SLIM'S CURIOSITY..........by Coralynn

Slim knocks on the door of Rafe and Daniel's apartment. He hears movement inside and glances at his watch, hoping he didn't arrive so early that he woke them from a sound sleep.
Rafe's face appears at the door, his hair disheveled, his eyes bloodshot.
It takes a minute, but he recognizes Slim and asks, "Oh, Slim. Come in. We're up, sort of. Or at least I am, Daniel hasn't come out of his room yet. I'm putting on a pot of coffee, want some?"
"Sure!" Slim eagerly steps inside, "I should have told you I was coming over, but it was spur-of-the-moment. Hope you don't mind."
"Not at all! That was some wedding, wasn't it? I about died when I saw Rose's dead husband suddenly crash into the reception like that. Who knew?"
"William told me later that Rose was almost positive she'd seen him in Paris when she and John went there for that convention. But, whew, the rest of us! Could have knocked me over with a feather!"
Rafe puts two cups of coffee on the table and sits, which Slim does also, holding his hands around the nice warm cup. He sips, "Ahhhhh, you make a great cup of coffee, my friend!"
"I learn fast! They didn't make coffee just this way back in 1777, let me tell ya!"
"Funny you should mention that. Ya know, when I was at that bachelor party, I heard a lot of confusing stuff about people having lived in different time frames. My question is: were you talking about reincarnation or did you actually live there in this lifetime, and if you did, how'd you get here?!"
"You mean nobody's told you?" Rafe is surprised when Slim shakes his head.
"I'm a relative newcomer, but from what I understand, almost everyone at the bachelor party was born in a different century, and not all in the same different century, either. William, for instance, was born in the 11th Century....."
"NO!"
"Yes! Really! He was famous back then for being some great conqueror guy, something about being the King of England or something like that.."
"You mean he's the real William the Conqueror? That's not just a clever name he made up for his cooking show on TV?"
"Right. And Eleanor was born in the 12th Century and went on the Crusades...."
"NO! Now let me think, what did I learn in history class about an Eleanor who went on the Crusades? Oooooo, she was married to some King.....Henry something or other. I've got it! Eleanor of Aquitaine! She was in that movie "Lyon in Winter!" or some actress was. HER?"
"I think so. I didn't get much schooling being born in 1753 in this country........I spent most of my youth trying to survive a mean, crazy, drunken father and a mother who was so timid she cowered in the corner and let the brute whip the childern, me included, of course. I got the hell out of there at a young age, but had no schooling, no skills, so I robbed people, especially people traveling on the roads."
Slim's eyes are getting huge, "You were a highwayman?"
"Yep! In fact somebody wrote a poem about me.......and Bess, too........said she plaited a blood red loveknot into her long black hair....."
"Get out!! That highwayman? I thought that was all made up!"
"So did everyone else till William came and took me out of there. Bess, too. Took us both out of there to avoid the fate that awaited us."
"Well, that was nice of him, but HOW does he do this?"
"He has a magic coin that somehow lets him travel thru time and space, just like *snap* that!"
Slim is excited, "Tell me......who is John and how did he get here? Daniel? Hotspur? Rose? Beth? Roger?"
"Roger isn't a time traveler.......he met Beth when she took Rose for a Doctor appointment back when she found out she was pregnant for the baby, or at least that's what someone told me. So Roger is just regular, sorta like you."
"Does he know he married a person from another century? Wow!! What century was she in anyhow?"
"Uhhhh, I think they said 1640 Long Island."
"MAN! This stuff is amazing! Someone should write a book about it!!! Of course no one would believe them, but still........"
"I know, it boggles the mind! The last one to arrive is Mike. Marilyn and Marthy found him in the fabled land of Atlantis....some centuries B.C. Seems the men were being used as slaves, and they liked Mike and took him out of there."
"You mean there really was an Atlantis?"
"Looks like it! Now, Daniel, who you can hear banging around in his room, is the twin brother of John, and they were brought from 1640 Southold, Long Island."
"With Bethia?"
"I guess."
"What about Rose? She seems pretty modern, I find it hard to believe that she was born way back when..."
"She was the mistress of Eleanor's husband, King Henry the second."
"And Eleanor doesn't hate her? They seem to be close friends."
"I know! Something must have happened to get them to be friends, just what I'm not sure. They laugh about how mean they used to treat each other, too."
"Son of a gun!! How about Marilyn? You know, the one who's a dead-ringer for Marilyn Monroe the movie star?"
"I think that's who she is."
"She IS?!"
"Yeah. I saw a video of 'The Seven Year Itch' one night over at the big house, and everyone was kidding her about how sexy she was in it."
"WOW! Does the press know about this?"
"I think they try to make a big deal out of it every once in a while, but Marilyn is incredible when it comes to dodging them. She's pretty strong, too. Daniel told me that she's decked him several times, and not to get too close to her when she's feeling protective toward Rose....or anyone else for that matter! She sure is pretty!"
Slim whisled, "She's a knockout! But she died at least 40 years ago."
"They must have gone back and brought her here before then is all I can figure out. Because she is definitely here!"
"Who you guys talking about?" Daniel asks as he emerges from his room.
"Marilyn!" Slim says enthusiastically, "Rafe says she can knock out a grown man!"
"HUH!!" Daniel grunts, "She's not so tough!"
Rafe and Slim both grin and shake their heads as Daniel goes into the kitchen, muttering.....

How about Luke? He's pretty musical, isn't he? Was he a musician before?"
"Sure was. Does the name Beethoven ring a bell?"
"NO WAY!"
"None other. And Henry in the Castle is Henry the 8th, though I'm not up on my history, but he was some big kind of England, too."
"Henry the Eighth? The one with all the wives? The one who sent a few of them to the gullotine or whatever?"
"Yep. That sounds like him."
"Anybody around here from this time besides Roger and me?"
"Jerry. He knows about the time traveling though. William and Eleanor took him to the French Revolution to prove it to him. He told me that himself."
"Think they'd take me??" Slim is more excited than ever.
"Well, it doesn't hurt to ask," Rafe answers.
"Hot diggity dog! This opens up a whole new bunch of possibilities! Thanks for telling me. Now I feel like one of the gang!"
They high-five and go after another cup of coffee.


THE DISCOVERY.................by Coralynn

Bethia looks out the window and sees Slim and Rafe get out of Slim's car and approach the house.
She opens the door and yells out, "In here, fellas! I'm so relieved you could help me! Roger has no idea how to go about this landscaping idea of mine, nor do I. Slim, you're a lifesaver!"
"I know how to install ponds in Texas. Let's see what kind of soil you have out back. Chances are it's different than what I've worked with before. Regardless, I'm going to build it for you, so please don't be concerned."
They walk out the back door and Beth points out the area she wants to use and the general layout of the plan. Slim nods and walks the ground. At one spot he stops and shovels up some soil. He squats and feels the soil in his hands.
"Wet," he pronounces it, "I think you have a high water table here. Let's dig down a bit further and see how far down we go before we hit it."
He hands Rafe a shovel as well, and they dig down about three feet when water commences to come up into the cavity.
"Yes, it's high, but we can drain as we go and the cement will hold it out of your pond. No problem."
Beth exhales loudly, "Whew! The first hurdle overcome!"
They spend another hour mapping out just exactly where the arbor is to be, and the walk and the pond, till Slim has it all written down and is satisfied that this is a "go."

"Want me to fill this hole back up?" Rafe asks.
"Yeah, let's do that," Slim joins him and they both get ready to shovel the removed soil back in, when Slim holds out his hand, "Just a minute. I think I see something down there. See that little area that looks like the edge of something?"
They shovel around the area in question and excavate a metal chest, whic looks like it's about two feet in any given direction.
"A-HA! and what have we here?" Rafe uses his best Pirate voice. "Ho-ho, me hearty, a treasure?"
Slim and Beth laugh, "It's probably just some box a kid used to bury her cat!" Slim says.
"Bring it into the house anyway," Beth tells them, "If it's a dead cat, we'll rebury it in honor of the little kid who went to all that trouble for a pet."
Beth gets out some sandwiches and pours coffee for them as Rafe goes to work seeing if he can pry the top off the box.
"This thing is really tight! The lock was broken a long time ago, but man! the cover is on here like glue!" he keeps trying, wedging various implements into the crack or where a crack should be, wiggling it to loosen the top.
He works away on it for a good fifteen minutes before they hear the sound of the top being prized away from the lower part of the box.
"HOLY SHIT!" Slim exclaims, "Oh, sorry, Bethia, that wasn't proper, to say that in front of a lady,"
Bethia laughs, as the three of them gaze at a box full of coins, currency and dazzling jewelry. On top of it is a piece of paper, upon which is written: "This is the property of Sally Jennings, June 2, 1725. If you find this, Elisabeth, keep your hands OFF!"

All three are shocked as they look at the contents, then at each other.
"A hidden treasure!" Rafe says excitedly, "Just like I was hoping!"
"It belongs to Beth," Slim warns him, "It was found on her property, so we don't have a claim to it."
"Maybe a finders fee," Beth says, "But......I've gotta show this to Celeste before we do anything with it. Will you keep quiet about it, Slim? Rafe?"
"Sure!" Slim agrees.
Rafe thinks a minute. The highwayman in him has been laid to rest, but isn't altogether dead, then he remembers that he's a reformed man and puts out his hand to shake with Beth, "Absolutely!"


