceedingly well." She stretched as I watched, and the marks were well hidden, except for the scratch.
"What did you do to your side?" I asked, pointing at the healing mark.
She glanced down and shrugged. "I must have gotten that while walking with Xena last night."
I wish I was more skillful at conversation, I really do. That was Gabrielle's strong suit. We went to town on some errands for Mother, and kept the conversation light. I was distracted though, and my sister noticed it. We were on the way home before she brought it up.
"Something wrong, Lila?"
I swallowed, thinking quickly, and then said, "Gabrielle, where did you go last night? I woke up and you weren't there."
There it was, that guilty look on her face. But she smiled and said, "I just went for a walk for a while. I love sleeping in a bed, but something woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. I guess I was remembering what it was like growing up here."
I thought about what I had witnessed on the previous night, and what I had discovered in the barn. "Where did you go?"
She waved a hand. "Just for a walk…it relaxed me."
I had to see her reaction. "Gabrielle, you were gone most of the night."
She didn't hesitate. "I went down to my spot at Togg's Creek, and was so at peace, I just fell asleep there for a while. I don't like you spying on me, Lila."
I was the one who felt guilty this time. "I wasn't spying, Gabrielle. I'm just still a little on edge from all that happened."
She let out a held breath. "Don't worry about me, Lila. Xena will take good care of me."
Gabrielle told me Xena was off hunting, and asked if I wanted to spend some time with her after lunch. Of course, I did, and we had a great afternoon. I had no doubt in my mind now that she and Xena were lovers, and although I still couldn't figure out how it was accomplished, I could see my sister was as happy as she had ever been. She told me about some of the adventures she had been on with Xena, and I loved every minute of it. Gods, what an exciting life she led!
And that Xena…there was nothing she couldn't do! I found myself accepting she had skills I had never dreamed of, skills that obviously allowed her to have a physical relationship with my sister. What they were, I couldn't be sure, but I hoped I'd have the opportunity to find out.
I tried casually to get my sister to confess to the more private parts of her relationship with the Warrior Princess, asking what she was like on a quiet evening around the campfire. Gabrielle shrugged it off, saying something about sword drills and evening exercise. I asked how they stayed warm when the weather turned cold, and again she avoided the issue. I had overstepped my bounds though, and she narrowed her eyes at me. "What are you thinking, Lila?" she asked, and her gaze bored through me.
I felt the color rise to my cheeks. It was obvious she didn't want to talk about it.
"Nothing, Gabrielle. I'm sorry. Xena just doesn't talk much, and I wondered if you ever got lonely for companionship."
"Never. Xena makes up for her lack of conversation in other ways. She takes good care of me."
I sensed she was challenging me, and I backed off. "I'm glad," I confided, with a warm smile. "I just want you to be happy."
We were shelling pea pods, when Gabrielle's ears pricked up, and she said she had to leave for a moment. My mother and I were sitting at the table with her, but we looked out the window, and saw Xena's horse near the edge of the woods. I don't know if Mother noticed, but I watched underneath the belly of Argo, and saw my sister's steps lead her into close proximity of Xena's. My imagination took over again, and I suddenly felt the need to distract mother. "Your potatoes are burning," I told her, knowing that would draw her attention away.
I couldn't help it. I really tried not to stare at the two of them over supper, but I couldn't help but search their expressions, looking for something I hadn't seen before. Xena was stoic as usual, answering any questions sent her way with single word answers. She only smiled once during the whole meal, and that was at Gabrielle, but it was a simple smile. I know I was staring, and suddenly Xena was staring back at me.
I felt myself caught in the look she gave me, a look that chilled me to the bone, and even caused that ever-present feeling in my crotch to stop. She wasn't happy, and her displeasure was aimed at me.
Gods, I couldn't stand the scrutiny, and lowered my head, shoveling food into my mouth for all I was worth. I once again realized how strong a presence Xena had, and wondered if she ever directed her anger at my sister. And if so, in what ways?
As was her habit, Xena disappeared after supper, but not before my father had actually shook forearms with her, thanking her again for the game she had brought us. He and Mother hadn't seemed to have noticed the mean look she had directed at me. Gabrielle excused herself, but I stopped her on the porch.
"Gabrielle, what did I do to make Xena angry at me? I didn't mean to…"
She waved me quiet with a hand. "You didn't make her angry," she reassured me. "She just doesn't like being stared at while she's eating. It was the easiest way to get you to stop."
I felt the heat in my face for the millionth time that day. "I didn't mean to," I answered. "She's just so…"
"Yes, she is." Gabrielle gave my hand an understanding squeeze. "I understand, and so will she. I'll let her know, and be in to bed in a little bit. I'm going to sleep like a log tonight."
"Thank you," I whispered, feeling much relieved.
Once again, I was already curled up in bed when my sister joined me in the bedroom. There was an unhappy look on her face. "Anything wrong?" I had to ask.
