A dark red-haired girl walked up the steps into a large building. She was dressed simple enough, flared jeans and a t-shirt that read "Flying High" which had a plane soaring under the words.
"New job," she chanted under her breath casing a few stares from those exiting the building.
"Fly high!" she yelled at them, making them retreat fast.
She nodded her head in one fluent motion and ran into the door. She had been to busy yelling at people to notice she was up the stairs and at the doors.
"Fly high!" she swore at the door kicking it open.
It swung back swiftly and nailed her in the face. The person at the front desk in the building covered their mouth suppressing a grin. She finally managed the door and entered. She patted herself on the back at her new accomplishment.
"Can I help you," the receptionist said when she reached the desk.
"I'm here to apply for a job," she explained slamming her application on the desk.
"Your name?"
"My name is The Yumei Sugoi Kami-sama Sephiroth's Angel," The Yumei Sugoi Kami-sama Sephiroth's Angel explained.
"Uh…." The poor confused receptionist said.
"You may call me Angel," Angel told the woman.
"You are applying for a job," the receptionist said looking over Angel's papers.
"Yes I am!"
"We don't currently have any opening. But we will keep you in mind," the receptionist said politely.
"We have an opening," somebody said appearing to Angel's left.
Angel screamed and jumped into the air. The stranger that snuck up on her caught her easily.
"Don't do that," Angel screeched in the person's ear.
Angel adjusted her t-shirt and finally noticed that the stranger was still holding her.
"Put me down!"
"Whatever you say," the man dropped her on the floor.
Angel landed on her backside with a loud yelp.
"You said you were looking for a job and we have an opening," the man said. "Are you interested?"
"Of course," Angel said jumping up off the ground.
"Great! Our last person quit and we have been unable to locate her. Something about hospitals and applesauce was all the word we were able to get back," the man explained.
He began to walk down a long hallway and Angel followed him like an obedient dog.
"What's your name," Angel inquired.
"Just call me Moony," he said. "Here we are."
Angel smirked at the name and gazed at the door.
"What am I doing?"
"You are going to help so obsessed people. This is a help group," Moony explained.
"And these people need a lot of help."
"They must, that's one big heavy looking door," Angel commented rapping on the door with her knuckles. "Who am I helping?"
Moony unlocked the five locks and unbarred the two bars. "Harry Potter fans."
Angel frowned, "Harry who?"
Moony gave her a sharp look and opened the door. "You'll see." With that he shoved her into the room.
"Well you didn't have to be rude about it," Angel complained when the door shut.
"Good luck," Moony said his face appearing in the small window.
"Will do!"
Angel turned to the group of fans and gave them all big smiles.
"My name is The Yumei Sugoi Kami-sama Sephiroth's Angel. But you can all call me Angel for short," Angel said bouncing to her chair. "How about everybody sitting down and we start with intros."
The group gave her a strange look and eventually took their seat. The first person stood up and began to talk.
"Hello, my name is Margarita Salt, and I have problem… I am a die hard Harry Potter fan. Enchanted by the books I am… I can't help it! I'm addicted!"
"Welcome Margarita, we are here to help you," Angel said enthusiastically jumping out of her chair and giving Margarita a hug.
"Freak!" Margarita shrieked tossing Angel off her.
Angel bounced once on the floor and got back to her feet. "That I am. Next."
"Hello my name is Nonny Mouse, and I'm obsessed with Harry Potter because the characters are better people then most existing human I know. Note most," Nonny said next.
Angel nodded still smiling, "That's ok."
Nonny looked surprised, "Are you sure?"
"Positive. As long as you know they are not real, then everything is ok," Angel explained.
A silence swept through the room, Angel had said the magical phrase.
"Lets move on shall we," Angel smiled.
"Hello my name is Lyndred, I'm obsessed with Harry Potter because… uh… because its so great!" Lyndred coughed. "Harry Potter rules!"
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" something boomed overhead.
"This has been a reminder from Mad Eye Moody of… (static)… CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
"What was that," Angel asked climbing out from behind the chair where she had dove to in fright.
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" everybody in the room screamed.
"Got it. Next."
"Hello my name is Marion Lupin and I'm in love with Remus Lupin. Not a good thing, but, hey, what can you do? It's love," Marion said.
"Why is that not a good thing," Angel wanted to know.
"He's a werewolf," Marion explained.
"A werewolf? That's a new one," Angel said. "Next."
Somebody jumped to their feet and began to speak so fast Angel was having a hard time following them.
"Hello my name is All Mighty Me, and I'm not obsessed with Harry Potter. My Headmaster send me here, and I heard only few words out of what they were talking about. They said something about me being a public danger or a thingy like that. But seriously, I AM NOT OBSESSED with Harry Potter!"
