Title: Maybe.. Just Once
Title: Kev/Nicky, AJ/Brian
Author: Jules
Feedback: Send Here
Rating: Im'a say R... don't understand that NC-17 stuff
Disclaimer: If the first part never happened... then this part sure as hell never happened... Just something I came up with while in an elevator and ran with it...
Chapter 16~Howie~
Okay. I've decided that this all ends here. I've talked to Kevin and we've come up with a plan. AJ's miserable. Brian's even more miserable and they're making me miserable. I'm walking past Brian's room and I hear him on the phone. Yelling. At her. Again. This ends NOW! I stroll on down to AJ's room and knock hard. He opens the door and instantly I know he can hear Brian's fight. He looks like shit and my heart softens a bit. I understand how hard this is on him. I mean, I've seen how he tries with Brian but each time is shot down harder than the last. If I were him I'd have given up by now. When Brian came knocking at my door at 3am I'd shut the door in his face and tell him to fuck off. But then again, I don't love him like AJ does.
"Bone. We need to talk." I say walking past him into the room.
"I'm not in the mood D. Just leave me alone." I don't think he's slept in a while. And his eating has become almost nonexistent.
"I don't care if you're in the mood. Just listen then." Nothing is going to get in my way of telling him what I have to say. "Brian's in love with you. It's so clear." I see him gasp. He sits down and puts his head in his hands.
"D?" He whispered. I know how confused he is right now and I walk over to him. Place my hand on his shoulder.
"He loves you Bone. He does. And he knows it, which scares him. And right now he's on the phone with her trying to convince himself that she's what he wants. He's putting himself through hell because he's afraid. You need to go to him and be there for him. Let him know that you're here." I was stroking his back comfortingly. I wonder if he even realized how much he was trembling. After a few minutes he looked up at me, tears obviously threatening to fall.
"You think so?"
"Yeah."
~AJ~
I can't believe I let D talk me into this. I'm standing outside of Brian's door right now trying to gather up the courage to knock. Finally I do it. I raise my fist and rap on the heavy wood. I wait. Nothing.
I knock again.
Still nothing.
Something's wrong. I know he's in there because he was yelling at Barbie not 5 minutes ago. And I don't hear water running so he's not in the shower. I'm starting to panic. Hopefully he hasn't done anything to himself. A million scenarios run through my mind and fear rushes through my body. Trying the doorknob I find that it's open and I turn it, running into Brian's suite. "BRI?" I say loudly, hoping that he answers. Looking around wildly I see him. Propped up against the wall, sitting with his head between his knees resting in his hands. His shoulders are shaking the only indicator that he's crying. My heart breaks all over again. To see him in this much pain puts me through an equal amount of pain. I would give anything to ease his pain. To just see him smile.
It's been so long since he's smiled.
I walk over and sit beside him, wrapping my arm around him. I get this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. I shouldn't be here. I'm only going to get hurt. When this passes the exact same thing that always happens will happen. He will push me away and go back to her. As much as I want for that to not happen, I ultimately know it will. I feel him lean into my touch and any thoughts of leaving disappears.
~Brian~
I can't believe he's here with me. For me. After everything I've done to him, the way I've treated him and he still came. Without me having to ask. This knowledge makes me cry even more. Why does he have to be so sweet. So caring. So AJ. As much as I want to tell him to leave...to run before I hurt him yet again, I can't. I need him here. I want him here. He makes me feel loved, special. And I need that so much. I know it's selfish but I don't know what I'd do without him. I lean into his touch and I feel him relax against me. I love him so much.
We just sat here for I don't even know how long, rocking back and forth. I can feel my eyelids drooping and I'm almost asleep. Everything seems to be catching up with me and all I want to do is sleep. I think he realizes I'm about to fall asleep and he pulls me up, leading me to the bed. He helps me out of my pants and lies me down on the bed. I know he's deciding whether he should stay or go so I tug on his arm, pleading with him to stay. He takes his jeans of as well and gets into the bed beside me. Both of us in T-shirts and boxers. He crawls in behind me, wrapping his arms around me so that we're spooning. It feels so natural that I forget what it felt like before I started crawling into bed with him, before this whole...whatever it is started. And then I had to go and change everything. Fuck things up even more than they already were.
I turned so that we were lying face to face. I hadn't been sure if he was still awake, but when I moved, I saw his eyes open, watching me intently. I wanted to touch his face, so I brought my hand up and traced his mouth...eyes...jaw.
"Brian? What are you doing?" His voice was breathy, his eyes fluttered closed.
"I don't know Alex." I wasn't lying. I didn't know what I was doing, I was just going on instinct. And then I leaned in and kissed him so softly. So beautifully. All I want to do is get lost in his kiss, in the love I can feel there.