"No, no, just really tired. I'm not in the mood to talk anymore today. Okay?"
"Okay." I held myself back from staring again, and rolled over. "Good night."
I was usually a sound sleeper, but something stirred me in my slumber. It was my sister, sighing softly, and I wondered if she was dreaming. Then I heard a sound, a soft moan, and I remembered I had surprised myself with a similar sound earlier that day in the barn. Gabrielle must have been doing the same thing I had done, and I felt relief surge through me. Maybe what had happened wasn't so unusual after all. I suddenly caught an image of Xena's fingers, doing the same thing to Gabrielle that she had just done. My underwear was suddenly soaked again. Maybe Xena didn't need that extra part after all.
I listened until I heard Gabrielle's breathing regulate again. I half expected her to sneak off again, but she didn't. It was a long time before my busy mind let me drift off to sleep again. I felt I had learned more in the last couple of days than I had in an entire lifetime of reading scrolls.
I guess it was the sound of Gabrielle's voice that woke me up again. I thought I had to be dreaming, and blinked my eyes a couple of times. When the vision didn't change, I pinched myself, and sure enough, the sight continued. I wasn't dreaming, but gods, I felt like I was in the Elysian Fields.
Xena was there, lying in the same bed as my sister. I could see her back muscles working, her buttocks flexing and releasing. I had been impressed with my sister's thigh muscles, but nothing could compare to the long body of the warrior princess; She put any of the so-called warriors around here to shame. I couldn't take her all in at once, so I started at her head and worked my way down. Her black hair gleamed in the half light of the moon. I could see it fluttering about her as she threw her head this way and that.
And her shoulders, gods, my fingers ached not to reach out and touch those muscles that bunched up as she moved. Her arms were out of sight, but I could see from the way her shoulders moved they were wrapped around my sister. I could see fading bruises marring the flesh, but she didn't seem to be feeling any pain from them. My eyes lowered to the rest of her back, smooth and tanned. I could see a shiny scar on the left side of her lower back, but the rest of her was perfectly even.
And her buttocks, oh my gods! I immediately drew a comparison of the tautness of her flesh compared to my own. I know my own butt was soft and yielding, but hers looked so firm, so powerful. I could see her thighs were spread slightly, and then I know my face turned beet red. I could see two hands between her legs, and they didn't belong to Xena. Oh my gods!
I saw Gabrielle's hand push forward more, and I saw a finger disappear into a place I didn't think it could go, and then I saw Xena's upper half pull back, bending herself almost over completely. Her eyes were closed, and I saw she had her own hand pressed to her mouth, but even with my own limited experience, I knew what she must be feeling. I stared at her breasts, the nipples dark and pointed straight at me. Gods, there was finger marks there!
I moved my eyes back to her exquisite face, and my breath caught as I saw her eyes were open, and she was staring at me. She seemed to be holding her breath as well, but I could see in those icy blue eyes something else, something besides the passion she was obviously feeling. It was doubt and maybe even just a little bit of fear. She was waiting on my response.
How could I respond? I was witnessing the most beautiful sharing I could ever imagine. The mighty Warrior Princess loved my sister, and allowed my sister to love her in return. I would never again wonder why Gabrielle had left the sanctity of our village to travel with this woman. I could only wonder if I could ever be so lucky to find such a special person.
I smiled, totally at ease with what I was seeing and feeling. I felt more at ease in my own skin than I had for a long time. Not wanting to invade their privacy anymore, I turned my body so I was facing away from them. Behind me, I heard the muted sounds of my sister's lover as she thanked Gabrielle in whatever manner she wanted.
My cheeks glowed with pleasure when I heard Xena's whispered words to Gabrielle. "She knows, Gabrielle, and she loves us for it."
I wasn't surprised when Gabrielle's bed was empty the next morning. They entered the house a while later. Their hair was still damp from what must have been an early morning bath. I smiled the same smile at the both of them, and loved seeing the answering grins on both of their faces. I have no doubt they realized I would forever be their ally; and at the same time, would never betray their relationship.
They left soon after breakfast, and I walked part of the way into the woods with them. My eyes burned with tears when Gabrielle gave me a warm hug, and whispered words of thanks in my ears. I was going to miss them!
"I should be thanking you," I told her, when we finally separated. "Thanking you for seeing what could be waiting for me."
"I have no doubt you'll find the same happiness," Xena said then, and she crushed me in a bear hug. I returned the
embrace as strongly as I could, reveling in this touch that my sister had exclusive rights to. "We'll see you soon."
I gave my sister one final kiss on her cheek, and waved at them as they started off together. I took in their entwined fingers,
and Gabrielle's head resting comfortably on Xena's shoulder. It was a sight that burned into my mind, and I would never
I headed back to my life in Potodeia, feeling like I, just like my sister, had grown up.
The Xena and Gabrielle XXX Scrolls