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Chapter XXI: The Tiger Prince
Tiger Prince
Copyright © Nene Thomas 1994.
I began by going at Alara's and, using my magical powers, I got back the gold chain I wanted to give back to Beauty. Even if I had made it for Sirli, it belonged to Beauty. I frowned: why the Hell had I thought that I had made it for Sirli? I had had the impression that I had done it before, but now, it was not an impression I had just had: it was a certainty! I was going crazy with this story! As I was leaving, I saw a silhouette arrive at the main door. Quite slim, even if his large shoulders contradicted this slenderness, I recognised him almost at once: it was Jerry. I hadn't the faintest idea of what the young forestry worker could do with Alara, but then, it wasn't my problem.
Then I went to Chyraz' temple. Fra Vestris was there, on the threshold, speaking with the young man called Tiger.
"So, what did say Jerry?" asked the priest.
Tiger shook the head.
"Nothing, more or less. In a word, he knows where she is, but refuses to tell it. He said he doesn't want to betray her trust."
Fra Vestris nodded understandingly.
"Quite true. The poor child has had already enough ordeals in her life like that. No need to add a betrayal to that. What can we do?"
"I don't know! He doesn't trust me, nor you, and said that since our lord has been able to turn against her, he has no proof that we won't do the same later."
"Sure, but then, your lord was a fool," I said, appearing suddenly near them.
They started violently and Tiger looked at me with undisguised interest.
"I don't understand why she preferred him to me, Fra Vestris," he remarked. "I'm more good-looking than he is, am I not?'
"Hush, Tiger!" Fra Vestris scolded him. "That's not the question to ask right now. Elan, dear child?"
The young boy rushed in his legs.
"Yes, father? What can I do?" he asked gleefully.
"Find Jerry and ask him to come here. I think our lord wants to speak with him."
"If I were you, I would begin by Alara's house," I said quite innocently. "But, of course, you're free to do as you want..."
"Is magic so damned curious?" asked insolently Tiger.
"Magic, no, but chance, yes," I retorted, shrugging indifferently. "Father, I know I behaved like a fool, but I want to make amends. Beauty doesn't have to flee I-don't-know-where to be free of my unrequited... attentions."
"Do you have the intention to become wise?" intervened again Tiger.
I had a brief smile.
"My goddess is the goddess of wisdom. I just hope it's not too late to knock some sense into me."
"Probably not, my lord," smiled Fra Vestris. "If you're able to see that, the situation is not that desperate."
I smiled in turn and turned to Tiger, staring at him with curiosity.
"I would like to know why I have the impression I should know you," I remarked.
"Better for me that you're amnesiac," muttered Tiger.
"I didn't mean to be hurting," I apologised immediately.
He shook the head.
"That's not that... Well... we had... huh... a disagreement about Beauty, not so long ago."
I sighed.
"Seems to me I had a disagreement with everybody about Beauty. Beginning with Beauty herself."
Elan was already coming back, running joyfully, followed by Jerry, who did one stride when Elan did three or four. His face became dark as soon as he saw me.
"Father, Tiger," he said and added quite reluctantly: "My lord."
"Jerry," I replied. "I would like to thank you for having stood for Beauty like you did last time."
This only sentence immediately put him out. He looked at me in wild disbelief and, from the corner of the eye, I could see that Fra Vestris was hiding a smile.
"My lord..." stammered Jerry out. "It was an honour for me... I mean... I didn't mean to be disrespectful, but..."
"There's no but, Jerry. I thought - and still think - that it was very courageous of you to stand against me this way. I was really impressed. A bit angry, perhaps, but really impressed."
The poor Jerry didn't seem to know what to do now. He was prepared to hear remonstrances, but certainly not to be praised like that. Thinking that he was tamed enough now, I tried to ask him my question:
"Jerry, do you know where I can find Beauty?"
Instantly, he became again the withdrawn forestry worker and his embarrassment disappeared at once. He hadn't opened his mouth that I knew already that I wouldn't have my answer.
"Yes, my lord. I know it, but I won't tell you. You did enough harm to her like that, without adding new ones."
"I just wanted to make amends," I explained quite pitifully.
"Let time do it for you, my lord. I would give my life to save yours, but if Beauty is in danger, I would rather kill you than let you approach her!"
I nodded.
"What is Beauty for you?" I asked curiously.
"I am her only family left, now that Jod is away. And she's my friend. Not just a mere acquaintance, understand me well, but a real friend."
"Friend with a capital F?" I suggested.
"Exactly. And I would do anything for her."
I nodded again, swallowing back the sigh coming to my lips. I was losing my time with Jerry, but then, it was an interesting conversation nonetheless.
