She Knows--Gabrielle's Scroll (Part 1)

"Well, if you would have married Perdicus back then, your life would have been much happier."

My eyes stung with tears, but there was no way in Tartarus that I was going to let even one drop.

I could never expect my parents to uphold my relationship with a woman. It was completely unheard of in this or any of the other surrounding villages. I saw my mother put her hand on my father's arm, trying to make him stop and think about what he was saying. "Honey, we can't be so sure about that."

I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. My parents were in complete denial about my love for Xena. They had to know how I felt, but instead decided to act ignorant. And when I told them as delicately as I could about Hope, they blamed all the terrible things I had gone through on Xena. I didn't even try to explain Hope's son and my grandson…they would have me committed for sure. True, living with a Warrior, although fighting for the Greater Good, had its price. But the rewards were far greater.

What started it all was simple mathematics. It was time for dinner, and when I saw the table setting I realized we were one place setting short…and I didn't have to wonder who had been left out. I had to say it. "What about Xena? Where is she going to sit?"

My dad had said, "She'll eat in the woods, won't she? Surely she wouldn't sit at a table to eat."

Lila told him to stop it, and we would all eat together as a family.

And that's when I lost it. "Okay, that's it. I cannot stand this one minute longer. Xena is my friend, and as far as I'm concerned, a member of my family. Contrary to what you think, she's not a vicious murderer, she doesn't persuade me to do anything I don't want to do, and I would appreciate it if you would stop blaming her for every rotten thing that's happened to me. Either choose me with Xena, or tell me goodbye right now. I love you both, I'm the very same Gabrielle that you've always known, and we don't have to be enemies over something so ridiculous. It's your choice." Gods I was furious. Not many times in my life had I been so mad, but this was anger and hurt and disappointment and belittlement all mixed together. I walked blindly out the door to find Xena. It was supposed to be a happy time for us. Our separation was the worst thing I had ever experienced. Not knowing if I was going to live or not…I had already accepted the fact that maybe I'd never get to touch my beautiful Warrior again.

I wondered if I handled it correctly. I had to defend our love without saying something that would completely devastate my parents. I could see the disappointment my life was to them. They truly believed that I should marry and have a family. I would have Xena's baby in a minute if she could get me pregnant. But then that sparked even darker feelings, because I had so much to deal with concerning Hope. It was over, true enough. I decided that I did what I had to do, and I simply could not stand dwelling on it right now. Xena's love was the healing that I needed. And I had never wanted her more.

I couldn't let her know what was said, because it would hurt her and I would not allow that to happen. They were just going to have to learn to deal with it. It was nice that Lila accepted us, although she didn't know the extent of our relationship. She was on our side, and seemed to sense my adoration for the Warrior Princess. I think she felt a slight wave of it herself.

Xena startled me by reaching out from behind a tree and grabbing me. "Hey."

"Xena. You scared me."

"I know." She laughed, and seemed to know I was upset. I would never admit it, though.

"Mom and Dad invited you to supper." I tried to speak as lightly as possible and appearing to be in a happy mood. The truth was my heart was sinking in my chest.

"Are you sure they invited me, or did you talk them into it?"

"No, that's not it." She stopped me from walking, letting me know she didn't believe me.

"Lila and I both talked them into it. Xena, it's not because it's you, it's because they know I love a woman and they just can't handle it. Don't take it personally. Please."

She just looked down at me, her clear blue eyes absolutely stunning with the beautiful green foliage in her background. She seemed to be thinking about everyone's points of view.

"Xena, if you don't want to go back, we won't. Let's find Argo right now and I am with you…for the rest of my life if you'll have me."

She reached down for me, pulling me tightly against her and taking my lips over with her own. It was incredible that she could make my knees so weak.

"I love you, Gabrielle."

We dropped the subject and decided to take advantage of the privacy and just talk for awhile. We walked along until we found a fallen log and decided to sit down.

