It was a large building in the middle of a small town. Inside the building various meetings were in session. The halls were almost empty except a short girl walking into walls every minute or so.
“Eve, Eve we need your help,” a man yelled running up to Eve.
Eve giggled, stuck her foot out and the man went flying. He crashed into a wall some way down the hall.
“Yes,” Eve inquired, not going to the man’s aid.
“We have a job for you,” he said scraping himself off the wall.
“Really, a job?” Eve asked excitedly.
“Yes, some obsessive fans need serious help,” he explained.
“You know you look very familiar,” Eve, commented, dancing around him as they walked down the hall.
“Everybody says that,” the man said adjusting his glasses, and smoothing his wild black hair. “Why are you dancing?”
“Cause I got a job,” Eve said breaking out into a tango with some invisible person.
“Right,” he mused.
They reached a door just as Eve began to Riverdance across the hallway.
“Lord of the Dance,” Eve proclaimed loudly.
“We’re here,” he said.
Eve stopped dancing and raised one eyebrow at the door. It was a large white door with a bar across it. There were also three large locks on it.
“Uh…” Eve stumbled.
“You will be working with HP fans,” the man said unbarring the door.
“HP?” Eve asked. Suddenly her eyes grew big overtaking her small face. “Harry Potter fans? No please anybody but them, they are insane!”
The man unlocked the first two locks with a large brass key that was trying to fly away. “They’re only a few insane ones today. You’ll be fine.”
The man unbolted the last lock. He opened the door wide enough for Eve to fit through and shoved her in. Eve heard the door slam shut and the locks were locked again. They’re a total of fourteen people in the room. Each clutched a copy of Harry Potter to their chest. They would occasionally growl or snap at anyone that got too close to their books.
“Hi,” Eve said cheerfully. “Why doesn’t everybody take a seat.”
The fans sat down and Eve smiled. This isn’t that hard, she thought. But introductions were still to come.
“Lets introduce ourselves,” Eve instructed taking a seat.
A girl stood up, her eyes fidgeting around the room. “Hello my name is Bella and I’m obsessed with Harry Potter. He’s da bomb! Why else would I be obsessed.”
Bella sat down only to instantly jump to her feet and shriek at the top of her lungs. “Harry and Ginny for eva!”
Eve smiled and dug at her ear, trying to return her hearing. “Next.”
The person sitting next to Bella rose to their feet. “My name is Dark Crystal and I…. I’m a Harry Potter stalker… and…. and…. I’m here to meet other people with the same problem.”
Crystal took a seat.
“You’re a stalker,” Eve asked skeptically.
Crystal dug into her bad and produced eight restraining orders. “Yes, I’m a stalker.”
Eve gaped then finally found her voice. “We are here to help you.”
Crystal dove out of her chair and hugged Eve’s legs. “Thank you! Thank you!”
Eve smiled and tried to pry Crystal off her legs.
“Why don’t we move on.” Eve dug a crowbar out of her bag and used it to detach Crystal.
“Hello my name is Ginny Malfoy and I am an obsessed fan of Harry Potter. I can’t stop reading them, and I fear my real-life world will disappear if I don’t cut down and it will turn into his world,” Ginny has said this entire thing with her nose buried in a book.
Eve was finally able to get Crystal to sit back down and watched Ginny and she flipped the page in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
“Why don’t you put the book away for the meeting,” Eve said.
“Can’t. Dragons. Firebolt.”
Eve calmly rose to her feet walked over to Ginny and removed the book from her hands. A gasp went up from the members of the meeting. Maybe that will help, Eve thought turning back to sit down.
“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Something latched onto Eve’s back knocking her to the floor.
“Give it back!” Ginny screamed scratching at Eve’s back.
“Fine!” Eve handed Ginny her book.
Ginny muttered something incoherent and took her seat, going right back to reading her book.
Eve crawled back to her chair and climbed onto the seat. “Next,” she croaked.
“Hello, my name is Lindsay and I have a problem. I have not gone one day since October without saying Harry Potter at least ten times. I spend my hours after school on the Internet reading Harry Potter fanfiction. My friend Emily Dixon is often found muttering to herself, “What have I done?” She was the girl who told me to read Harry Potter. And now look what’s happened to me. I’m not in a meeting to help me not be so Potter crazy. But I doubt it will work. I’m really only here for the free donuts. Thank you.”
Lindsay walked over to the table pilled high with donuts and shoved as many into her mouth that could fit. She calmly returned to her seat and gave Eve a big donut filled smile.