"What were you doing with Alara?" asked Tiger, always the first to put his foot in it.
Jerry reddened.
"I don't really know," he admitted. "She seems to be willing to teach me how to read. And she says that if I learn quickly enough, she will teach all the illiterates in town."
"Quite a good work to start," commented Fra Vestris. "She intends to do it by herself?"
"Not really," replied Jerry, sounding more and more embarrassed. "I think... I think she counts on me to help her."
He looked down at his big hands and added helplessly:
"But why me? I'm only a forestry worker and I don't know anything, except how to use my axe!"
I intervened and my own words surprised me as much as they surprised Fra Vestris:
"No, Jerry, you know something else: you know how to care for Beauty and that's not that easy, for she has been hurt so many times that she has become very fragile. I think Alara won't let you return alone in your forests..."
"I'm only a forestry worker, my lord!" repeated Jerry, and in his eyes, a gleam of fear appeared.
I shrugged.
"You're born a forestry worker, but it doesn't mean you have to remain one for the rest of your life. And I have the impression that our dear Alara has the firm intention to make you become someone else."
"I'm too poor for that, my lord," objected Jerry and he looked like a fish caught in a fisherman's net.
I smiled gently.
"Oh no! If I have my word to say in that story, you won't be that poor when the moment will happen. If you choose this life, of course! I wouldn't force you for a bit..."
This time, it was no more fear in Jerry's eyes, but real panic.
"I... I think I'll go, now, my lord," he stammered out quite pitifully.
He almost ran away, without waiting for my answer.
"I think I terrified this poor boy," I said quite regretfully.
"You don't terrify him, my lord," grinned Fra Vestris. "But our Alara has a certain effect on him. I hope this will end under my very eyes..."
"I do hope so too, father," I added.
Then, I lost my smile and sighed.
"So I'm back at my starting point. I think I'll begin by the forest. It's Jerry's kingdom and it's more than probable that he has hidden her in it."
Tiger contemplated me quite curiously and said suddenly:
"I'll help you."
Stupefied, I looked at him.
"Why would you do such a thing?"
"You're not that bad and if she loves you, there must be a reason. I want to understand why she did prefer you to me."
"I'm sure you're wrong, Tiger," I said, a bitter smile twisting my lips. "You must confuse me with someone else. If Beauty loved me, I would know it, wouldn't I?"
"Not at all," intervened Fra Vestris, quite silent till then. "The interested persons are always the last ones to know about it. But Tiger could be of some use to you. He really is the Tiger Prince from the fairy tale."
"The legend, please, Fra Vestris!" protested Tiger, trying - quite unsuccessfully - to sound vexed. "I'm coming from a legend, not from a fairy tale! It's more flattering for my ego," he concluded with a disarming smile.
"That you have quite grand, your must admit it," Fra Vestris teased him.
"Even more than that," grinned evilly Tiger. "Now, are we going, old friend?"
I was quite surprised by his familiarity toward me, but then, he was a prince and I had other things to think that to take offence at his familiarities.
"Let's go, old chap," I retorted on the same tone.
He laughed heartily. Fra Vestris had a forced smile and said, as a goodbye:
"Be nice to Beauty... She's so very vulnerable..."
"I won't let anybody harm her," I promised him, "and I count on Tiger - perhaps a bit on myself too - to protect her from me, for I'm probably the worse danger for her," I added bitterly.
"Take courage - and patience - in your love," Fra Vestris advised me.
Then, the hand on Elan's shoulder, he entered his temple and Tiger and I were alone, ready to leave for the forest.
Before that, I demanded that we first went to my castle, for I had something to take. Hanging on my wall was a beautiful sword, shining like thirty-six suns. I was very proud of this sword and I knew to use it quite well. When I took it, I saw like a beam of the sun playing on the shining blade and I had the impression to see a gigantic beast trying to stab himself dead with this very sword. I was troubled. That was what I had thought to do more than once, but never had I had the courage. Had Beauty's beast tried to kill himself like that - or even done it?
Once my sword was at my side, Tiger and I left for the forest. The young stranger prince was a merry traveller companion and he even succeeded in making me smile once or twice. Fra Vestris had been right: Tiger was really coming from the legend, for he had the power to communicate with animals. He explained to me he preferred to do it with tigers, but he was perfectly able to do it with wolves. So he used his powers to find Beauty's tracks and we didn't lose too much time looking stupidly for it.
I continued to have my dreams, as regularly as before and sometimes, in the morning, Tiger said casually to me:
"You had quite a agitated night tonight, old friend."
"I just wanted to keep you awake," I retorted in the same tone.
