TITLE: Real World
Xander woke up slowly his mind not registering the fact that he didn't need to get up. Well, he should get up and look for a new job, but he didn't have a job that required him to get up at the ungodly hour of... twelve in the afternoon.
"Ow, my head." Xander said as he made the slight gesture to look at his alarm clock.
"That's it I'm never drinking again." Xander said as he forced himself out of bed and over to his small kitchenette. He grabbed what looked like the cleanest bowl and poured himself some Cap'n Crunch cereal. He got up to get his milk when he saw that his bedside lamp was on.
"Wonder why that's on?" Xander said out loud.
Then the events of the night before hit him. He remembered walking home and waiting for any vamp or demon to end his misery. He remembered Spike being nice to him and catching him when he almost fell. He remembered Spike kissing him and the passion that he kissed Spike back with.
He remembered puking, almost in Spike's mouth. He remembered Spike carrying him to his bed and the details after that were fuzzy. Then he remembered the Higher Being Pinocchio guardian angel looking lady in his room telling him that he was going to receive some sort of mystical power.
"You really to lay off the sauce, Xan-Man." Xander muttered to himself. He made an attempt to walk over to his lamp, but his head pounded louder in his ears. He let out a groan.
God, I wish that lamp would just turn off on it's own. Xander thought.
Suddenly the light flickered slightly before turning off with a zipping noise. "Huh, power must have shorted." Xander said shrugging and going back to his meal of champions. He made short work of walking to the fridge for milk, poured it on his cereal and began to chomp happily or as happy as one could be with a hangover, no job or girlfriend and his friends at school.
When he finished his cereal he rinsed the bowl and put it in the sink. He dropped the milk back in the refrigerator and plopped down on his bed. He had a good five hours before the next Scooby meeting he would attended only to be around people. He needed to get rid of his headache though.
Man do I wish I kept the aspirin in my bedside table or better yet in my hand. Yeah I wish I didn't have to make that long trip to the bathroom to swallow those bitter tasting pills. I just wish they were here.
Xander felt something plastic plop down near his hand and heard the tap the plastic made when it touched his skin. Xander lifted his head slightly to see the bottle of Tylenol that was usually in his bathroom cabinet next to his hand.
"What the fuck!?" Xander said loudly.
"Oh my God, how did that get here?" Xander asked to no one in particular.
Gotta get to Giles. Yeah G-man will know what's going on here. Just get dressed and go to Giles.
Xander thought as he began to put on his jeans from last night. Suddenly the room began to shift and Xander held his head at the extra dizziness it was causing. He closed his eyes to the nauseating swirling.
When the swirling stopped he opened his eyes to see that he was no longer in his room. He was in Giles's room. Giles's room that currently had two people in the bed with the blanket completely covering them making mysterious moaning noises that sound a lot like...
"Gah! Okay what the hell is going on!?" Xander screamed gaining him a frightened shriek from whoever was in the bed and a bloody hell. Giles turned from what he was doing to see Xander standing there, his jeans half way pulled up and a bottle of aspirin in his hand.
"Xander! Can you explain why you are in my bedroom at this moment!?" Giles yelled.
"Would you believe me if I said I'm just as clueless as you?" Xander asked with a tentative smile on his face.
"Okay Giles what was so important that I had to skip one of my classes and come here immediately?" Buffy asked irritation clearly in her voice.
"I'm too traumatized to explain." Xander said rushing to the bathroom for another round of dry heaves.
"Okay what's up with him?" Buffy said pointing in the direction Xander had run off into.
"He saw Giles and Olivia doing... it." Willow answered.
"WHAT! Oh god bad images!" Buffy said putting her hands over her eyes.
"Well, I'm not exactly thrilled by the fact that Xander walked in on me... and my lady friend." Giles said.
"Where is Olivia?" Buffy asked.
"She took off a little bit before I got here. Obviously she was too embarrassed to stick around." Willow said.
"How did Xander walk in on you. I mean there had to be... sounds... oh god I can't believe I just said that. Xander hurry up in there I have to hurl!" Buffy said.
"Well, apparently he didn't walk in on me. He... teleported." Giles said taking off his glasses and began cleaning them profusely.
"Wait, Xander can't do that." Buffy said. "Hence the important come here immediately message." Willow said.
"Okay I'm confused." Buffy said plopping down on the couch.
"You're not the only one." Willow said.
"So, Xander teleported into your room while you were... um... busy and now we have to research or what?" Buffy said.
"Well, it's slightly hard to figure out where to start. Xander said the only thing he remembered before he teleported in while I was... busy... was that he was thinking that he to see me." Giles said.
"Could have picked a better time." Buffy said.
"Yes... well... um... so we have to pinpoint exactly how Xander came to acquire this interesting new power." Giles said.
"Any other things Xander could tell us after he's done in the bathroom. Like what kind of demon or whatever gave him the power to walk in on old people when they're... going at it." Buffy said.
