I'll Give You an Inch
Mood:  smelly
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
I was reading the newspaper this past few days. Something I try to restrict to sports and the funnies. I usually glance at the frontpage to find out what horrible thing occured yesterday and then I move on. This time though something caught my eye. An article about a new trend in real estate. The article was about a guy who has set up a website where he is giving away free pieces of land in any of the 50 states, just in time for the 4th! You get to pick the state and then give your name and email address and that is how you become a land owner. It is actually easier then becoming a ULC minister.
Here is the deal, this guy in New York by the name of Scott Moger got an idea from an old promotion Quaker did where they gave away a fake deed to Yukon Country. This captured his imagination and then like all people do he grew up and forgot about it. A few years back while going through his old stuff he found this deed and the idea for American Acres came about. He purchased parcels of land in all 50 states. He took it online and is making his money from the sale of deeds to people he gives the inches too. His company still owns the land so if he ever felt like doing something with it we would all be out of luck but it is still kind of funny. At first I was irritated by this idea because I thought he was actually selling people the land. I figured that this guy had just found one more way to seperate people from their money. It got increasingly hard to stay mad once I went to the site and saw it was free. You do not even have to buy a plaque or a deed so giving him money is not even a requirement. Which of course makes me want to own a deed. I took the plunge and I am now a proud owner of a piece of Hawaii. I am finally a land owner and damn it relieves a lot of stress.... hehe. I know where I am going if I ever lose my job.... to find a 1 inch bed to put in my spot.

Anyways here is the link to your dreams http://www.ownapieceofamerica.com/

The rest of the weekend...
Mood:  vegas lucky
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
I am sitting here on a Monday evening doing laundry.... I guess that beats doing laundry on a Friday or Saturday evening like I normally do. I had planned to do a few loads yesterday but ended up getting home and falling asleep. I was pretty tired.... and here is why.

After I wrote you all on Saturday my dad and I headed to Powell's so I could trade some books in. Along the way we stopped at a joint called Philadelphia's and had a wonderful cheese steak sandwich. When we finally made it to Powell's and I had traded my books we found out that neither of us really wanted to be there so we left. I dropped the books they didn't take back in the car and we headed to the tram stop. We headed South to the Central Library so I could show him the old books exhibit. After that was done we hopped back on the tram and headed back North, I said we should stay on and see if anything caught our eye. Before anything did we had to depart or purchase a ticket to continue our ride. So we got out and started walking back to the garage. On the way back I started yammering about going to Henry's Tavern to have a Hoegaarden and pop decided it sounded like a good idea. We managed to get there in the midst of happy hour so our drink prices were reduced and they had a list of appetizers at great prices. We had a Hoegaarden White Ale, which was on tap, to start. Then I ordered a Pilsner Urquell, which I dubbed the Urkle, and I also ordered shrimp and seafood egg rolls. They were not bad, I would call them interesting. I would not get them again. My dad ordered a Boddington's and when we both finished we headed to the car. I asked my dad what he wanted to do next and he said he would like to go to Barnes & Noble.... Let's rehash: Went to Powells and the library and he wants to go to Barnes and Noble? Makes sense, obviously what we needed to do was go to a place with books. Hehe We spent the evening reading and splitting a banana foster cheesecake slice until I realized the mall was closed and B&N was the only place open. Which meant I needed to get home and get to bed.

Sunday rolled around and things started off weird. I left my headset for work at home along with my security badge. I did not realize it until I was nearly there so I had to turn around and get it. So instead of a few minutes late like I was about to be I was almost an hour late. Good way to start the day, right?
When I finally made it the calls were back to being slow. I was afraid that not only would I lose the hour I spent going back to get my headset but that I would get sent home early. Luckily that did not happen. When I finally was off I headed to Border's to wait for my dad and from there to head to dim sum. Border's was set up for our meeting spot so that he could head from there to Aunt Wanda's after we had indulged in dim sum. He had planned on being there and reading when I got there but he was running behind and I was the one who was able to read until he made it. We had a great meal at our hidden Chinese place and then he headed South for the day. It was pretty warm so I decided to stay at Border's as my dad hit the road. I cracked open a Boondocks collection of comics. I was enjoying it until I started dozing. I decided to go home and get started on laundry. Instead I went home and passed out. Waking up to go to work today. I missed calling my mom to wish her happy birthday... d'oh!!

