A Gamma World® play-by-post adventure run by gammaworld_gm
Howard's bills do indeed clatter nervously with Geo's saying that he'd need frequent flier miles or some such. He only takes Geo seriously out of sheer panic. His relief is evident when Geo agrees to take him to Elephant Butte and he gives Twoducks a feathered "thumbsth up."
After all report in on whether or not they'll be heading out in the XJ1, Howard quickly gathers his possessions up from the Starport and packs himself and his things up on the ship. "Jonn," he tells his human friend privately as they prep the ship for flight, "let'sth have a pow-wow en route, eh? I'll not be at the Butte forever, and thisth trip you're taking to Haven worriesth me. It stheemsth like a long time ago that you buzzthed me up for a sthecret missthion to the Factory for NARC, and now here you are about to make NARC'sth lasth sthand?!"
Jonn nods to his indigo-topped, time-displaced (in name) friend. The flight time isn't lengthy, but he can see the concern on Howard's downy face through the anxiety and shakes he's experiencing from the demands of his Duckoid physiology. He's glad for Howard's concern, if only because it hints that he's not leaving Jonn's company for good.
Katkin stands next to the cryo chamber stunned. "In the short time that I knew her, I came to like her."
"RRRRRRROWWWWWWWR!" Katkin's cry of rage echoes through the hallways of the long dead installation.
I'm not slacking as G1/G5 GM.
Really, am not! My Muses' fax machine has broken! I sprained my thumb on the spacebar! I just became a parent! (What... I can't use that one still?)
Ah, well. The plot is slowly materializing (yes there is a plot), true-believers. Hang in there (all two of you).
To bide the time, let's have a little fun from the NARChives:
The first person to answer all of these correctly will not see his/her character die in the next post. Heheh.
"Don't worry Howard, if the XJ1 doesn't get you to Elephant Butte in time for mating season, you always have Twoducks. One of you two are female, right?" I elbow Howard humorously. <beep, beep> I always wanted to say that!"
I'm officially turning over "The Starport Adventure (G5)" and "The San Matoe Mountain Fight (G8)" group over to my obedient and trusted underling and co-GM. I'm sure he can whip the overlooked groups back into shape in no time as I exit stage left. As I've always told him in the past, make it look like you know what you're doing and they'll never know the difference. No one really knows what's going on anyway except the NARChivist. Who is he anyway?
Ok, I'll give it a shot. And I'm not even referencing the NARChives. This is straight from my gammaMemory:
Preserve and restore the technology of the Ancients. After all, NARC does stand for New Albuquerque Restorationist Club. Or is it Neo-Alpha Rip-roarin' Commies? I always forget.
Another time, another place. I think it's called NPCland.
Hmm. Xervian, aka Kasteen the lizard "I don't wear clothes" woman?
That would be the Warbot. Of course, everybody blames Howard. <sigh>
If I told you, I'd have to kill you! Shame on you for discussing such top secret stuff.
Hmm. Hmm. Accessing.... Ok, if I had to guess, it would probably be Kicker.
Two.
Ack. I have no idea. The word that comes to mind is "Crikey."
"What are you, chicken?"
"Yes, I say, I say what did you think I was? A porcupine? Buk buk buk! That reminds me of a time back at the factory when I was negotiating with the aliens' mysterious leaders, the Brain Balls. They've got a lot of brains, and they've got a lot of chutzpah too."
Sleep with as many women as possible.
From the wall behind the skyscraper.
The lizard lady, the Gren, and me.
Me really.
That's easy, it's a grav car [sic] part.
Jonn.
Two, but more if they are diced into small pieces.
Level six, Area B.
I'm a fraud---a poor, lazy, sexy fraud.
Ok, I accept the promotion, Jim. For my first act as sole GM, I will answer the trivia questions all 2 of you true-believers (see, I was right) have attempted:
Preserve and restore the technology of the Ancients.
Sleep with as many women as possible.
Answer: The New Albuquerque Restorationist Club's prime directive is neutrality: don't meddle with the power balance in the Wasteland. It's pretty much useless now that it's almost a sure bet that Timon will find out about them and squash them like a mutant bug on a grav-car's windshield.