We both laughed silly.
But one of those mornings, as I was still trying to know if I was human or beast, Tiger and I were attacked. Not by humans, but by wild beast, boars, to be exact. I was sure that this animal had a special meaning for me, but I couldn't remember which one. Once again, my memory was playing tricks to me. Roaring like the beast I still thought I was, I pounced on one of the bears. At the last moment, I remembered I was human and I drew my sword. Behind me I heard some fighting noises and I knew that Tiger had already engaged the enemy.
My boar was an old one, quite clever; far too much clever for me, in fact. Still in the mist of my dream, I was fighting half like a beast - and to my surprise, it was quite efficient - half like a human, and my sword left bloody marks on the boar's skin. As its fellow creature uttered its last cry, my boar decided that we were too strong for it and left the battlefield. I turned on my heels, to see Tiger, in strange new clothes, his eyes shining like stars, a long silver blade in hand. The dead boar was at his feet.
"Nice outfit," I just said, cleaning my blade.
"Thanks. Now, I'm really the Tiger Prince. Be careful, I'm back!" he added, laughing.
I smiled in return.
"And? Will it allow us to find Beauty faster?"
"Huh? Oh yes! She's not so far from here, you know."
"So why aren't we already near her?" I said, frowning.
"Because we had to fight boars," Tiger informed me gently.
"My boar..." I stammered suddenly out. "And Beauty... No, no! I won't let this happen again!"
"Again?" noted Tiger. "How's that, again?"
"That's not important!" I retorted, impatient. "Hurry up! We need to find her, right now!"
"Alright, alright, old friend. Give me two seconds to find her track back and then, let's go!"
Tiger hadn't lied: Beauty was really very near from us, so very near in fact that my boar, when leaving the battlefield, had found her on its way. My poor Beauty was in a pitiful state when we found her, drawn by the noises. I lost my mind when seeing Beauty in danger and, without bothering to draw my sword, I pounced on the boar. It suddenly seemed to me that my hands were powerful paws, armed with sharp claws. Perhaps I hadn't the beast's strength, but anger gave me some of it.
Beauty held back her cry when seeing me appearing like that before her. I knew Tiger was approaching to help me, but the boar and I were so furious, rolling on the floor like two little boys, that he didn't dare to intervene. That wasn't the right way for boars to fight, but I knew it wasn't a normal boar. In double exposure, I saw a fierce beast struggle against another boar in the same way, for Beauty who was watching the scene with horror.
"You won't have me!" I thought fiercely to the fairy, knowing fully she was responsible for all this. "Nor will you have Beauty!"
The boar was almost suffocating me, but, at the last moment, I called upon my magic and my hand became a fist of fire that burnt cruelly the boar's belly. The wild beast shouted with pain, but I only retorted by another blow. Three more and the boar died. I tried to stand up almost immediately, trying to understand what could have led me to fight like that, so wildly and fiercely. Then my gaze fell upon Beauty and I smiled lightly, before falling on the ground, unconscious.
I was lying on the ground, under my beast shape, and I knew I was dying. It was almost as if I felt my strength fleeing from my weakening body and it was so very painful... Beauty hadn't come back to my castle and I was dying. That was so simple! I couldn't live without her, but she didn't need me. I was doomed to die alone. I closed the eyes, trying to shelter from the sun; I wasn't used to live in the sun. The darkness of my castle suited me more than the sun. Why was I thinking that? I had always lived in the sun, hadn't I?
I was suffering from the wounds that the boar had inflicted to me. Quite strangely, if the worse happening to me in the real world was transferred in the dream world, that wasn't the case for the better: normally, Beauty should be near me, by my side, since I had found her again.
"So you want her near you?" whispered a venomous voice in my ear. "Are you so selfish that you want her to see you die? She already saw her beloved beast die and you want to impose her a new death!"
I wanted to be able to close my ears as I could close my eyes, but I was forced to hear this perfidious voice whisper to me horrors about Beauty, telling me, between others, how happy she was, far from me, in the arms of her beloved; according to this voice, Beauty hadn't the faintest idea what was faith to someone.
"Leave me alone!" I suddenly shouted. "You're lying to me! I know you're lying!"
"My lord?" said a soft voice questioningly. "You need me right now. I'll leave you later if you really want it..."
I opened the eyes. Beauty was bending toward me, her long red-russet hair loose and falling on both her shoulders and me.
"No," I whispered. "Don't leave me... ever..."
She reddened as I added softly:
"Please..."
I closed again the eyes, quite reassured. It was only a dream. Beauty was near me and so was Tiger. The fairy had lost once again!
