wow, it's been a long time since i've written anything here, and someone told me i should start putting stuff down here more. i still insist i have nothing to say, but i'll give it a go.

i had a dream last night about one of the little boys from the orphanage in mexico. he came to visit me, and i wanted to show him some really fascinating photographs, but some girls were telling me i'm a bad person and trying to take the boy and the pictures away from me. when i looked at him again, he had turned into a man and i was riding a pink tricycle down a hill. he was running behind me with his hands on my shoulders and i was in love with him. i had my arms stretched out and i was leaning back. bill analyzed the dream for me today.

tonight we went to a concert. i went to see sparta, but hot water music was (slightly) more arousing for me. it was so cold when we left, and all the bus stops were closed because they're redoing the sidewalks downtown. i forgot i had a hood on my sweater, so my face was cold. i was sure it would turn to ice and shatter right off of my head. ((it didn't)) the bus finally came; ryan was driving. what a kick in the gut.

if i told you this was killing me, would you stop?
Watch your mouth hold your toungue boy because you're running out of breath running out of time before every careless word that you utter renders you utterly useless now you're drowning in your own saliva trying to speak yourself to the top of your empty world well keep on talking just keep on rambling you've got your mouth full now listen here's the pleasant part you and i we fell apart why can't you make up your mind shut your mouth burn your bridges throw your words like an attack that stab me in the wait a second what's that i just heard nevermind it's obviously worthless now you're standing on your soapbox yelling from the rooftops everything you say is a lie listen here's the clever one who speaks before his thoughts are done why can't you make up your mind watch your mouth hold your tongue some things are better left unsaid now i hope you're pleased you let your pride stand tall it danced within your words right before your fall why don't you say that to my face if i told you this was killing me would you stop?
--the juliana theory.