“Next.”
Eve was starting to worry. These fans just kept getting weirder and weirder. The next person rose to their feet smiling. A sane one, Eve wondered.
“Hello, my name is Kira Maxwell, and I’m just totally obsessed over the Slytherins and I dream about everyone every night!” Kira suddenly burst into tears and buried her face in her hands.
Or maybe not. A few people patted Kira on the back; each sporting a shirt that read “Hail Slytherin” It was an eerie sight in Eve’s mind.
“Hello, my name is Bouncing Ferret’s Girlfriend,” Eve raised an eyebrow at the name and decided not to ask. “And I have an obsession with Harry Potter. It all started harmless enough, until I was introduced to Draco Malfoy. Then things went downhill.”
A collective sigh went through the room at the mention of Draco Malfoy.
“My name is Madgirl Insane and I’m obsessed with Draco! Draco in leather, Draco in potions, Draco wearing dress robes, DRACO!!” Madgirl sits down and Eve is forced to pass out the drool buckets.
“Next,” Eve instructs digging out more drool buckets. This is so degrading; Eve thought one minute I’m working with “Help, I love Cloud!” group, now I’m with these freaks. Eve contemplates going back to work with the sane people like Casey. Eve shakes her head remembering Casey isn’t any better.
“Next,” Eve says again.
There is silence and all eyes turn to a girl who is shoveling something into her mouth. She looks up and smiles. “My name is Issa and I just wanted to say. You know, this applesauce is a lot better that the applesauce at the crazy house.”
Issa goes back to feeding her face.
“Are you obsessed with Harry Potter,” Eve asked.
“Yes,” Issa said between spoonfuls.
“Why?”
Issa looked up at Eve and smiled. “Because I am.”
Eve went to say “Next” but somebody was already on their feet. They began talking without waiting to be told.
“My name is Hermione19, and I’m a Potterholic.”
Eve started to greet her but Hermione19 wasn’t done talking.
“I read all the Harry Potter books as soon as I could get my hands on them and loved every minute of it. I already liked to read, but this was something else. I read them over and over again – something I’ve never been able to do with anything else. They just could not get boring.”
Eve nodded and instructed the next person to start. But Hermione19’s voice stopped her.
“My sister loved the books as much as I did, and we both pulled each other deeper into obsession. We made our own Harry Potter pictures, board game, Daily Prophet, everything. Then my sister discovered fanfiction.net and the fun really began. Soon I was churning out a short story or cliché every few days, having made the wonderful discovery that I could write – and write well. I joined DSE, METMA, and just generally everything you could join. I LOVED fanfiction!
Fanfiction, in fact how I entered one of the most damning stages of Harry Potter obsession: the crush-on-a-character. I was writing yet another fanfic when I suddenly wondered what would happen if I put in Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter from when they were teenagers, like me. I had never really given these characters a thought before, but as soon as I had imagined Sirius Black at fourteen years of age, the truth hit me. I LOVED HIM! I put aside all previous flirting with Harry and became a devoted groupie of Sirius. I even got into fights to the death (have you ever read The Wrath of Padfoot’s Gal?) to those who I thought were stealing him.
By this time I knew I was obsessed, but I just didn’t care anymore. I was in over my head and it was more familiar to me than being normal. I spent many sleepless nights thinking of quitting, of trying to reconnect with the outside world, but then I would simply think, “Why bother?”, roll over, and get some rest. Many considered me a hopeless case.
But now that I’ve joined Harry Potter Anonymous, I’ve seen the truth – I’ve seen that it is possible to come out of the depths of obsession alive and intact and I’ve seen that there really are people who care…”
Hermione19 burst into tears and sits down. Somebody pokes Eve with a stick and she wakes up with a start. “Cloud over here please,” she yells jumping to her feet.
People in the room give her strange looks and Hermione19 only continues to sob. Eve sees the sobbing Hermione19 and frowns.
“Did I miss something?” Eve asked.
“Hermione19 is obsessed with Harry Potter just like the rest of us,” Bella explains simply. Putting Hermione19’s ten-minute speech into one simple sentence.
“Don’t worry Hermione19, we are here for you,” Eve says stifling a yawn. “Next.”
“Hello my name is Clio Potter and I’m obsessed with Harry Potter,” Clio sits down.
“Why,” Eve asked.
“I don’t have to tell you why. I just am!” Clio yells. “I need help!”
Eve shrunk back and nodded. “Next.”