"Thank you for your eloquence, Buffy, but he hasn't said much of anything since he got here. I suspect that he's dizzy from teleporting and his clothes reek of alcohol so he's most likely hungover. He just keeps looking at me and runs off to the bathroom." Giles said.
"Yeah he almost didn't make it one time. Almost puked all over the floor. Not a pretty sight to see." Willow said.
"Okay so puking aside what are we looking for?" Buffy said.
"A Higher Being that calls herself Natalie." Everyone turned around to see Xander holding the wall for support. "Are you sure it was a Higher Being? Could it have been a demon?" Giles asked.
"I guess. She told me that the Powers that Be have been watching me every since I started to help Buffy fight the demons and that I've been veered off course. Said she was going to give me some power to help me get back on track. Have an edge on the demons." Xander said.
"Giles are these Higher Being guys bad news or what?" Buffy asked.
"Actually they're good. They fight on the side of good. They're immortal powerful demons or special people with supernatural abilities that even the balance between good and evil." Giles said.
"So they're good guys. Not bad guys. Guys that gave Xander some power that could vary from pencil floating to end of the world type stuff." Willow said.
"It would appear so. What they want with Xander is unknown, but they usually have their reasons." Giles said.
"So what the fairy lady said was true. I actually have some power and it was just an alcohol induced hallucination." Xander said.
"It would appear so. Although I'll have to check with... a contact of mine, but it seems that way. As for the alcohol," Giles started with that parental tone that had a hint of Ripper mixed in.
"So never doing that again. Drowning in my sorrows doesn't suit me. I mean I..." Xander was about to say 'kissed Spike' but thought that little tid-bit should be kept secret until the end of time.
"Got a massive hangover. My head hurts like hell. Maybe I should go home and lie down." Xander said.
"Well, serves you right for drinking. Beer bad remember." Buffy said.
"Yeah, well, when you're feeling down beer seems like the drink of the Gods." Xander said.
"Take it from someone that knows the horrible side effects of beer. It's bad." Buffy said.
"Yeah remember the little dancing spell kick I went on after Oz left. Beer bad." Willow said.
"Yeah I get that now. But really I'm feeling a little nauseous. I don't know why though. I think I puked yesterday's lunch." Xander said.
"Well, it could be a side effect from the teleporting. You're not used to it yet so it's only reasonable that you'd feel dizzy. Go home and get some rest." Giles said.
"Sure thing G-man."
Xander wasn't exactly sure what he was doing in front of Spike's crypt. He had every intention of going back to his lonely basement and sleeping his hangover off, but his feet had other ideas. Yes, Xander remembered what the kiss felt like and being a red blood American male and a very big heterosexual denied that it was good.
He had been drunk and any man would do something that crazy when they were drunk. Drunk, lonely and depressed and Xander had been all those things last night. He was vulnerable and would have kissed anybody that had been nice to him.
Which brought Xander to another point. Why had Spike acted so nice to him last night? Instead of making fun of him he had actually tried to cheer Xander up. He was really gentle with Xander when he was carrying Xander. Gentle was not a word he'd use to describe the vampire before last night. Ruthless, killing machine was more accurate. Xander let out a small sigh and then opened the door.
"Spike, are you here?" Xander yelled. When he got no answer he was almost inclined to panic, but realized that panicking over someone who you were supposed to hate didn't bode well with his denial.
"Spike where are you?" Xander tried again. Xander's eyes caught sight of the large sarcophagus in the middle of the room.
"Oh please God don't let him be in there. That's just... disturbing." Xander walked over to the sarcophagus and lifted the lid.
"Nope, no Spike here. But then where could he be?" Xander said.
"Looking for me pet." Xander jumped and shrieked at the voice.
"God, Spike don't sneak up on a guy in a crypt. Are you trying you damnedest to give me a heart attack." Xander said turning around to see Spike standing in front of what appeared to be an entrance to the sewers.
"Last I checked this was my crypt. Can sneak up on anyone I want in my home." Spike said jumping onto the sarcophagus as he lit a cigarette.
"Yeah well that doesn't mean I can't go into cardiac arrest over it." Xander said his hand still on his chest as he tried to calm himself.
"What'd you want, Harris?" Spike asked after he took a long drag on his cigarette. He knew this was going to happen.
Hell, he'd planned for it hours in advance. He knew exactly what he was going to say when the whelp came to his crypt spouting of his 'I'm a good little boy and you took advantage' nonsense. He'd be cruel and vicious and say things that would make the boy even more disgusted with him. Maybe then he'd get some rest. Maybe then he'd realize that he'd never get Xander even if he tried his hardest to seduce the boy.
"Um... well... okay I don't really know how to say this..."
"You've come to yell at me for last night." Spike said with an all-knowing look of satisfaction on his face that Xander wanted to smack off.
"No that was as much my fault as it was yours. Okay I can't believe I said that." Xander said.
"Neither can I. Sure you're feelin' alright."
"No, no I'm not sure I'm feeling alright. Last night... well last night I was just regular old Xander Harris and today I'm... look the kiss, it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean I've kissed a guy before... okay so that's not the issue, but I mean it's no big deal. I was drunk and drunken people do crazy things. Really crazy things." Xander said.