Analysis: Well, gammaben, you state NARC's purpose, which is, more specifically, to see Albuquerque restored to its former glory. I'll give it to you though. Cpt_leghorn, you must have NARC confused with the Neo-Alpha Rip-roarin' Commies. Bomp.
Another time, another place. I think it's called NPCland.
From the wall behind the skyscraper.
Answer: Doc. T. is from Royal Street, French Quarter, New Orleans, Louisiana, USA, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Local Group.... 1895 in your frame of reference.
Analysis: I'll give this one to you gammaben, just for being a funny mutant. Cpt_leghorn, I can't even pretend to understand your convoluted answer. Bomp.
Xervian, aka Kasteen the lizard "I don't wear clothes" woman?
The lizard lady, the Gren, and me.
Answer: The rumor is that Jonn had an affair with Bess Saint, his good friend Abe's wife back in Haven. The rumor is false, of course.
Analysis: OK, Xervian did start the rumor, so I'll give it to you, gammaben. Jonn and Xervian's tangled history will become apparent at a later date. Cpt_leghorn, you would have also gotten this one had you not added the other two. It's common knowledge that Lamia and Jonn are an item; ask Geo and he can play back 15 minutes and 3 seconds of "proof." As for Leghorn, he may have Jonn's trust and respect (though God knows why), but that hardly makes Leghorn a romantic interest! Bomp.
That would be the Warbot. Of course, everybody blames Howard.
Me really.
Answer: T-Rex the Warbot made a fine red mist of Petey for making a sudden move at the Oad-Ck-Factory showdown between Timon's gang and Jonn's gang.
Analysis: Gammaben is right. Nice try, cpt_leghorn. Bomp. Leghorn was only responsible for programming the Warbot to obliterate dozens of Timon's thugs, standing en masse outside the factory fence. Of course, kudos for starting the rumor that Howard actually did that: pure genius, dude. But bomp nevertheless. Howard gets blamed for many things, including cavorting around with far too many guns and ammo as is Duckoidly possible, but he was not responsible for Petey's death, nor the nuking of Area 61 (Jake's cyber-son Joshua did that!).
If I told you, I'd have to kill you!
That's easy, it's a grav car [sic] part.
Answer: The carkron mobile emitter is a necessary component of grav-cars. The grav-car limo in which Jonn et al. made their getaway after the Petey fiasco broke down in the tunnel below the Starport entrance because this contraption burned out. Someone must have replaced it (and its defective grav calibrator unit) however, and made off with it, for when Liara entered the Starport through this same entrance, the limo was not there, even though the other nonfunctional grav-cars were mentioned.
Analysis: Very well, I'll give you that to both of you. No wait, cpt_leghorn, you forgot the hyphen in "grav-car"! Bomp.
Kicker.
Jonn.
Answer: Mute, the intelligent pulse rifle---and the most powerful weapon in the game---called his reluctant Cougaroid bearer Brimstone "Blue Warrior." Brimstone inexplicably jumped ship with Mute in hand as Jonn's crew was making their escape from Datil. Bonus trivia: Jonn was called "Red Elf."
Analysis: Close, gammaben; since Kicker was Brimstone's unrequited love, I'll give it to you. Cpt_leghorn, Jonn was not Brimstone's love interest, unrequited or otherwise (and if he was, ol' Brimmie never let on), so sorry, cpt_leghorn, that's a big bomp.
Two.
Two, but more if they are diced into small pieces.
Answer: Bayla, Frieda's envirobot, has never been seen by any other character in the game, but has played a vital role nevertheless. Frieda mentions its PSH capacity of two during Jonn's hormone-induced and highly misguided proposal to keep her from leaving.
Analysis: Ding-ding, gammaben! Cpt_leghorn, there shall be no dicing of PSHs into small pieces in this club. At least not yet. Just for that outrageous appendix to your answer, you get a bomp.
"Crikey."
Level six, Area B.