Somebody rose to their feet and nodded to the group. “Um… hi, my name’s Tualha, and before I heard of Harry Potter I had no life. Then I became addicted. Now, I have even less of a life than before.”
Tualha returns to her seat and the groups instantly pat her on the back.
“That’s all right Tualha, we understand,” Madgirl says.
Just two more people, Eve smiled at that thought.
“We are here to help,” Eve told Tualha.
“Hello, my name is Seagull and I’m a Harry Potter addict because I just can’t stop writing fanfics. Especially Draco/Hermione. I need help!”
Seagull holds up a banner that reads ‘Draco and Hermione forever!’ and waves it around proudly.
The last person rises to their feet and Eve smiles.
“Hello my name is Angie and I’m addicted to Harry Potter because Dumbledore is a stud,” Angie sits down licking her lips with a grin.
“But why Dumbledore, he’s so old,” Eve wanted to know.
“You don’t here me complaining about all the James’ fans and he’s dead,” Angie explained.
“I see what you mean. Now that we know who everybody is why don’t we begin,” Eve said.
“Wait!” A person sitting at the end jumps to their feet. “You forgot me! My name is *~A White Rose Petal~* and I’m also obsessed with Harry Potter! I think Draco and George Weasley have something to do with my obsession”
“Ok, well welcome. Now lets deal with the first issue. Harry Potter is just a book.”
A hushed silence fell over the group. They all looked at Eve with wide eyes.
“No it’s not,” Kira said.
“Yeah! It’s real,” Ginny backed her up, still reading her book.
“I hate to be the one to break it to you all, but they are just characters in a book,” Eve explained.
“NO!”
Suddenly, without warning, Eve was smothered by the large group of fans. They had all jumped out of their chairs and each was trying to get a hold of Eve before the other could.
“Take it back!” Lindsay yelled yanking on Eve’s hair.
“Its real!” BFG screamed pulling on Eve’s left leg.
“You lie!” Clio was clawing at Eve’s right arm.
“You’re crazy,” Issa said, from where she sat still eating her applesauce.
“Draco doesn’t exist,” Eve, insisted.
Madgirl latched onto Eve and began to scream like crazy.
“Draco does exist! He does! DRACO IS REAL!!!!”
Rose Petal had grabbed donuts off the table and was trying to shove them into Eve’s mouth. “It’s not true!”
“I have retraining orders to prove they are real,” Crystal shrieked waving them in Eve’s face.
Maybe I should take a different approach, Eve thought as she spit the donuts out.
“All right, all right! I was wrong, Harry Potter does exist,” Eve, shouted.
As suddenly as it had began it stopped. The fans returned to their seats mumbling apologies. Eve returned to her chair and smoothed out her clothes.
“Lets talk about the characters. You all have your own favorite character. Some like Harry, while others like Draco and a few are obsessed with Dumbledore.”
Angie grinned and Eve shuddered. That is just so weird!
“What is it that draws you to the characters? Their personalities or perhaps the fact that they are just so cute?”
Hermione19 jumped to her feet. “I love all the characters! Especially Sirius! He is just so great! He’s really cute and the whole wrongly accused thing is just so cool. Plus he was really great during his school years. I mean can’t you just imagine Sirius stalking the halls with that big grin on his face. Causing trouble for all those dumb Slytherins!”
Kira jumped to her feet, “The Slytherins are not dumb! Draco is not dumb!”
A huge uproar began from all the Draco fans supporting their man!
“Well Draco wasn’t in school the same time Sirius was,” Hermione19 explained.
“Oh, right,” Kira sat down.
“I understand you are obsessed with Sirius and we will help you,” Eve said kindly.
“But I don’t not want to be obsessed with Sirius! I love Sirius! Nobody can compare to him.”
Hermione19 continued to rant about how great Sirius was and occasionally other fans would nod. Eve was beginning to get fed up with it all.
“ITS NOT REAL!” Eve screamed jumping to her feet. “YOU PEOPLE ARE THE WORST FANS EVER!!!! YOU ARE TOTALLY OBSESSED AND YOU SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME!!!! IF I EVER RAN INTO YOU ON THE STREET I WOULD SICK VOLDEMORT ON YOU!!!!”
Eve sat down calmly and waiting for the fire. Fourteen jaws were hanging open.
“You said you would help us,” Clio said.
“Please help us,” Issa said not even pausing to stop eating her applesauce.
“We need help,” Madgirl insisted.
“Help,” Rose Petal said.
“Help,” Bella said.
“Help,” Tualha said.
“He….” Seagull trailed off. “She said He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! She a Death Eater trying to stop us from loving Harry Potter! Get her!”