Sorry Mom. Happy Birthday and Happy Birthday Auntie!!

A day late.

To Washington and Back!!!
Mood:  happy
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Yesterday went off without a hitch. I worked the morning shift at the callcenter and actually was able to work my full 5 hours.... I then hustled home to find my dad waiting for me and ready to head to Washington's Insurance Commisioner's office to get my license up and running. Except I was in charge of the Action Insurance Company this weekend so I had to quote someone. He did not meet our qualifications..... Anyway we finally hit the road and sailed straight up to the lively town of Tumwater, WA. A 2 hour drive so that I could walk in and sit for 5 minutes get handed a temporary license with the promise that the actual license would be mailed on the 3rd and I was out the door.... It was almost too easy! Of course there was one small glitch in the matrix... I was only able to get affiliated with one company. She was unable to locate Action Insurance Company so I have to get some more information and resubmit it. I can fax that though. The drive was worth it. I am now a licensed agent in Washington for aflac. We hopped back in the car and headed back to Portland. We stopped at Burgerville on the way home and had the most mediocre food ever. In fact it was pretty dang close to being bad food. When we hit Portland we decided to go to Cascade's tobacco shop to have a beer and a cigar in their lounge. Then we went shopping and headed home to cook a great dinner. A t-bone steak, baked yam and green beans. We finished that off with a Klondike version of the classic Drumstick ice cream. Tasty stuff!

It was a great and prosperous day.

Snakes On A Plane
Mood:  energetic
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Snakes on a Plane? The movie? This is where the world is taking us?

Some of you maybe thinking "There Mike goes again being silly."

I am not being silly. They are making Snakes On A Plane! Isn't it fantastic? I am ecstatic and I have to say I am so not kidding. I think this will be the worst movie ever and I think I will love it. I already love the title. I first heard about it on this guys blog he is a writer for screenplays and what not and he had an entry entitled "Snakes on a Mother****ing Plane". Ever since then I have been keeping an eye on it. So you want a synopsis right. It's real easy there are SNAKES ON A PLANE!!! The best part is it stars SAMUEL L JACKSON!!!

You know him he is the guy who played Shaft and was the guy in that lawyer movie that killed his daughter's attackers: "Yes they deserved to die!! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN H***!!!" You know what I am talking about! He is perfect for this part I can just see him yell in suprise about the snakes. Man this is going to rock.


SO why am I writing about it now? Well recently I read that the director has taken the suggestions of the lowly bloggers and movie geeks to heart and has reedited the movie to incorporate the fans vision. The movie hasn't even been released and it is already a cult hit!

I am on pins and needles waiting for this movie forget Superman Returns TO BORE THE EARTH TO TEARS! Snakes On A Plane is the next biggest hit!!!

Beautiful Sunset
Mood:  happy
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
I managed to catch this sunset! It is gorgeous!!

That was the first part of it. It had such vibrant colors but they just got richer. Here is part 2.

And part 3 is the last shot before the light got too dim to take a decent picture with the kinda inadequate camera I own. Ok it is way inadequate.... but it works and sometimes it works incredibly well.

Hope you enjoyed it.

One more thing..... do me a favor and let me know what you think of my newly created PROFILE!!!

Commercials suck...
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
The call center is still up to its old tricks of sending people home early. They are still hiring though. Makes sense right?