"Then why are you here," Angel asked.
"Because they are forcing me to be here," AMM says whipping out a packet of sugar and a can of cheese-wiz (A/N….EEW!)
"What are you doing," Angel wonders.
"She's eating sugar and cheese, what does it look like," Lyndred says.
"Isn't that gross?"
Marion shrugs and Nonny just shakes her head.
"Ok, well next."
"Hello, my name is Malfoy's Girl and I'm a fan fiction writer. Is this the place where Draco Malfoy actually showed up? Give him me now! I know he's here and I need him now, he's so yummy and blonde and gorgeous and ohh soo delightfully bad," Malfoy's girl begins to laugh hysterically. She pulls out a Slytherin banner and sings Slytherin forever to Stars and Stripes forever.
Not too long the whole group is singing the song. Angel is trying to sing right along with them.
"Next!" Angel realizes she isn't doing her job and tried to stop the song.
"Hello my name is Morwen Parkinson, and I'm obsessed because at school I pretend to be Hermione, signing all my papers like her, looking like her, answering questions like her and so on," Morwen said.
"I've done something like that," a voice near the back said.
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
"That nice." That's sad, Angel thinks. But she puts on a smile and they move on.
"Hello my name is Lisa. When I saw the book, lying there on the glass table, it just called to me," Lisa momentarily breaks down into sobs then continues. "I-I couldn't help but to r-read just one line. Then I had to read two and then three. Pretty soon…."
Lisa begins to sob again and other fans go to comfort her. "I couldn't stop!" She sends a loud wail to the sky. "Now I have to keep miniature Harry Potter models in my pocket, that I made out of mash potatoes, just to get through the day! I CAN'T CONTORL MY HARRY POTTERLIMS!!!" Lisa begins to sob again.
She digs into her pocket and pulls out some mash potatoes that look curiously like dolls.
"May I see that?" Angel asks.
Lisa nods and hands over her dolls. Angel admires is and drool begins to collect at the right corner of her mouth.
"Mash potatoes," Angel drools. Without even thinking she shoves the dolls into her mouth and swallows.
"DRACO!" Lisa shrieks seeing the bitter end mash potatoes Draco meet.
She jumps out of her chair and stalks towards Angel. Malfoy's Girl is also on her feet.
"What?" Angel wants to know looking at all the weird stares she is getting.
"You ate Draco!" Morwen gasps.
"I ate mash potatoes! I didn't eat Draco, he's at some "Future Death Eaters of the World" meeting down the hall," Angel explains.
"Draco is in the building!" Malfoy's girl shrieks. "You must take me to him!"
"That Moony guy said he wouldn't let me out," Angel tells them.
"Moony?" Marion asks. "You mean Remus "Moony" Lupin! He's here too?!?"
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" The loud speaker booms again.
The yell shakes the very room, throwing people to the ground.
"Next!"
"Hi! Hi! My name is Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb! I'm obsessed with Harry Potter because the books are… um hold on…. Lemme think." Tweedle Dumb thinks really hard and smiled. "I just like them."
Tweedle Dumb gets off the floor and sits in her seat. Everybody else follows her example and gets back into their chairs.
Angel smiles and picks the mash potato Draco's arm out of her teeth.
"Hi my name is Greencat, and I'm obsessed. Well I first started reading Harry Potter just before the third book came out. I read the first book in two days… I …. I couldn't get enough of it! I began to memorize whole sections, frantically searching the web for anything Harry Potter related, barely making it from one fan site to the next," Greencat sobs and sits down again.
"That's ok Greencat," Angel says with a smile. "We are here to help you."
Greencat is typing madly on a laptop. Apparently looking for other web pages.
"Ok…. Next."
"Hi, my name is Tricia, and I'm obsessed with Harry Potter because he is good-looking, and brave, and I read all the books fifty-something times," Tricia said holding a battered looking copy of Chamber of Secrets.
"Well Draco is better looking," Nonny says.
"No way! Harry," Tricia says. "What do you think All Mighty Me?"
"I'M NOT OBSESSED!" AMM screams ransacking the food table.
"Don't deny your obsession," Margarita told AMM.
"But you are here," Lisa says.
"Donut!" Tweedle Dumb screams seeing the piles of sweets.
There is a mad stamped for the donuts. All but one person is left sitting in their chair.
"What about you? Are you obsessed with Harry Potter," Angel asks the person left sitting.
"I'm KB and I brought radioactive jell-o!!!" KB gives Angel a big grin.
The ground shakes as everybody goes over to check out the radioactive jell-o. They all crowd around KB poking at the jell-o.
"Wow," Lisa observes.
"Where can I get some," Tricia asked.
"That is so cool," Greencat said.
"I WANT SOME!!!!" Tweedle Dumb screamed.