“I am not,” Eve, insisted. “I’m just trying to help you, really I only want what’s best for you.”
The group contemplated this thought for a moment.
“MARY SUE!” Hermione19 screamed.
“Attack!”
Each of the fans slowly rose to their feet, pulling wands out of their pockets. Very scary and real looking wands that were being pointed in Eve’s direction.
“I’m just trying to help,” Eve insisted.
“You failed,” Bella and Tualha told her.
“For your failure and non belief in Harry Potter we must punish you,” Hermione19 explained.
“I told you it wouldn’t work,” Lindsay told Eve, aiming her wand at her.
Eve launched her self at the door and bounced off it harmlessly. She jumped to her feet and began to scratch, pick, and punch the solid door.
“Let me out!!! I don’t want the job! I change my mind! Mr. Man That Gave Me The Job please come and save me,” Eve screamed, staring desperately out the tiny window.
A face appeared in the window all grins. It was a familiar grin, trademark of a Marauder.
“Sirius Black,” Eve muttered, not believing what she was seeing. “Let me out!”
“I don’t think so. You don’t believe in us,” Sirius explained still grinning.
“I will. I’ll believe anything you tell me, just let me out!”
Eve continued to claw at the door trying to get away from the advancing obsessive fans. A familiar blonde headed person appeared behind Sirius accompanied by an even familiar black hair boy with a scar.
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy grinned at Eve and laughed. I’ve got it!
“Look, Harry, Draco, and Sirius are outside the door!” Eve screamed pointing out the small window.
“WHERE!!!”
The large mass of fans shoved Eve aside each fighting for a place at the window. Eve didn’t even give her next action a second thought. She grabbed a chair and threw it through the only window in the room. The chair shattered the glass and Eve climbed through the window.
She landed on the ground and stood to run. But before she could make a mad dash for the airport and the first plane out of this weird place she noticed the advancing shadows. A very large amount of advancing shadows.
“You don’t believe in Harry Potter,” Fyrn Lupin told Eve.
“We are the members of METMA,” Queen Helios explained.
“You are a non-believer,” KrissyKat said.
“You shall suffer,” over 210 voices yelled.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Eve ran screaming from the METMA members as fast as she could.
It had been three weeks since that terrible incident with the Harry Potter fans. Eve had tried to help them, but had come out more insane then any of them. Eve was strolling through the book story searching for self help books. Eve was so busy reading over the back cover she ran right into somebody.
“I’m sorry,” Eve, said picking her books up off the ground.
“That’s all right,” a girl said kindly. “Hey you look really familiar.”
“People say that all the time,” Eve lied.
“No wait, I’ve met you before!”
Eve smiled and began to back up slowly. She was getting a strange feeling from this girl.
“You’re Eve! My name is METMA Mandy I’m a Harry Potter fan, I’ve only seen you. We’ve never met,” METMA Mandy said.
METMA? “METMA? I’ve never heard of that,” Eve lied again.
“Sure you have! Listen the whole group is here buying new Harry Potter stuff. I’m their founder. Come on I’m sure they would be glad to see you again. Hermione19 won’t shut up about you. She keeps muttering about spells and something not being real,” Mandy said.
Founder, spells, Eve didn’t even wait to hear anymore. She saw the being group of people heading her way.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Eve threw her books in the air and ran as fast as she could from the bookstore.
Mandy watched her run away. “Strange girl.”
Eve walked into the building twitching violently. She went right up to the front desk and waited to be helped.
“Can I help you,” a witch behind the desk asked.
“My name is Eve and I would like to admit myself to St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.”
The witch frowned. “But you’re a Muggle.”
Eve nodded. “I ran into some very obsessive Harry Potter fans.”
The witch jumped to her feet and comforted Eve. “Right this way dear, we have a lovely room right next to a sweet girl named Issa. She just loves applesauce.”
Eve followed the smiling witch and wondered, why do applesauce and that name sound so familiar?
Authors Note: What happened there? Poor Eve, I guess you don’t want to mess with those Harry Potter fans. They can be rather dangerous. I just want to thank all the wonderful METMA members that sent in e-mails helping me with my story. If you are not a METMA member or didn’t send anything in just e-mail me. I’m already starting to work on Chapter 2. All those that did e-mail and weren’t mentioned you will be in Chapter 2, I promise!
Disclaimer: All METMA members belong to themselves. Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, and the hospital with the long name belong to J.K. Rowling. Eve belongs to my friend Eve*Angel!
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