A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
Martek's rope instantly jumps from his hand and tightens around Bela from head to toe, even holding Bela's mouth shut, covering his eyes, and pinning one arm. Leaving Bela standing there holding the helm and unable to move. Martek pulls the helm out of Bela's hand and puts it on. He then releases his thumb covering the dragon engraving on the Dagger of Time.
Time and space shift around you in a blur. In what seems a second later, all of you reappear together in the Common Room of the Blue Frog Tavern, including (the very much alive) Shipy and Taran. Martek removes the Earth Dragon Helmet and puts it in Bela's only free hand.
"Everyone always wants to do things the hard way! Come to me, Brutis." Instantly, the rope (still in cable form) releases Bela and jumps back into Martek's hand. Sheathing the Dagger of Time, Martek turns and gives it to Jack de Crampon. "Don't frelling™ lose it, Jack. Remember, it's still mine!"
At a table nearby you recognize Tosal Thoth. Entering the Common Room is a very finely dressed human in his mid-thirties. The man clears his throat and looks around at the odd assortment of adventurers gathered there. "I'm sorry, but the Wizard Grutoss could not attend himself today, so he sent me to fill you in. My name is Cobalt. I am Grutoss's apprentice. I'm sorry, but it seems your services will not be needed." Smiling slightly, Cobalt adjusts his collar and turns to leave unless someone talks to him.
"Ah crap... I really needed this job! What a big waste of Time™!"
Whispering so Tosal Thoth cannot hear him, Martek says, "Let us return to Temple Isle and I will pay each of you what Wizard Grutoss promised to pay you. I hope there are no hard feelings, Bela, Taran, Shipy, and the rest of you! The compensation was 200 platinum dragons to each person, wasn't it?"
"I think it's time to open up a can of woop-ass on you Martek! Frak™, I died even!" Grabbing Jax's hand, the Hobbit holds it against his chest to hold him back as only a true (non-fighting) Hobbit can.
Rubbing his sore neck and arms, Bela says, "Thanks, Martek. I thought Jack was going to stick me for sure. But what if he'd gone after you instead?" Bela puts away the helm, wondering how he will dispose of it, then says to everyone, "Let's go, and I'll tell you how I figured it out along the way."
Like anyone's going to listen to a long-winded elf!
Jack sways to and fro like a listing frigate in a gale, woozy from the "teleport of delight" (10 GPs to anyone who gets that reference). He looks around him and, in spite of his wounded pride, has to give a little credit to Martek for bringing him to a bar.
"Sucker."
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere in time pushing up daisies? Good Gremlins, you do linger like a bad fart don't you?"
"Hey, chief, seeing as I saved your life and all, I figure you owe me a little payback. Gimme that there helmet, why dontcha?"
"You want some of me too Jack? Because I'm inclined to kick your dumb bone ass too, ya' worthless lesbian... er, or is that thespian?" I move behind Jax, leaning out to look around him. "Just bring it over here bone pile!" I quickly hide behind Jax as any (non-fighting) Hobbit would.
Taran stands in silence from the moment the adventurers reappear in the Blue Frog Tavern through to Shipy's latest quips. When things quiet down, he sits down at a table, pulls out the coin Grutoss had given him, at least in one loop of this timeline, and stares at it blankly.
"I.... I think," he says to Jax half-heartedly, "I think I've had enough adventures for a lifetime. Nay, <grunt> several lifetimes." He looks up at his brother. "How many times did I die, I wonder, before we finally found ourselves back here, before the adventure even began?" He returns his gaze to the coin, snarls at it, and lets out a truly Orcish sigh of exhaustion.
Mindful that his life's blood had been spilled more times than he can remember in the temporal adventure, Taran pouts the rest of the evening and doesn't even attempt to try to figure out the paradoxes he'd just lived.
Jax walks over to Taran and pokes him, eliciting a characteristic grunt. "So it is you, T. Nice to have you back, stinky. You really gotta stop dying on me, though. Bad for my karma. What you say we get our loot, then pay Mom and Pop a surprise visit?"
