For the first time in his life, Will Turner felt like he was where he belonged. Elizabeth had been right when she said that he was a pirate, so instead of hanging around Port Royal with her and leading a boring life, he decided to do what he really got a thrill out of -- pursuing adventure. Much to Elizabeth's dismay, he told her that he wanted to go back out to sea the very same night that they had finally gotten together. She called him a no-good scallywag, smacked him hard across the face, and had thrown him out of the Governor's mansion.
The next morning, Will commandeered a small boat and set out to sea. It took a good two days, but he eventually caught up with the Pearl. After explaining to Jack that he knew he had too much of his father's pirate blood in him to stop seeking adventure, he proudly became a member of the crew. His duties mainly included keeping Jack away from the rum, and lying around shirtless. It's too bad that Elizabeth wanted to stay in Port Royal; now he'd have to find some other wonderful woman with whom he could fall hopelessly in love and live happily ever after.
*****
A week after boarding the Pearl, will was awoken from his sleep by a loud clap of thunder. He immediately sprung out of bed and clumsily hit his head on a large wooden plank. Stifling his cry of pain, he heard a torrential rainfall and quickly bounded out of his small cabin. "Anamaria! What's happening?" he shouted upon reaching the deck, only to be greeted by a fierce rain unlike any he'd ever seen.
"Are you daft? It's a storm!" she yelled back at him.
"Where's Jack?"
"He's at the wheel!" Anamaria's reply was nearly drowned out by another thunderclap. "He could probably use your help!"
Will ran against the sheets of rain to reach Jack. "Can I help?" he asked his Captain breathlessly.
"Well, that depends!" Jack shouted. "Are ye still a virgin?"
"What?!" Will's voice went up several octaves at that moment. "What kind of question is that to be asking at a time like this?"
"A very reasonable one, m'boy. You see, I would bet most anything that this storm is the result of some pagan god who is ferociously angry at the Pearl trespassing on sacred waters or some nonsense like that. So I figure the only way to get rid of the storm is to offer a sacrifice," Jack explained in his typically slurred voice. "And the best sacrifices are always virgins. It's about all they're bloody good for."
"I can't believe you--"
"Will, you must be the only crew member on this ship who is still a virgin," Jack continued. "Even the parrot has enjoyed some knickers-down a few times. So I'm afraid I'll have to throw you overboard now."
"This is insane!"
"Listen Will, I hate to have to sacrifice you, but I've dealt with these pagan gods before and they're not much fun. Remember, they're the ones who put the first curse on the Pearl. And then once, after leaving Tortuga, I managed to anger another pagan god. I'm telling you, luv -- me and pagan gods, we just don't get along. And this curse, it was awful. My crew members started coughing up dreadful things, just the most disgusting things you can think of. You don't want that to happen, do you? Think of Anamaria, Will! Think of Mr. Gibbs! Think of the parrot! Think of me!"
"I am *not* throwing myself overboard!" Will exclaimed, his eyes flashing angrily.
"Now listen here, young Mr. Turner," Jack said sternly. "You joined this crew knowing that I'm your Captain, and failure to follow my orders constitutes mutiny."
"And following your orders constitutes certain death!"
"It appears we have reached an impasse! Mr. Gibbs!" Jack yelled, turning to summon his right-hand man. "Help me hog-tie Mr. Turner."
"No need, Captain," Gibbs shouted as he flashed Will a reassuring smile.
Jack looked at Will with astonishment. "You mean you're *not* a virgin? I never would have guessed!"
"No, he's a virgin!" Gibbs hollered for all to hear. "I'm sure of it! But up ahead -- there's clear skies!"
Sure enough, straight in front of the ship were beautifully clear skies. In fact, it didn't even look like it was nighttime anymore once you got over to that area. So Jack steered the Pearl over to the mysterious patch of idyllic blue sky whilst Will cowered in the corner, still afraid of being used as a virgin sacrifice.
"Land ahoy!" shouted one of the crew men.
"Where the devil are we?" asked Gibbs as they exited the stormy waters and sailed into a beautiful river. "It looks like we're on the other side of the world. Makes no sense to me."
"I don't like the looks of this," Jack muttered, making Will shrink further back into the corner. "Mr. Gibbs, do you have any clue where we are?"
"No idea, Jack!"
