Title: Maybe.. Just Once
Pairing: Kev/Nicky, AJ/Brian
Author: Jules
Feedback: Send Here
Rating: Im'a say R... don't understand that NC-17 stuff
Disclaimer: If the first part never happened... then this part sure as hell never happened... Just something I came up with while in an elevator and ran with it...
Chapter 15~AJ~
Okay...So maybe I shouldn't have asked that. It doesn't matter how bad you think things are. They can always get worse. I thought it was bad enough to SEE Brian's reaction to us, but to hear him boldly deny what happened was worse. I approached him later that day at the venue. We were on a break and I needed to get it off my chest. "Rok? Can we talk for a second?" He was nervous and a little on edge. Maybe this wasn't the best time. Oh well, I can't go back now.
"Nothing to talk about." His voice was hard and cold.
"I want to talk about us." I wasn't letting him off the hook on this one.
"There is no us. Leighanne and I are an us. You and I are not." His words were so simple, so blunt. But spoke volumes. I flinched and heard my breath get caught in my throat. I will not cry. I WILL NOT CRY. "Do you mean to tell me you feel nothing for me? Not physically? Emotionally?"
He didn't answer it. At least not directly. "I love her. We're getting married." Nothing more needed to be said. He'd made his decision. "Fine." I heard myself say in a voice I didn't recognize. I think my heart actually broke. Damn him.
~Brian~
Oh my god. What did I just do? The room is spinning out of control and I have to fight not to break down. I have never lied to AJ before. At least not until 2 minutes ago. When I see him leave I let myself break down. I don't think I've ever cried as much in my life as I have in the past few months. I can't fool myself any more. When I'm lying in his arms, that's when I feel safe, secure. Like I belong there. I'm so afraid of what will happen if I actually admit that I .. I .. That I love him. I can't. It's just... I can't. I don't know what I'm going to do. I know now that even if I change my mind, don't marry her, I can't go back. I have just lost any chance I might have had with AJ. I don't know what I'm going to do now.
~Nick~
There is something serious going on here. I never realized how Brian and AJ sharing a bus would affect them. Personally? I thought it would bring them closer together. They'd have to interact with one another. Being in such a small area, so cramped together it would force them to admit to themselves and each other how they feel about one another. It seems that the opposite has happened. They don't even talk anymore. Barely even acknowledge each other.
And Brian's fucking marrying Leigh. Doesn't he realize how wrong that is? He can't be serious about this. Something has to be done. I don't know what... But something. Maybe Kevin and I can come up with a plan. Yeah.. That sounds good. Kev and I brainstorming.... I'm sure we'll come up with something. And if we don't..we'll sure as hell have a good time trying. Speaking of... I wonder where my sexy boyfriend is right now.
~Howie~
I'm telling you. Someone's going to pay for this. I don't know who...but anyone will do really. I'm going insane. I swear... If things don't change around here, I'm calling Chris and seeing if they'll trade Joey over here for me. No one will really notice......it's not like they pay attention to me now. And it's not like they really need Joey. Now Justin or JC... I know they're important over there...but Joey's.. Well Joey. Maybe he'd even like it over here. I know I'm sounding insane but really. Drastic situations call for drastic measures.