Luxury that we call time
Mood:  down
Topic: melancholy evening
oh great ! what a start... at the very least IT IS a start.I am a 25 year old female, live in nyc,have a husband who adores me , 2 beautiful kids ...It does not sound that bad right? Until i get to the problem part.I never had a diary and i was never known to share any of my emotional or physical xperiences with others ...Which brings me to right here /right now.Why am I sharing this? Mostly , I need to face everything that i kept locked away for many years , to re-discover crystal as a person,wife ,mother ...The truth is that I dont know who I am anymore. I know a miserable,impossible to deal with ,selfish junkie.I dont remember Crystal. But I know that I want to forget todays Crystal.I have to deal with it and forget it..And if in the process I can touch someone and somehow show people what this shit is all about,then I can at least say that I did not just forget . I have a lot of debts to pay . To my family , friends , everyone that i've hurt in the past 10 years . There is too much pain,both emotional and physical. It cant be done and over with just like that. Dear God ,give me that luxury that we call time. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. This is it for now .
God bless , Crystal