Cavemen Always Win

Cavemen Always Win


Chapter 13:

Spike’s POV

I wake up to the sound of crying.

Real crying and it sounds like it’s coming from a kid. A small one too. It’s then that I notice that I’m not wrapped up in a nice, warm, Liam-shaped blanket and am in fact lying naked under Angel’s poofy comforter.

I open one eye and see him.

He’s about four, maybe five. Big brown eyes and tons of wild hair and just enough feature wise that I know this is another one of those stupid phase things the Powers are making us jump through.

He looks scared, bottom lip quivering just a bit and I guess if you’re that age and taken away from your parents you would be scared. He’s dressed, and that’s a relief because I would want to be in bed, naked with an equally naked little kid. That’s just wrong.

Of course not as wrong as what the Powers are doing, but I’m willing to let it slid in favor of getting the crying to stop.

“Hey ducks.” I say.

His eyes get bigger, lips quivers a bit more and he pulls his knees up to his chest.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” I say.

It sounds funny to my ears because once upon a time, vamp like me, would’ve killed him in a heart beat. But I’ve changed and this is Angel we’re talking about. Even if it is a pint sized version.

His eyes me curiously for a bit, eyes still wide and opens his mouth.

“Where’s my mum.” He says, words a bit choppy and messed up sounding in only the way a kid that young could manage.

He’s utterly frightened and I want to comfort him a bit, but what can I say? I can’t very well tell him about what’s going on. He wouldn’t understand and he’d still be asking for his mum.

“She’s gone.”

“Where’d she go?” He asks, voice low and scared.

“Away… for a bit. You’ll go back to her soon enough.”

“I wanna go back to her now.”

I resist the urge to snap at him because he’s just a kid and instead I sigh.

“Well, you can’t… not right now. But I know of a few people who can get you back to her soon enough.”

He studies me in that inquisitive way kids do before he shakes his head, very slowly and deliberately like he trusts me, but that trust only goes so far.

“Great. Just a sec.” I say.

He doesn’t look like he understands what I mean by that, but sits there anyway. I pull some of my clothes off from the ground and try to get dressed without actually getting up. I may not have much shame, but this is a little kid after all.

After I’m done, clothes straightened out as much as they can be considering I’m wearing Angel’s shirt and my pants. It looks ridiculous, but I’ll settle for it. I stand up and reach my hand out to the kid.

He looks at it curiously, before he scrambles up to stand on the bed and practically launches himself onto me.

I can already tell this is going to be a long day.

“Cordelia. Cordelia get your ass down here.” Fred yells.

After making a bunch of cooing sounds at mini Angel, all of which he seemed to like, she had decided that the Powers weren’t checking in soon enough. Mini Angel had already cried twice for his mum and practically went catatonic upon seeing Lorne.

Not that I could blame the little guy. Big Green would be scary to anyone at that age.

He feel asleep a few minutes ago and is now drooling on Angel’s shirt, head resting on my shoulder and he really hasn’t let go since we used the elevator to go to the office level of the building.

I should probably be pissed. I’m by no means cute and fluffy, but he seems to think so. Fred had mentioned something about separation anxiety and how when someone has that, they latch on to the first person around. Or maybe it was some other sort of disorder. I can’t remember.

All I know is that this form of Angel is a lot more vulnerable then even Liam was and it’s gonna take some doing to make sure he’s safe.

“Cordy, I’m not messing around. You need to get down here and explain this.” Fred yells at the ceiling.

“Perhaps we should just wait for them to come on their own time.” Wesley says.

“Wes, he’s a little kid. Practically a baby and they expect us to keep him safe. If anything happens to him…”

“Nothing is gonna happen to him.” Gunn says.

Damn right nothing is gonna happen to him, I think.

“You don’t know that Charles. We want to keep him safe, but… he’s a little boy. Little boys want to go out and play in the mud and stuff.” Fred says.

She’s probably not far off, even if he is from yesteryear. He seems like the type to jump around in mud puddles and run in fields. Most little boys are.

Charlie boy doesn’t look so certain now and Fred goes back to screaming at the top of her lungs.

“Well if you’re not going to stop for the sake of stopping then at least think of Liam. He just got to sleep and, with the day that he’s having, I think sleep is just what he needs.” Wesley says.

I’m inclined to agree with him. Besides I heard somewhere that little kids need naps or something like that.

“Oh… right… sorry. You’re… you’re right. I should be quiet.” She says.

She looks over at me, mini Angel’s head resting on my shoulder and he’s drooling and snoring, but all she sees is an adorably little kid. Makes that ‘aw’ noise, face softening and breaking into a huge smile.

“He certainly is a cutey.” Fred says.

“Well then next time he can drool on you.”

He let Fred take him to the hospital located in the building, just to make sure he’s healthy and doesn’t have any sort of sickness we’re not aware of. Course, given the time, I don’t think he would have survived very long if that were the case.

I suspect she just wanted to hold him and he went to her, very willingly. Fred is a woman after all. They’ve got that motherly vibe and I can’t say I wasn’t tired of him drooling on me.

“So… a little kid version of Angel. I did not see that one coming.” Lorne says.

He’s pouring his coffee. I’m pouring myself a mug of blood.

“Neither did I. Bloody Powers that Be. Can’t they just make their wishes known like normal people?”

“I think it’s a requirement that one is vague in order to get in with the higher ups. In any case… they’re messing with some pretty hefty fires.”

“Got that right.”

“Though, at least this time we know you won’t be sleeping with this form of Angel.” Lorne says casually.