I USED TO LIVE HERE?.......by Terri

Billy Bob did not surface for good until Tuesday morning. Bobby Joe was sitting on the porch enjoying his morning coffee, watching the horses run in the pasture.
Billy Bob came out freshly shaved, showered and in clean clothes. He had a cup of coffee in his hand. He sat down on the steps next to Bobby Joe. "BJ, I want to thank you for keeping this ranch running for me these past three months. I couldn't have done it without you."
Bobby Joe punched him lightly in the arm. "No charge, BB."
Billy Bob said, "You're more than welcome to stay in the guest house."
"Thanks, I think I will. That trailer was getting awfully cramped. It was the only thing I could afford after Carolyn left. She sure cleaned me out. At least Tequila Rose only took your table and Jake."
He laughed derisively. "Yeah, that and my pride."
"I'm sorry, BB. I really am."
"She sure had me fooled. I know we had our problems, but we...I mean...hell, she must have been one hell of an actress!"
"Well, she DID win that Emmy! What do you intend to do?"
"Don't know yet. Damn, Bobby Joe! I still love her. Isn't that crazy?"
Bobby Joe shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. Love makes you do foolish things."
"First thing I'm going to do is go over to the ranch house and see what she's done to it."
Bobby Joe stood up. "Now, now, Billy Bob! I don't think you're ready for that. Give it a week! You need to get your stuff together!"
"How bad can it be? I've only been gone three months. You know how contractors work. They take forever."
"Yeah, but she got the best."
"Who did she get?"
"Adam Murphy."
"Adam Murphy. She got ADAM MURPHY? He's got a waiting list of 18 months! How did she pull that off?"
"Dunno. But he was here supervising every day."
"Well, I'm going over there now. I'm going to at least see what I can. If the guests are still in their rooms, I'll have to wait."
Bobby Joe said, "I'll go with you. But wait a minute." He came back out with a bottle of bourbon. "You're gonna need this."

Bobby Joe stood on the porch with Billy Bob as he had his hand on the doorknob.
"Hey, aren't you going to knock?"
"Get real. It's MY house."
"Not for the next four months. It technically belongs to the ones who have 'leased' it. Whether it is two days or two months."
"Bobby Joe, who went to law school?"
"You did."
"Who passed the bar?"
"You"
"Who is a lawyer--until disbarred?"
"You are, BB."
"Then I rest my case." He turned the knob and went in the back door. Juanita was in the kitchen reading over a cookbook. She jumped up and hugged Billy Bob. "Ah, I was NOT dreaming! It WAS you! I just had to hug you to believe it! Now you can come back home to your wife and your little baby.....OH! OH NO! She's...she's..."
"Remarried, Juanita? Yes. I didn't get there in time."
"But when she sees you are alive and back, she will return, no? She can get her marriage to Mr. Gwinnett annulled. Because it is YOU she loves."
"We'll see, Juanita. When this bed and breakfast has run its course through New Years, I'm reclaiming my house. No more reservations. And if you stay on, I'll offer you the same money she was paying you to run this..this...whatever it is. Now, Bobby Joe and I are going to look around."

They looked around the kitchen. "New cabinets, huh? What was wrong with the old ones?"
Bobby Joe said, "She wanted brighter and lighter." They looked up. "Another skylight. Damn her, she knew I hated them." He looked over at the door. "That's new. The frying pan dent is gone." By this time Bobby Joe was opening up the bourbon and pouring it into a glass. "Aunt May's pub table. I have to get that back even if I have to get a sheriff's order. That's a family heirloom."

Bobby Joe explained, "I helped her transport it. We discussed it and she was going to use it until she could pass it on to Julie. She didn't want it getting ruined in storage."
"Guess I should thank her for that. Although since she said Julie wasn't mine, that table would have gone to Donna. By the way, I'm going to demand to see those DNA tests. It would be just like her to falsify them so I can't get to the baby."

They moved into the living room. "Where's my deer head? The ten-pointer? The one I used to hang my Stetson on?"
Bobby Joe said, "Guess that went in the yard sale."
"SHE SOLD THAT AT HER YARD SALE? I bagged that when I was twelve! Remember? Uncle Ned took us to Arkansas. And my Marlin? Merlin the Marlin! Where is he? My antler chandelier...gone? GONE? GONE! What....what the heck is this..this...blue stuff? Shiny fabric...is that the stuff they call chintz?"
He looked up. "AARRGGHH! Another skylight!" And plants! Where did all these plants come from?" He tripped over the ottoman again. "First thing I do when I get back here...that goes!"
He took a long swig of bourbon. Bobby Joe tried to replenish the glass but he waved him away. "Don't have time for the glass...it's gonna take a heckuva lot of bourbon to get through this house! Damn! Did I even live here?"
Bobby Joe brightened. "But she didn't touch your den!" "That's a miracle!"
"No, she said, uh....hey, look at this hatrack!"
"She said what?"
"What?"
"The den--you know, my office. What did she say?"
"I don't remember." "Sure you do. Out with it!"
"She uh, said it creeped her out."
"WHAT?"
"On account of she kept expecting to see you there."

They climbed the stairs. Bobby Joe hesitated. "BB, this room is rented for the next two weeks. I don't think you want to tangle with that Mrs. Swanson. She'd sit on you!" He took another drink and looked at the door."That's new."
"Yeah, Murphy said it looked like it was kicked in frequently." Billy Bob smiled in reverie. "Yeahhhhh....it sure was!" He pushed the door open and gaped at it. "Where's my bed? Where is my furniture?" "Uh, she donated it to Salvation Army. I think Wanda Sue has it now."
"Wanda Sue."
"Yep."
"Wanda Sue. You are telliing me that Wanda Sue has my BED? The bed I shared with my wife? Why would Wanda Sue want that?"
"Why does Wanda Sue do any of the things she does?"

Billy Bob looked up again. "She got rid of the mirror up there. She hated it. Said it reminded her of something you would find in a brothel. Replaced it with another damn skylight, I see."
Billy Bob and Bobby Joe went through all the other rooms, noting similar changes. After every room, BB took a long drink. "Guess that's about it, Billy Bob. Not too bad."
"Not too bad? This looks like something a fancypants fruitcake would live in. First thing I do when I reclaim my land? Throw all this designer crap out the door! I can't relax among all these fresh flowers and throw pillows!"
"But she worked really hard."
"Yeah, really hard at erasing my memory. I checked all the closets too."
"For what?"
"For that jacket. Now where the hell can THAT be?"
And with that they walked outside to the guest house.


THE MYSTERIOUS BOX........by Coralynn

Beth peeks into the back door and calls out, "Yoo-hoo, anybody home?" William rouses himself from his chair with the lever on the side, puts down his newspaper and walks into the kitchen, from which this voice seems to be coming. When he sees Beth's face on the other side of the screen door he exclaims, "Beth! You don't have to be a visitor.....you still have your key, don't you? Just come on in anytime!"
Beth enters the kitchen, carrying the newly excavated box, grinning, "I know how you like proper protocal, William, so I thought I shouldn't just come barging in."
"Nonsense! nonsense! You're as welcome as the flowers in the spring! What have you there?" nodding toward the burden she's carrying.
"Well, I can't say until after I've shown it to Celeste. Is she home?"
"I think so. CELESTE!" he calls out.
Celeste comes out of the suite she shares with little Will, shaking her head, "Good grief, William! Why so loud? I'm not hard of hearing! OH! Beth, what a treat to see you. What do you have there?"
"I need to show it to you in private," Beth says in a soft voice.
"Guess I'm not wanted!" William pretends to be offended as the two women go back into Celeste's room.
Beth places the box on the little round table Celeste has in the middle of her room, which is home to her crystal ball and several other exotic-looking gizmos no one has ever asked her about. Celeste tells you when she wants you to know something; you don't have to insist.
"Celeste, this was dug up from my back yard. Slim and Rafe were digging down to see how high the water table was, because I'm having them put in an arbor and a pond, and they spied this. Take a look and tell me what you think."
Celeste opens the box and smiles, "Ahhhh, what a treasure! I get the feeling it was put together by a woman, am I right?"
"I think so. Look at the note she has on top."
"Oh my! This woman calls herself Sally, and she warns Elisabeth not to touch this, hmmm, they probably lived together, maybe sisters is my feeling. From touching this paper she's written her warning to Elisabeth on, I get a definite feeling of anger. Frustration. Let's see what other clues are in here..."
She rummages around in the coins and jewelry till she spots another piece of paper, one that Beth hadn't noticed. She looks at it and smiles, then hands it to Beth, who reads aloud, "I, Sally Jennings, do promise myself that I shall never marry and end up like my mother or my sister Elisa. I do promise myself that I shall make my own way in the world and own my own house and hearth, and no man shall rule over me!"