"Must be pagan trickery. Those blasted gods have it out for me, I'm sure of it," Jack said to himself as he stroked the beads in his hair. "One moment we're in a storm, the next it's smooth sailing."
"Captain, there's another ship up ahead!" Anamaria yelled.
"Fire at them!" Jack ordered. "They've been sent by the gods to destroy the Pearl!"
"It looks like a peaceful ship, Jack," she told him.
"Anamaria, load the guns," he said, paying no heed to her words. "I'll not be bait for the fishes because of this infernal ruse. Young William! Help load the guns!"
Will scrambled to help get the Pearl ready for battle. The ship ahead continued to sail serenely towards them, unaware of their impending doom. While Will wondered if maybe they were making an unwise decision, he decided that Jack was right -- this was a strange situation, and it was probably best to err on the side of caution. Besides, it was either this or a virgin sacrifice, and he wasn't eager to go tumbling overboard.
"Now fire!" Jack yelled when the guns had been loaded.
"Fire!" Anamaria echoed.
The guns fired on the other boat as it sailed towards them, but then something extremely strange happened: there was no impact. It was as if the guns hadn't been fired at all. The crew of the Pearl looked at each other in terror. "Witchraft!" a crew member hollered. "We're all cursed!"
"Try again!" Jack ordered.
"Aye, captain!" Anamaria shouted. Once again, the guns fired with no result. By this point, the other ship was approaching them quickly, and Will realized that the virgin sacrifice was beginning to look like a reality again.
Indeed, Jack was now slowly approaching him with a look in his eyes that said 'get ready to be sacrificed to heathen gods.' But just when Will thought all hope was lost and he was about to be thrown into the watery deep, a resounding crash sent everyone toppling to the floor of the deck as the Pearl was suddenly hit by some strange impact. "What in the name of Mary is going on?!" Gibbs cried.
"Who dares bring evil upon the elves and the Istari?" a resounding voice boomed from the other ship. Will's eyes widened. This had to be a dream; that was the only explanation for this. Or maybe he had accidentally consumed Jack's rum. "Stand up and show yourselves!"
The crew of the Pearl slowly stood and faced the other ship. They saw two men (at least, they *looked* like men) glowering at them; one had a pristine white beard and flowing white robes, the other had long brown hair, pointy ears, and a silver tiara. "Are ye the pagan gods?" Jack shouted at them.
"I am Gandalf the White," said the bearded man. "I am an Istari. This is Elrond Half-Elven, former Lord of Rivendell."
"I'm sorry luv, but ye are failing to make any sense," Jack said.
"You are criminals," Gandalf told the crew of the Pearl, acting as if Jack hadn't spoken. "You attacked us without reason and you must be punished." He raised a white staff, and suddenly Will found himself being dragged towards the ship as if by magic. Looking around frantically, he saw that everyone else on board the Pearl, from Jack to the parrot, was also being inexplicably dragged towards the strange ship.
"Where are you taking us?" Will asked once they were onboard the other ship, trying unsuccessfully to conceal his fear.
"You will be taken to Minas Tirith, to the court of the King of Men," Gandalf told the young pirate. "He will judge you."
"The KIng of Men?" That sounded rather ominous to Will. In fact, this entire situation was rather ominous. Maybe he just should have stayed in Port Royal and have settled down with Elizabeth.
"Yes, King Elessar. Aragorn to his friends," the magical man explained. "Although Elrond knows him as Estel, and still others know him as Strider. And a certain elf calls him Hot Stuff. But that's another story."
Will's brow furrowed in confusion, making him look so adorable that most anyone would want to eat him with a spoon. "An elf? If you don't mind my asking, where am I?"
Gandalf rolled his eyes. "How is it that you have never heard of an elf before?"
"He's quite naive, this boy," Jack interrupted. "In fact, he's a virgin. If that's the sacrifice you're looking for, you should feel free to take--"
"What an uncivilized thing to bring up!" Elrond huffed.
"Well, I've never been known for my civility, sir," Jack said with a smile, flashing his gold teeth.
"Gandalf, let's just get these . . . ruffians to Minas Tirith as quickly as possible," Elrond said disdainfully. "Let Estel deal with them; he'll know what to do. Then we can go off to the Grey Havens in peace."
As the boat set sail for Minas Tirith, Will closed his eyes and tried
to think of a way to get out of this situation. But it was to no
avail. His only hope was that King Elessar was a good, just man who
would understand their strange plight and help them get back home.