Answer: Geo wishes he could play basketball on Level 6 of the Starport, right above the medical level.
Analysis: Crikey is my favorite word! I'll give it to you, gammaben for answering the hidden question. Cpt_leghorn, sorry, you missed the trick question. Bomp.
Trivia Results: gammaben = 8, cpt_leghorn = 0.
So, gammaben, for answering all eight questions correctly, your character, Howard Dodgers of the 23rd and a Half Century, will survive in the next post, even if he isn't mentioned.
And, cpt_leghorn.... It's OK, my friend. Have a seat. For answering no question correctly, your character's fate in the next post will not be known ahead of time, though it is entirely possible that Rhyn will kick you in the chutzpah. :)
Jonn leads those who are leaving the Starport (Jake, Kicker, Lamia, Geo, Capt. Leghorn, Rhyn, Howard and Twoducks) toward the elevators. Jake calls out, "Uh, wait up Duke, I forgot something," and dashes back toward his room. So Jonn halts the group just outside the Tavern.
Those who stay behind (Ironcat, Stramagix, Rev. Bunyun, Dr. Templeton, Penny, Raggy and Little Bit) will be kept posted on the goings-on via Gallus 5/13's satellite linkups to Geo and Haven. Geo has left the bar in the able duralloy hands of his stand-in, the robot bartender KJ-130. Unfortunately for you slackers, KJ's humor subroutines are about as stale as the pretzels he will try to unload on you.
As he leads Liara and Mee'sss down the wide corridor toward the Starport Tavern, Mycinod's mushroom mouth opens wide with the PSH fem's words:
"I'm looking for my sister Liska. We were to meet here a week ago. Do you know about her?"
"Do I? I saw her die! Well, nearly. Some sniper exploded her chest like a blood sausage, but T3 patched her right up aboard the XJ1. I just came from there. She's in recovery. After I see what Jonn's up to I'll---well, there he is!" Rounding the bend, he sees the entrance to the Starport Tavern, and hanging out close by is a motley group of humans, humanoids, mutants and Captain Leghorn.
"Well if it ain't my protégé!"
After the introductions, Jonn explains to Mycinod, Liara and Mee'sss what is soon to go down in Haven, and Mycinod, being the world's most heroic Fun-gi readily signs on. Liara is a bit hesitant about the danger involved in accompanying Jonn and his gang, but she agrees to follow him to the ship, if only to see her sister.
"If it'sss all the sssame to you'sss, Liara, I will ssstay down here. Danger'sss and ssstarssshipsss give me the ssshiversss!"
Jake soon shows up, toting the lifeless husk of a T3 medical droid. "Geo had an extra and sent it down to my room this morning," he says, as if it explains anything. If anyone harbors thoughts about Jake's apparent dead robot fetish (remember the sexbot?), s/he doesn't air them.
"Let's bust a move, people."
Jonn's group departs, squeezing (just barely) into the high-speed elevator to Level 17/Starport Hangar.
This thread is continued in the next post. No actions are needed yet, unless you want to provoke the fowl, step on Kicker's tail, or complain about Rhyn's quills pricking you on the way up....
At the same time the first elevator departs, the other elevator opens onto Level 3/Tavern. A grizzled young man and his mangy mutt walk out.
"Hmm, I smell a female, Chuck. Whoa, several of them. Close your mouth, Chuck: we are not a codfish. Oh, I am so hungry. I wonder if that bar ahead has popcorn?"
As you (Chuck) stand agape and salivating at your dog's announcement, you notice the other elevator display swiftly counting up 10... 11... 12. The gaudy neon Tavern signs ahead beckon you. What do you do?
Group G5 has merged into G1. Here is the full group status, including NPCs in italics:
Group G2 (the Starport Tavern) is a non-poster purgatory of sorts. These characters can reenter the game at any time. Just post something.
Jonn's entourage emerges onto the hangar floor seconds after the high-speed elevator began its ascent. Geo's clean-up crew is escorting Liska Ironclaw and her T3 savior from the XJ1 in a mag-lev stretcher. Frieda oversees their departure from the XJ1's cargo bay door and waves at your approach.