"WOW!" Beth hands the paper back to Celeste, "she sounds like one determined lady!"
"She made out the warning note in 1725, and this other paper is dated 1720, so.......let's see......these expensive baubles may have been collected up for the purpose of selling and taking the proceeds to buy her own house. That was hard for a woman back then......wonder how she planned to do it. Who else knows about this box?"
"Slim and Rafe, as they dug it up. I swore them to secrecy, and they vowed not to say a word to anyone."
Celeste becomes very serious, "This collection of jewelry is worth a lot of money.......in today's currency, I would estimate about half a million dollars. Some of these pieces are rare, and these coins are incredible!"
Celeste hands some of the coins to Beth, then stops abruptly when she comes upon a coin ever so slightly bigger than the others, "Just a minute.......this coin........oh my.......this coin is magical. This is a time-traveling coin! How did it end up in this box along with the others, I wonder.......I'd also like to know if Sally Jennings had any idea what it was!"
Beth leans in as her mouth drops open, "Really? That's incredible!"
"Indeed it is!" Celeste agrees.
"Can you whip up your crystal ball and see who this person is and all that great stuff?" Bethia asks eagerly.
Celeste takes a deep breath and replies, "Not at this time. There's a force field keeping me out; I can feel it even as I sit here. I'll tune into her vibration several times a day if you'd like me to, and see if the force field weakens. If it doesn't, we're blocked."
Beth shows her disappointment. "Tell you what, I'll leave the warning note with you so you can tune into her whenever you want. What shall I do with this box, though?"
"Do you have a safe place at your house?"
Beth bites her upper lip, "I know! Roger has a large safe......I could lock it in there."
"Do that. This is too valuable to have lying around the house. You may trust Slim and Rafe, but even though Rafe is greatly improved over what he was when he came to us, this could be a temptation too great to resist. I hate to see him slide backward because of it."
Beth picks up the box again and asks, "Now, what do we tell William? You know he's dying of curiosity!"
"Ahhhh, you leave William to me, dear! I've learned how to handle the old goat!"
Beth gives Celeste a hug and makes her way back out. William glances at her as she goes by. Good luck, Celeste, she thinks as she exits the house.

"Who was that?!" Mary demands to know as she enters the kitchen, "And where is my food? Where is my serving wench?"
Celeste sends s.o.s. eye signals to William, who takes over.
"That was a friend. She came to see Celeste. And Mary, we have no 'serving wenches' as you so quaintly put it. We all cook, we all clean up, we all do the work, not just one person. Does that answer your question?"
Mary gets a steely expression, "You have that serving wench here from Henry's Court. I saw her.....what's her name, Marthy?"
"Marthy is a super model, which you don't understand. Just get it through your head that NO one here is a servant. Not for us, not for you."
Mary sits heavily on a chair and pouts, "Why, then, do you live here? This place is all buttons to push and odd pictures moving in a box..." she points to the TV,......."and no servants! This is not a place for royalty!"
"You can return to Court any time you choose, Mary, and continue your feud with Elizabeth. It's your decision." William leaves the room as Marilyn enters.
"HI!" she says in a friendly voice, "So you're Mary, Queen of Scots, right?"
"Not that it matters around here! Mary uses a nasty tone of voice.
Marilyn sits down and looks Mary straight in the eye, sizing up the other woman, then says in a purring tone, "We're all equal here, Mary. Even William has to clean up the kitchen, and Eleanor has to take her turn at cooking, not that she's any good at it, but we all pitch in. No one is treated like royalty."
"I'm getting that impression! Now, pour we some of that brew, what do you call it, coffee?"
Marilyn hesitates, as Mary seems to be trying to get her to wait on her. She smiles and leaves the room.
Mary sees Marthy in the living room and calls out, "Wench! pour me a brew!"
Marthy recognizes Mary from Court, and knows the trap she's trying to lay. She pops her head into the kitchen and simply says, "The cups are over there, Mary. Help yourself!" and off she goes. Mary rises from the chair, walks over to where the cups are stored and picks one up, then attempts to pour coffee into it. It spills and some is poured onto her hand, which causes her to flinch and drop the cup on the floor.
Surely, she thinks, they will hear the cup crashing and realize I must be waited on.
But no one shows up to help her, however, she hears William in the distance saying, "Strike one!"

MEANWHILE, across town in a restaurant, WandaSue is eagerly awaiting the reporter from the National Enquirer. She clutches the folder of pictures, then lays it on the table and looks through them one more time. OH how sweet! Not only are the men nude, swimming in the moat, but you can tell who they are! At least John is well-known enough, being on that soap opera, for the tabloid to want to splash his picture all over their cover.
That must be the reporter! she thinks as a man enters and looks around the restaurant. She waves her hand at him as he approaches her booth.
"You must be WandaSue!" the man says, "I'm Jeffrey Cavanaugh from the National Enquirer. What do you have that you think we'd be interested in publishing?"
She reaches into the file and pulls out the pictures, fanning them out before him. "That's John Gwinett from 'As the Planet Turns,' a very famous actor, as you know. He's having a gay swingers party in a pool....see?" she makes sure the most incriminating pictures are pushed closer to Mr. Cavanaugh.
"Sorry, but we aren't publishing any pictures of John Gwinett," he says decisively.
"Why not?!" WandaSue is shocked.
"There's a little matter of a lawsuit. Well, Miss Skaggs, it's been nice meeting you."
Good grief, babydoll, WandaSue says to herself as the man leaves the restaurant, now these guys are afraid of lawsuits? Since when?
She puts the pictures back in the file, stands up, and exits the place. Getting in her car, she wonders whatever happened to Belle. Where is she? She was a pain in the neck, but at least she was someone to talk to! Could she be dead? Can you actually murder a time traveler? Wonder how that works.

WandaSue drives to her apartment in Pleasantville and when she enters, she feels lonely as her footsteps echo off the walls. Well, babydoll, it won't be long......it won't be long till I'm living the high life out at the Ranch with my lawfully wedding husband! He'll let me move in because, for one thing, I have a whole bunch of his furniture! she laughs and flips on the television. Oh good! He-Haw reruns!! Hot diggity dog!!


YOU SEE, IT WAS LIKE THIS.......by Terri

Bobby Joe went into the kitchen and saw Billy Bob dressed in a suit and sitting at the table, eating breakfast.
"Wow, you're up early. And breakfast, too. What's the occasion?"
"I need to keep my strength up. I have a meeting at 9:00 AM with Officers Carson and McGee to explain how this whole misunderstanding started. Then to the insurance company."
"What are you going to tell them?"
"Beats me. I'm making this up as I go along. What day does my ex-tramp get home?"
"If you are referring to Tequila Sunrise, she's supposed to get back a week from today. She's in..uh, she's on her honeymoon."
"Where did they go?"
"Dunno."
" 'Dunno' nothing! You know! Where did they go? Paris?--no, not again!--Rome? Londoon? Please don't tell me Las Vegas!" "No--uh, I think it was Ouijah. Yeah, that was it."
"Fiji. She's in Fiji. That was where I was thinking of taking her for our first anniversary. You know, my first anniversary? The one that was supposed to be in two weeks?"
"Oh. That one. Yeah."
"Yeah is right. I'm off to the police station." He sighed and grabbed a briefcase. May as well look like a lawyer.

At 9:00 AM he arrived right on the dot at the police station. He told the sargeant at the front desk, "Hi. I'm William Montgomery. I have a 9:00 AM appointment with Officers Carson and McGee. And Captain Donatello."
The sargeant motioned him to sit down. One secretary to the other leaned over and said, "For a dead guy, his looking fiiiiiine!" "Heard it was a HUGE surprise for his wife!"
Within five minutes the sargeant came over and told him, "Please go up the stairs to the conference room on the second floor. They're waiting for you."
He climbed the steps, put his hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath. Here goes! He assumed his most confident air and turned the knob.

The three policemen were sitting there. Donatello rose and shook his hand. So did Carson and McGee. McGee seemed particularly twitchy. Like he had a secret that was just bursting to get out.
Donatello began. "It is a very serious crime to impersonate a dead person. Let me rephrase that. To imitate a dead person. To make yourself dead. Aw, hell, you know what I mean!"

Billy Bob took a deep breath. "Perhaps when I explain it all, it will make sense, Captain." Here goes! Hope it flies!
"It was no secret that my wife and I had been having problems. They culminated at a wedding of one of her friends. I am ashamed to admit that I made some foolish accusations..."
McGee leaned towards Carson and whispered, "Accusations? I should tell the poor bastard that I caught them red-handed in Loverboy's car...*gasp!*"
Alan Carson had grabbed McGee by the waistband of his jockeys under the table and gave him an atomic wedgie. "Shut up!" he hissed. McGee's eyes started to water.

"...which led to some harsh words being said between us. We had a serious discussion a week later and decided it would be better for us to separate for a period of three months. No phone calls, no contact whatsoever. To see how we felt after three months..."
McGee whispered, "Felt....yeah, I can tell him who felt up..."
Carson yanked harder on the waistband, like a dog on a choker chain. McGee couldn't even gasp that time."
So I packed a bag and took an airport limo to the airport. I didn't want to leave a car there for that length of time."
"Didn't you let your family know where you were?"