"So you searched for me, huh, Xena?" I said, taking her hand into mine and kissing every finger as softly as possible.

"Yes. I searched for you." Her mood was completely serious and I could read a lot of pain in her eyes. This last year had really taken its toll on us, as a couple and as individuals. We talked for quite a while about several things…all she went through trying to find me. I was amazed sometimes that she loved me so much.

"But you know what, Xena? We're sitting here now together, and we're going to be all right. Our love carried us through, and it always will."

She let me kiss her, and I soon felt her wonderful hands on my breasts. I had missed her touch and my body reflected the truth. I placed my hand between her legs and could tell her underwear was soaked. I started touching her on the outside of her underwear, feeling her open up and wanting me inside her. I wanted her now, and it had been much too long.

She suddenly pulled away from me, hearing an intruder. She could hear their voices faintly in the distance, and she said it was Joxer and Lila. I should have known. Mother must have sent them to find us and tell us it was time for dinner. This was all becoming too uncomfortable, and I was looking forward to our departure in a couple of days. She reached down and kissed me again before we let them find us.

Dinner was agonizingly boring and lengthy. Thank the Gods for Joxer's ability to talk to a fencepost. With warm, breathing bodies to actually listen, he could talk for hours. Xena and I let him take credit for as much as he wanted. This was one time we owed him. All I could think about was Xena's head between my legs, feeling her hands on my ass as she licked up my cunt.

Xena interrupted my wet daydream and whispered, "I'm going to go take care of Argo. You know I love you don't you?" I smiled at her and got lost in a moment looking into her eyes. Suddenly the silence caught my attention and I saw that we were drawing our own attention. I decided to walk her out onto the porch.

"I won't be long," she said. I had to tell her what Lila had said. "Lila keeps asking me where you are going to sleep. She wants to push our beds together to make enough room for all three of us."

Xena laughed, "I wanted to make love to you all night, and your sister wants to have a slumber party."

"She means well. I thought it was very sweet of her to offer."

"I know. But how about I pass on the invitation and you meet me in the barn later tonight after Lila has fallen asleep?"

"Xena, that's perfect. I can't wait. And I really, really mean that." I looked to see if anyone was watching, and reached up and gave Xena a quick kiss. "Thanks for understanding. I'm glad you decided to have dinner with me. I know it was hard for you."

She nonchalantly reached her hand beneath my skirt and squeezed my ass. "No problem. But you will make up for it later. Trust me."

The threat in her voice made me even wetter.

I went back in the house and sat at the table, listening to Joxer ramble on about the time he ripped some man apart with his bare hands. Lila and my parents were completely engulfed with his stories, which suited me fine because it gave me time to go to my old bedroom and think of the ways I wanted Xena to make me come before the night was over.

Missing her had been painful, a lasting hurt that could only be relieved by being with her again. My heart had ached for her to hold me, and now that we were finally back together, I never wanted her out of my sight. I could never get enough of her and I never planned to.

I watched out the window as the sky transformed into night. I must have dozed off, because I felt a blanket cover my body and saw Lila turning and walking to get ready for bed. She was such a caring soul. It amazed me that we were so close in age, but that she was still so innocent. I had noticed her interest in Xena. Lila was quietly in awe of Xena's strength and beauty, but Gods, who wouldn't be taken away by what they saw and felt with just one look?

It didn't take long for Lila to start snoring, and it took me even less time to climb out my window and began my search for a certain Warrior Princess in a nearby barn.

I locked the door to the barn behind me, making more noise than I cared to. Moonlight came through in certain areas, highlighting my way to Xena's voice. "Up here," I heard her say, and realized she had made camp in the loft. I quickly climbed the ladder. "I've always wanted to sleep up here, Xena!" It was perfect, and we would feel like we had a substantial amount of privacy.