"Say, you ever figure out what the '%' button on this inbred calculator does?" The robot fiddles with the controls on the high-tech stretcher as he steers it toward the elevators which you have left.
"Last I heard, some Duckoid nuked Area 61 by pressing a similar button. Click. Sploosh. Well, speak of the devil...."
"Silence, silicon scum! It's another PSH!"
Liara immediately runs to her sister's side when she spots her. The rest of you crowd around, offering your hearty congratulations and well wishes to your former companion.
"Space, people! It's not only the final frontier, it's what Liska needs right now! Listen up, she'll be fine, but she needs to rest for the next month, or else the sutures will snap." T3 makes a delightful sucking and popping sound with its synthbox, no doubt sampled from a previous patient. It's enough to convince the rest of you, sans Liara, Jonn and Geo, to continue on toward Frieda and into the XJ1.
"Liara, why don't you stay at the 'port with your sister, where it's safe?" Jonn offers.
"Excellent!" T3 interrupts before she can answer. "We shall have much fun. Are you as knowledgeable in your letters as Liska here? Ah, I have just the quote for the occasion. Ahem, you may recognize this, Liska:
It is just as much a matter of chance that I am still alive as that I might have been hit. In a bomb-proof dug-out I may be smashed to atoms and in the open may survive ten hour's bombardment unscratched. No soldier outlives a thousand chances. But every soldier believes in Chance and trusts his luck.
"Pretty Remarque-able, no? Ha-ha-ha. 'Smashed to atoms'---I love it!"
Geo watches silently as T3 leads the robot janitors and the Ironclaws off to the elevators, and ultimately to Starport Level 5/Medical. Only Geo catches the grave significance of T3's words. They seem to hang in the heavy hangar air like snowflakes frozen in time. Indeed, if Haven falls, the Starport would be next. He cannot allow that possibility. Although he doesn't believe in Chance or luck (all things must have their own mathematical probability) the next best thing is the PSH standing by his side. The guy just wouldn't die, and with him, NARC has a chance, and so likewise his beloved Starport.
"Ready to rock'n'roll, Tin-head?" Jonn says, interrupting Geo's thought processes.
Here is the full group status, including NPCs in italics:
Group G3 (Starport Level 5/Medical) won't see much action for now, as it would mostly consist of two sisters chatting and ignoring an overly eager medical robot who thinks he's the last depository of the Ancients' literary genius (Fahrenheit 451, anybody?).
"Ow! I say ow! I just got pricked by the quill girl. This is turning into one very sexy struggle for the Roosteroid race. This Starport is kind of like a castle King Arthur would have lived in... if he were a mtutant fiddler crab with a metal shell." "Are you all right Kicker? Aw, poor baby, chipped a fang?"
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
"Hey, you know what'd cheer you up Kicker? You should get yourself a puppy."
"A puppy? I love to eat puppies!"
"I love every living creature too. Just make sure you cook it first."
"Waugh!"
I look at Howard. "Is the desire to mate a feeling?"
He nods.
"It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast. Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material."
Feeling as if he is has been shuffled around like a cheep deck of cards, the parasitic Roosteroid makes his way to the captain's chair and sits in it.
I'm telling you, those GM trivia questions were fixed. I want an inquiry right now! I demand one! What relationship does gammaben have to the GM? Is gammaben female? If so, name and phone number, please. Questions need to be answered. Is a perfect zero score good or bad?
South Street Spaceport: All you can eat, plus a whole chicken.
Entering the XJ1, I head to the bridge in a fowl programming mood only to find the Roosteroid sitting in the captain's chair. "Get a load of ball bearings on this guy, is he dumb or just ugly, taking the captain's seat? Hell hath no fury like the vast robot gamma-powered mechanical armies. Like the laws of science, the captain's chair be a harsh mistress."
Captain Leghorn looks at Geo standing beside his chair on the bridge. "Robots are very good at keeping secrets aren't they, G?"
"No, we're not, you little bed-wetter. Oops, I'm sorry."