"I was too embarrassed. I said some things to my wife that were totally out of line. She was the only one who knew I was going but she didn't know where and she was going to tell the family after I left. So they wouldn't try to talk me out of it or so they wouldn't try to talk me into a divorce. I left for Italy on a flight under the name of Mark Olsen."
"Why use an alias?"
"Officer Donatello, I have a passport under that name. I didn't want my mother to call the airlines or the hotels in Paris and show up...you have mothers, you know what they are like." All three men nodded.
"I didn't even tell my cousin Jameson. When the poor unfortunate Randy Griswold stole my car, Jameson thought that was me in the Mercedes. Even my wife assumed it was me. Since I had no contact with anyone whatsoever, I was unaware that I was assumed dead. I spent my time between London, Paris and Florence. The three month period was over on October 3rd at which time I came home. To my utter dismay, I found my wife married to another man, which she thought she had the legal right to do."

"An annullment on grounds of bigamy. How do you explain that, Mr. Montgomery?" Alan Carson asked.
"That is a matter of the neglect of a 16 year old boy, Officer. I was married to a Wanda Sue Skaggs.."
"Skaggs. Skaggs....where have I heard that name? OH YES! She was busted some months ago for running over a woman's yard with a Falcon...then she was busted for trespassing on property on Winding Willow....and a photo lab just reported her as developing pornographic pictures."
Montgomery's head shot up and he started to breathe hard and sweat. He was remembering those pictures of him and Wanda Sue....14 yr old pictures she probably had blown up into 8x10's..or even poster-size. "Porn--pornographic pictures?"
"Yes, she had a new roll she was trying to develop."
Montgomery breathed a sigh of relief.

"Anyway, Wanda Sue was a real piece of work. I was only 16 and...well, the reason I married her....obviously, at that age I thought...I mean, a 16 yr old boy does NOT question a girl when she says she is pregnant...to make a long story short, my great grandfather arranged an annullment/divorce but Miss Skaggs neglected to sign the papers. When I married Miss de Clifford, I was under the assumption..."
Travis squeaked out, since the waistband that was twisted tighter and tighter was cutting off his circulation. "...you know what they say about assume...EEK! EEK! EEK!"
Donatello looked under the table. "Is there a mouse in here?"
Alan quickly released Travis's elastic and Travis fell face forward on the table, gasping for breath and moaning.
Donatello looked over at him. "Travis, what's your problem? I swear, you always get your jocks in a twist over things. Now just straighten up..." Travis stood up shakily and adjusted his underwear, pulling them and shifting them.
Donatello boomed out, "I DIDN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY!"

Travis inched himself away from Alan's reach. Next time maybe I'll surprise him and not WEAR underwear...what am I saying? Mom would KILL me! She'd say, 'only cheap women don't wear underwear'..wonder if that goes for men, too....
Donatello looked over and said, "McGee, are you paying attention?"
"Yes, sir."
BB resumed, "...under the assumption that I was legally free to wed her. I did not find this out...."
Travis said, "You mean to tell me you were living in SIN with her for the last year?"
Billy Bob ignored that barb. "....until Miss Skaggs.."
"Don't you mean Mrs. Montgomery?"
Donatello and Carson glared at Travis. He slunk down in his seat, folded his arms over his chest and scowled.
"..showed up in town and tried to blackmail me. My..wife..had just delivered a baby and I was in a quandry as to what to do and not upset Rosamond in her delicate state..."
Delicate state! Travis thought. She was ho-baggin' around with Loverboy a mere month after that. If not before.
"..so I gave in to her blackmail demands, thinking she would sign the annulment papers. Between that and the marital problems, I thought a three month break would be the best solution to sort Rose and my problems out. And that's all there was to it."
"How do you explain the will? That worked out to your advantage." "Yes..well...Julie is my only known progeny and I wanted to make sure she was well provided for. I didn't want to take any chances, going overseas in these perilous times."

Carson and McGee looked to Donatello. He said, "As far as I can see, there is only a series of misunderstandings. No charges on these accounts. As for the bigamy, well, if your marriage to Mrs. Gwinnett..." and at this Billy Bob winced. "...was annulled, there WAS no marriage, consequently there was no bigamy. All charges are dismissed."
Billy Bob rose and shook Donatello and Carson's hands. "Thank you, gentlemen. This is certainly a relief and a load off my mind."
As BB was walking out the door, he stopped by Travis. "Busted her for prostitution, huh?"
Travis said defensively, "Yes, sir, I did."
Billy Bob burst out laughing, clapped Travis on the shoulder and said, "Now, THAT'S FUNNY!"

Billy Bob got back in his Mercedes. It was nice of Bobby Joe to get it fixed after that Griswold jerk got shot and drove it into the ditch. Windshield is fixed, too. Yep! Just like new! Now on to the insurance company.
He drove into the parking lot of New York Mutual Insurance, walked to the desk and asked the receptionist, "I have an 11:00 AM appointment with Mr. Gregory. I'm William Montgomery."

The receptionist dropped her pencil. "Oh! OH! The dead guy! I must say, you look pretty good for someone who has been dead for the last three months. How..how do you do it?"
Billy Bob grinned, " No smoking, no..well, hardly any drinking..I eat right and lots of exercise!"
She laughed back. "I'll keep that in mind, if I ever die!" She pushed the button on her phone. "A Mr. Montgomery here to see you..." She looked up at him and smiled. "He's expecting you. Go right in."
As he went in Mr. Gregory's office, she turned to Mr. Gregory's secretary and said, "WOW! I wouldn't kick HIM out of bed for eating crackers! How could his wife live for three months without that hunk of gorgeous? I'd be climbing the walls!"

The secretary said, "She traded up. As gorgeous as he is...Haven't you heard? She's Rosamond de Clifford. The actress. The one who married that hot hunk of burnin' love--John Gwinnett! The actor. She acted with him on As the Planet Turns. There was some sort of scandal in the Enquirer about her..seems she ALWAYS was embroiled in some sort of scandal! They live some sort of wild Hollywood lifestyle..you know, those drunken orgies that that TV chef William the Conqueror throws...police ALWAYS show up at HIS parties! I heard...."
The whispering continued. "Yep! If it's in the Enquirer, guaranteed it's true! No one could make that stuff up..."

"Mr. Gregory? William Montgomery here." BB extended his hand. Mr. Gregory took it. "For five million dollars, you feel pretty alive, son. We're talking insurance fraud here."
Billy Bob sat down at Mr. Gregory's invitation. "The five million was put in a trust account for my daughter. It has not been touched. As you can see, it has drawn interest at top rate over the last three months." Mr. Gregory leaned back and played with his pen. "Fraud is a very serious charge, son. It can draw a jail term."
Billy Bob said, "I am a lawyer, Mr. Gregory. There was no intent to defraud. A police report is being faxed over to you today which will detail the contents of my conversation with Captain Donatello. All charges have been dropped. Now, I am prepared to write a check today to reimburse the insurance company for the money plus interest. Do we have a deal?"
Mr. Gregory mulled it over. "We at New York Mutual would like to keep this quiet to avoid any scandal or embarrassment. Yes, it's a deal. In the next few days we will send you a bill for the money plus interest." Billy Bob stood up and grinned, "That's very understanding of you, Sir. I am just glad to be home."

Billy Bob walked out into the bright sunshine of a beautiful day. Ahhh...it feels good to be alive. Again. Kingsley, Crowell and Bennett have invalidated that bogus will.
He drove home to the guest house. One more loose end to clear up...

*RING!*
"Hello, Dad?....Ha, ha, yes it is good to hear your voice too....no, I didn't see any bright light at the end of a tunnel....just a lot of museums and cafes, haha!....how's Mom?.....figures, she'd go shopping to celebrate my homecoming....I may get down to Texas in the next couple months....listen, I have a...situation here...alright, alright, when DON'T I have a situation...no, it doesn't involve Rosamond...yes, I know you liked her...ok, you liked her ALOT....no, I'm working on it....don't know how...well, it IS kind of tough when your ex-wife, un-wife, whatever she is...is on her honeymoon...yeah, Dad, she married that guy....but that's a conversation for another time...I have a business proposition. How would you like to buy the ranch from me. You can sell it back to me at a later date, I just have to get rid of it for a little while. It's too valuable of an asset to split down the middle...well, how does one dollar sound...?"


YA CAN'T KEEP A BAD GIRL DOWN..........by Coralynn

WandaSue finishes taking pictures of all BB's furniture she got from the Salvation Army, and shuts the door to the spare apartment. No one seems to have been snooping around it, she notes. She locks the double bolt and gets in her car.
Ahhhh, babydoll, wait till Montgomery gets this! Pictures of his beloved furniture being trashed! Well, it'll look like they're about to be trashed, anyhow, and that's all that matters!
When she arrives back at her apartment, she quickly fires up her computer.........ahhhh yes, I knew this would come in handy!
Cutting around the photos of individual pieces of furniture, she scans them and then does some clever editing so that they look like they are, one by one, about to be crushed like you see old cars crushed at the dump.
The first one comes out well, but she's not quite satisfied, so she does it again, this time lowering the massive leather couch a bit further down into the trash compactor. Ahhh yes, you can tell what it is for sure, but now it looks like it's really about to be schrunched. She laughs and starts in on the next picture.
It takes her most of a day to do this to her satisfaction, and, when she's done, she has 8 excellent pictures ready to deliver.
She writes out a note to include in the manilla envelope. "Billy Bob, this is WandaSue, your lawfully wedded wife. I have many pieces of your furniture, including, you will notice in picture $8, your prized antler head. If you wish to see these things alive ever again, you will move me to your ranch and put me in my rightful place as lady of the house. Call 555-987-1458, and do it pronto! The crushers are getting hungry for a meal!! Yours, WSue."
She drives out to the ranch, sees no one outside, so she slips the envelope into the mailbox, which is full of the days' mail. Good! He'll see it today!! Oh, babydoll, this is going to be sweet!