I have been distressed lately by the commercials with the voice overs of a guy that sounds bored. You know what I mean it is some monotone guy talking about things geared for guys. The new burger at Carl's Jr. or the great new flavorful lite beer.... "with out us most guys would starve." I hate that guy. In fact when ever I hear that guy present an ad I block the item from my memory. I have decided that I do not need to be told about something by a guy that is paid to sound like he is teaching high school algebra and all he can do is read from the text. I don't understand why advertisers are reverting to stereotypes and the worst aspects in humans to present new ideas. Just because I am a guy does not mean I can't cook. In fact I can cook and when I have people over I like to cook for them. I am actually pretty damn good at it. So what is with the insults from a fast food joint? I also notice that I, being a man, can not shop on my own or I will not know what to buy. Apparently I need to get a woman because only then will I be able to figure out a shopping list.

It is not just men that get insulted. I have seen ads aimed at kids where they portray parents as uninteresting and horrible people and somebody to disreguard. As long as you drink their bottle water you will be able to ignore your parents and everything will be ok.

I know women get it to. The whole idea that every cleaning product is a woman's best friend or that everyonce in a while you should get a break from cooking. Implying that normally you should be cooking..... Even worse the advertisers imply that only women are interested in or are in need of dieting products.

I don't get it... some of these ideas and labels are so 1950's. What is the deal, have we regressed?

The Rambling Review of NACHO LIBRE!!!
Mood:  loud
Topic: A Rambling Review
It is hot today! This is the second day in a row of heat. It is so hot and I am without air conditioning. I hate the builders of apartments up here. I want air conditioning at 80 degrees and today it was in the 100 degree range. It's 98 degrees right now! I tried to move far away from that. "Just when I thought I was out, they bring me back in"

I spent the day making calls to local businesses and hearing a lot more dial tone then last time. About 3 PM we called it a day and I headed to the movie theater. I remembered it as a cool refuge from the heat. It always was in Phoenix. Up here not so much. It was cooler then my apartment or outside for that matter. but it was not cold and I wanted cold. I had already paid for the movie so I figured I better watch it. That is why today I give you the review of NACHO LIBRE!!!!!

This movie was made by the same guy that made Napolean Dynamite. If you just cringed stop reading now. This is not your movie. Jack Black stars as Ignacio the man of the faith that just has to wrestle. I have felt that passion myself a time or too. I unfortunately do not want to subject the world to me in tights. For Jack Black this is not a problem. He spends almost the entire movie in clothes even a reasonably fit man should not wear. That is the curse of the Luchadores!

Everybody knows that wrestling, or rasslin', is great. Everybody knows the Hulkster and the Macho Man. These people pale in comparison to the famed Luchadores of Mexico. The Luchadores are typically much more agile then their US counterparts. They fly off the ropes and take wonderful dives on top of each other and genuinely put their bodies at risk. In this movie Ignacio has always wanted to be a Luchador. We see him as a young boy making his own costume and prancing around only to get punished and put to work in the kitchens of the orphanage. That is where we find him today making awful looking food for the orphans. A new person is introduced to his world and things seem to mean something again. The new person is a very cute nun. She is the reason for Ignacio to make something of himself and as he tries to entice her into an engaging night of toast munching and awkward conversation another brother comes by and sends him off on an errand. On the way back he does his errands to get the next day supply of chips for the orphans when he is accosted by Esqueleto and he loses the battle and the chips. On his ride of shame he notices a famous Luchador mobbed by fans. He turns away to see a sign that says Lucha Libre and it tells him amatuers can wrestle the next night. His chance has come. He unites with Esquelito and together they become the worst wrestling team ever! They get paid anyway since everyone shares the profits and for a while he lives high on the hog buying fancy shoes and new clothes. He soon finds out that he is a horrible wrestler and that what he really wants is to win and be admired. About this time fe discovers that his idols, including the number one Luchador are all self conceited jerks. After a heartbreaking night he vows to give up wrestling and refocus on his orphans. That day he is found out at the orphanage and pledges the next fight will see him victorious and that all the orphans will see the profits. He has found the reason to win. At his low point he realizes he has to do it for the orphans....