She had our bedrolls stretched out side by side, and was lying with her arms folded behind her head. Impatiently she asked, "Are you coming over here?" I was standing there enjoying the scenery. In only moments, she would rub over my entire body and making me come by just breathing on me. I wanted her terribly.

I ran and slid on my stomach and stopped at the edge of our bedrolls. What a luxury to feel like playing. For the first time in months, I felt happy again. I was complete.

"Anything else you've always wanted to do?"

"Yeah," I said, as I slowly crawled to close the distance of our mouths. "I've always wanted to have a tall dark beautiful Warrior Princess fuck my brains out up here."

She smiled and pulled me down into her arms.

She had already removed her leathers and was wearing only her shift. I hungrily found her mouth and captured those perfect lips, moaning at the feeling of perfection-our mouths fit perfectly, her taste was perfect, her smell was perfect…everything was perfect. As I kissed her, I felt her hands busy as they were unlacing my top, sliding my skirt down over my hips, unlacing my boots. "Take this off," I spoke into her mouth, separating only long enough for her to lift her arms and let me slide off the remainder of her clothing. In a matter of minutes, we were naked and separated from the rest of the world.

I didn't feel like I could wait any longer, and as my hands had moved over her breasts and down her stomach, I turned and follow the same path with my mouth, pulling her thighs apart and sinking my head between her legs. Licking down her slit, I was reminded of the sweet ambrosia that had given me Life.

During our separation, I realized the day I loved Xena was the day I begin to see the world and everything in it through different eyes. Our love brought me to a place I had never been, and never again could I remain anywhere else and feel settled in my heart. I loved my family, but being here without her was like being anywhere without her…empty, boring and meaningless.

We were both pouring with wetness, and as I drank from her fountain, my soul was refreshed. My heart was no longer a stranger within my own chest and the color returned to my world.

She moved her hips up and down, helping my tongue stroke the length of her sex. I felt her hands rubbing on my back and on my ass, and suddenly she pulled my body on top of hers, yanking my hips backwards and spreading my lips apart with her tongue. "Gods, Xena…", I panted. She thrust her tongue inside me while sucking me into her mouth at the same time. "Mmmmm…" I heard below me, her moans vibrating against my sex.

She locked her arms around my thighs, anchoring my body against hers. Her mouth felt so good on me, and she lightly rocked me back and forth against the movements of her mouth and tongue. I went inside her with two fingers, sucking her clit and letting my tongue trail its way as it pleased. Our rhythm was working perfectly, and we were both lost in the pleasure and loving every minute of it.

She was bringing me closer and closer with the tricks she could perform with her tongue. Although I was loving tasting her and fucking her, my body finally succumbed to her love and yielded to her mastery. As I came, she began fucking me and I hid my very vocal response between her legs, sucking her in my mouth as I came. I started to allow the weight of my body rest on hers, still feeling the throb between my legs, but she entered me with yet another finger and sucked me hard, making me come again-this time even harder and much, much louder.

I finally crawled off her, and turned to face her. "Gods, Xena…are you trying to kill me? It's been too long…"

With that, I bent her knees and spread her legs a little farther apart, placing myself in one of my favorite locations. Her impatience was getting the best of her, but I was thrilled to know she was ready for me to touch her. She told me if I didn't hurry up, she was going to take care of things herself.

I stopped her conversation and just hovered over her center, closing my eyes and remembering her scent. I began making love to her with my mouth, kissing her in her most intimate spots and finally going inside her with my fingers. "Xena, you feel so good…"

I moved inside her, wishing with every thrust that it was me going inside her. To feel the heat of her sex tightly wrapped around me as I moved in and out of her was my ultimate dream. Touching her this way made my clit hard again and my own wetness was streaming down my legs.

She was very close before I ever touched her, and it wasn't long before I met the resistance her inner walls were offering as they tightened down on my fingers. "You're ready, Baby…" I told her, and almost immediately she was moving wildly as I fucked her, giving it to her harder and faster as I felt her body's request.