WandaSue drives back to Pleasantville, humming along with a tune on the car radio. I can't leave the apartment now.........gotta wait for that phone call! Well, let's see what's on the telly, as the Brits call it. Oh yeah, if you really look around, you can still find Jerry Springer. HA! look at that! One woman is throwing another one up against the wall. You go, girl!!


BELLS ARE RINGING............by Coralynn

Celeste closes the cupboard door after having unloaded the dishwasher and putting the dishes away, when she hears a bell ring. Now, that's odd! Nobody in the house goes around ringing a bell for any reason.
She looks slowly around the kitchen for where the ringing could be coming from, and sees a small little oriental ceremonial bell that someone put on a shelf as decoration. She'd never noticed it before. She hears a distinct 'ting!' come from it........then again.
She stands in front of the tiny bell and says, "What do you want, dear?"
The bell tings several times in rapid succession.
"Are you Sally Jennings?"
The bell rings even more rapidly.
"Are you trying to tell me something, dear?"
The sound of the bell becomes constant. Celeste picks it up which quells the sound immediately, and says firmly, "Sally, if you wish to communicate, I'm going to my crystal ball. See if you can contact me through that."

When she's in her room, warming up the crystal ball, she gets the sensation of another person in the room. Whirling about, she sees the filmy outline of a person.
"OH! How nice you've come to see me! Sit down and tell me about your life."
She talks to the apparition as though it were just a normal person who has come to visit.
Nothing happens, so Celeste waits. The filmy presence is stationary, but begins to quiver. Celeste smiles and tells it, "You can tell me. I'm a friend."
With apparent great effort, she hears the word .......'mine'......come from the ghost.
"Yes! It is yours, Sally. That is your chest of jewels. We know that. What would you like us to do with it?"
Nothing.
The filmy apparition then disappears.
Celeste is disappoinited, but thinks perhaps if she can gain Sally's trust, that eventually she'll be able to make a more firm connection. She replaces the cloth over the crystal ball and goes into the living room to watch some television with the others.


GLADLY, THE CROSS-EYED BEAR--UH,..DEER!.....by Terri

Billy Bob was feeling pretty good about the day's endeavors. I cleared it up with the police, I made it right with the insurance company, and I was able to save myself from getting disbarred. I still have the ranch, all the horses and the vehicles. And I'm home in the United States, home of the Big Mac and Large Fries to go, thank you very much! Sure was getting tired of croissants and French Onion Soup.
But there still was a sharp pain--Rosamond and the baby. I'll figure out something. After all she's done, I still love her. Am I a schmuck or what?
Maybe Bobby Joe will go to Texas for a few days with me. We can take a day and go to Galveston. Used to do alot of surfing there, I really need to relax. Hell, we used to go every weekend. Carolyn, WandaSue, and us. Maybe go when my anniversary is--was. Gotta get my mind off it. She's on her honeymoon and I spend our first anniversary alone.

He stopped at the mailbox. Didn't Bobby Joe empty this every day? What a pile of stuff! On top was a stack of photos that made Billy Bob's blood run hot. That's right, running cold is for sissies. There on the stack of bills were eight pictures from a computer. NO! NO-NO-NO-NO-NO! He frantically flipped through each one. AARRGGH! NOT THE DEERHEAD!

He ran into the house and found Bobby Joe sitting there watching a playoff game for the World Series, drinking a beer and eating Fritos. "Hey, BB, you looked bummed. Things not go alright at the police station? When are visiting days?"
He grabbed the bag of Fritos and flung them up in the air.
"HEY! I just opened them!"
"She's got the furniture and she's threatening to trash them. As in compactor."
"Who?"
"Who. WHO? Who else? WANDA SUE, THAT PIECE OF SLUNKMEAT!"
"But why would she do that when she's gone through the trouble of getting those vicious dogs to guard them?"

"Dogs? Wanda Sue wouldn't have a dog. Can you imagine her having to feed and walk them? Un, un...Wanda Sue wouldn't even have a houseplant. Not if it needed taken care of. Besides, she's afraid of dogs. That is the one thing I know. She's holding the furniture up for ransom. She wants me to install her in the ranch house as Madame of the Manor. I've gotta think how to get that furniture and get her out of my life. I'm leaving for Texas in three days to see Mom and Dad and sign the ranch over to Dad. This will get me away for a few days. Want to go?"
"Gee, I don't know..."
"I'm stopping off and seeing Donna, too..."
"Donna, huh? Yeah...yeah, I'll go."

Billy Bob and Bobby Joe sat at the table wondering what to do. "I'll call her and just sound it out. Maybe we can sneak over there and kidnap the furniture. If push comes to shove, I can do without the leather furniture but I sure would like to have my bed back and that deer head."

"So how are you going to play this out?" Bobby Joe asked.
"Mama always said you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. And this is gonna take some great acting on my part. Hope I don't gag." Billy Bob said.
*RING!*
The phone rang ten times. "Guess she's not home." He was about to hang up when a voice he knew so well and dreaded answered with, "It's about frickin' time, sweetie!"
"Hello, Wanda Sue. How ya doin'?"
"Cut the bull. I know why you called. Ready to see your Hugh Hefner leather couch go end up into the compactor? Hey, I just may slice the stuffing open to see if you hid any money in it."
Billy Bob tried very hard to remain cordial. "Now, babydoll, you know that wouldn't benefit either of us. I wouldn't have the couch, you wouldn't have the couch..and no one would be happy."
"So do you agree to my terms?"
"Terms? Wanda Sue, have a heart. I can't get back into that ranch house until the beginning of January. It's been turned into a bed and breakfast and it is booked solid till then."
"OHH, YEAHHH...little Sweetheart Rosebud has turned your macho abode into a fancy schmancy hostel. Awww...poor Billy Bob has no place to lay his head at night. Well, how does it feel to be kicked out, big boy? Hey. listen to this!"
Billy Bob heard a crack. He tried to keep his voice calm. "Wh-what was that, babydoll?"
"Oh, just one point of that ten-pointer you shot--you BAMBI KILLER!" In actuality Wanda Sue broke a chicken bone just to tweak his mind.
"WANDA SUE! DON'T YOU DARE BREAK THAT DEER HEAD!"
CRACK!!! "Whoops! There goes another one! Hey, it's a little uneven on one side, let me fix that...." CRACK!!! "There! Sooo much better now! OH! And I forgot to tell you. but the glass eyeballs fell out. So I reglued them. Only trouble is now he's cross-eyed! Sorry 'bout that!"

Wanda Sue dissolved into unnatural giggles.
"Wanda Sue, are you into the tequila again?" Billy Bob was trying to maintain his composure and starting to lose.
"Moi? Certainment non! See? I guess you understand me since you spent so much time in Paris! Ya know? If you hadn't run off, Babydoll #2 could still be your shack-up! And instead of Isabella and me, it could be Rosebud and...."
CLICK!
Bobby Joe leaned forward."What did she say?"
Bobby Joe sighed. "You don't want to know. Let's just say she's been watching one too many Jerry Springer shows."


THE INSISTENT GHOST..........by Coralynn

Beth dusts the buffet with a flourish. Ahhhhh, now that looks good! I'm a bit nauseous this morning, but there's nothing like a few crackers and some Canada Dry to get you going in the morning!
She sits at the dining room table and goes through the newspaper. Let's see, what's on sale this week? Oh yes, a markdown on orange juice; better put that on my list.
She senses that Roger has entered the room, and says casually, "Anything you need at the store today?"
No answer.
She turns to see why Roger has uncharacteristically not replied, but he isn't there. Now, why did I feel that someone had come into the room? she wonders.
The sense of another person is even stronger, which is making her flesh crawl. "Anybody there?" she calls out.
She hears the sound of "mmmmmm" which causes goosebumps to break out on her arms. What is going on here?!
She takes a few deep breaths and begins to run down the list of what this could be. A real person? Only if he/she is invisible! Then it occurs to her that it could be an invisible person. Gathering up all her courage, she says aloud, "Hello, I'm Bethia. Who are you?"
She feels foolish speaking to what anyone else would consider an empty room, but she knows this presence is not going to go away anytime soon if she doesn't communicate with it.
"Mmmmmmmmmmiiiiiiii"......she distinctly hears this. No, she isn't going crazy; some ghost has to be in the room. Who?
"Yes? Mmmmmmmiiiiiiii what?" she asks.
"Miiiiinnnnnnnnne," the word is finally made a bit more clear.
"Something is yours?" Beth encourages whatever it is to speak again.
She feels the ghost come closer, and shrinks back in her chair. Could this be Sally Jennings, and she is here to claim her box of jewels? Who else could it be?
"Sally?" she asks in a quavering voice.
The presence becomes even stronger.
Beth is getting annoyed now. She stands up and says in the bravest voice she can muster, "Sally, yes, I have your box of jewels. I have to locked away in a safe place. I agree that it is yours. What would you have me do?"

