Title: Maybe.. Just Once
Pairing: Kev/Nicky, AJ/Brian
Author: Jules
Feedback: Send Here
Rating: Im'a say R... don't understand that NC-17 stuff
Disclaimer: If the first part never happened... then this part sure as hell never happened... Just something I came up with while in an elevator and ran with it...
Chapter 6~Brian~
I can't believe what happened the other day. I know I shouldn't have run out of AJ's room like that but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what he was asking me, why he was asking it. It had looked like he was genuinely interested in the answer. As if it held some higher meaning to him, and I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to think about Nick and Kevin having sex...dating...anything. I feel so weird around them all now, well except around Howie. He's so lucky, nothing phases him. He has no idea what's going on around him and seems happy that way. I wish I could be that blind, that ignorant. And I don't mean ignorant in a demeaning sort of way, but ignorance in bliss. I know I've been avoiding Kevin and Nick, but I don't think they've noticed. They seem a little preoccupied, which is good I guess. But all I can see is them on that bed, the look of pure pleasure on Nick's face. And then I can hear AJ's voice, flowing over me like water. Touching every part of my body, my soul.
FUCK! This is not good. I need to get away. I need to call Leighanne.
~Howie~
Brian knows. I don't know how he knows, and I don't think Nick or Kevin knows he knows, but he knows. He's been acting weird for days now. Gets all flustered when they're around, especially when they're together. Hasn't looked either in the eye and makes up an excuse to leave when they talk to him. Nick had touched Kevin's shoulder yesterday and I thought Brian was going to piss himself. Laughing, I walked over to the table full of food and made myself a plate. This really was amusing. I don't know what is funnier, watching Brian with Nick and Kevin, or watching Brian with AJ. Something happened there too. Whenever AJ talks, Bri gets this look on his face, a mixture of pain and pleasure. All I know is that Brian looks like he's about to have a coronary. If he doesn't calm down a bit, his heart is going to explode. I wonder sometimes if I'm the only normal one. Must be that gay gene or something. Giggling softly to myself I've decided I'm going to join them today. Might prove interesting.
~Nick~
I almost had a heart attack when Howie actually joined us to eat today. He NEVER eats with us. Hell... He never does anything with us anymore. He's usually too busy, but it was good to have him hang with us. I've missed him a lot lately. Getting back to what I was doing before Howie shocked the hell out of me, I turned back to AJ. "So Bone. What's up with Rok?" I could tell he was debating something in his head. Like he knew but didn't want to tell me. "I don't know man. I've noticed it too."
"Well whatever it is, I hope he's okay. He's been avoiding us like the plague all week."
"I don't know what to tell you bro. I think he's just got issues he's dealing with." AJ said trying to change the subject. I knew he was doing it and decided to let it go. But then I heard Howie laughing beside me.
"And what's so funny Chuckles?" I asked, turning to smile at him.
That made him laugh harder, almost falling out of his chair. "Chuckles? Did you just call me chuckles?" Seeing him laugh like that got me to laughing, and before I knew it I was doubled over too. "Yeah jackass. What's so fucking funny?"
"Just you guys... You're such idiots." He said, wiping the tears from his eyes. Even AJ had joined in laughing.
When we finally stopped laughing I saw a serious look cross AJ's face. "Speaking of issues Bone." I said, lightly touching his arm. I felt him stiffen slightly and look around cautiously.
"If you need to talk about things, I'm always here for you."
He smiled and nodded his head. "Thanks." His voice was barely a whisper.
~Howie~
They'd forgotten I was there. Thought I had no idea what they were talking about. Knowing that fact I stayed quiet. Didn't say what was on my mind. Not that there was anything profound on my mind, but all the same. I just thought it was funny that they were so blind to what was blatantly in front of them.
~Kevin~
I wondered if anyone had noticed the way that Brian looked at AJ. I mean, he'd avoided all of us this week...well all of us but Howie. He was still normal around D. But he wouldn't look Nick or I in the eyes, and stayed clear away from AJ. But those gazes. Those looks he would give him when he thought no one was looking. Note to self, talk to Nick about it. See what he thought. Something was definitely up there. Plus I knew that AJ was developing feelings for Brian which could be dangerous. Brian was convinced he was in love with Leighanne. It was what was expected of him. Find the token prize bride, court her, marry her and have a beautiful family with her. It was what he was born to do, raised to do and it was what he believed was right, even though I think in his heart it wasn't what he wanted. This was going to be one bumpy ride.
~AJ~
After Nick and Howie left me at the table I sat there for a bit longer. It wasn't as if I really had anywhere else to go, so I just stayed there to think. Tried to get my head together. How could I have fallen in love with Brian? How? It didn't make sense. And why did I have to fall in love with someone who was in love with someone else. A woman at that. This wasn't going to work. I tried to see how he felt the other night and he freaked on me, and hasn't even talked to me since. Can't even be in the same room with me. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to go back to the gay bar. Not the same one I had gone to before, we were in a different city now. It would have to be another one, but I was going to go. I had told Nick about it and he smiled at me. Told me that if I wanted company he'd go with me. We wouldn't have to tell anyone, not even Kevin. I knew he wasn't propositioning me, he and Kevin were too much in love to really let anyone else in. He was just being there for me. Letting me know I wasn't alone. I thanked him but told him I wanted to do it alone. Spread my own wings.
I was so lost in thought I hadn't noticed anyone joining me. Didn't hear him until he sat down and cleared his throat. "Alex." He whispered. I knew something was up when he called me Alex. NO ONE calls me Alex anymore. Well only on special occasions, when it is really serious.
I raised my eyes meeting his clear blue ones.
"Brian." With one smile he had turned me all inside out. My heart was racing, my stomach in knots. I couldn't help but wonder when this all started. Why me? Why Brian? And then he looked away, a far away look on his face and I knew why. He was beautiful. An angel. The most amazing person I had ever met in my entire life. I was a better person having known him, and realized that no matter what happened, no matter how everything turned out, I would love him for the rest of our lives.
I could tell he wanted to say something, but just didn't know how to start.
"Just say it Bri." I said, reaching over and touching his hand. I felt a spark when my fingers touched his. Judging by the look on his face, I could tell he felt it too.
And then he said the three words I never thought I'd ever hear from him. "Maybe...just once." It was barely audible.
My heart stopped. Literally stopped. Instantly I knew he was answering my question from a few days ago. He had been thinking about it since then, debating it and now was giving me his answer. I had to play this cool. Didn't want to scare him off at how happy I was. I just raised an eyebrow and took a gulp of my water. "Just once?"
Brian paused and smirked. A naughty, I've got a secret smirk. "Or twice."