"You tryin' to convince me or yourself." Spike asked.
"Both actually. I mean I'm not entirely convinced myself. It was a... well it was a good kiss and all, but... something that good can't be you know good for you." Xander said.
"Why not. I mean if it was so good then why is it not good for you?" Spike asked wondering what Xander was playing at.
Should have been easy for the boy to say 'stay the hell away from me' and that would be the end of it. Instead he was skirting around the edges and never really getting his point across.
"Because you know everything always ends badly. One minute you're up then you're down. That's life on the Hellmouth." Xander said.
"And this 'as nothin' to do wif' that fact that 'm a vampire and a male one at that." Spike said.
"Well, yeah after getting over that initial nothing good can ever come of life. You're a vampire Spike, but more then that you're a guy vampire. Two things that do not equal good. Mix that with my new pessimistic attitude and you've got three reasons why the kiss has to mean nothing. You know three strikes you're out." Xander said nervously.
"So what you're sayin' is that you don't wanna have anythin' to do wif' me an' that 'm a disgustin' vampire." Spike said hoping the boy would take the hint and just say what needed to be said.
"God, Spike, put words in my mouth why don't you. Yeah okay I don't want to ever think of you that way again and yeah we were pretty much bitter enemies up until my world did a total turnaround and yeah I'm just pretty messed up right now and looking for someone to care and yeah I'm not making any sense right now because I'm babbling more then Willow ever babbled in her life, but I'm not saying that you're disgusting." Xander said.
"What are you sayin'?" Spike asked.
"Would you believe me if I said I had no idea?" Xander said.
"Why'd you come 'ere then." Spike said. "Would you believe me if I said I had no idea?" Xander said again.
"So, you expect me to take a leap 'f faith an' act like you aren't 'ere for a reason?" Spike said.
"Pretty much. Look I don't know I was walking around just mindlessly drifting thinking that it'd be a good idea to go back home and sleep of this terrible headache I have and somehow I ended up here. Maybe it was to yell at you. Maybe it was to tell you that I think you're disgusting and that you should just stay away from me because I've got the Slayer on my side and you don't wanna mess with her. Maybe it was because I was wondering why you were being so nice to me last night. Whatever the reason I found myself in front of your crypt with a very disturbing urge to go inside and see if you were here." Xander said.
There was silence in the crypt for a good ten minutes before Xander spoke again.
"Why were you nice to me? Is it part of one of your hair brain schemes to kill Buffy?" Xander asked.
"Honestly, I don't know. You looked miserable enough wifout me calling you a ponce." Spike said getting as close to the truth as he could.
"So there's no other reason then that. Not in it to jerk my chain or anything. Just genuine mass murderer concern." Xander said with a note of suspicion in his voice.
"No, I was avin' an of night. Drank too much I guess." Spike said.
"Okay 'cause I don't want to wake up to find a horse head in my bed." Xander said.
Off of Spike's deadpan look he added, "Okay so not a Godfather lover. Listen I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell the others about this. They'd sorta freak and considering we both agree that it was just a crazy fluke it's not worth mention. We do both believe it was just a crazy fluke right?" Xander asked.
"What if I said I didn't think it was." Spike said.
"Spike, it had to have been. I mean I know you're a crazed vampire, but this can't work on your behalf unless you're going to make me buy you blood every week for the rest of forever." Xander said.
"What if I said I wanted another taste." Spike said jumping off of the sarcophagus and walking slowly over to Xander with that predator look in his eye.
"But why would you want that? I mean no Spike, please let's just let this be a drunken mistake and forget about it." Xander said.
"Suit yourself, whelp." Spike said straightening up and looking disinterested.
"Really? So no extortion or blackmail necessary. Wow are you sure you aren't havin' an off week?" Xander said cursing himself for questioning Spike's attitude.
"You said it yourself whelp. What do I get out of it? Nothin' but more bad criticism. Not only can I not bite, but also I'd be traipsing around with the likes of you. I got an image to uphold." Spike said indifferently.
You're a stupid git. There he is standing right in front of you gulping and breathing hard and you can't even seduce him properly. Spike wasn't sure if it was the demon are himself that felt that way, but he'd bet it was a little bit of both.
Xander looked needy. He always looked needy, but more so then usual. Needy and a bit confused about whatever it was that was going on in that head of his.
"Yeah I guess you're right or am I right because I said it first. Whatever it doesn't matter. I just want to forget this happened and I can't do that if you're bringing up. So we agreed no bringing it up. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get home and sleep this headache off. Home is good. Just gotta get..." Xander never finished his sentence.
The same dizzy feeling he had experienced when he had teleported to Giles's overcame him and he was suddenly in his basement on his bed and had fallen asleep immediately.
Spike stood in the middle of the crypt and stared at the spot where Xander used to be standing. A weird looking gray mist enveloped Xander and dissipated to show no more Xander. Spike looked around and scratched his head in confusion.
"What the bloody hell just happened?"