Title: Maybe.. Just Once
Pairing: Kev/Nicky, AJ/Brian
Author: Jules
Feedback: Send Here
Rating: Im'a say R... don't understand that NC-17 stuff
Disclaimer: If the first part never happened... then this part sure as hell never happened... Just something I came up with while in an elevator and ran with it...
Chapter 14~AJ~
I feel someone in bed with me and wake up a little confused. It's been a while since I've woken up with someone. Still half asleep I don't question it and move in closer, snuggling with whoever it is that's in my bed. If it's a dream I don't want to wake up. I can imagine it's Brian and we're happy. We're in love.
The person is running their fingers through my hair an I can feel them breathing on my face. I so want this to be Brian. Too bad it's a dream. It has to be a dream. Who would I be in bed with! Smiling I feel their lips on mine. It feels so real. They're kissing me now and they taste so good. I think that's their tongue. Opening my mouth I pull them closer and begin to grind my hips into them. If it's just a dream, I might as well make the most of it. "Oh Brian." I mumble sucking on their tongue and pulling the dream person on top of me. I need to have more of these dreams a hell of a lot more often.
~Brian~
I'm having the most amazing dream of my entire life. I'm in bed with AJ and we're sleeping. I turn over and watch him sleep before pulling him in and kissing him. It feels so real and I hope I never wake up. It is here we can be together. It is in my dreams I have no obligations...no expectations. He feels so good under me. Tastes so good and I want more. I hear him moan my name and he pulls me closer. And that's when I feel his erection rub against mine. Only....it feels too real to be a dream.
I open my eyes to find out that I'm on top of AJ and we're kissing, passionately. From the looks of it, he's still half asleep and probably thinks it's a dream like I did. I'm torn between my head and my heart. He looks so sexy underneath me. Breathing hard and mouth ready for more. But my head is telling me that I need to get out of here. What the hell is going on? I jerk suddenly, waking him up. I can see the confusion on his face as he realizes it's not a dream.
"What's going on?" I can't help but ask. Panic mode has set in.
And then I can tell AJ remembers what's going on. "You freaked out. Came into my room last night again and crawled in to sleep with me. Said your room was too lonely. Too empty." The sadness and frustration in his voice cut me like a knife.
I jumped up and got as far from the bed as I could. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. Wrong." I saw the tears form in his eyes and wished it could be different.
~AJ~
I tried not to cry. I really did but couldn't help it. This was happening too frequently. Almost every other night, whether we were on the bus or in a hotel, around 3am I would hear a soft knock on my door followed by footsteps leading to the bed. Brian would crawl into the bed with me and ask if he could sleep with me. He swore each time would be the last, but it never was. And sometimes this would happen. He would forget how in love with Barbie he was and kiss me. Touch me. Whisper his apologies as he let me hold him. And each time I convinced myself that I was okay with this. But I wasn't. It is slowly killing me.
The hardest thing I've ever done is watch him freak out each time it happens. When he realizes what he's done. Seeing the shame. The disgust in his eyes. The guilt. We so need to talk about this. Perhaps when we've both calmed down. I did manage to string two words together as I watched him pace around the room. "Please leave." Shocked he looked at me. I've never told him to leave. He must have known that I needed him to listen to me, because he did. He walked out just seconds before I broke down into tears. How much worse could this get?