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TITLE: From Distant Lands (2/?)
AUTHOR: Elizabeth (sef7881@aol.com)
RATING: PG-13 (for this chapter)
PAIRING: Will Turner/Aragorn
SUMMARY: A twist of fate throws Will Turner into Middle Earth
FEEDBACK: Please!  I'm a total whore for it!
WARNINGS: Crack!fic, crossover, major spoilers form 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and 'Return of the King'
DISCLAIMER: The monolith that is the Disney empire owns Will Turner; the Tolkien estate owns Aragorn.  I own nothing except a bunch of shoes and an old leather backpack -- and I'm making no money off this humble little story
ARCHIVE: I'd be honored, just let me know where it's going
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Sorry that it took *forever* to get the second chapter up!  Thanks for the patience and the fans who provided a much-needed kick in the butt
DATE WRITTEN: November 29th, 2003
 
Will's heartbeat thundered in his chest as he was lead into the Great Hall of Minas Tirith's palace.  All around him, there were beautiful portraits and lush tapestries hung on the marble walls, and his feet trod heavily on the gorgeous marble floors.  But he couldn't pay attention to his exquisite surroundings.  The only thing he could focus on was the fact that his life, and the lives of his faithful companions, were as at risk as they'd ever been.
 
The journey to the strange 'White City' had been one of unbearable silence, where Will had offered prayers to God at every turn.  Every single crew member now looked lost in different stages of fear, from the cook's tears of terror to the parrot's incessant squawking.  Even Jack -- laid-back, what-me-worry?-Jack -- had fear shining in his eyes.  It was a bad situation; there was no getting around it.
 
And now they had to deal with this King Elessar.  Honestly, who names their child Elessar?  Would it have been so difficult for his parents to have named him Edward or Edgar instead?  Of course, Will had already encountered men named Elrond and Gandalf in this strange place, so he didn't expect much of these people's sanity -- even if they did have *incredible* taste in decorating.
 
*****
 
After what seemed like hours of waiting in the King's antechamber, the band of pirates was getting antsy.  "Why is this King Elessar so high and mighty that he can treat us like riffraff?" Gibbs asked, scratching impatiently at his forehead.
 
"Just be patient," Anamaria urged.  "And remember to be *polite* when we meet him.  He'll not be inclined to grant us any clemency if we act like rude bandits."
 
"But that's precisely what we are," Jack reminded her with a slight grin, his bravado overcoming his fear for the moment.  "Rude bandits with style."
 
Will sighed.  "Jack, could you please take this situation seriously?  Our lives are at stake."
 
"Our lives are constantly at stake, Mr. Turner.  While I admit that this situation is stranger than most, I have no doubt that we'll survive this peril as we have all the others."
 
The doors suddenly swung open and a long, lean man with copper curls walked out into the room.  "I am to escort these thieves in to see the King," he informed their guards.
 
"Of course, Captain Faramir," the guard stammered.
 
"So," the man said coldly, looking them up and down.  "You're the criminals who tried to prey of Gandalf and Elrond.  I'm sure that my friend, the King, will make sure that Middle Earth is rid of the likes of you."  Will swallowed hard.  Several times.  No, this definitely was not looking good.
 
The shackled prisoners were brought slowly into the main audience chamber.  Will looked at his feet, unable to make eye contact with the man who would decide his fate.  There was some murmuring, the sound of people shuffling around, and then a clear voice said, "Which case am I judging this afternoon?"  The voice was low and gravelly, with an accent that Will could not quite place.
 
"It's not one that's on your schedule, Ara . . . I mean, King Elessar."  Will recognized that voice as belonging to the man named Faramir even though he refused to look up.  "This is the one I just told you about -- the group that used weapons to attack Gandalf and Elrond as they were departing for the Grey Havens."
 
"They're here already?  I suppose we're wasting no time in sending them to their doom."  Doom?  That was *not* a good word.
 
"That's the idea, Your Highness."
 
"Do we know who the leader of this band is?"
 
"I am."  Oh, this was just what Will didn't need: Jack talking on their behalf.
 
"Speak your name," commanded the King.
 
"*Captain* Jack Sparrow.  I'm in charge of the Black Pearl and of all these fine men you see here, plus the woman and the parrot."
 
"What possessed you to attack a friendly boat, Captain Jack Sparrow?"
 