Her movements finally calmed down, and I finally detached my mouth from her vagina. "That was very nice, but I'm going to make you work harder for this one."

"Let's work together," she said, and she patted the bedroll. "Lie down here." As I moved to lie down beside her, she stopped me by placing her mouth on my chest. She sucked languidly, moaning with pleasure as she made me want her even more.

Helping me lie down, she told me, "I want to feel your center against mine." She took my thighs and placed them over her shoulders, tilting my center so that she could feel me against her. She placed her hands on each side of my head, leaning forward over me. I raised my head and took each of breasts in my mouth when she was near enough.

"Oh, gods, Xena! You feel so good against me…" She continued to grind into me, our abundant wetness making the sensation even more incredible. We noisily moved against each other, sweat rolling down my back as I thrust as hard as I could to meet her movements. She looked so beautiful above me. "Can you feel that okay, Gabrielle?"

"Gods, Xena, fuck me harder!"

I was rapidly climbing and wanted her inside me desperately. My desire for her was making my cunt tighten, just imagining her moving inside me, fucking me harder with every stroke. I began to come, moving against her as much as possible. "Xena…come with me…"

We both started our ascent, riding the waves of ultimate pleasure until the tide was no more. We violently moved against each other, making love with every ounce of strength we both had. I moved my legs off her shoulders and brought her upper body down onto mine. Digging my nails into her back, I clamped my teeth into the side of her neck, trying not to break the skin, but sucking hard as I came. She came with me, and it was the most incredible night.

"Gods, Xena," I whispered as my chest still heaved. "That was…I don't have the words for it." She was still lying between my legs, her body still covering mine. "I've rendered my bard speechless," she laughed, and I kissed her with all that I had.

I couldn't remember sleeping as soundly as I slept that night. Xena was nervous about getting me dressed and back in my parents' house before anyone knew of my visit to the barn loft. Having Xena's body wrapped around me didn't help in getting me to wake up.

She helped me put on my clothes. "Xena, I want to stay here with you. I'm not ready to leave yet."

"Gabrielle…your parents hate me bad enough already. We don't need them banning me from seeing their daughter, now do we?"

She knew there was no way I would let anyone keep us apart, and I knew I had to get back to the house…but it didn't make it any easier.

I knelt beside her as she sat on our bedrolls. "I'm so ready to leave. I can't wait to be with you again every moment of every day. I'm so glad you kept searching for me." I could feel myself getting emotional.

She drew me tightly into her arms, just holding me for a moment. "I love you, Gabrielle."

The early morning sky was cloudy. "What a perfect morning for sleeping," I told Xena as we walked the short distance to the house. Lila was still sleeping peacefully. Xena gave me a quick kiss and then helped boost me through the window. I took off my clothes, and turned back the covers. She was still standing outside the window.

"One more kiss."

I went to the window and she leaned in and kissed me.

"I'll see you in a few hours," I whispered, my heart aching a little as she had to leave.

When we had been too exhausted for anything more strenuous than just holding each other, we talked a little bit in the loft. It was almost funny to see Xena try to worm her way out of more meals with my family. Almost. The real reason for it was she felt unwelcome, and I couldn't find any humor in that at all.

But after some teasing and bargaining, we finally agreed that Xena would only join us for supper that night. She was definitely not cut out for farm life, and I was glad I came up with the idea of her doing a little hunting that day. It was one of her favorite things to do, and I knew if she came back with a deer, even my dad would be impressed. I didn't relish the idea of being separated from her all day, but thought it would really be for the best.

I woke up that morning and upon stretching, found I was sore in a whole lot of places. It had been a long time since I had felt this kind of soreness, and I welcomed the discomfort with all my heart. It meant I had been thoroughly loved by my princess.

I used the basin to freshen myself up, and then wandered into the kitchen. "I suppose you're skipping breakfast too?" Mother asked me. "Your father and Lila both weren't hungry, and I haven't seen a sign of Xena this morning."