Soon everybody was demanding to have their own radioactive jell-o.
"Can we continue," Angel asked.
People mutter something under their breath and sit down.
"Hello my name is Psycho Lizard, and I have a pyromaniac clone."
Angel raises her eyebrow at Psycho Lizard. "What?"
"What? This isn't Cloned People Anonymous?" Psycho Lizard questions.
"No this is Harry Potter Anonymous."
"Oh, then I guess I'll start over. My name is Psycho Lizard and I am obsessed with Harry Potter. But you people can call me Psy. I guess my obsession is 'couse," Psy takes a big breath. "I LOVE LEE!!!!!"
The big door swings open and everybody watches it with awe.
"It's magic," Lyndred whispers.
"No its Moony," Angel explains.
"REMUS!" Marion screamed making a mad dash for the door. A girl walks in and the door closes. Marion rams right into the door and bounces off with a funny look.
"Birdies," Marion giggles and passes out.
"Sorry I'm late! My name is Pyro Sarah and I'm a clone," Pyro Sarah greets the group. Psy began to giggle softly. Soon she was on the floor laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.
"What's so funny? Psy, you said this was Cloned People Anonymous!!!! Grr."
"Ack!" Sarah tackles Psy.
"Well now that we know everybody lets begin," Angel says ignoring the two people fighting on the floor. "First lets talk about Draco Malfoy. What is it about him that draws you?"
Malfoy's Girl jumps to her feet and begins to talk, "He is by far the best character in the entire series. He's so cool and collected. He's always got something unique. Plus the fact that he's really handsome and oh so yummy!"
"Do you have a picture," Angel asks.
"Of course," Malfoy's Girl says. "I never leave home without one!"
She pulls it out and everybody peers over to get a good look. Lisa sniffles at the memory of her now eaten Draco mash potato doll.
Angel admires the picture and Malfoy's Girl tries to take it back.
"I just want to look at it a little longer," Angel insists.
"Fine," Malfoy's Girl sits back down keeping a close eye on her picture.
Psy and Sarah are still fighting on the ground and have taken out a big table in the back.
"I love Lee! He is just so awesome, the way he commentaries the game is just amazing," Psy yells putting Sarah in a headlock.
"What games?" Angel asks.
"Why the Quidditch games of course," Morwen explains.
"What is Quidditch?"
"Why Quidditch is the best game in the entire world," AMM says. "BUT I'M NOT OBSESSED!!!"
"That's so nice to know," Angel said tuning AMM last line out. "Explain Quidditch to me."
KB distracted herself from her radioactive jell-o, which was now glowing and growing in size, to explain Quidditch. "Well Quidditch is a game in the wizard world. They all play on brooms up in the air. There are different balls, a Snitch, a Bludger, and Quaffle. There is a seeker, beaters, chasers, and a keeper. Its like Muggle soccer only more advanced and in the air."
Angel was staring open mouthed at KB.
"Wow."
"Both Harry and Draco are Quidditch players," Nonny said eyeing the growing jell-o suspiciously.
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
"Why does that keep happening," Angel asked.
"Because there was a Mary Sue sighting just a few weeks ago," Tricia explained.
"What's a Mary Sue?"
"Mary Sue's are evil people. They are so perfect it's unbelievable and they don't belong in stories. But some stories make them work like 'Too Perfect'," Tweedle Dumb said. "What's 'Too Perfect'?"
"It's a shameless plug the author is putting into our HPA meeting," a voice said over the intercom.
"Mad Eye Moody?"
"Yes it is I! The real Mad Eye Moody, the one that was locking in a box for almost an entire year because some punk Death Eater thought they could get the better of me that stupid like beep!"
"Uh…CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
There is a large explosion and everybody is covered in jell-o.
"My jell-o!" KB screams looking at the remains to the strange substance.
(A/N…..I'm running out of ideas ^_^ Song time!)
Everybody gets into a big line and begins to sing random stuff.
"We are the fans!" AMM starts.
"Of the greatest book of all time!" Lyndred sings.
"That's called Harry Potter!" Psy and Sarah sing still throwing punches at each other.
"Yet should be called Draco Malfoy!" Malfoy's Girl sings.
"I love Remus!" Marion sings.
"And Lee too!" Psy sings.
"My jell-o exploded at an HPA meeting!" KB sings mournfully.
"I'm addicted to the book!" Margarita sings.
"You can call me Hermione," Morwen sings.
"Or an overly obsessed fan!" Nonny sings.
"We will rid the world of Mary Sue's!" Lisa sings, busy constructing new Harry Potter dolls out of donuts.
"Death Eaters and the like!" Marion sings.
"The Internet is my home!" Greencat sings shaking her lap top. "Upload page! I order you!"
"Fanfics we will write!" Tweedle Dumb sings.