"Well, in all honesty I didn't know it was friendly.  You see, we had been tossed around by the pagan gods in this awful storm, and we mistook the good people in the boat for those pagan gods who were trying to harm us.  I know that it sounds insane now, but at the time my decision to fire on them was quite a reasonable one.  We're not from around here, you know; we have no knowledge of these famous men named Gamballs and Elroo that you speak of."
 
"You mean Gandalf and Elrond."
 
"Yes, whatever."
 
"Where *are* you from?"
 
"The Caribbean.  It's a wonderful place with rum and sun and all the blue waves in the world.  You should try it some time -- after getting into some more casual attire, that is.  I think that the wenches would really have a go at you if you got out of that fancy stuff."  Will prayed that Jack would simply stop talking.
 
The King sighed impatiently.  "Captain Sparrow, are you telling me that you and your crew are not from Middle Earth?"
 
"Now you're getting the idea!  Quick on the uptake, aren't you?"
 
"What magic did you use to get here?"
 
"No idea, to be honest.  We were caught in a tempest near Bermuda, and the next thing we knew, we were here."
 
"Unbelievable."  King Elessar sounded truly amazed, and also seemed to believe their story.  Perhaps there was a sliver of hope for them after all.
 
"So now that you know our tale of woe -- and innocence -- what are you going to do with us?" Jack inquired.
 
"In a case as serious as this one," Faramir said, "the King must deliberate--"
 
"No need," Elessar told him.  "I've made my decision."
 
"Forgive me, King Elessar, but aren't you being hasty with a crime of this magnitude?  After all, they could have killed your wife's father!"  Now Will was definitely intrigued.  The King was married to the daughter of that really tall wizard or the pointy-eared elf?  Attractive wives must be a rarity in this strange land, or maybe this Elessar guy was a real dog!  But there was something smooth and almost sensual about his voice -- not that it affected the completely heterosexual Will in any way whatsoever.  Still, he refused to look up, keeping his eyes trained on the floor.
 
"Their actions were done out of fear.  Yes, they were misguided actions, but I believe that they were in self-defense.  The most important thing is to get the crew of the Black Pearl back to the Caribbean.  Since Gandalf is not able to go to the Grey Havens until another ship is built, I will ask him to try and use his magic to figure out a way to get them back to their world.  In the meantime, this crew is not to be imprisoned in a dungeon; they are, however, restricted to the palace and cannot travel outside its walls until such a time as I decree otherwise.  Our goal is to get these accidental voyagers back home."
 
"So is this the King's royal decree?" Faramir asked.
 
"It is.  I grant mercy to these prisoners."
 
Will couldn't believe his ears.  His life was going to be spared and he was hopefully going back to the Caribbean instead of staying in this incredibly strange land.  He felt like falling at King Elessar's feet and offering him whatever services he wanted in gratitude (black-smithing services, that is).
 
"And a bloody good decree it is, mate," Jack interjected.
 
"You will be in the custody of a guard or a royal official at all times," Elessar continued, unperturbed by Jack's rude interruption.  "At no times shall you leave the palace or be left unsupervised.  You will not try to escape, or I *will* imprison you.  Is that clear?"
 
The crew of the Black Pearl all yelled a hearty "Aye!", startling the King.  Well, they all yelled it except for Will, who simply nodded.  He was still a bit overwhelmed by the strange situation, and also unnerved by the effect that this King's voice was beginning to have on him.  The more he heard it, the more it unlocked in him something secret, almost shameful, that he had never felt before.
 
"Will m'boy, say aye," Jack ordered.  Terrific.  Jack had put him on the spot.
 
"Aye," Will mumbled, his cheeks turning crimson.
 
"Then it is settled," Elessar decreed.  "Take them each to their own room, give them good accommodations and food.  I will meet with Gandalf immediately and discuss with him the prospects of returning these strangers to their homeland."
 
"Yes, Sir," one of the guards said.
 
Will felt himself being pulled out of the audience chamber along with the rest of the crew.  He suddenly realized that he hadn't thanked the King, and as he had been raised in a dreadfully polite manner, it would reflect terribly on him if he didn't do so now.  Unfortunately, when he looked up to try and shout out his gratitude, Elessar's head was turned away to consult with Faramir about something; all Will could see were the long brown locks that covered the back of the King's head.
 
But just before he left the chamber, the King turned his head and caught Will's eye.  Too paralyzed to shout out his thanks, all Will could do was stare and blush.  For indeed, there was no getting around it -- even to a completely heterosexual pirate such as Will Turner, King Elessar of Gondor was very, very hot.
 

From Distant Lands Part 3

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