Before Cobalt leaves, Jax pulls him aside, "So, uh, Mr. Cobalt, call me weird, but what exactly is the state of affairs between Khazan and the Lizardmen of Red Water Bay these days? Just out of curiosity, you know."
"You're welcome Bela, but I would never have let Jack hurt you, not really." Martek rubs his forehead where Bela flipped him and gives Bela his best poker face. "Nah, I wasn't worried about Jack, he's a coward at heart. He wouldn't do anything." Turning his back to Jack (who still has his weapon drawn), Martek pats Taran on the shoulder. "Cheer up dude. You should have seen Jax cry on cue like a real 'Crampon' every time you died."
Cobalt seems surprised that someone would ask such a question, especially an Orc, but Cobalt is more than happy to answer it. "Uh, well King Ralathor is one of the City of Khazan's most loyal and useful allies and a very good friend of the Death Goddess. If it weren't for King Ralathor recently helping to depose Baron Volroth of Tally and helping to control the other small outlying towns, they would all be at each other's throats right now. As it is, we have had peace for the last 30 some-odd years among the Lizardmen in Red Water Bay." Smiling, Cobalt leaves the Common Room and the Blue Frog Tavern.
Madame Toubow opens the back door of the Common Room (the one that exits into the alley) and enters slowly, like the hunched-over old woman that she is. The green skinned female gremlin named Grimsteel (wearing nothing more than a loincloth) enters next, grunting as she carries a heavy shoulder pack. Madame Toubow sits down in a chair behind a table nearest to the door and Grimsteel hefts the shoulder sack onto the table top. Martek seems stunned to see them. His mouth almost hangs open.
"That compensation you promised us was 300 platinum dragons to each person who returned to collect it, not 200!"
"Indeed it was, little one! Now form a line and you will receive it."
Tosal Thoth shakes his head, stands and then exits the room in disgust. One by one, 300 platinum dragons are counted out to each person.
Other treasure you have gained from this adventure includes:
He sneers and imitates Martek's cocky swagger (or perceived cocky swagger) all the way up to the bar, fondling his dagger (keep it clean, boys) and looking for a drink.
"Later, you old scrote. It's leisure time, the only thing I take more seriously than tearing you a new---" (sexy lady skeleton walks by) "...assss I was saying, can I show you my battle scars? I got a nasty one right here under my belt buckle..." Ad Nauseam. Fin.
Turning to Martek, Jax says "Hey, I've never been accused of being stoic. Every Orc deserves a good cry every now and then." Jax slaps himself on the forehead in disbelief and looks at his brother. "Did I say that out loud?"
Next in line for the loot, Jax addresses Madame Toubow. "So we meet again, old woman. Please don't take this the wrong way," Jax says as he receives his platinum, "but I hope we never meet again. And don't say something wry about time loops. I'm frakkin™ fed up with that!"
If nobody claims the suit of armor, Jax will take it, but he is quite satisfied with his 300 dragons. After all, he is...
...a Dracon.
The SniperOrc hefts his time-displaced over-and-under crossbow over his shoulder, and cautiously approaches Madame Toubow and Grimsteel. "Do they remember each loop of the time loops?" he wonders to himself.
"Madame, Grimsteel," Taran says in acknowledgement of their entrance. He receives his 300 platinum dragons somberly, as he can't help but think of how time has changed because of their actions in the past. Were he born in this dimension's Khazan, not in his native Trollworld, would his lineage have been affected? His parents taken different walks of life? His birth never to have occurred? He wonders this same thought on behalf of those who surely were eliminated from this time for the same reasons.
He tries to catch any facial expressions from the two females before him. After all, he'd killed Grimsteel once, if not more than once, and he'd never met Madame Toubow in person, but not for lack of trying. "What actions I did through the times now past.... I hope your memories of me are not too unpleasant." Taran bares his tusks in a half-smile and tries to look sincere despite his Orcish predisposition for rudeness.