The presence seems to be moving into the den where the safe is kept. Beth follows. She stands silently and waits.
The handle of the safe begins to make grinding noises. Is Sally trying to open the safe? Good luck to her! Beth thinks, there is no way she can open that safe!
Then she hears banging around inside the safe. Has that foolish ghost gone into the safe? The rustling and banging sounds louder. This is getting not only spooky, but ridiculous.
Beth again calls on all her courage, "COME OUT of there, you foolish woman!" she says loudly. Roger enters the room and cocks one eyebrow at her, "Talking to yourself again, Beth?" he says jovially.
"There's a ghost inside the safe!" she says impatiently.
Roger knows better than to doubt some of the weird things he's experienced since meeting with the merry band of time travelers, and walks to the safe and in a booming voice, says, "BEGONE!"
They hear the rustling and banging stop, and soon the feeling of a 'presence' also subsides and then disappears.
Beth has told Roger about finding the box, so no long explanations are necessary. She breaths out audibly and asks him, "What have I gotten myself into?"


TOUCHING HOME BASE....by Terri

"John, PLEASE! It's our honeymoon. Just leave well enough alone, darling." Rosamond said.
"I just need to check on things. I haven't been gone this long and I want to make sure everything is OK."
*RING*
"Hey--Body Shop, Daniel speaking."
"Hey, bro, how's it going?"
"Pretty good. You still in Fiji?" "Yes, we'll be back by the end of the week. Any problems I should know about? Rafe blow any toilets up lately?"
"No--but that Jameson Osgood and Bobby Joe Austin were in the other day. Looked like they were real uncomfortable, kept looking over at me like they were waiting for the other shoe to drop."
"Yeah, I have a real strong feeling that they knew Montgomery was alive all along. But how are you going to prove it?"
"Uh, how is Rose? I know that was quite a shock for her. She sure kept her cool though."
"Rosamond is fine. Good thing she had that annullment."
"Is she still going to teach the aerobics class here? Moose is starting to whine. His eyes were brimming when he left here earlier. Brad is taking over Rose's class. Oh, and that Travis McGee has been back to the class. It's like he's still trying to nail you two on something."
"Well, he can keep at it. He'll find nothing."
"Thought you might want to know something. I heard through the grapevine at the gym that Montgomery was able to scoot on the charges. I don't know the details and no one is telling me anything. He made good with the insurance company and he cleared it with the Bar Association. You can bet he had a slick answer for them."

"That figures. Rosamond refuses to talk about him. I tried to bring it up and she changes the subject. Guess she just wants to enjoy the honeymoon."
Daniel felt a stab of jealousy. "Yeah. I gotta go. One thing I wanted to say, John. Thanks for the 25% of the business."
"Daniel, you worked hard. I just wanted to show you my appreciation. I'll see you when I get back."
CLICK!
Danie walked to the punching bags and started punching the stuffings out. Twenty-five percent. Pretty cheap compensation for losing her. He hit the bag and it exploded. Everyone stared. He walked off. Awww, hell! It needed replacing anyways!

Rosamond said, "Is all well?"
"Yeah, things are going smoothly except Moose is blubbering again."
"Aww, my poor Moose! He's like a big TeddyBear. Let's call Bethia before we go scuba diving. I'd like to talk to the kids."
"OK, but let's keep it short."
*RING*
"Hello?"
"Hey, girlfriend!"
"Rose! How's it going?"
"Mmmmm....wonderful! I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life! John is so romantic! I can't believe we are actually married!"
"Well, you are! I was there! Who'd ever think we'd find happiness at the same time?"
"Yes, even El is pretty well in solid with Jerry. Now if we can just get Celeste and Wiliam together.."
"I think they are a couple but not in the way you think."
"Maybe someday! I called to see how the kids were. Any more problems with Will?"
Bethia laughed. "Will and Roger are best buds! They went fishing. He's going back over to Celeste when he gets home. I took Julie over there this afternoon."
"Bethia, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking them. I can't wait for you to have kids of your own so I can be Aunt Rosamond!"
"You just take care and I'll see you when you get back. Remember, next Sunday is a dinner party at our house."
"I've got it down."
"Rose..can I talk to John for a minute?"
"Sure...here he is."
Rosamond passed the phone to John.
"Hey, Bethia, what's up?"
"John, this is kind of personal. I need to know how to do a search on our property."
"A problem?"
"I'm not sure yet. I am wanting to do a history on the house. You know, the previous owners. Is there a way?"
"You would have to go to the Westchester county recorders' office and do a title search. It will give you a list of all the previous owners. Then you go to the courthouse and you can look up the deeds to the property. Some records go back to the times we lived in. Is there a problem, Bethia?"
Bethia hesitated. "I'm not sure, John. I think a previous owner may be haunting us."
"REALLY? You never mentioned it before. Why all of a sudden?"

Bethia went on to explain to John all the manifestations that happened. "..and if that's the case, she's come back to reclaim what she thinks I stole from her."
"Can Celeste break through to her?"
"She tried but Sally isn't having any of it. I don't think she trusts us yet."
"Wow! That's really wild. Seems like we are missing alot."
"I wish you two were here. I really miss Rosamond. I--I'd like to talk to her. Just to girl-chat."
"We'll be back in about five days. I've got to say....this is the most fun I've ever had!"
Bethia laughed "Spare me the details, I'll get them from Rosamond in our chick-chat!"
John laughed and said, "See you next weekend! Love you!"
"You too--take care of my girlfriend!"
"Will do! And tell Roger that I'll probably lose our next raquetball game. I'm too mellowed out right now!"
"OK--and thanks, John. I'll let you know what I find."
CLICK!


MINE!!!...............by Coralynn

Sally Jennings roams the rooms at the big house, looking for Celeste. She can't find her and is becoming more and more agitated.
"That place down the way where Beth lives is my land," she thinks in her ghost mind, "I will drive the interlopers out if I have to........it's mine!!"
Not finding Celeste, she roams into a room where another woman is sitting, reading a book.
Good, a woman! I'll have no dealings with men! They just want to control you, and I spent my entire life making sure it didn't happen to me.........ahhhhhh.......this woman doesn't feel my presence yet. Let me move in a little closer. Yes, now she's looking up from her book, confused. She's trying to figure out why the air in the room has suddenly dropped twenty degrees. Now she's looking right at me. I'll try to make myself a little more visible, but it takes a great effort..........yes, that's better.........now she looks confused and a little frightened.
"Mmmmmmmiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeeee," she says as clearly as she can.
Marilyn looks at her, the frightened expression gone, and says, "What is your problem? Celeste told me you refused to contact her through her crystal ball. Now, if you need help, for Pete's sake, cooperate!"
Sally is taken aback. This soft looking woman is tough. YES! She's tough like me. I can work with her!
Sally tries to get more words audible, "Hellllllllllpppppppp mmmmmeeeeee," she moans, and Marilyn answers, "What do you need me to do to help you?"
Sally isn't positive what this soft looking but tough woman can do.
Marilyn is still waiting for her answer, which doesn't come, so she stands and announces to the ghost, "Celeste will be back within a half hour. She will then go to her crystal ball. If you have any intelligence at all, you will contact her that way. Now, go pester someone else. Play the game by our rules or go haunt elsewhere!"
Marilyn leaves the room, with Sally thinking, "This one I can definitely work with. If she says the crystal ball is the way, maybe it is."


NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED!......by Terri

It was Wednesday before Bethia had a chance to go to the county clerk's office. She was armed with quarters for the copy machine, a notebook, pens, crackers and gingerale. She walked up to a clerk and said, "I'd like to research the previous owners to my house, please. I'm writing a history of the house as a surrprise for my husband." Like I'm really going to tell her I am ghost-hunting.
"Certainly. What is the address?"
"It's 235 Winding Willow in Chappaqua."
The clerk scanned her computer. "Looks like it's on Microfilm roll number 224. Give me a minute and I'll get it."
The clerk returned in ten minutes. "Here it is. Just give it back to me when you're done."
Bethia took the role over to the microfilm machine and loaded it. Hmm...very interesting. Looks like that section of Westchester was deeded to Governor Francis Lovelace...Divided into parcels in 1680...let's see, our parcel ID is 23-29-15-48347-000-034. Ahhh..here it is! In 1680, owned by Thomas Wallace..sold in 1700 to Benjamin Talbot..sold in 1722 to a Captain Mathias Cummins..could Sally be his daughter?...says here the property was sold to Sally Jennings in 1723...sold again in 1731 to Gideon Nickerson....