"You're a fool if you think so," murmured the same perfidious voice in my ear. "Open the eyes and see the truth!"
In spite of me, I obeyed and what I first saw what the high tower of my dungeon. One movement of the hand and I knew I was under my beast shape. What was dream and what was reality? Was I the beast, ready to die, or the man, fighting to live? I knew with certainty that if the beast - me! - died, I would die too in the real word. I felt so weary, so dejected, I would have signed up immediately for my death. But still I had a hope, so tiny and so ridiculous that it couldn't be taken into account, the hope to see Beauty one last time.
Would I have had still the force, I would have hidden my head into my paws, to hide my shame: it was so selfish to wish that! Poor Beauty had already been afflicted enough like that without adding my death to it! True, she didn't care much for me, but seeing someone die under one's very eyes could affect everybody.
So the fairy had said that was the truth. Was I thus really a beast on the point to die? Then I took a decision: alright, I was a beast, but I still had my magical powers and I would fight the fairy until the end - quite near if I had to trust my weariness. I raised painfully the hand to cast one last spell, but then the slim silhouette running toward me was not the one of the fairy. My eyes were glassy, my sight quite misty, but I recognised her even so: Beauty, my Beauty, and she was running toward me.
"Praise be to thee, Shuqra, for that last moment!" I breathed.
"My Beast!" cried Beauty. "Oh, my Beast, please, please, don't die!"
"Beauty..."
It was the only word I managed to utter, but I was so happy that I didn't care: hearing Beauty using the possessive pronoun for me made me shivering almost uncontrollably.
At the very moment I saw death's door opening before me, something - or someone - tore apart the veil covering my memory and I remembered everything. I breathed heavily.
"No! No, not twice! Not again, not again!"
Twice I had seen death's door; I hadn't escaped it the first time, despite appearances, and I doubted very much I would escape it this time either.
I closed the eyes, holding back the desperate howl I wanted so much to let escape. Opening again the eyes, I saw Beauty and, behind her, Tiger. Through a thick mist, I heard Tiger ask:
"What is torturing him like that?"
"Say who!" retorted Beauty. "The fairy! She wants him... but I won't let her have him!"
I sank again in that fog that led me to the limits between reality and dream. I thought clearly, but I didn't know anymore who I was. I had been a Beast for so long! Had I really been freed of the curse or was it all a dream? I didn't know anymore but in both of them, Beauty was near me and that only mattered.
The mist thinned again and I saw Beauty, still begging me to live.
"The roses aren't dying, you can't die! You told me so, you promised me..."
"They'll die with me..." I succeeded in saying.
"No, no! You can't die, you can't!"
My little Beauty was so distressed that I fought to find back some strength and, with a clear voice, I asked:
"Why can't I die? Do you know how old I am and how weary?"
But before she could answer me, the mist whirled me again round and I was again in the forest, bleeding from the wounds caused by the boar. Beauty wasn't waiting idly, but under her hands a strange mixture was beginning to take shape. I distinguished something between green and brown and I frowned.
"You intend to put that on my wound?" I protested.
I saw her start and she looked at me with what seemed to be joy in her eyes.
"Oh yes! But if you don't want, I can find something worse," she retorted, her voice filled with hope.
The whirl of mist was coming back and I said quickly:
"You Puck!"
I closed the eyes again, hoping she would understand. I opened them in my garden, with another Beauty kneeling besides me. This one wasn't trying to heal me, as if she had forgotten everything. True, I already knew she was somehow amnesiac, but she had used her green witch powers to cure my roses! Why wasn't she trying to use them now to heal me? Then I understood: she was sobbing so heartbreakingly that she couldn't think clearly.
"Beauty, child, don't cry, please, I'm not worth one of your tears," I said gently, remembering that I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't give up, that I would fight until the end. "Why did you come back?"
She looked at me with a little face smeared with tears.
"You said you would die if I didn't come back..." she blurted out. "And I don't want you to die... But I came back only too late!"
Another sob escaped her now tight-pursed lips.
"Beauty dear, please, please..." I whispered. "Be brave, my love... Tell me now, why can't I die? Why do you deny me this right?"
This time the whirl of mist didn't intervene and Beauty, red as peony, answered bravely:
"What would I do without you?"
This answer so very simple left me speechless.
"What do you mean?" I said gently, as soon as I could utter a word.
"The skin is too torn," she replied matter-of-factly.
I blinked. I was back in the forest and Beauty was caring for me.
"You're quite lucky, huh? Hadn't it been the case, I would have sewn you."
"I'm not an old rug," I grumbled, knowing fully which game we were playing.
She smiled through the tears she was holding back.