Turning to his adventuring friends, he offers his thoughts on the treasure division. He doesn't even consider offering his new crossbow into the pot, but rather concentrates on the armor. "If it's all the same to you, I lost my shield in the swamp, so...." He eyes Domina especially, as she'd retrieved the shield from the castle. "Anybody have any designs on making this shield their own, besides me that is?" He bares his tusks possessively as he places a hand on the shield.
After collecting his pay, Bela approaches Taran, who is examining the shield on the table. "I believe this is yours. Next time you have a wizard backup, lend them this before things get rough and it may save your life." Bela offers to Taran the fabulous Serpent Power Totem. At a distance, it appears to be a rod, but up close, it is clearly a serpent shape. It is covered with runes and the serpent has many eyes---fifty, to be exact, three of which are closed. One of the runic lines reads, "Good for 50 uses, up to 20 STR at a time---use of this product implies agreement to terms of the licensing agreement printed on the wrapper." There is no wrapper to be found.
"If I find a way to return to my homeland, I would like for you and your brother to come visit. We have need of a positive example from your kind," Bela says. "Until then, do not hesitate to call on me. I will be establishing a business here in Khazan."
Speaking to the group in general, Bela adds, "I suggest we find a seller for the diamond and split the proceeds, with extra going to Domina as the one who took it. Just divide the sum by eight and give two portions to Domina." Turning to Domina, he asks, "What do you say?"
After the treasure-division is done, Bela pulls Martek aside and speaks quietly, "When you dispose of that dagger, this helm needs to go, too. Let me come with you and I will help you make sure the dragon helm is put out of action."
Taking his money, Jack de Crampon exits the common room and returns to the bar. As he does, a Bronze Age wood elf dressed in a very old Celtic style with tattoos opens the door and looks into the Common Room. Seeing everyone, he says "You're not the dancing girls! Oops, must be in the wrong tavern again. That's what I get for asking a Troll for directions." Smiling, he shuts the door.
Martek looks at Jax with a slight smirk. Jax approaches Madame Toubow and speaks to her. One eye sparkles as she looks up at the overly muscular Orc.
"I won't then." she answers. "But change does slip away too Jax!" she says ironically, handing Jax his last platinum dragon.
Finished, Jax takes his coins and the Dragon Armor and no one else says a word. Taran approaches Madame Toubow and speaks while collecting his coins.
"Memories are only unpleasant as you make them Taran," adds the old woman.
"Move along Orc punk, yer holden up line," she says, using her thumb to motion Taran along.
Taking his coins, Taran also takes the shield and returns to his brother's side.
Shipy approaches Madame Toubow last, waiting until she counts the last coin. When his last coin is counted, Jack the Barkeep bursts into the room and collects all but three of the Hobbit's coins.
"That should about cover your bill, Ship-pee!" smiling, he exits the room in a Spencer-like manner.
"Ah Frak™, Jack, give it back!" The rhyme goes unnoticed, as does the Hobbit's droopy expression. Shipy collects his three coins.
"Didn't you hit on me once and ask me to dance, Hobbit?" asks the Gremlin, looking closely at the surprised Hobbit.
Shipy looks at the others in the room and then back to Grimsteel. "No I never asked you to dance." Shaking his head. "I said you looked fat in those pants!" Unhappy, the Hobbit goes over and sits beside Taran, looking at the brothers' bulging pouches. The Hobbit suddenly smiles widely as only a Hobbit can.
The gremlin shows her teeth but says nothing else.
"Agreed!" Domina pushes the diamond into her cleavage.
"I knew you'd understand, Bela!" Martek and Bela leave the Common Room and cross the bar. As they pass Jack De Crampon seated at the bar, Martek says, "You keep it safe now, you hear?" Martek and Bela exit the bar and disappear into the crowed streets of Khazan.
Thus ends the T&T® adventure "Lizardmen in Red Water Bay." I hope everyone had fun! I sure did.
Adventure Points for Player Characters:
Roll credits. Play theme music.
(But wait! There's more! Here's Shipy and Bela's excellent denouement!)
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This page updated: Mon Jan 09 14:22:24 2006
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