Like he didn’t just say that where anyone could hear.


“It’s none of my business. I just… I find it odd that that’s twice now that we’ve had Angel reincarnations and both times you slept with them and both times they changed. I’m just hoping that isn’t the trigger this time.”

“What makes you think it was the trigger before?”

He gives me that ‘honey please’ look as he likes to call it and I roll my eyes at him.


“If it’s not that then it definitely has something to do with that. Or you. You have to see the parallels Blondie.”

I scowl at him. Grab my mug of blood and start to head off towards Angel’s office when a flash of light blinds me, magical force pushing me back until I’m flat on my arse, blood flying into my face.

“Blood hell!”

“Opps, sorry. That was my fault.”

I don’t have to look up to now that Power’s representatives are here. Great.

“Really, you need to let me do those portals.”

“Yes, before you kill someone.” I mutter.

“You’re already dead.” Cordelia says.

“I wasn’t just talking about me.”

“Oh, I’d never kill anyone. I’ve got more control than that.” She says airily.

There’s something in the doubtful way that Doyle looks at her that makes me question that. Even if I hadn’t already been questioning it myself.

“So… you’re here.” I say.

I wait for them to say something. Lorne, Wes and Gunn have made their way over and look interested to see what they’re going to say.

“Yes, we are.” Cordelia says, bright smile on her face.

“Any reason why?”

“You were the ones calling us. Figured we’d answer.”

“You do know that a much younger version of Liam is with us now, right?” Wes asks.

“Oh, of course. We’re the ones in charge of this little experiment… well not exactly in charge, but we’re kind of like the over thingies.”

“Over thingies?” I ask.

She rolls her eyes at me and sighs.

“She means overseers. Makes sure things are running smoothly.” Doyle explains.

“And they are… running smoothly that is?” Wesley asks.

“As far as we can tell.” Cordelia says.

This seems to irritate Wes. He starts laugh, a bit hysterically and pulls at his hair a bit.

“What are we supposed to do with a child?” He asks incredulously.

They share a look and I’m already getting bored with them. It’s clear that they know everything, but can’t tell us anything.

“Keep him safe?” Cordelia says.

It sounds more like a question than anything else and I can tell she’s probably just dying to tell us the big secret, but can’t.

“This is Angel’s journey. You can’t do anything but make sure he stays safe along the way.” Doyle says.

“We’re not exactly equipped to deal with tiny tots.” Charlie says.

“We know. This is a law firm. Just… try, okay. You never know. It might do you all some good.”

“Sadly it won’t be doing me any good considering he screams every time I get near him.” Lorne mutters.

She gives him a sympathetic look and shakes her head.

“He’s five, Lorne. You’re very scary to him.”

“There’s nothing we can do.” I say.

They both stare at me and for a second I think I see something in their eyes. What, I don’t know, but it’s something and I want to press them further, but I don’t think they’d tell me. They just nod, in unison and that’s a bit creepy, and sigh.

“Just make sure he’s safe, but also… that he gets to be a kid. He didn’t get to do much of that the first time around.” Cordelia says.

I nod and with the same type of flash that they came in with, they’re gone.

I make my way to the hospital floor. Not many patients about, which is a good thing. Fred radioed me a few minutes after the little visit and told me that mini Angel was asking for me.

Of course I went down there.

“Hey.” I say to him.

He smiles brightly at me, red sucker in hand and a candy bar in the other.

“Hi!” He says loudly.

“How much sugar did you give him?”

Fred looks a bit sheepish as she shrugs her shoulders and sighs.

“Not a lot. He was just crying so hard and so I gave him a lolly and then I told him if he was a good boy he’d get another one.”

Which explains the sucker, but not the king size crunch bar in his hand. I decide it’s better to not ask though.

“You were asking for me?” I say to him.

He shakes his head.


“What’s name.” He asks.

“Spike.” I say.

His nose scrunches up a bit and he giggles.

“’M Liam.” He says.

Fred makes another ‘aw’ noise and she looks like she wants to bundle him up and keep him for a long time.

He certainly is cute, voice slightly accented and slurred because of his words. Even if his hair is a bit messy and his face is sticky from the candy he’s been eating.

“So, how is he?” I ask Fred.

“Fine. The doctor’s said everything is in ship shape.”

“Cordelia and Doyle just made a visit.” I say to her.

She nods her head.

“What’d they say?”

“Just the usual. This is Angel’s journey, we’re meant to guide… all that bollocks.”

Mini Angel gasps at that and then bursts into giggles.

“Spike are we gonna have to have a cussing jar?”

“What the bloody hell is a cussing jar?”

Mini Angel giggles some more.

“Everyone puts a quarter in every time they cuss in front of Liam.” She says.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am. He’s just a kid. He’ll start imitating you and saying naughty words. We can’t have that.”

She’s clearly decided that she likes this mothering role and I think it suits her. Not that I’m going to tell her that. She’ll let it go to her head too fast. Instead I lean against the doorway.

“What are we gonna do with him?” I ask.

She sighs, looks over at the little boy on the hospital bed sucking away at his lollipop and trying to open the crunch bar. She doesn’t make another ‘aw’ noise, but it’s a close call.

“Well first, we have to get him some clothes.”


Home ||| Spuffy Fan Fiction ||| Spander Fan Fiction ||| Spangel Fan Fiction ||| Harry Potter Fan Fiction |||Without a Trace Fan Fiction |||CSI Fan Fiction ||| Stargate: Atlantis Fan Fiction ||| Stargate: SG-1 Fan Fiction |||