"METMA we will join!" Tricia sings. (A/N: Viva La METMA!)
Angel jumps to her feet, "I must admit, I've been hooked! Give me book, NOW!"
The group of fans welcomes Angel, giving her big hugs and handing her copies of the book.
"Lets go get that evil Mary Sue!"
"Yeah!" Everybody cheers Angel and they force their way out of the room.
"Draco," Malfoy's Girl demanded to know.
"Lets go get Malfoy!"
The group of people go off the search for the "Future Death Eaters of the World" meeting. Somebody has come to investigate.
"What is going on here," Moony asks.
"We have won supreme!" AMM screams insanely.
"Remus!" Marion shrieks catching sight of him.
"Not again!"
Moony makes a mad break for it with Marion hot on his heels.
"Get back here!"
The group, minus Marion, head off in the direction of a big black door. The two people in dark black cloaks standing at the door see the group coming and make a break.
"Wimpy Death Eaters," KB screams at their retreating backs.
They break down the door with some magical spell called "Breaking Doors"™ and drag a kicking and screaming Draco Malfoy out of the room.
"I don't want to wear leather! I just want to be a Death Eater and kill people," Draco screams as they force a leather jacket over his head.
"You can wear leather and kill people," Lisa says.
"Oh, ok."
Draco snuggled up into his leather jacket and walked behind the group of girls.
"I caught him," Marion said triumphantly returning.
Moony was gagged and tied up, looking rather frantic. He turned wild eyes to Angel, hoping to be let free.
"Moony!"
Five people glomp onto Moony all at one time.
"We love you Moony," AMM yells. "But, I'M NOT OBSESSED!"
"I'm obsessed!" Pyro Sarah yells.
"I don't know you, but I love you," Lisa says glomping Moony's leg. Nonny, Lisa, and Margarita are fighting each other trying to get a hold of Moony.
"He's mine," Lisa screams.
"No! He's mine!"
"MINE!"
Marion's face it turning a funny shade of red.
"You want me to kill them for you," Draco asks.
"Yes."
Draco pulls out his wand and Pyro Sarah, AMM, Lisa, Nonny, and Margarita go the way of the, dead things.
"Draco!" Malfoy's Girl screams.
"What," Draco says turning to her.
"You just killed them," Malfoy's Girl says. "I'm so very proud of you. Your very first kill."
Malfoy's Girl is beaming like a proud person.
"I get dibs on Lisa's dolls," Angel says searching for the donut dolls.
"Lets go get that Mary Sue!"
"YEAH!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eve is sitting in her nice padded room listening to Issa rant on about something.
"Ron is one of the best characters in the entire book. He is by far one of the greatest characters the world has ever seen," Issa says. She continues to rant on about how great Ron is.
A fly is flying around Eve's head and she jumps to her feet chasing it around her room.
"Here fly! I want to name you Trevor and love you and hold you and KILL YOU!"
Eve gets an insane glint in her eye.
"Eve you have visitors," that nice witch that brought Issa her daily supply of applesauce said.
"Visitors?"
A very familiar face appeared in her view.
"DRACO MALFOY!!!" Eve screams.
Eve runs right into the back wall and through it. Leaving one of those nifty cartoon looking holes in the shape of her body.
"What should we do now?"
"Lets go write insanity fics!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Deep in her lair Allex is keeping a close eye on any METMA member that mentions the word 'Insane' and 'Fic' in the same sentence.
"Trying to steal my award are you," Allex wonders.
"Wellyoucan'tbecauseitisIAllexwhomustalwayswintheinsanityawardsbecauseIaminsane!!!!"
Allex gives an evil laugh insert evil laugh here and goes to thwart the plans of the people. But that's another story!
Allex turns to the author, "ItbetterbebecauseIamtheonlyoneentitledtowriteinsanity!!!"
"Can you talk in normal sentences?"
"THATWOULDN'TBEINSANE!!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authors Note: This went weird…. Very, very, very, VERY, weird. I usually run out of steam on the second chapter of stories like this and then am back to being weird and strange by the third chapter. When I run out of idea I just throw in random stuff ^_^ Please don't run away…. Come back! (dead silence) Well for whoever stuck around, reviews are nice! Got so freakin tired of the mistakes with the formating with HTML with this chapter I just put it in txt... ah good ol' text!
Disclaimer: Nobody belongs to me. Not even Angel or Eve. For anybody wondering what Angel's full name is it's The Great Amazing God Sephiroth's Angel. Not even Sephiroth drools is owned by me…. He belongs to Squaresoft.
Note to Margarita: I totally forgot about you!! I'm so sorry. After going over the story I realized you only had like two lines! I threw in some random lines for you…. I'm really sorry.
REVIEW!!!