"Me? Miss breakfast? No way!" I sat down and waited impatiently for my mom to cook up a heaping plate of ham and eggs for me. I wasn't going to let her down!

After having seconds, and thanking Mom for the meal, I went out to find Lila. She was just coming out of the barn, and I felt a slight tingle when I thought of what had happened in the barn just a few hours ago.

I noticed something odd in Lila's appearance immediately, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. We exchanged greetings, and she asked me about the scratch on the side of my stomach. I shrugged it off, saying something about getting it while traveling through the woods. The truth was, I didn't remember where I'd gotten it, but it wasn't there before I had gone to the loft and Xena last night.

I spent the morning and most of the afternoon with my sister, and even though I missed Xena, I still enjoyed the time with my sister. We had always been very close, and as we walked into town, she filled me in on all the latest news. Hearing about weddings and births was quite a change from the kind of excitement I lived with Xena, but it was kind of nice too.

Despite all our talk, I sensed something was bothering Lila. She gave me a few odd glances, and several times I would have sworn she opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again, without uttering a sound.

"Something wrong, Lila?"

She paused and then told me she had awakened last night, and I hadn't been in my bed. I couldn't help but feel a flush of heat to my face, as I realized what she might be implying.

I thought quickly, and answered, "I just went for a walk for a while. I love being able to sleep in a bed, but something woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. I guess I was remembering growing up here."

She asked me pointblank where I had gone, and I hated to lie to her, but I didn't know why she was suddenly so curious. I know before traveling with Xena, I hadn't known it was possible for two women to love each other the way we do now. Lila, being younger than me and having never left Potodeia was more than likely just as unaware. I tried to be casual as I told her I headed off for Togg's Pond. It had always been a favorite spot of mine.

I told her I didn't like her spying on me, but she assured me she wasn't. She was just making sure everything was all right.

I had sensed over the past couple of days that Lila had become fascinated with Xena, so later that afternoon, I wasn't very surprised when she started asking all kinds of questions about her. They were innocent enough, but when she started questioning how we spent our evenings, I sensed she was leading up to a path I didn't particularly want to go down. I turned the tables on her. "What are you getting at, Lila?"

She blushed then, and I knew I had been right. I silently thanked Xena for the blunt tactic I had just used…that was something she would do. My sister hemhawed around, and said something about worrying about me getting lonely.

I assured her that Xena took very good care of me, in more ways than just through conversation. I could never tell her what some of that good care consisted of, and just smiled a secret smile. She accepted that, telling me she just wanted me to be happy.

Later, Lila and I were helping mother in the kitchen when I heard the whippoorwill signal Xena taught me to use and recognize. I told Mom and Lila I'd be back in a bit, and hurried to meet up with my love.

I ducked behind Argo, using her as a shield as I reached up and gave Xena a quick kiss. She moved to deepen the kiss, and ashamedly, I pulled back. Lila's line of questioning was still uppermost in my mind.

She told me in that sweet tone of voice she used when she wanted something that she had missed me, and I had to smile and tell her I had missed her too. Argo was loaded down with game, including a huge deer, and I offered to help her carry it to the relative privacy of the smokehouse. She agreed.

I couldn't think of how to start while we were securing the meat inside the small smokehouse. So instead, I told Xena some of the things my father would do to preserve the meat she had brought. There was so much, it would feed my whole family through most of the winter.

I should have known I couldn't fool her. I gave up on trying to talk to her then, still not knowing how to approach the subject, and was reaching for the door to leave, when I heard her speak behind me. "What's wrong, Gabrielle?"

I smiled to myself. I knew her observant nature had kicked in. I turned to face her. Gods, have I mentioned lately how bright blue her eyes were? Even now, in this serious situation, the closeness of her beauty threatened to take my breath away.

I regained my senses though, and told her I'd been trying to figure out the best way to tell her what I had to say.