"Too bad, I like to sew old rugs."
"Yes, yes, I know. Lots of stitches and with a rusty needle maybe?"
"You don't need my help to catch tetanus," she riposted. "You're old enough to do it by yourself."
I half-laughed and tried to straighten up, but she forced me to remain on the ground.
"You're far too weak, my lord," she said firmly and I shivered when I noticed that her hands were still on my shoulders: had she overcome her fear of contact?
She saw what I was looking at and she smiled again to me.
"Surprised, huh?"
"Quite a bit," I agreed.
Then I saw a second silhouette behind her; I was sure it wasn't Tiger. Even if the silhouette was quite familiar to me, I was totally unable to recognise it. Beauty followed my gaze and said quietly:
"It's Jod. He's here to help us."
"I'm not too well, aren't I?"
"You're extremely ill," she retorted. "If we can say that you're ill. You're seriously wounded and you're totally exhausted."
"The roses..." I said with a dreamy voice. "The roses... they are dying and my life flies away with theirs..."
Beauty froze instantly and I sent her a dreamy smile.
"As I will die soon, I'll tell you why I came for... I love you, Beauty, but I'm a fool, because I only had the courage to ask you to marry me when I didn't love you. And now that I know what I feel for you, I'll die... But that's for the better, because there is that beast. I know... that is, I think I was him. Or he was me, that's not really important. But now, I'm nothing like him; even under my second beast shape, I'm not like him and you do love him... I know how much you love him, for I still feel this love inside of me, and I know too you will never be able to love me as you love him. Am I making sense?"
Beauty moved the head, but I was totally unable to say if she had nodded or shaken it.
"When I came back to my senses, not so long after you left, I understood how selfish and cruel I had been with you and I was decided to make amends. Will you believe me if I tell you that as soon as I recovered my senses, I swore to myself that I would never steal your love from your beloved? Will you believe me?" I insisted.
"I believe you," Beauty retorted with a choked voice. "I know your heart."
"No, the heart you know is his, not mine. Though we are the same person, we don't have the same soul. His was a kind soul, a man's soul, but I have a beast's soul... Beauty..."
I never had the time to add anything else, for the mist came again a whirled me round, till my castle and the other Beauty.
"Hold on, my dear Beast, hold on," she whispered. "I don't know how to care for human beings, but I know how to care for roses... If you hold on, I can perhaps help you, relieve you!"
"No, Beauty dear, you can't do anything... Just stay by my side and all will be perfect. Even the power in the roses won't be enough now to sustain me. I'm too old, Beauty..."
"You're not old! Your heart is young, pure, strong!"
"How could you know, child?" I whispered bitterly.
"I know, because it's mine! You gave it to me, it's mine now, and I won't let you take it with you in death's kingdom! And if your heart stays with me, you better do the same!"
She was trying so hard to sound fierce that I couldn't help a smile. She smiled too, through her tears.
"That's is! Smile, laugh! When happiness and joy are here, life is nearby and death flees! Please, be happy, I'm here, now! And if you really want it, I won't leave you ever again..."
My view blurred and when it became clear again, I was back in the forest. Alone. I closed the eyes, trying to hold back the tears invading my eyes. I had just heard Beauty tell me that she would never leave me again and the real Beauty was gone... That was the proof I needed to be sure that the dream was a new torture sent by the fairy.
I looked at myself; my wounds were covered by that green-brown mixture, proof that Beauty had been there one moment or another. I moaned painfully as I tried to stand up. A shoulder came under my hand to help me and I recognised the slim face of Tiger. By my other side was Jod.
"Hold on, old friend," said Tiger, trying to sound firm and convinced. "We will take you back to your castle."
"What for?" I murmured bitterly. "She's gone forever, I won't see her again, let me die here, in the forest, like a beast..."
"You're not a beast, you're a man," said Tiger. "And a man doesn't die alone in the forest, especially when he had friends by his side."
"But she's gone! And she had said she would never leave me again..." I said as my voice broke.
Tiger didn't know what to answer and Jod, silent and rough, as usual, wasn't of any help to him. I didn't know how they managed to get me back to my castle, for I was unconscious during most of the trip, gaining in this unconsciousness the quietness I couldn't have otherwise. Tiger had a scout ahead, to warn my people and Stoat was ready for me when Jod arrived with me. She examined the plaster on my wounds, nodded with something like satisfaction, and ordered to take me to my bed. Once again, I lost consciousness, wishing fervently that I would never regain it again.
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Text © Azrael 2000.
Tiger Prince. Copyright © Nene Thomas 1994.
Set Hour Time, from Moyra/Mystic PC.
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