Beth sat there thinking. A woman owning property in 1723..almost unheard of! Did the good captain die? And leave it to Sally?...and how did she get the jewels and coins?...
She made a copy of the microfilm page and returned it to the clerk. "Where would I find a copy of the deeds?"
The clerk said helpfully, "That would be in the courthouse across the street. Second floor. Ask for Mrs. Donovan."
"Thank you. I appreciate it."
Bethia walked outside and sat on the park bench for a minute, collecting her thoughts and munching on a cracker. Sure wish Rose was here. She revels in mysteries. El is too practical, but Rose would love it! She's make up some fanciful story. Which would probably be closer to the truth. At least they will be home in two days. Bethia walked into the courthouse and asked for Mrs. Donovan.
"I'd like to see the deeds listed for the property at 235 Winding Willow in Chappaqua."
Mrs. Donovan returned with a big book. "I'm afraid we haven't microfilmed these yet. Hardly anyone ever asks for them. Enjoy!"
Bethia flipped through the deeds. Oh, here's the Big House! Seven different families owned that land...here's the Cooper house. Wow! Coopers have owned it since 1690.
Lots of history there. John would love it. Here's mine....let's see..Captain Mathias Cummins deceased..then the owner was Sally Jennings."
"Mrs. Donovan? If I want to find out about a previous owner, how would I go about it?"
"It depends. There are privacy laws that means we can't give out information less than 70 years."
"This is from 1722-1731."
"Oh! Well, that certainly exceeds the 70 yr rule. I would go to the Historical Society over on Lancaster Street. Only three blocks over. Ask for a Mrs. Cooper. They go way back in this area." Bethia got in the car and drove the three blocks, sipping on her Gingerale.

Entering, she asked for a Mrs. Cooper. A woman with soft grey hair and brown eyes behind big glasses came over. "I'm Virginia Cooper. Can I help you?"
"Hi! I'm Bethia Ad--I'm sorry, I'm Bethia Bidwell. I'm newly married and I still can't get used to it! Do you have any books on the history of Westchester?"
"Oh, my, yes! There are two sections here. First three shelves are the Colonial period."
"That's exactly what I want!"
"If you have any questions, please let me know. My family has been around here for 400 years."
"I know. My friends just bought a house owned by the Coopers on Winding Willow."
"OH! That was my husband's Aunt Mathilda. My husband was trustee. He just sold it to a delightful young man. He said he wanted to surprise his intended with a house.
The young man--John, I believe his name was--didn't care about the condition. He said his fiancee wanted to be near her parents. He wanted a yard for the children, too. Guess he's really planning ahead!"
Beth suppressed a smile. "The intended is one of my best friends. She is renovating it and having the time of her life! They got married about ten days ago."
"How wonderful. I hope I can see the changes they made. Aunt Mathilda was pretty set in her ways. Oh! I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from your research."
"Not at all. I was wondering..have you ever heard of Sally Jennings?"
"Sally Jennings. Most certainly!"
"What can you tell me about her?"
Mrs. Cooper blushed and said, "My dear, we don't speak of women of her...sort! If you need to know, you can look through the books. I am sure they have a sanitized version of it!"
Bethia was all the more curious. She looked in book after book. After the seventh one, she picked up a book entitled, "Unadulterated History of Chappaqua and Westchester County" by Cecil Bascomb. Well, Mr. Bascomb..what can you tell me?
Bethia sat there and unwrapped another cracker. Her eyes grew round. In it, she read---"Captain Mathias Cummins was a sea-faring captain who settled in Chappaqua in 1722, purchasing 28 acres in the area known as Chap-a-quaaha. He met with an unfortunate accident in 1723 and his acreage was turned over to Sally Jennings, a woman of...."
Beth flipped the page over. ".....the Indians held the property by the river.."
Wait! This doesn't make any sense! Bethia flipped the page. It went from 276 to 279. The pages have been ripped out! Now that's strange....


A CLUE HERE, A CLUE THERE.........by Coralynn

Marilyn and Celete are 'warming up' the crystal ball when the phone rings. Celeste answers it hurredly, not wanting to take too much time away from her session with the ball.
"Beth! ....Yes........you found out what?................she owned your property?....................I wonder how she did that back in 1731....................really?...............well, Marilyn and I are going to attempt a connection through the crystal ball................ok, good, come on over and we'll see what we can do.................five minutes?..................perfect!"

Celeste tells Marilyn, "Beth found some solid information about Sally Jennings....seems she owned the property Beth and Roger own now. Looks like she's trying to reclaim it. Beth will be here in a minute and we can try to contact Sally then."
"She must be pretty wacked out if she thinks she can get the property back, especially since she's a ghost. Where'd she get the money to buy it anyway? I mean, back in 1731 women didn't have their own money unless......."
"Bingo, Marilyn, I think you and I are thinking the same thought."
"Are we dealing with a madam, I wonder? If she'd been a common prostitute she'd never have been able to accumulate as much wealth as she obviously did if that chest of coins and jewels are any indication..........whew........."

They hear Beth ring the doorbell, then use her key to enter. She walks into Celeste's room and tells them what she found out in her day's investigating.
"How do you think she got that much loot, Bethie?"
"Both the lady I talked to and the book I was reading hinted that she may have been involved in something illegal, maybe immoral.....but the real information, from what I can tell, is on the page ripped out of the historical account of the area. Now why that page?"
"A ghost can't rip a page out of a book, can she?" Marilyn asks Celeste.
"Most of them can't, but I have the feeling we're dealing with a very atypical ghost here," Celeste answers as she holds her hands over the crystal ball.
At first nothing appears in the ball, then Celeste softly calls, "Sally Jennings, please attend us."
The swirling air inside the crystal ball begins to clear a little, and a form can be seen. Then, as it clears even more, a face slowly materializes. It is of a pretty brunette with dimples.
Marilyn and Beth look at each other in astonishment, Marilyn whispering, "Dimples? Look how cute she is, like an older version of Shirley Temple! She even has ringlets!"
Celeste shushes her and addresses the apparition in the globe, "Sally Jennings, is that you?"
The cute woman in the ball finally says something in a clear ringing tone, "It is I. Who did you think it would be, Queen Elizabeth?"
"Don't get snippy, Sally. You need us more than we need you!" Marilyn blurts out.
The focus changes. Sally now concentrates on talking with Marilyn. "What name do you go by?"
"Marilyn. Tell me, Sally, how did you come to have so many riches? That box of coins and jewels is worth a young fortune. How did a woman back in 1731 ever get enough to buy property?"
Sally's face becomes hard and world-weary, "The only way I could! But I want the land back; it's mine!"
"This is ridiculous! You're a ghost. A ghost can't own property or anything else for that matter. How on earth do you think you're going to get it back if the only way you appear is in a mist or in a crystal ball? Give me a break!"
Beth adds, "Roger and I are definitely not moving out so you can move in. We paid for the property. True, you did own it a long, long time ago, but Sally, those days are gone."
Sally's face becomes flushed and her expression determined; not even her dimples take away from her threatening look. "I will have it back. I will."
Celeste tries to defuse this conversation and asks, "Why did you wait until now, dear? Couldn't you have contacted others who owned the place? Why now?"
"YOU found my treasure chest! I had all but given up, but when you dug up my chest of jewels, it roused me and having a woman with a crystal ball around sure didn't hurt, either!"
"Why didn't you allow us to contact you earlier when we tried?"
"Didn't know if I could trust you. But that Marilyn woman is someone I can trust. She's not a doormat like so many women. I need to work with a woman who is full of steel, not flowers. My own mother was soft and where did it get her? My sister was soft and she was beaten by that brute she married. I am not soft. Marilyn is not, either. Like attracts like, and were it not for Marilyn, I would never let you contact me like this."
The three women make eye contact and mouth 'whew!' after hearing this explanation.
"Did you run a brothel?" Beth plunges in.
"I'm leaving now......." the face disappears.
"Obviously she doesn't want to admit to being a madam!" Celeste says as she replaces the cloth over the ball.
"Can you blame her?"
"I still say she looks like Shirely Temple! She must have worked it like mad. Who would ever have figured she was a madam? Wonder how she got away with it. Or did she?" Marilyn laughs, "And she identifies with ME? Hmmmm, could she have seen some of my movies?!"


STARRY NIGHT............by Coralynn

The houses are dark on Winding Willow.....most of the people are abed, and with the exception of a new night-lights burning, and widely spaced street lights, the whole area is dark. The stars are bright, as the clouds have dissipated and serenity reigns over the street.
Beth knows she has to make a trip to the bathroom, but snuggles for just a few more minutes beside Roger, who is sleeping soundly. Just as she reaches for her robe to go the few steps to the bathroom, she is jolted by a banging in the attic. Now what could that be? We had the whole house gone over to make sure no wildlife was trying to live in the attic or basment.
She walks toward the bathroom and hears chains rattling overhead. Now what in blazes is that?! She quickly visits the bathroom, then hurries back to bed, but she doesn't feel relaxed enough to sleep; waiting for another sound.
Roger turns over and mumbles, half-asleep, "Bethie, are you alright?"
"I think someone or something is in the attic," she whispers.
"I don't hear anything," he says, yawning.
At that moment there is a loud thud coming from above.
"Did you hear that? she whispers. "Tell me you heard that so I won't think I'm going crazy."
"Yeahhhhhh, that one I heard. I suppose you want me to go up there and have a look?"
"It could be dangerous!" Beth is nervous for his welfare, "what if he has a gun?"
"I'm going. You can't lie awake all night worrying, especially not in your condition," he pats her and, throwing on his robe and slippers, goes out into the hall, and soon she hears him climbing the stairs to the attic. Her heart is pounding furiously and she grips the end of the blanket tightly to keep herself calm.