The movie is stupid. Lets put that out right now. The other thing to let you know is that stupid can be good. I liked this movie. I think that it had the same type of awkward social interaction that Napolean had plus it had the crazy antics of Jack Black. It's true I hated Jack in King Kong but I like him as the funny guy. His facial contortion work for this movie. That being said I have to tell you that every reviewer I have read absolutely hated this movie. I am not sure what they were expecting. It stars Jack Black in tights and a mask how dramatic could it be? It does not have a gangly teenager that needs chapstick so it is not Dynamite II and after all their is no llama named Tina. If you want to see a dramatic movie about a monk that wrestles to save the orphanage all the while trying to find forgiveness for his impure thoughts I recommend you get a camera and start filming that movie because this isn't it. This is camp and silliness at an absurd level. The wrestling matches were fun. The little munchkin wrestlers were great for laughs and Esquelito's shrieks of pain were dead on funny. I really liked Esquelito and the nun they were great. They did not get credit for their acting skills. Sometimes the best way to act with a person like Jack Black is to just look confused and these two did a great job of that. I love the looks of shock from the girl who plays the nun.

GO see this if you like Jack or if you like stupid movies. Otherwise don't go see it. If you read this all the way through and you hate stupid movies, I warned you in the beginning so don't come whining to me!

Saturday is a fun day for exploring
Mood:  celebratory
The call center place is at it again. They sent me home early, 2 hours early. I was sitting next to someone who was upset that they sent me home because she had asked fto be sent home. At my job they give out VTO or Voluntary Time Off, in theory this allows people to go home early that would rather be home and leave the rest of the slackers that need to stay at work. What I was issued was MTO or Mandatory Time Off. I didn't ask to be sent home I was told to go home. This has happened a lot lately but the last 2 days seemed to be picking up as far as call volume so they had not offered VTO and were not handing out MTO. Today it was slow the minute I got in and 3 hours into my shift I was handed a slip for MTO. It was irritating to realize that she had requested time off and still they had made me go home. What is new?

So I was off at 8 which through my whole days plan into disarray because nothing opens until 10 AM. I had planned to go straight from work to sell some DVD's and CD's but I had 2 hours to kill. Which is pretty hard when you are broker then broke. I headed home and wrote today's first 2 entries. Then I emailed people that probably won't email back and a few that might. FInally it was 10, so I grabbed some books I had wanted to keep and I headed downtown. I parked in the $5 maximum parking and discovered in all my brilliance that I had left my card at home so I was hoping I made at least 5 so I could drive home I had no plan B. My luck held out and I was able to buy a full tank of gas, pay the garage fee and have a beer and a burger at Henry's Tavern. The beer and the burger were not my brightest idea as far as money was concerned but I have been selling things left and right trying to pay bills and it just felt like I should at least enjoy a moment this month. So I ordered a Brewery BBQ Burger and A Deschutes Buzzsaw Brown to wash it down. The books I grabbed at the last minute paid for this indulgence the cds paid for the gas and I had 9 dollars left for the next fill up. The Brewery BBQ Burger was really really good and it was huge. It had a slice of Tillamook Cheddar, ham, the burger (obviously), an onion bun, and a great BBQ sauce. I was thrilled with it. I was irritated by the beer selection. Not because it was a bad beer selection but because it ionly had 2 of the brewery's own beers on tap. I am not sure I mentioned this Henry's Tavern is Henry Weinhard's place. There were over a 100 beers listed and the list was great. It had imports, local and not so local small breweries beers, rare and hard to find beers and a beer for every palatte. That includes the uneducated swine that only drink a steady diet of Budweiser and Bud Light for their dieting days. The beer I chose was pretty good, probably one of the better beers I have tried from Deschutes so far. Deschutes is a beer brewed in Bend, OR and no I have not been to that brewery nor have I been to Bend. Just to paint a picture of the awesomeness of the beer list I want to tell you that they had a Hoegaarden White Beer that Kevin K turned me onto when I visited him before Maryann's wedding. I have not seen nor heard of that beer since and had I seen it before I ordered that would have been the beer I chose because I think it was on tap. That is always an adventure. The decor of the place was a little disheartening. The name may say Tavern but its aim is definately for high dollar eatery. They had huge windows and big thick window drapes. Everything was black including the waiters uniforms and it had the definate feel of swank. They need to rename it Henry's Fancy Schmancy House of Other People's Beers. I was pleased with my burger, my beer was good, and the service was great. Was it a unique must have experience? NO, it was just like every other brewery that is popping up. An overdressed place to drink a beer, next time someone calls ther place a tavern I want a darkened room and shady characters in it and I want the beer to flow like waterfalls of delightful thirst quenching goodness. Would I go back again? Yes I would, in fact I am fairly certain that when I do start making money I will go back and have another go at the ginormous beer list. If I happen to be brewery jumping (if a beer drinker ever comes my way this will be something we do) Henry's will be passed over since it isn't really a brew house.