"No one is supposed to know about that. If anyone asks, I'll deny it."
"Just like every other creature you've dated."
After placing Warrr'a in the cryo tube and preserving her "just-dead" state for all time, you look at each other gravely. Leela senses a flood of emotions from her comrades: confusion, anger at Warrr'a's senseless death, frustration.... The shotgun and shells Jonathan left behind earlier suddenly seem more valuable.
Many questions remain in your minds: What is this place? If it's a nuclear test facility, why are there so many rations and barrels of chemicals stored in the big domed room? Are there more Obbs? More Unit Zeds? How could Leela sense hostility from that robot? Who/what is Tempest and what is his/her/its mission?
Your group faces the same choices as before: continue to explore the complex (via the heavy blast door leading to where you saw Tempest), climb up next to the ceiling (60' up), or exit the complex entirely by the route Katkin and Warrr'a used to enter it.
As you ponder your options, Warrr'a's father's words come to mind unbidden: "You run on the wheel, but you still get nowhere."
After checking to make sure the Unit Zed is incapacitated, you (Tempest) continue on your way toward the large blast door that the humans and Felinoid took at the corridor's end. If your information is correct, there should be a large room beyond, and close by lies your quarry. Finding it is another matter altogether, you remind yourself. You vow that this installation will reveal its secrets to you, even if you have to tear it apart atom by atom.
"It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast. Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material."
"I am not activethly looking for a female Duckoid, my dear Capthain. Sthincthe you asthked, anyway." Howard straightens up as only a diminuitive Duckoid can. "I head to Elephant Butte not in sthearch of a mate; rather, I have a date tho keep!" With that, Howard harumphs his way past the Roosteroid when the elevator stops and opens its doors, and hurries on toward the ship.
Before entering, he turns back to Leghorn. "Fall in love stho fasth, eh? Maybe in the thwenty-fifth cthenthury the typical Fowloid sthuch asth yoursthelf doesthn't need love. But two hundred yearsth ago..." Howard thumbs himself in the breast, then stops, mouth agape. He suddenly squints at Leghorn as if tricked into talking about something. He peers around quickly, noting the curious stares from those within earshot.
"Well, that'sth another sthory." Howard tilts his head slightly, clamps his bills together tightly, and boards the XJ1.
"Two hundred yearsth ago? Waugh!"
The human raises an eyebrow. He searches his memories. In all his years of knowing Howard, he never got a straight answer from Howard about his curious extended appelation. He wonders if Howard is putting on an act to keep Leghorn on his toes (or at least what passes for toes on a Roosteroid), or if Howard is actually serious?
Two hundred years ago? Waugh! What the frak is Howard talking about? <insert sinister music> DUHN-DUHN-DUHN!
I failed to mention it earlier, but when Howard cleaned out his locker, so to speak, as he packed his gear, he retrieved into his possessions the grav-car power cell and 30 feet of poly-neptic cable he'd stashed at the Starport.
Is gammaben female? If so, name and phone number, please.
I graciously accept the title of supreme gamma trivia winner. I also very emphatically state with high levels of testosteone that gammaben is not female. But he did dress up as one for his 7th grade Halloween party, and damn was he good lookin', beauty mole and all. Phone number: 867-5309 ("I got it, I got it, I got I got it, I got your number on the wall! I got it, I got it, I got I got it, for a good time, for a good time call....")
"Liska, it's so good to see you again, sis. But... I have... I have to leave. I'm going back to Settle (a.k.a Seattle). Got a job to finish there. I love you, sis, but I really have to get moving." She stays with her sister for a day and then leaves for Settle.
In other words, I'm no longer running this character.
"But... but.... Well Liara, I understand. Good luck." Liska is more then a little sad to see her sister leave, but she knows she can't do anything about it.
Rhyn stands on the ship's bridge, calmly looking all around it and trying to figure out what all of the shit does.
its the end of the world as we know it hehehe
"Shut up! Shut up, please!"
I join Howard on his way to the ship, intent to follow him on his quest to Elephant Butte.
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