Beth hears nothing for several minutes until she hears Roger's footsteps come back down the stairs and into the bedroom.
"What was it?" she asks nervously.
"Nothing up there. Must have been some board slanting against one wall that may have fallen over."
"Yeah, and if Eleanor were here, she'd say something like 'I knew I should have toggle bolted that bookcase to the wall.' So, you're sure there's nothing?"
"Yep, very sure. Now turn out the light and let's get some shut-eye."
She smiles and kisses him, "Thank you, Roger. I feel better now."

She is still somewhat unnverved, but in time manages to fall back asleep. Right in the middle of an interesting dream, she's shaken awake by a high pitched voice in the room. She sits bolt upright and shakes Roger.
The voice seems to be singing some wordless song, going on and on in an eeery tune. "Roger! do you hear that?"
"Ohhhh, I dreamed someone was singing......it wasn't very good singing.......is that sound in here??"
Beth ducks under the covers, shaking.
"I've had enough of you, DEPART!" he yells as he realizes what or who is probably making the hideous vocal noises.
The singing stops. Beth slowly comes out from beneath the covers and looks around. Roger seems to be out of the room. Where could he have gone? She screws up all her courage, and, after turning on every light as she makes her way from the bedroom to the hall, down to the living room, she sees him standing at the open front door, yelling, "And don't come back!!"
He locks the door and, turning off the lights again, takes Beth up the stairs and when they reach the bedroom, tells her, "That ghost of yours is getting malicious. Something will have to be done."
"I know," she says wearily, "I know she wants us off the property. She has said so. But she's a ghost! How does she think she can reclaim the property if she hasn't a body? Will you tell me that?"
"Makes no sense to me. How about we get in some of those new-age gurus who sprinkle holy water or garlic or something around the house to ward off ghosts?"
"I'll ask Celeste in the morning if she knows of any protective measures," Beth yawns and lies down again, hopefully to sleep.
Sally Jennings, heading for the big house, thinks, "Next time I wait till she's alone!"

Sally floats from room to room. Oh yes, there's Celeste back there sleeping. Leave her alone; she's magic. Over here in this roommm........Marilyn. Leave her alone; she's my only hope. Let's see what rooms are over here? Ohhhh, a woman I haven't met yet. Let's see how soft she is!
Sally gets right up close to the sleeping Eleanor and moans, waking Eleanor, who sizes up the situation right away. The temperature has dropped dramatically where the ghost is standing. Eleanor, never in the mood to be trifled with, grabs a lance that she keeps handy just behind the headboard and quickly runs it through where the ghost is standing.
"Get the hell out of here!" Eleanor yells, slams the lance back into its place behind the headboard, and lies back down.
This one isn't afraid of me! Could this one be tough, too? This one shows no fear. No fun trying to scare her! Enough for tonight.....
I wish I were in a human body again so I could lie down and sleep. I never get to sleep. All I get to do is prowl around and try to get what's mine. There has to be a way! There has to!


MOVE YOUR ASSETS.........by Terri

"Ready to go, Bobby Joe?" Billy Bob asked.
"Ready as I'll ever be! Let's go."
"We have a 10:00 AM flight, should get to Austin by 12:00."
"Is you mom expecting me?"
"Doesn't she always? They are staying at Donna's while there place is being repainted. So we're staying there too. Donna has room."
"Really. Donna won't mind?" Bobby Joe said.
"No. Donna's pretty sociable. Likes an adoring audience around her. But I don't know how I'm going to cope with both her and Mom. But I have to get this ranch signed over to Dad. Wanda Sue will be salivating and there is always a remote possibility that someone could talk Rosamond into trying to get something for the year she put in with me."
"I don't think Tequila Sunrise wants anything from you any more, Billy Bob. Not after that disappearing act. I mean, think about it! She's 22, and you made her go through a funeral. And it was a tragic one, too. Not many 22 year olds have their husband murdered."
"Regardless, I need to protect that property. Dad understands."
They boarded their plane and at 12:00, like Billy Bob predicted, they were in Austin. They got a rental car and headed out to Donna's place. They pulled up in front of Donna's place. Bobby Joe whipped his sunglasses off and said, "What a crib Lyle has!"
'Yeah, but mortgaged to the hilt!"
Billy Bob opened the door, stuck his head in and said, "Hey! It's us!"
Donna's heels clicked on the marble. "Oh! It's you! So you ARE alive!"
Billy Bob hugged her. "In the flesh!"
Donna looked over and her face coloured slightly. "Hello, BJ. How's it going?"
"Pretty good. I'm living at the ranch now, in the guest house."
"Oh, since Carolyn took you for everything?" She turned on her heel. "May as well come into the solarium. Mom is here. Dad went into town to get some legal papers."

Bobby Joe mouthed, solarium? Billy Bob mouthed back, a fancy-schmancy porch!
Mary Ellen Montgomery got up and walked over to her only son. Billy Bob reached out to hug her. She hugged him back and then slapped him upside the head.
"And what is the big idea of making yourself dead? The only good thing that came out of that is that you were able to get rid of that little tramp you married! According to the papers, she married that actor she was messing around with!"
"Mom..."
"Don't 'mom' me! Your father's law firm received papers from a Patrick O'Malley that she filed for and got an annulment on the grounds you never got a divorce from that piece of trailer trash Wanda Sue Skaggs! How could you be so irresponsible, William? At the age of thirty, I would have thought you would be thinking with your brain instead of another part of your anatomy!"
At this Bobby Joe started to laugh behind Billy Bob's back. "And don't you be snickering, too, Robert Joseph Austin! I've known your mother for 35 years. She wasn't happy when you married that Carolyn person, either!" Bobby Joe's face turned red.
Donna returned with a pitcher of martinis and some hor d'oeuvres.

Mary Ellen continued to berate Billy Bob. "I knew things weren't right between the two of you when I was up there. My goodness, I heard that fryingpan go flying into the door. And then that night she got home late from that rehearsal dinner? I thought the two of you were going to kill each other! So you take off for heaven knows what reason and she gets an annulment! And there you are stuck a divorced father!"
Bobby Joe started to say, "But...?"
Billy Bob silenced him with a look.
Donna said, "How did that Rosamond catch you after all?"
Billy Bob stretched out and said, "Hook, line and sinker, sis! She hooked me, fed me that old line, and I sunk!"

Mary Ellen pursed her lips and said, "Yes, she hooked him with the oldest line in the book. Why did you feel you had to marry her? Most men would have tried to pay her off! Or you could have solved your problem for about 350.00!"
"MOTHER!" Billy Bob was shocked.
Donna looked at Billy Bob and cocked her eyebrow. Neither one wanted to confess that they had seen Grandpere Pierre's will.
Just then Senator J.R. Montgomery came in. "I see a rental car out there, it must mean that the prodigal is home!" He and Billy Bob exchanged bear hugs and a clap on the back. J.R. looked over and saw Bobby Joe. "And I see he's brought his Siamese twin with him!" Bobby Joe and J.R. exchanged hugs, too.
Billy Bob said, "Did you get the papers?"
"Yes--let's get this cleared up and then we can relax. I don't think you can waste any time. I can get these papers filed by tomorrow morning."
Billy Bob and J. R. excused themselves. Donna offered to show Bobby Joe the grounds and Mary Ellen grabbed her purse and said she was on her way out to a DAR meeting.

J.R, shut the door to his office, sat back in his swivel chair and looked speculatively at his son. "I can't begin to tell you the hell you put your mother and me through. Good thing that Jameson called up and told us you were still alive. What did you do to make you run? Jealous husband?"
"No, Dad, nothing like that. Jameson had some hare-brained scheme about juicing the horses up. It's a long story and it backfired on us. Or so I thought. I'll tell you tonight over a glass of cognac. But due to our stupidity, I had went to Paris and then somehow Rose found out that I never got divorced from Wanda Sue. She used that information to get an annulment. Jameson found out from the source that she'd been having an affair with her ex-boyfriend, the one she married last week. I was one hour late from stopping it." J.R. looked up and saw the pain in his son's eyes.
J.R. sighed. "As much as I liked Rosamond, I could see you were a mismatch from the beginning and that it was only physical. But you got the baby out of it. Is she asking for child support?"
"No, Dad, and I don't expect her to. I think she wants me out of her life."
J.R. cleared his throat, embarrassed and touched that his son made such a confession to him.
"Ah, well, let's get your property all wrapped up and nice and safe, shall we? Let's see...we have the ranch..the Mercedes, the SUV, the Thunderbird, your truck...the horses, which are worth a pretty penny--at least!" At this they both laughed.
"....there is the contents of the safe...the bank accounts...what do you want to do?"
"I want to sign over all my assets to you. I'll sell you the ranch for ten dollars, the cars for a dollar a piece. I'll write a check to you for all the money in the savings account and I'll keep a minimum balance in a checking account to pay the bills."

J.R. kept taking notes. After a while, he said, "I'll go see the lawyer today. And I'll give you power of attorney in case God forbid something goes wrong, you can always access the files and get your stuff back. I AM 60--you never know if I may keel over with a heart attack."
For the next hour, they filled out papers and signed them. After they were done, they looked at each other, grinned, and Billy Bob said, "If Wanda Sue tries to pull any of this community propert stuff WHEN I get the divorce, all she'll have left is enough to buy a Big Mac and medium--not large!--fries at McDonalds. Unless she goes for the #1 combo meal!"
They both laughed, hugged each other and J.R. said, "DAMN! I'm so glad you're not dead!"

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