June 24 I can barely hold the pen tonight; plans have been made for tomorrow..gran is leaving! I don’t know exactly why, but she has suddenly announced she is catching a bus for destination none-of-my-business early tomorrow morning. I have had to fight to keep from phoning Jay all evening, and I think she knows it, too. I’ve been helping her pack and she’s doing it in a hurry, so she must be eager to get going. Oh, so am I! I’ve been trying to talk myself into falling asleep and all I can do is stare out the window..tracing lines on my hips, over my shoulders, across my lips. My fingers taste like nothing.. I hope his kisses will bring change to that. I hope he will change me head to foot. I hope I can change him, too.. I’m going to see if i can’t talk him into coming over at dusk. There are enough candles here to set a blaze..or a mood. I will keep you posted as to what happens. I don’t know where this came from, but it’s a pure red stroke! I’m going to put my doubts aside and see what develops. Part of me is pure terror and the other part..well, the other part has waited a long time to know the truth. Turn the page.. Turn back a page.. close the journal