She suggested I say it straight out, and I did, telling her about some of Lila's questions. I told her mainly about Lila's questioning where I had gone last night.

I was amazed when Xena didn't seem bothered by what I told her. In fact, she was chuckling over it. I realized then that it was MY choice not to reveal the truth to my family, and I was the one who had gotten myself into this mess. Xena would have told them the true nature of our relationship a long time ago.

I hesitated just a second before I told her what the real heart of the problem was. I was afraid if I took off tonight, Lila's curiosity would lead her to try to follow me. Xena nodded her understanding, and said we could lock the barn door.

I shook my head and explained that if Lila thought we were in the barn, she would drive us crazy trying to get inside. I gave her the pleading look, telling her it was only for one night.

A deep sigh of relief escaped me when she agreed. "We're leaving tomorrow," she told me. "Surely I can go that long without touching you."

"Right, and I'll just have to convince myself I can go that long without touching you," I smiled back at her. I stood on tiptoe and gave her a kiss of gratitude. I couldn't resist giving her a seductive look. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow night."

In a husky voice she told me she'd hold me to that. Thank the gods!

My father was very pleased with the results of Xena's hunting expedition, and that made supper more pleasant than usual in that regard. However, Lila was acting funny…barely speaking and she kept looking back and forth at me and Xena until I was feeling uncomfortable under her gaze.

Xena was well aware of my sister's curiosity too, of course, but she didn't seem to be letting it bother her. Still, I was surprised when I felt her take my hand under the table. She gave it a little squeeze, and I looked up just in time to see a slight smile curve her beautiful lips. Somehow, that made me feels much better.

Xena didn't seem to be bothered by my sister's rudeness, or at least I thought so, but I was confused when I glanced over at Lila and saw her look of shock. I followed her gaze, and saw Xena giving her one of her most intimidating looks. Lila's face pinkened visibly, and she looked down at her plate. She didn't look at either of us once during the rest of the meal.

After supper, Xena made a hasty retreat, as usual, but I saw my father stop her on the way out to thank her again for the meat she had brought. I wanted to go out with her, but Mother asked me to stay and talk to her while she washed up the dishes. I couldn't tell her no. For years, that was "our" time to talk, and I'm sure Mother missed it.

Then, as I was getting ready to leave again, Lila stopped me and asked me what she had done to make Xena angry with her. I assured her that Xena wasn't angry…just not real fond of being stared at while she ate. I told her I'd be in to bed in a little bit.

When I caught up with Xena, the first thing I asked was if she really was mad at Lila, but I had been right. She was just having some fun with my sister. Xena mused aloud how much Lila knew, and I admitted I really didn't know. I had to admit I kind of wish she knew everything though. It was hard hiding it from her, and it made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

I had to ask Xena something that had been nagging at me for some time. "Xena, does it bother you that I haven't told my family the truth?"

Eventually, she reassured me that it was my choice, and she was satisfied with whatever I wanted to do. Then she told me something that made my heart and other body parts swell with love and desire. "At this moment, right now, the only reason I want them to know is because I want to lay beside you tonight…to hold you in my arms and not let you go. I missed you today, but tonight will be even harder."

Sometimes she could be so sweet it made me melt, and this was one of those times. I beamed at her, and then with a groan, she was pulling me into a strong embrace, her mouth playing a symphony over mine. I felt her hands stroking my back and ass, igniting the flame that had been flickering all day. Beside myself with want, I was reaching up under her skirt when she moaned, and then cursed under her breath. A second later, I knew why. I heard Lila calling my name.

I saw the anger well up in Xena, and didn't know what to say to appease her. I was feeling it too. She gave me another quick kiss and told me to go on. She said she wasn't sleepy yet, and was going to do a little more hunting before retiring to the barn.

Gabrielle's Scroll (Conclusion)
Xena's Scroll
Lila's Scroll
The Xena and Gabrielle XXX Scrolls