From there I headed to the streetcar and hopped on for a ride around. I was inside fairless square which meant I didn't have to pay to ride and I knew no matter what my parking bill would still be $5 dollars so I decided to get a free tour of the Pearl District. I caught it going South so actually all I saw was the Downtown. I rode it to the end in the downtown area and hopped back on when it cruised back by to take us back North. When I got near Portland State University I hopped off and checked out the farmer's market. Then I hoofed it North past the detestable Art Museum that I just discovered is at least 2 buildings which explains how we got lost in it and how come we never saw the Egyptian items they kept talking about. I kept walking until I was near the area where the library was. I had never been to a library in Multnomah County and I had been meaning to check out the Central Library so I walked in and was marveling at the beauty of the place when I discovered an exhibit on the 3rd floor. It was the opening of an exhibit showcasing some books from the rare books room the library has. Some books were from the 1400's , one was an original Beatrix Potter book and they also had an excellent and beautiful copy of the Audobon book with the wonderfully colored illustrations. As luck would have it this was the opening day so I was treated to my dinner and a three part orchestra from the Oregon Baroque Orchestra. It was really neat to see the old books and munch on free food while being entertained by professional musicians. I found two books as the music was playing and I signed up for a library card and then performed a Waltz as I left the building and headed across the street to wait for the streetar to take me back to the Pearl district. As I waited I took in the beauty of the Library's surroundings. THe youth shelter behind me, the kids hanging around the door way until someone from the shelter told them to stop milling about. The half naked bums that kept talking to me about the weather, at least it wasn't about how much money I should spare for them. Might not be a bad idea to spare that dime next time and find out where a good spot is so when I get tossed out on my ear for paying rent late I would have a heads up. Hehe. Anyways it was strange to see that amazing division of people just by walking out of the library.

After all that excitement my feet were killing me and I decided to head home and relax.

My New Bed
Mood:  on fire
Topic: Reader of the Week
Well this is a combined award. I was in Seattle munching on one of Dick's tasty burgers. Not the chicken Tasty just the descriptive term tasty. Anyway I was midbite when I reciefed a call from my mom. She was letting me know that she was heading up my way July 9th. I was glad to hear it since I really like having visitors. She let me know she would be accompanied by Auntie (AKA: Maryellen, her sister). They were going to drive a super single mattress to me and stay for a few days. So I have half of a bed now! Woohoo no more air mattresses. Now I just need to get a frame to get me off the ground and a box spring or something to add support!

I have no idea what we will do while they are here but I bet Multnomah Falls is one thing.

Anyway Becky, Mom and Auntie are my latest Readers of the Week!

You can still contribute to the bed fund by going to the main page and clicking on the 'Get Mike a Bed' button. Maybe one day I will get it up off the ground!

The Horse and the Chickens
Mood:  mischievious
Who knew that publically mocking someone would result in a rapid response from that person? I made fun of my dad for not getting pictures for me of the chickens and the next day I recieved theose pictures. I love when bad behavior gets rewarded.

The chickens:

Apparently there are four chickens so I have named them Tasty, Soup, Barbie & Q. Of course all we see is 3 of them so I think Tasty must be off somewhere else.

As a bonus I also got a picture of Maryjo and the Horse.

I still haven't seen pictures from Italy but that is probably because they actually didn't go.... hehe